She Came at Dawn
by damn unique
Summary: Reito and Shizuru have been together for quite a while, but when Reito's best friend Takeda introduces his new girlfriend Natsuki to the happy couple, things become chaotic. ShizNat AU
1. The new girl

_"__**Somehow I found a way to get lost in you_."_**_

**Summary:** Reito and Shizuru have been together for quite a while, but when Reito's best friend Takeda introduces his new girlfriend Natsuki to the happy couple, things become chaotic. ShizNat AU

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**

**This newly edited and original version of this story is now available as paperback and ebook on Amazon, ITunes and Smashwords.**

**Disclaimer:****Mai HiME is property of Sunrise.**_**  
><strong>_

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><p><strong><em>She Came at Dawn<em>**

**Chapter 1 – The new girl**

Most people at the party fell silent for a split second as the three college students entered the apartment of their friend who was throwing one of his famous 'semester-out-parties'.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to this." sighed the boy on the right. His short jet black hair was neatly formed into spikes that were standing out in all directions.

"You better get used to it fast, Takeda-kun." The other boy said with a smirk.

"What's that supposed to mean?" His face went beet-red.

"Ara, is there something I need to know?" The girl, who had silently stood between the guys tossed in with a strong Kyoto-accent.

She obviously seemed to be the reason for the party-guests to look at the small group longer than usual. Her deep-red eyes and her silky chestnut hair were rounding the flawless appearance to a breathtaking sight that let some of the male students earn angry glances from their girlfriends. But they soon got repaid when the boy on the left of the Kyoto-beauty was giving one of his stunning smiles away that melted down the hearts of most females in the room. He was a bit taller than the girl but just as good-looking. Only by taking the hand of the crimson-eyed beauty, the attention was drawn away from them as they both made clear that they were already taken. One of the girls angrily whispered 'Of course such gorgeous people would be a couple…' after the tall boy had kissed the girl passionately on her lips.

"Hasn't Takeda told you that he has a girlfriend now, my love?" The boy asked after breaking the kiss.

"No, he seems to distrust me. Shame on you, Takeda." She said as she gave him a sad look that instantly made Takeda panic.

"I'm sorry Shizuru. Don't be mad. Reito is only telling you half of the truth." He said trying to find an excuse before he faced the other dark haired boy again. "And thanks for outing me, by the way. It's good to have a best friend like you." He paused before bringing his attention back to Shizuru again. "There is a girl, yes. But we're not together. We've been dating for a week and I hope that it might work out."

"Good for you, Takeda. Do we know her?" Shizuru said in her sweetest voice, truly happy for her usually not so lucky friend.

"No, I don't think so. She just moved here." He answered while they started walking over to the bar.

"So, how is she?" Shizuru was good at being curious without showing it. Reito smiled when he watched his girlfriend skillfully directing the conversation.

"A real looker. Almost too good for my best friend here." Reito tossed in with a sarcastic voice.

"Oh, so you have already met her?" She turned her attention back to her boyfriend.

"No, Takeda showed me a picture."

"Really? Can I have a look too then?" She quickly brought the attention back to the poor boy.

"I don't have it with me, but…"

"But what?"

"She might be coming over to pick me up later."

"I see…" Shizuru smiled in delight before turning around to exchange a sly grin with Reito.

"So of course you will introduce your best friends to her, right Takeda-kun?" Reito said nonchalantly while the crimson-eyed girl nodded in agreement. Not able to resist Shizuru's perfect smile, Takeda stuttered. "I… I guess…"

"Good, we're looking forward to it." Reito said cheerfully. "And now for that beer…"

After a few hours of drinking and chatting, the friends said their goodbyes and made their way outside. All of them were slightly boozed, and so the stairs were more troublesome than earlier. When they arrived on the already busy street, they noticed for the first time how late it really was. Given the light at the horizon the sun would rise in a few minutes.

"You know guys…I have to tell you something before you meet her."

"What is it, Takeda?" came the sweet accent.

"Don't tell me the picture was a fake and she's ugly in reality." The wording was a clear sign that Reito might have had too much fun at the party and Shizuru felt a bit sorry for their already troubled friend.

"What?! No, not at all. She's the most beautiful person I've ever seen." His eyes were shining as if he was talking about some kind of goddess.

"So what's the problem?"

"She is a bit… odd."

"Odd like crazy odd?" Reito asked with a stupid grin.

"No, more like cold and distant odd."

"That's to be expected after just moving here, isn't it? She might be insecure, but don't you worry. Your good friends will help you warm her up." The diplomatic words of Shizuru interrupted the conversation of the boys for a second.

"Yes, we will break the ice. No! We will melt her heart." Reito joked but Shizuru was quick to bring him back to earth.

"Now that's enough. You, sweetheart, had too much beer."

"My my, I only had… I don't remember."

"And that's a sure sign of too much, hon."

When they stumbled outside to the crowded street, Takeda scanned the area for a sign of the object of his affection.

"Maybe she forgot about you?" Shizuru said bluntly.

"Or maybe she found someone better." Reito added chuckling like a little boy.

"You always get way too mean when you're drunk, pal." Takeda countered.

The roar of a motorcycle that was parked on the side of the street caught their attention, and suddenly Takeda's expression changed completely.

"There she is." He said with an unknown happiness before he started to run over.

Shizuru and Reito looked at each other with puzzled eyes and decided to wait a few more seconds. They watched the figure descending from the bike. The elegant movement left no doubt that it was indeed a girl and neither did the tight leather-suit. The bike reflected the morning colors and Shizuru had to admit she was a bit amazed about the appearance of the girl_. _They could see Takeda gesturing nervously in their directions, and so they followed his hint to come over.

The closer they got, the more Shizuru had to admit that at least the body of that girl was in a nice shape. The black leather-suit didn't leave much room for imagination, and now she was even more curious if the face held what the curves promised. She knew that her boyfriend might have a stupid grin on his face by taking in the sight of Takeda's choice, but sometimes you just have to accept that there are other good-looking girls out there.

"Reito, Shizuru…I would like to introduce you to the most beautiful woman on earth. This is Kuga Natsuki." Takeda's heart was about to burst as he proudly announced the name of the girl next to him.

"Don't be ridiculous, Masashi." was the cold response. The voice sounded very husky for a woman, but Shizuru had to admit that it fitted the whole appearance just perfect. Finally, the stranger took off her helmet and showed what everyone had been waiting for. Silky strands of long black hair fell out of the helmet and scattered across the shoulders of the girl. Shizuru could hear her boyfriend inhale sharply, and turned around slightly to send him a dangerous glare before bringing her full attention back to observe the new face in front of her. She instantly found herself staring into the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen. The deep emerald-color was just like a wild ocean. The sad lonesome look, which Shizuru had never seen before in anybody else's eyes, was taking her breath away for a second.

"It's nice to meet you, Kuga-san." The voice of Reito swept Shizuru out of her trance.

"Natsuki."

"Excuse me?" Reito asked not sure if he understood what the girl meant.

"The name. It's just Natsuki."

"Ah, yes. She doesn't like to be so formal." Takeda tossed in, trying to explain the rudeness with a nervous chuckle.

"I can talk for myself." Natsuki growled back at him.

Shizuru was still stunned about the sight in front of her and had some trouble keeping her composure. _Maybe I should have skipped that last beer. I am having strange thoughts…_

"I would like to say that Takeda-kun had told us a lot about you, but sadly I heard of you for the first time tonight." _What am I doing here? Making Takeda look like an idiot at the first encounter. _"But at least he was right about you being quite an eye catcher." Shizuru added, trying to save the conversation.

"Idiot." Natsuki mumbled towards Takeda, unable to hide the blush on her cheeks.

_And now she looks even more gorgeous. Where on earth did Takeda find her?_

"Can we go now?" The raven-haired girl said bluntly.

"Of… of course. I'll talk to you guys later, okay?" He jumped on the motorcycle.

"Yeah sure, don't forget our billiard-match tomorrow." Reito said waving.

"Shoot! I already made plans with Natsuki."

"No problem. You are free to go." The biker girl said coldly and Takeda looked at her like a beaten dog. Shizuru pitied her friend and was quick to save the situation.

"Why don't we make it a double date? I am free tomorrow and I always wanted to play my precious boyfriend over here. We should show the guys how to play pool." Sending one of her perfect smiles along with the alluring Kyoto-ben, Shizuru was sure that she could help her friend.

"I don't know. Natsuki, are you okay with that?" Takeda asked shyly.

Natsuki took a moment to consider and so Shizuru spoke again. "You don't have to if you are afraid of losing."

"The hell I am! Count me in!" The green-eyed girl said with enthusiasm and a second later Takeda bowed to Shizuru as a silent 'thank you'.

"Alright you two, see you tomorrow." Shizuru waved with a grin right before Natsuki started the engine to speed away into the night.

"You just had to do that, didn't you?" Reito said, approaching her from behind.

"Of course. Look at Takeda. He's needy."

"You're too good to be true, and I love you for that." He whispered into her ear.

"I know." Shizuru smiled before Reito turned her around to draw her in for a kiss.

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><p><strong>AN:** Yeah, I know all the heterosexual stuff is disgusting ;-) But the story has to be built up first. So be patient. I just noticed: This is my first AU story. Yay, new challenge. I needed something more romantic to help me deal with the huge amount of drama from my other fics. And for once it is really ShizNat without Nao interfering. She doesn't even exist in this story. Now, we just have to get rid off the boys.


	2. Intrigued

"_**Sometimes the one thing you are looking for is the one thing you can't see."**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn_  
><em>**

**Disclaimer**_**: **_**I don't own Mai HiME. Although I gotta say I only borrowed the characters here and not any other elements of the anime^^Woohoo for AU stories.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2 – Intrigued<strong>

Shizuru and Reito were already waiting inside the game center when Natsuki and Takeda arrived fashionably late.

"Hello, you two. We were afraid you would let us down, but I guess you're not that scared of a competition." Shizuru said with a warm smile.

"Sorry guys. We got a little carried away." Takeda's apology sounded a tad nervous, and so Reito used the chance to tease him a little.

"Ah, carried away… I see." He grinned like a teenage boy, and as a reward Takeda's face heated up within a second.

"Gahh! Not what you think! It was…"

Bang! Natsuki was quick to stop her date, with a fairly hard punch on his spiky head, from spilling any idiotic stuff. "Ouch…" Takeda winced while rubbing his head.

"Serves you right, idiot!" Natsuki growled before facing Reito and Shizuru. "We were late because he got a little carried away by holding on too tightly during the drive and so we missed the exit-ramp."

Trying to excuse the situation, Takeda still felt the need to defend himself. "I was scared because you drove so fast."

"Sissy…" Natsuki mumbled with a slight hint of regret.

Shizuru had watched the conversation silently. _Takeda was right about her being cold, but somehow I don't feel disturbed by it. Quite the contrary, it makes her very intriguing. She seems to like him, yet she isn't able to say anything nice. I wonder what lies beyond that icy mask…_

"Alright, I think we can go over to the eight ball match then. So, it's guys versus chicks? Or do you need the help of a man, sweetheart?" Reito said in the sweetest voice.

"Well, let me know when you see one." Shizuru countered with one of her disarming smiles, and her boyfriend had to admit that he had just lost the first round. "Ugh, crash and burn. I shall repay you in the match though."

"We'll see about that." The convincing voice of the chestnut-haired woman made it hard to believe that she actually wasn't really good at playing pool, but she had learned that to intimidate the opponent was always a good tactic. Reito, knowing quite well that Shizuru wasn't the best player, just smiled at her and gave her quick peck. Not really sure what to do while the happy couple was billing and cooing, Takeda and Natsuki looked the other way.

"Ara, don't be so shy you two. We're on a date after all." Shizuru loved how the words made both of them blush.

"Yeah, sure. Umm, let's start already." Takeda stuttered and walked over to the pool table. Reito followed him with a mischievous grin, leaving the two women behind.

"So, Natsuki…" Shizuru started, trying to initiate a conversation.

"Hm?"

"To be honest, I'm not particularly good at this."

"Really? You seemed quite confident."

"It's always good to scare the enemy first." Shizuru smiled at the other girl, but Natsuki's expression remained icy. _Does she never smile?_

"I see." was the short response of the stoic girl.

Not wanting to let the conversation die away, Shizuru tried again. "Have you played pool before?"

"Sometimes." But Natsuki answered one as syllabically as before.

"Good. Maybe we'll be lucky."

"Luck? Where's the point in winning something because of luck? It's about being better." For the first time, Shizuru could sense some real emotions in the husky voice of the other girl. She had to admit that she was equally impressed and relieved about the combative spirit.

"I feel a bit better now that I see that you're at least motivated."

"Don't worry. We'll kick their asses." Natsuki said and walked over to the bar. "One beer." She ordered, her voice cold as ever, but Shizuru wouldn't let her get away so easily. "Make that two, please." She added and smiled at Natsuki again, who looked at her with puzzled eyes.

"Sorry." The raven-haired girl said.

"About what?"

"I didn't think you would drink beer."

"How come?" The Kyoto-girl gave her opposite an incredulous look.

"Umm, well look at you." She unintentionally let her eyes wander up and down the body of the crimson-eyed beauty.

"Yes?" Of course, the action didn't go unnoticed by Shizuru, but she didn't want to scare her away with an improper comment.

"I mean you look more like you would drink Champagne."

"Ara, is Natsuki judging people by their looks. I am bit disappointed now." She locked her eyes with the emerald orbs.

The sound of Shizuru's voice saying her name and the captivating gaze of the deep crimson eyes made Natsuki fall silent. She didn't know why, but she felt as if the other girl was looking right through her.

"There you go. That makes 400 Yen each." The bartender said as he brought the two beers.

Natsuki handed over the money before the other girl had even searched for her purse. They both turned around and leaned backwards against the bar, sipping on their beer.

"Thank you…" Shizuru wasn't really used to be treated to a drink by another girl, but didn't complain either.

At first, Natsuki said nothing. Only the silence of Shizuru seemed to make her speak again after a while. "Sorry for assuming things like that. It was stupid." She said while focusing on the pool tables on the other side of the room.

"It's okay." Shizuru wanted to say more, but she wasn't so stupid as to interrupt the other girl now.

"No, it's not. I, especially, should know not to be so superficial."

"Does that mean you get judged by your looks often?" The Kyoto-girl asked.

"I guess I can't even be angry about it. After all, I'm not the average college girl."

"You're going to college too?" Shizuru's eyes got wide in surprise. She felt stupid for looking at the other girl like that, but the news came like a bolt from the blue.

"Who's the one judging by looks now?" Natsuki said before she looked into her opposite's eyes with a light smile. Shizuru was a bit stunned by the newly discovered image that crossed the lips of the other girl.

"I'm… I'm sorry." _Ara, since when does someone make me stutter like a little girl… _"What are your subjects?"

"History and English literature."

"Really? I'm studying English Literature too. I never saw you in any of the classes, though."

"That's because I just transferred here a few weeks ago. I will pick up the studies next semester. I wanted to use spring break to get to know my new surroundings." Natsuki explained.

"I see. I guess that means we're going to see each other from time to time. If you need help with your schedule or anything feel free to ask."

"I will remember that. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

The boys were waving them over to the table for getting the match started. With another stunningly confident smile Natsuki started walking over. Shizuru looked after her, still amazed about the strange aura the girl gave away, before she followed silently.

"Lady's first?" Reito said, handing the cue over to his girlfriend. Not so convinced anymore, Shizuru turned around to the raven-haired girl. And although she thought she had hidden all of her insecurity, Natsuki gave her reassuring nod. The deep green eyes seemed to pierce right through her. She turned around with a light sigh and opened the game with her first shot. The luck seemed to be on her side as a ball landed in one of the middle pockets.

"I'm impressed. You have the solids." Reito said with a hint of amusement before turning to Takeda. "That leaves the stripes for us, pal."

"Good, I like them better anyways. Let's see if Shizuru can stand the pressure."

The crimson-eyed beauty said nothing as she aimed for another pocket. Somehow the cue ball didn't do what Shizuru had planned and so the yellow ball with the number one on it remained on the table.

"Too bad ladies, it was a good try though." Takeda and Reito grinned at each other like children, and Shizuru found it really frustrating to see her boyfriend behaving like this. She went over to Natsuki and handed her the cue.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We just started. They need to do better first."

Sadly, that was exactly what happened. Reito scored one ball after another until only the black eight was left.

"I'm sorry ladies, but this is goodbye. It was a pleasure beating you." His voice was victorious and Shizuru seriously thought about hitting him with the cue for his arrogance, but someone seemed to have mercy as Reito missed the final shot.

"Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry that you missed that one." Shizuru said in the sweetest voice with such a sarcastic undertone that Reito didn't say a word when he left the table.

"Don't worry, Natsuki. They play this stupid game every week. It's not a shame to lose."

"We won't." Her pool partner said in a low voice. Shizuru wasn't quite sure if she had heard her right. "Pardon?"

"We won't lose." The confidence in Natsuki's voice made Shizuru fall silent as she looked after the raven-haired girl, who circled the table a few times. Obviously taking a closer look at the situation, Natsuki took her time before making a move. She looked so concentrated that none of the others dared to interrupt her. Finally, she positioned herself over the table. Shizuru didn't know why, but somehow adrenaline started to make her heart beat faster. She was sure that this game was lost, but the self-confidence of the other girl gave her a small flicker of hope. The emerald eyes were focused on the cue ball, only for a split second before the shot was made they looked up, instantly locking with her crimson ones. The brief moment stunned Shizuru deeply. Uncertain about what to think of her reaction, she didn't notice the success at first. Natsuki had pocketed two solids with only one shot and even the boys seemed to be quite impressed, judging by their shocked faces. The girl didn't comment on her shot or anything as she positioned herself for the next shot. Ball after ball disappeared in the pockets until only the black eight was left.

Natsuki turned around to Shizuru and gave her little smile before she won the game with the next strike. Reito and Takeda were at a loss of words as their jaws dropped in union.

"This can't be…" Takeda mumbled after his mouth had become too dry to leave it open any longer.

"Great Takeda, you found someone who is able to embarrass you even more than yourself." The words of Reito didn't sound as sarcastic as Takeda had hoped for.

"I had no idea that she's a professional." Takeda said in disbelief.

"That sounds so wrong…" Thankfully, Reito had whispered the comment. Otherwise, Takeda was sure Natsuki would have punched the boy in his face.

"Pity, we didn't bet." Shizuru said as she walked over to the boys.

"Yeah…pity." Reito answered, obviously pissed about the situation. He turned to Takeda. "It's time for some beer, don't you think?"

"Definitely." He walked over to Natsuki, who was leaning against a wall with the cue still in her hands. "Do you want something to drink?" The girl only raised her glass to show that she was good. She didn't even look Takeda in the eyes.

Shizuru wasn't sure if it was a sign of annoyance or shyness. She couldn't comprehend the mysterious girl at all. After the boys had disappeared, Shizuru and Natsuki were alone again. Not quite knowing what to do, Shizuru looked over to the raven-haired girl, who was sipping her beer. _Somehow the double date is not going so well. It's not the best tactic to get drunk with Reito while his date is standing here all alone. Takeda really is dense at times. Maybe I should go over and talk to her. She always has that aura around her that she is lost._

"I'm amazed." Shizuru said nonchalantly as she leaned against the wall next to Natsuki.

"That boys are sore losers? I'm not. I am used to it."

"I bet." She paused and looked at the profile of the silent girl. _Her skin looks soft compared to the rather rough attitude and her lips are beautifully shaped._ The more Shizuru took in the features of the stranger the more she had to admit that Takeda was indeed right by calling her a stunning beauty. When Natsuki suddenly looked up, catching Shizuru's gaze, the taller girl felt a bit embarrassed about staring.

"Do you wanna learn how to play?" Natsuki asked out of the blue, tearing the other girl out of her thoughts way too abruptly.

"Ex… Excuse me? Shizuru was a bit at a loss for words as she stared into the shining emerald eyes.

"Pool."

"Pool? Oh of course, the game. I'm not good at it." _What? Am I twelve now?_

"That's why I'm asking you if you want me to show you." Natsuki was a bit flustered.

_Now, get a hold of yourself and stop babbling like an idiot._ "Ara, if Natsuki wants to teach me that badly I can't decline."

The other girl couldn't hide the light blush that rose to her cheeks as Shizuru spoke in her most alluring voice. _Much better. I'm back on track. _Shizuru thought, not knowing how fast she would be losing focus again during the upcoming private lesson…

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><p><strong>AN:** Thanks for the flood of reviews. I was super happy and hope you guys will keep that up. Usually, first chapters get a lot of reviews and then it dies away cause most people only read without leaving a trace behind. Well, I like communicating with the readers so feal free to write me any time ;-) I have to say I am looking forward to the upcoming chapters myself now that I have worked out a storyline. Although I worry a bit for the boys...


	3. Lesson

"_**The higher you build the walls around your heart, the harder you fall when someone tears them down."**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**_**  
><strong>_

****Disclaimer: I don't own the Characters. Sunrise does.****

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><p><strong>Chapter 3 – Lesson<strong>

After Shizuru had gone over to the bar to grab another beer for Natsuki and herself, she made a short check up on Reito and Takeda to see if they were doing okay. Reito still was a little grumpy, and so he wasn't really paying attention to Shizuru. She had always known that the law student was used to winning, but still it was only a game. Her attempts at cheering him up were futile since he was already busy playing dart with Takeda against two other guys who already had one beer too many.

_Men can be truly disgusting. _She thought while watching the guys for a few moments. When one of the drunks ordered another beer for the 'round of men', as he called it, she couldn't help but rolling her eyes in annoyance. Grabbing the two beer glasses, she turned her back on the guys. Her eyes were almost automatically wandering over to the raven-haired girl, who was still leaning silently against the dark wall behind the pool table. It looked as if the emerald eyes were drifting off into nothingness. Shizuru stopped for a little while and watched the girl. It was hard to tear her eyes away from the other girl, and she was trying to somehow figure out what it was that made the raven-haired girl so fascinating. But as soon as Shizuru got closer to the table the lonesome look was soon replaced with a serious but friendlier face. Not really knowing what to say, Shizuru handed over the beer. The fingertips of the biker girl brushed lightly over Shizuru's palm, causing her to stiffen for a second as a little electric jolt shot through her body.

"Sorry…" Natsuki, who must have felt it too, muttered before she took a huge sip.

"Ara, I see. High voltage. Maybe you should go over and use your electricity on our boys. They seem to drown their sorrows in beer." She chuckled in the hope that the other girl would stop being uncomfortable, and somehow it worked. Natsuki smiled lightly. She was looking at the glass in her hands while her index finger circled the rim a few times.

"They'll get over it." She finally said before putting the beer away.

Shizuru who had been following the play of Natsuki's finger on the rim of the glass was a bit startled as it hit the table. Not really knowing how to explain her behavior, she tried to catch up why they had left off earlier.

"So, does Natsuki still want to show me how to become a professional pool player?" She said, sounding a little playful.

"I am not that good, but yes…I can show you the basics." Shizuru was not sure if Natsuki was flattered by her remark but she could have sworn she had seen a little blush on the cheeks of the other girl, but maybe it was just her imagination. Before she could investigate the situation any further, Natsuki handed her one of the cues.

"Let's begin with the break off." Natsuki suddenly sounded completely serious. Almost like a real teacher. "Try to aim straight at the apex ball."

"Will do." Shizuru said a bit afraid of completely embarrassing herself. While she was positioning the cue ball, Natsuki slowly walked over to the opposite end of the table. When Shizuru bent over to make her shot, her eyes got lost in an ocean of emerald. The colored balls on the table seemed to fade into a mush of black and white compared to the stunning eyes of the raven-haired girl. She hadn't noticed that Natsuki had kneeled down to watch her aiming more closely, and to find these eyes in the dimness behind the table made her lose every last bit of concentration. _I feel dizzy… must be the smoke. What is it with those eyes? Why can't I simply look away? Maybe the beer was drugged. I am starting to feel really weird._

"I think it's better if you focus on the cue ball." The husky voice of the girl ripped Shizuru out of her daze within a second.

"Sure." She said and smiled politely. _I feel idiotic._

"A little more to the left."

"Like that?"

"Yes. Now strike."

The ball is much too slow to break the pyramid of colored balls fully. Not a single one landed in the pockets.

"Wow, that was bad." Shizuru remarked bluntly.

"Doesn't matter. We can still practice break-offs later. Now try to aim at this one." Natsuki had her finger pointed at the green six, which was positioned at the right side pocket. Shizuru nodded with a determined look and tried her luck once more. She bent over and was again met with Natsuki's eyes. This time she could bring herself to focus on the cue ball without having the other girl tell her to. Just when she was about to make her shot, Natsuki suddenly interrupted her.

"If you don't stop your action, you might end up with a double kiss." The low voice was completely calm, although the words sounded so wrong to the chestnut-haired girl, who was so confused that she couldn't stop her movement anymore. Her eyes shot up due to the unexpected comment, and she completely lost her angle. She hit the cue ball in a fairly unfavorably spot, before scratching the table. It sent the white ball flying all over the table right into the direction of the raven-haired girl. Shizuru was so shocked that she couldn't repress a gasp. She put one hand over her mouth in horror when the image of the ball hitting the other girl right between the eyes shot through her head. Luckily, Natsuki was fast enough to dodge the unplanned attack.

"That was certainly a nice jump shot." The raven-haired girl remarked after the ball had hit the floor with a thud. "Actually, that was worse than doing a double kiss." She added still sounding nonchalant.

Shizuru just stared at the girl with a blank expression. She had no idea how to respond to the weird comments. Thankfully, Natsuki seemed to notice the irritation and enlightened her.

"If a ball strikes another ball, which is close to a rail, and the struck ball rebounds back into the ball it was hit by it's called a double kiss in billiard terms. Usually it's unintended but not always." Slowly, Shizuru came back to life. The words sunk into her head, and she instantly felt stupid about acting so weird.

"Ah…billiard terms. I see. Sure. I'm sorry about trying to kill you." The melodic sing-song of her voice helped to ease up the situation again, and somehow it also had a pleasant effect on her opposite.

"It's okay. I'm used to it." Natsuki said with a wink before she turned around to get the lost cue ball. Shizuru was so amazed about the gesture that she again simply stared at the green-eyed beauty. _Did she just loosen up for a second there?_

"Okay, now for our little bed problem." came the husky voice again.

Shizuru was amazed that a single person managed to get so many what-the-heck-expressions out of her in one evening. She had no idea how the girl managed to say so many confusing things without having second thoughts.

Not getting any kind of response from the crimson-eyed girl, Natsuki went on. "I don't think they will notice the little scratch. So, let's just keep it secret, okay?"

"Wow, I really have to get used to you talking polish to me." Shizuru smiled and let out a sigh.

"Sorry, old habits die hard." The expression on the biker-girl's face suddenly became serious again.

_Old habits…I wonder how long she played? She must have practiced much, or maybe she's just talented. That reminds me, I still don't know anything about her. _

"Do you wanna stop?" Natsuki asked, tearing Shizuru out of her thoughts again.

"Mh?"

"The lesson. You don't look like you're having fun." Natsuki was stating the obvious, and Shizuru instantly felt bad about giving away such an impression.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not good with all the terms. Maybe you can explain it a little easier." She politely smiled a little embarrassed.

The raven-haired girl tipped her chin with her index finger before answering. Shizuru found the thinking-position quite cute, but didn't say anything.

"Let me show you then."

"Alright. Sounds good." Not really knowing what she had to expect of that statement, Shizuru grabbed the cue once more. She went over to the table, making herself ready for another shot.

"Okay, bend over like you did before." Natsuki said while walking past her. Shizuru patiently waited for more instructions, but was also afraid to turn around. She figured that Natsuki might stand right behind her, and somehow it made her a little uncomfortable. Suddenly she heard the other girl cough slightly. "You need to twist your hips a little more to the right." The husky voice suddenly sounded a little insecure.

Shizuru now had clarity that the girl was standing right behind, probably focusing on her backside. "Like that?" She gulped while repositioning.

"No, more like…" Natsuki paused for a second before she added. "Excuse me…"

Shizuru stopped breathing for a moment when she felt two hands on her hips. She knew it was Natsuki, and she knew it shouldn't be a problem but somehow her body was acting awkwardly. It wasn't even a real touch. It was more as if the hands only very lightly touched the fabric of her skirt. Still Natsuki managed to direct her with the feather-like touch. "Bend over a little further and try to concentrate on the cue ball first." The girl behind her said lowly.

"Okay…" Shizuru suddenly felt as if she couldn't grab one clear thought at all. She was seriously worried now if she had been drugged or something.

"Bring your hand as close to it as possible."

"Bring hand as close as possible. Understood." Her voice sounded almost robot like as she somehow got lost by feeling the heat of the body behind her burning through her clothes.

"Have you found your balance-point yet?" Natsuki asked still talking very quietly.

"I'm not sure…"Shizuru words were only a breath since her head started to feel dizzy thanks to the loss of oxygen.

"You're holding the cue slightly wrong. In fact, you're gripping the butt too loosely."

"Excuse me?" Shizuru's head shot around with a shocked expression on her face.

"Your hand…" Natsuki pointed at the right hand of hers that was holding the cue. "It's not properly holding the end of the stick, which is called the 'butt' in pool terms." Natsuki said, using her teaching voice again.

"Yeah sure. Of course, I know." _I am making such an idiot out of myself. It's ridiculous. _Shizuru turned, shaking her head in disbelief. "You're really making me sweat." She mumbled to herself.

"Mh?"

"Nothing. Forget it." _Seriously, what is wrong with me? No! Actually it's not me but those perverted billiard terms. Who on earth thought of such a glossary for a harmless bar game? I bet it was a man. _ Her gaze wandered to Reito and the rest of the 'round of men', finding them covered in smoke with shot glasses in their hands. _It definitely was a man._

"Have you aimed yet?" The girl behind her asked, stopping Shizuru from watching the group any longer.

"Yes."

"Good. Shoot." It sounded like an order and so Shizuru willingly obeyed. Sadly, she wasn't aiming at all. There were too many thoughts in her head that had kept her from targeting the cue ball right, and so she only scratched the cue ball.

"Ugh, I guess I'm no good." She explained her failure with a sigh and a sad smile as she turned around to her supposed teacher.

"I don't think so. Let's give it another try, or do you give up so easily?" The emerald eyes were deeply staring into hers, and Shizuru felt that this wasn't an ordinary question. It sounded like a challenge, and she didn't want to disappoint her opposite. After all, she could be very persistent if she wants something.

"No." She said with certainty.

"Good! Then turn around and focus."

"Yes, ma'am." Shizuru chuckled about the serious commands.

"I mean it. It's all about concentration." Natsuki said underlining her previous statement. Shizuru wanted to fire back a witty comment, but was silenced by Natsuki's hand touching hers. First at the end of cue and then she felt how the girl bend over her back, laying her other hand over Shizuru's left too.

"See, my movements are the same as yours." Natsuki whispered next to her ear.

_Indeed… _Shizuru couldn't say anything. She was too stunned by the action, by the closeness, by the breathing on her back that sent a shiver down her spine, and the radiant heat that spread from her stomach throughout her whole body.

"And now with a little more concentration it'll work out." Natsuki breathed again, moving the cue along with Shizuru's hand towards the aim. Two balls disappeared in the pockets with a small thud.

"Wow, I'm impressed. You're really talented." Shizuru said after Natsuki had pulled away, which gave her room to come back to her senses.

"It's not about talent. If you have the right teacher and play often enough, everyone can become good at it." The raven-haired girl mumbled modestly.

"So, who was that great teacher in your case?" The question wasn't meant to sound inquisitive at all. It slipped out of her mouth almost accidentally. But the following silence from the other girl let her regret it instantly.

"My father…" The words that finally broke the awkward silence also triggered the lonesome look that Shizuru had seen before she came back to table. The turmoil in those deep green eyes was almost tangible. She thought about asking her what was wrong, but somehow the look also gave away the feeling of not wanting to go into any more detail. Still Shizuru felt guilty about crossing a line, and she felt the need to tell the other girl that she was sorry. Just when she took a breath to voice her thoughts, a figure stumble into her field of vision.

"If that isn't my sweetheart." Reito babbled before he embraced the chestnut-haired girl, pulling her in for a passionate kiss.

"You have quite the alcoholic breath, darling." Shizuru noted with a slightly disgusted look on her face.

"I know. The boys and I had some beers." His voice was slightly slower than usual. Shizuru knew this state very well. Reito might be very good at controlling his voice, but she could see that he had should have missed out on the last beer.

"I can see…and smell that. Where's Takeda?" She asked, sounding a little annoyed.

"Haha, he wasn't feeling so well and disappeared in the restrooms." Grinning like an idiot, Reito tightened his grip around Shizuru's waist again.

Without saying anything Natsuki suddenly stormed off. Shizuru repressed the sudden urge to go after the girl, but still struggled herself free from the arms of her lover.

"Can we go home?" Reito asked, suddenly sounding very tired.

"Of course, but let's wait for Natsuki and Takeda to return. Maybe we could share a cab." Her eyes were scanning the bar for the whereabouts of the biker-girl and her friend Takeda, but she couldn't find them. _Maybe she's looking for him in the restrooms…_

"Shizuru, sweetheart. They're old enough and here by bike. They'll get home without us." Her boyfriend started to get a little annoyed by the delay, and started to drag her towards the exit.

"But Natsuki did have two beers."

"Do you really think a chick like her gets knocked out by two beers? Seriously, she has more balls than Takeda does."

"I don't think I like you when you're drunk." It was said with a smile, but right now she wasn't sure if it really was meant in a funny way.

"Well, I know that I love you when I'm drunk…and when I'm sober…and always." He kissed her again with an apologetic look on his face. "So, let's go outside and take a cab." He whispered into her ear.

"Okay…" Shizuru finally gave in after turning around once more, still not finding what she was looking for. _Whatever that is…_

"Takeda will be alright. Stop worrying. Natsuki will take care of him. Takeda told me she might appear icy, but actually she can be really caring. Of course, she would never admit that. I think Takeda might finally have found someone that makes him happy."

"I see…"

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><p><strong>AN: **First of all: Special Thanks to my beta. So...Who would have thought that pool is such a naughty game. I am delighted^^I know it took me a while to wrtie down that Chapter, but I like the outcome. I think I might give you an idea of what comes next. I can tell you it has something do with a lingerie shop...So stay tuned. Btw I am really thankful about the resonance. I appreciate each and every review and try to always respond. Maybe I am just becoming a megalomaniac but if that goes on this story will hit the 100 mark within four chapters. So, if you like the story and want to make it happen keep on reviewing =)


	4. Voyage

"_**I don't know which is worse, being the one with the broken heart or being the person that breaks the hearts."**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**_**  
><strong>_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME. Sunrise does.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 4 – Voyage<strong>

The good thing about the start of a new semester is the free time during the first weeks. The classes are full and the lessons are mostly unimportant in the beginning, and although Shizuru had to fight hard to get into Mrs. Bradstone's Gender Studies class, she wasn't lucky enough to be part of the first lesson. When she came to the lecture room, it was already so crammed with students that she couldn't even see the famous teacher from her current position. After a fellow student had explained that the university had stuffed the class due to demand, Shizuru decided that it was no use standing in the hallway. _I can't say that I'm surprised that they weren't bright enough to think of supplying a bigger room. _She thought while pondering if she should stay or go. A few minutes later she gave in with a sigh. There was no way that she would grab a piece of information outside of the room. Usually, she would go to the library to use the won free time to study, but since the semester just started there was nothing to study at all. Not really knowing what else to do, she made her way to the city. She didn't really feel like going home yet; after all, it was only 4 pm. The weather nice and warm, and her other classes wouldn't start until next week because the English Department had a thing for delaying the start of lecturing.

When Shizuru entered the mall, she was stunned by the image in front of her. The shops were almost empty and the air was actually fresh. Only now she realized how relaxing shopping could be if you go at the right time. A smile crossed her lips as she started to work out a shopping plan in her head. She started with a cup of black-tea at the coffee corner before she made her way through the boutiques. The Kyoto-born would have loved to spend a fair amount of money in some of the shops, but the fact that she came by bus wasn't very inviting for carrying tons of bags. She made a note to herself that she'll come here again before lunch but next time with her car. _It's a shame that Reito isn't around when I could really use a hand._ She fished out her phone and dialed his number, having little hopes that he was available. The law-department was rather strict about their classes. But to her surprise he picked up after a little while of ringing.

'Hello sweetheart, you wouldn't happen to be free would you?' Shizuru said in the sweetest voice with a smile on her lips that Reito surely would have liked if he could see her right now.

'Hey darling, why are you asking? It's Monday and the semester has just started. I have classes in a bit. Is everything okay?' His voice was just as melodic, but the chestnut-haired girl could tell that there was no chance that he would skip classes for a little shopping adventure.

'Of course. My class was crowded and I wasn't lucky enough to get in.' She explained.

'Aww, I'm sorry. That was the one by Mrs. Bradstone, right?'

'Yes, but I'll try again next week.'

'So, where are you now? Wait…Don't say anything. You're at the mall right?'

'How did you know? Are you spying on me?' She was amazed that Reito seemed to know her that well, but after all, she was a girl. So, probably it wasn't too hard to figure out.

'Not yet. But I might if you decide to go into the right store.' His voice suddenly had that special undertone, and she knew very well where he was hinting at.

'Naughty you. But you're right. I am at the mall. Not in the shop you're hoping for though. Originally, I wanted to ask if you could pick me up with your car later because I don't want to get on the bus after a shopping marathon. You know me and my bags.' A small chuckle could be heard from the end of the line before he answered.

'Yes, I do. I have sad news for you though. I will be out late today.'

'I see. Too bad. I might postpone my shopping tour then.' She added a little extra sadness to her voice, but her boyfriend knew her well enough to not fall into her trap.

'I'm sorry. But I'm sure you can at least carry one little bag from a particular nice little shop.' Avoiding getting affected by the heartbreaking tone of Shizuru, Reito was quick to change topics.

'You're such a perv. I'll see.' Her voice was back to the normal melodic sing song.

'Okay, hon. I got to go. I love you. Bye.' The voices in the background had become lower and she assumed that the lesson was about to start. She said a quick goodbye and flipped her phone shut. _Well, I think I could at least take a look._

Walking through an almost empty mall certainly was something she could get used to. Not completely unintentionally she found herself in front of 'BrasNThings' after a few minutes. The first time Shizuru had set a foot in that store she fell in love with it. The shop assistants were friendly and the products of high quality. The price could have been a bit lower, but it was affordable. A friendly and polite greeting welcomed her when she entered the shop. Only a few women were looking through the huge collection of lingerie. She slowly walked around until her eyes caught sight of a lavender colored set of underwear. The bra had some nicely black-laced outlines, making the piece quite unique. Not wanting to waste any time, she started searching for the right size. In the corner of her eyes, she noticed someone walking over to one of the shop assistants. When she heard the voice she couldn't help but take a closer look. But the girl had already turned around, heading towards the changing rooms. Not completely sure if it really was Takeda's date, Shizuru took the set of underwear and walked after her. Two of the five stalls were in use. _Okay, there is a fifty-fifty chance_,_ but according to Murphy's Law, I might spy on the wrong one._ She slowly tiptoed towards the first cabin. The curtains were never completely opaque, and so she had the chance to take a quick peek. She could see a girl with long black hair, but she was sure that the body didn't fit the measurements of Takeda's girl. _The biker-suit wouldn't have fit if she was the person behind the curtain._ By now Shizuru believed that she had imagined the low and husky voice, but she sneaked over to the last cabin nonetheless. The curtain, as usual, wasn't completely closed. She tilted her head a bit and tried to look through the small slit. She was immediately greeted with something that looked like porcelain. A slender but athletic body was bending over inside the cabin. She couldn't see much, but what she saw made her dizzy for a slight second. Her gaze was fixated on the small of the back in front of her eyes, following every movement as the body righted back. Completely captured by how the muscles tensed and loosened again, she gulped in shock as silky black hair suddenly scattered across the naked flesh.

"Do you need anything, Miss?" The voice of the assistant that was suddenly standing at the front cabin made her swirl around in shock.

"No." She answered with a polite smile, still holding the set of underwear in her now sweaty hands.

"If you want to try those on you can choose one of the free cabins."

"Yes, thank you." She hectically jumped into the next free cabin and closed the curtain. Breathing heavily, she sat down on the little stool inside of it. _Well, at least I'm not imagining things. It was her after all…Phew, the biker-suit was right about her… curves. I can't believe I'm hiding inside a cabin of a lingerie shop. I feel like the average pervert… What the hell was I thinking spying on her while she's trying on underwear? I need to get out of here, and to grab some cool water… or better some cool booze… Damn you, Murphy!_

Ripping the curtain open with one hand, she dashed out of the changing room without paying attention to what was in front of her. When she felt the impact she had no idea what had gone wrong. Only as the scent of a certain perfume wrapped her up did she slowly realize in what position she was. She slowly opened her eyes and found herself inside an ocean of emerald. Not completely certain on what to do, she tried to interpret the shocked gaze right in front of her. She had trouble to breaking the intensive eye-contact at first, but when she let her gaze wander down the body of her opposite, her brain started working again. Natsuki must have come out of the cabin when Shizuru was hiding, and by rushing outside she practically tripped over the raven-haired girl, sending them both flying against the wall of the other side of the small corridor that was framing the cabins. When she saw the red color on the cheeks of the emerald eyed girl she noticed with a shock that their faces were much too close. The only thing that was keeping her balanced was her arms. They were stemmed against the wall, unintentionally trapping the other girl's body. The bra and the slip were still in her hand, hanging down next to the biker-girl's cheek. Due to the hectic movement before it was swinging back and forth like a pendulum, ticking away the seconds. The emerald eyes slowly wandered to the clocklike set of underwear, still not saying a word. When Shizuru started breathing again, she had troubles in fighting down a blush herself. Pulling away as elegantly as possible, she was quick to cover her embarrassment with a perfect smile. She knew she had to break the silence now or never.

"Ahh, to meet Natsuki here of all places. I am quite surprised." came the warm voice with the distinctive Kyoto-ben.

"He… Hello." The other girl stuttered still completely flustered. They were both lost in each other gazes again for a few moments before the chestnut-haired girl was able to go on.

"Have you found anything nice?"

"Umm, I'm not sure." The raven-haired girl was hiding a piece of lingerie behind her back. Shizuru followed the hands with her eyes and recognized the pink bra from her peeping attack.

"But it looked nice…" She coughed. "I mean, I'm sure that looks wonderful on you." She corrected herself while pointing at the lingerie. _I need to keep it cool. I bet she already thinks I'm a pervert but then she's dating Takeda, so she should be used to it. _Unable to repress a light chuckle at her mean thoughts, she didn't notice that Natsuki wasn't so stiff anymore. The girl seemed to relax a little now that she had brought some distance between them.

"Maybe." She mumbled while her gaze had shifted to the ground.

"Do you want to surprise Takeda? Knowing him quite well, I'm sure he will be delighted with your choice."

"What? Why would I buy something like this for him?" Obviously embarrassed Natsuki's voice was much higher than usual.

"Oh, is Natsuki already seeing somebody else? And here I was thinking poor Takeda would finally be lucky." _Seriously, what is wrong with me? I'm not sure why I am constantly saying weird things in front of her… But then the herb in the tea earlier tasted slightly funny…_ The silence was a sure sign that her comment wasn't appropriate and she deeply regretted it.

"I got to go." The emerald-eyed girl suddenly said.

"No, wait. I'm sorry. I was just teasing you. I'm sorry if I overstepped a line." Not sure if the apology was enough, Shizuru patiently waited for a reaction, which eventually came in the form of an unexpected question.

"And you? Are you going to buy that for Reito?"

"Reito?" A puzzled look decorated Shizuru's already troubled face.

"Your boyfriend."

"Yes, Reito. Of course. Yes, I wanted to surprise him." _Actually, I don't… I am already used to the babbling but why am I lying now?_

"I see. It's nice." Natsuki said, not sounding particularly happy.

"Thanks." An odd silence started to unfold, but this time Natsuki was the one to break it.

"The fabric is of high quality. I would buy it, if I were you."

"So, Natsuki is familiar with lingerie." _Why can't I stop talking about lingerie in front of her?_ The image of Natsuki bending over and the porcelain skin came back to her mind, sending a light blush to her cheeks. Luckily the raven-haired girl didn't notice the slight change of color since she was busy fighting against another blush herself.

"I… I have a thing for lingerie." Getting a questioning look form her opposite about her confession, Natsuki started stuttering an explanation. "Err… I mean, I collect it."

"Wow, what a nice hobby you have." _This girl really is fascinating… Driving a motorcycle and collecting lingerie…_ For a split second the strange image of the raven-haired girl sitting on her bike in the pink underwear crossed Shizuru's thoughts and she immediately cursed herself silently. Not wanting to get wrapped up in sick fantasies she started babbling again. "Maybe, you can show me your collection sometime." _Wait! Where did that come from? Good, if she didn't already think I'm strange, she'll be certain about that by now…_

"Maybe…" Natsuki's answer was barely audible and a sure sign that she felt uncomfortable.

"What are you doing here by the way? The semester has already started."

"I wanted to attend a class, but it was too full and so I decided to take a walk. I wanted to get to know the city a bit better."

"Me too." Shizuru said being completely distracted by the emerald eyes again.

"But you live here." Natsuki stated bluntly with a what's-wrong-with-you-look on her face.

"I know…" _I certainly need to get a hold of myself before she starts avoiding me completely due to idiotism. _"I meant with the class. I came here because I was standing outside the classroom and couldn't understand a thing." She said, explaining her answer from earlier.

"Oh, okay."

"Do you want me to show you the city for a bit?"

Natsuki took a short moment to deliberate, but eventually nodded with a light smile.

After they had walked around for a while, Natsuki slowly got a bit comfortable around the taller girl. It was already getting dark when they stopped at a little noodle shop to grab something to eat. The beeping tone of Shizuru's mobile let her thoughts wander back to Reito for the first time after she had encountered Natsuki in the afternoon. The text was saying that he has to attend a meeting with his tutor in an hour, and that he doesn't know how long it would take. _Okay, that sounds like taking the bus then._

"I'm afraid I have to go in a bit." She said, while replying to the message.

"Oh… okay. It was nice…" Somehow the undertone of the husky voice sounded a bit sadder than usual.

"I did enjoy myself, too. I would have loved to stay a bit longer, but the last bus goes in 15 minutes and Reito is too busy to pick me up."

"I could give you a lift. I always have a second helmet with me since I'm seeing Takeda." Her voice became lower at the end of the sentence and the name was more mumbling than speaking.

"I don't want to trouble you. I don't live close by."

"No problem. I like driving." The raven-haired said with an insisting voice.

"If Natsuki is okay with that…"

"Yeah, sure. It's my way of repaying you for the city tour."

Shizuru agreed with a smile and the plan was settled.

When the raven-haired girl started the bike, Shizuru wasn't so sure if this was a good idea. She felt her heartbeat speed up after hearing the power of the engine. Natsuki must have seen her worries since she gave her a reassuring smile while handing over the helm. Shizuru took it and got on the bike with a brave sigh.

"Don't worry. I'll drive safe for you." The tone of Natsuki's voice was almost knightly.

"Thanks, that's very kind." Shizuru replied, before she lightly encircled the slender waist of the girl in front of her.

"That won't do."

"I'm sorry?"

"If you don't hold on a little tighter you'll most likely fall down."

Not really sure what to respond, Shizuru tightened her grip around Natsuki's waist. She could feel how the muscles of the girl tensed under the touch of her hands, and loosened up in the next seconds.

"It's safer this way…" Natsuki muttered.

_I am not quite sure if it doesn't make it more dangerous…_

Without saying another word, they started driving. The Kyoto-girl had some troubles giving directions due to the loud sound of the roaring engine, but tried her best. When they were near the cliffs, the roaring suddenly got louder. She was a bit irritated when the raven-haired girl suddenly stopped the bike on a small parking lot on the cliffs, but waited until Natsuki descended from the bike.

"Is something wrong?"

"I think so. It usually doesn't make such sounds… Dammit!" Natsuki cursed after a short checkup.

"What is it?"

"I think the chain tension is too low."

"Ah, the chain tension… whatever that means." Shizuru had no idea what the other girl was talking about.

"It means that I have to take it to a mechanic."

"So, we can't go on?"

"Most likely. I mean we could, but I don't wanna put you in unnecessary danger."

Shizuru gave Natsuki a reassuring smile before an idea came to her mind. "Let me try calling Reito, he must be finished by now. He has a trailer. We could pick your bike up too."

"Thank you. I'm sorry. This is the first time something like this has happened." The girl sounded guilty although there was no one to blame.

"Don't worry. It's not a problem at all." She fished out her phone and dialed the number of her boyfriend while walking a few steps away towards the street. After a short conversation, she came back to spread the good news.

"He's picking us up. It might take a little while though since he has to get the trailer first." Shizuru said to Natsuki who seemed to be completely absent-minded by now.

"Thanks." was the only response from the other girl. Curious about the reason of the distraction, Shizuru followed the gaze of the emerald eyes, finding herself just as stunned in the next second. The sun was already setting. Its rays illuminated the ocean with a warm and comforting orange, glittering like a thousand diamonds as they broke on the surface of the deep blue. None of them dared to speak a word while the bright light was slowly melting with the horizon. The crashing waves accompanied by sounds of the birds seemed to be the perfect music for the indescribable sight in front of them. They both walked over to the edge of the cliff to bring themselves closer to the peaceful scenery. When Shizuru turned her head towards the raven-haired girl she once more found the melancholic expression in those remarkable green eyes. But this time she could also see contentment. A light smile crossed her lips as she took in the soft features of the other girl. She almost looked fragile in the warm light of the setting sun.

"You like it, right?" Shizuru was almost whispering as if afraid to destroy the atmosphere.

"It's beautiful." The contemplative look slowly lightened up a bit.

"It is…"

"I didn't know such a place like this existed here." Natsuki's voice sounded dreamy, and somehow Shizuru liked it very much.

"I've never been here before either."

"I thought you lived close by." The biker girl turned around with a puzzled look on her face.

"Well, yes. I passed by a lot but I never took the time to take a closer look before. Although I always intended to…"

"I can hardly imagine that something that stunning can go unnoticed." She said, while turning her green eyes back at the horizon.

"Not unnoticed. I did notice it. A lot actually… but I somehow was always too busy with every-day life. Doing the things normal students do. Like studying or going to bars and parties. But now that I am here I have no idea why I didn't listen to my intention earlier. I'm glad I finally realized what a wonderful place this is. Thank you."

"Guess we have to thank my broken bike." They both chuckled before Natsuki got a serious look again as she added: "Sometimes the most beautiful things are in front of our eyes, and we don't even notice because we're either too busy or too afraid to take a closer look."

Shizuru tore her gaze away from the raven-haired beauty back to the last rays of sunlight. A quotation came to her head as she thought about their conversation a little longer. "The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes..."

"… but in having new eyes." Natsuki tossed in, completing the sentence.

"You know Marcel Proust?" The Kyoto-girl was obviously surprised.

"I'm studying literature too. Remember?" Natsuki said with in a cool tone. The chestnut-haired girl smiled over the response. "It's nice to share this with you. Maybe I'll pay better attention to what's right in front of my eyes from now on." She said, having her eyes once more focused on the raven-haired girl.

The horn of Reito's car tore them both snap out of their reverie in shock.

"I heard two beautiful girls are in trouble. Don't worry ladies your men are here to rescue you." He said with a bright smile. Shizuru waved at him and Takeda who was also sitting in the car before she locked her gaze with Natsuki again.

"Shall we?" She asked the silent girl in a low voice.

Natsuki once more turned around and faced the ocean. She nodded lightly before she started to walk towards the car to greet Takeda and Reito. Shizuru followed her and was greeted with a passionate kiss. When she opened her eyes again, she saw that. Natsuki was looking at them, but quickly turned away after they had broken the kiss.

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><p><strong>AN:** Okay guys, I came down from the megalomania. But still it's odd that the story alerts are increasing whereas the reviews are decreasing. I still have the slight hope to hit the 100 reviews with this chapter but that'll only work if you keep reviewing like in the first and second chapter. If you don't feel like reviewing, I hope that you at least like the story so far. It took me a while to write this chapter since it's a longer one. I guess two days or so, maybe you can sacrifices two minutes from your time to let me know if you liked it =)


	5. Ropeway

"_**What do you do when all of a sudden you stop feeling close to the person you are used to feeling close to?"**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**_**  
><strong>_

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of this story.****The rest is mine though ;-)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 5 – Ropeway<strong>

The first rays of sunlight fought their way through the blinds, illuminating the half-dark of the bedroom. Countless birds, which had been awake for hours, were twittering and whistling in the trees, in front of the extravagant apartment complex. It could have been the perfect morning, if the annoying peeping sound of Reito's mobile hadn't disturbed the two lovers in their slumber. Half asleep the boy shifted his weight to the edge of the bed to reach for his phone. After listening to the much too noisy voice of his best friend, he finally managed to find his voice.

"Sorry Takeda, I don't have time." He stated after taking a look at the clock. "My classes are starting in a bit and I need to get ready." His voice sounded husky, and he started searching for a bottle of water that was usually standing next to the bed. The sound of the cool liquid being gulped down his sore throat broke the static of the line before Takeda sighed.

"Could you hand the phone over to Shizuru then, please?" The voice on the other end pleaded.

"Why do you think I'm with her?" A fake sound of innocence accompanied the counter question.

"Because unfortunately I am your best friend, and I know you too well plus you aren't on your way to university yet, therefore, 'get ready' usually means 'get dressed'."

"Okay, you got me." Reito said with a kinky grin before he handed the phone over to the girl that was covered under the white satin blanket, while the chestnut hair was scattering over the pillow. "Hon, Takeda wants a word with you." The boy said with a serious voice.

"What is it?" The crimson eyes suddenly shot wide open.

"He's worried that Natsuki likes you more than him."

"What?" Her jaw dropped in panic, and in less than a second she had brought herself into an upright position.

"Easy, darling. I'm joking. Since when do you get tricked so easily." Reito couldn't suppress a chuckle when he saw his girlfriend being so confused over one of his jokes.

"Ara, it's early in the morning. I wasn't fully awake." Shizuru replied much calmer while she smiled the rest of her nervousness away. _Maybe it has something to do with hormones. I've read they are basically to blame for everything. I should probably get a doctor's appointment to see if everything's okay with me. I feel a bit out of it lately…_

"Well, you were pretty much awake a few hours ago…" The naughty grin of her boyfriend left no doubts to what he was referring, but right now she had no idea how to cope with it. The comment about Natsuki was still occupying her head. "I remember your face quite well as…" When Reito went on, she finally brought her attention back to him, still not knowing what to say. Luckily Takeda cut off the topic and saved her from bothering with finding an appropriate response. "I'm still on the phone you know. Could you please cut it out?!" The voice of the spiky-haired friend was more than annoyed by now.

"Sorry, pal." Reito apologized before finally handing the phone over to Shizuru.

"Good morning Takeda."

"Good morning Shizuru. When are your classes starting today?"

"I don't have classes today. English only starts next week."

"Great! Would you mind taking Natsuki to the mechanic? She keeps saying she can do it on her own, but I don't want her to have to look for the shop all by herself. After all, she's still new in the city. I would do it myself but I have a Kendo tournament today." Without even thinking the answer came out of Shizuru's mouth.

"Sure. Where should I pick her up?"

"I'll send you a text with her address in a bit. Thanks a bunch." Takeda bowed at the other end of the line in relief, although no one could see the gesture.

"No problem." By the last syllable her voice suddenly became slightly high-pitched, and she shot a death-glare at her much too eager boyfriend.

"Bye. And tell Reito to stop doing such stuff when I'm talking to you." It sounded as if it was useless to say, but still Shizuru felt a bit embarrassed.

"Ara ara, you really know him too well. Bye." She said apologetically before she shifted her attention back at Reito, who was still sliding his hand up her ribcage. "You heard your friend sweetheart."

"Since when do I listen to Takeda?"

"Maybe you should start. After all, he managed to catch quite a beauty." Laying her hand on the Reito's made him stop his movement for a while. Shizuru used the chance to wrap one of the blankets around her body.

"Not yet." He said while bringing some space between them to have a better look at the crimson-eyed girl's face.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Shizuru didn't exactly know why, but somehow she was curious about the situation between their friend Takeda and Natsuki. To be honest, she didn't really have a clue if they were already a couple.

"Takeda told me that he wasn't brave enough to take the first step by now." Reito explained with a hint of scorn.

"But they're already dating for some weeks aren't they?"

"Yes, I know. He's such an idiot. I might talk some sense into him. But for now, I would rather occupy myself with you a little longer." The naughty grin came back as he fumbled his hand under the blanket again.

"Sorry, I've got to get ready to pick Natsuki up." Not knowing why she would cut off Reito so abruptly, Shizuru just brushed off his hand and rose up with the blanket tightly wrapped around her body.

"You two are getting along quite well, aren't you?" The boy said, sounding a bit disappointed.

"Yeah, she's nice." Not wanting to give the comment any more thought than necessary, she kept her answer plain as she turned around to walk off to the bathroom.

"To me, she seems more like a rather… well, boring individual."

"Boring?" Hearing the comment, the Kyoto-girl suddenly stopped dead in her tracks.

"She barely says anything or shows any emotions. I'm starting to doubt that she has any." Shizuru certainly was at a loss for words right now. She didn't exactly know why, but the words of Reito pissed her off. Not really wanting to start a fight over a thing she couldn't explain, she took the only choice and left.

"What are you doing?" came the questioning voice instantly.

"I'm getting dressed." She tried to conceal her anger, but over the years, Reito had learned to read her from time to time.

"Are you mad?"

"No, I just think that you're being superficial."

"You're really not a morning person." He sighed and let himself fall on his back again.

"It's not about that."

"Then what is it about?"

The chestnut-girl only shot a death-glare towards the clueless boy but kept quiet.

"Look…" Reito started, trying to explain himself. "I'm just feeling sorry for Takeda. He's really trying."

"Maybe she needs a bit more time. We don't know anything about her at all." The crimson eyes settled down a bit, already feeling sorry for insulting Reito.

"Alright, I got it. You really like her. You always had a thing for lost little girls. That's why you were such a good student-council president back then. I'm sorry for being rude. I'm sure she's a nice girl. Maybe you can talk to her and encourage her to give it a go with Takeda." The words had quite the impact on her. She could feel her stomach crumbling and she instinctively covered it with her left arm.

"Err… yes. I'll try." She muttered before she turned around quickly.

"Good, then it's settled. I'll talk to Takeda and you'll talk to Natsuki. I'm sure it'll be a piece of cake for the two of us to hook them up." His tone was jubilant as he jumped up before placing a kiss on her cheek. "I love you." He whispered into the crimson-eyed beauty's ear before he went into the bathroom, leaving a speechless Kyoto-girl behind.

While driving down the main road, Shizuru paid close attention to the instructions Takeda had sent her. Natsuki's apartment was in an area of the town where Shizuru had never been before. When she turned into the street that was written down as the destination, she was sure that either she had gotten lost or that Takeda must have given her the wrong directions.

She slowed down her pace and looked around with irritated eyes. It was nothing like she had imaged it. She thought of an apartment complex or at least something that would fit the needs of an average college student, but nothing that would have matched her expectations was here. It looked nothing like the city, more like a suburb. There were no apartments at all, only houses.

_Houses… like family houses… Don't tell me she's still living with her parents. Or maybe she already has a family. No way…_

Shizuru parked the car in the driveway of the house that carried the supposed right number. Not really sure, if she should get out to ring the doorbell, the girl took a moment to once more take in her surroundings. She could see children playing down the street while two older women were chit-chatting in the front yard of the neighbor house, sending curious glances towards her. Not wanting to draw any more attention by lingering in the car in front of the light blue painted house, she finally got over her doubts and suspicions and got over to the front door. She tried to take a look inside through one of the windows, but the blinds were blocking her view and keeping her from satisfying her curiosity. The ring of the doorbell was immediately followed by loud barking clearly coming from inside.

_A dog… She has a dog? Or maybe her family… I really don't know anything at all. That girl is a complete mystery to me…_

The door opened right after the barking became silent.

"Hello, Natsuki." She said before the beauty of the emerald eyed girl floored her once again.

"Hi." came the slightly unfriendly response.

Shizuru coughed as she was feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Takeda asked me to drive you to the shop." She explained, trying to look cheerful instead of irritated.

"I know. I told him I didn't need a babysitter."

"Ara, but you sure would look cute in a babygrow."_What the… why am I stating such nonsense… _Already mentally scolding herself, Natsuki snapped back at her even more annoyed, but also with a light blush on her cheeks.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Sorry, I had too few hours of sleep." Trying to explain herself, Shizuru couldn't help but look bashfully at the ground.

"Busy night, huh…"

_Now, what's that supposed to mean?!_ Not really knowing how to respond to the ambivalent comment, Shizuru decided not to go into it.

"Well, since I am already here maybe you might reconsider if you want take the offer?" She said without faking her voice this time. She directly looked back into the angry green orbs but this time she held the gaze without faltering. After a few seconds, the girl gave in.

"Fine. Wait a second." Natsuki finally said before going back inside. The door remained half open, and Shizuru could hear the black-haired girl talking to someone, but after she understood the words 'be a good boy and watch the house' she was sure that she was talking to the dog. She tried to peek inside the house a little, but the only thing she could see was a white hallway without any photos or decoration. A moment later Natsuki was back and closed the door, gesturing her to get over to the car.

The drive was mostly silent. Shizuru had no idea how to start a useful conversation. The raven-haired girl seemed to be more grumpy than usual, and it was obvious that she was not up for small talk. And so, she turned the radio louder than necessary in the hopes of lightening the atmosphere a little. When they arrived at the shop, Natsuki got wordlessly out of the car, leaving Shizuru behind like a cab driver. _I better stay in the car until she comes back. She doesn't look like she's up for company today._

Focusing on the door of the bike shop, she was a bit startled when it suddenly was swung open with a loud bang. An even more pissed Natsuki stormed outside of it making her way towards the car. The emerald-eyed girl let out two angry huffs after she got back into the car.

"What's wrong?" Shizuru asked out of reflex.

"They haven't fixed it by now."

"But didn't they say it wasn't that bad."

"Yeah, but they made a checkup and it needs a new filter. They didn't have that type and ordered one. It won't arrive until this afternoon. So my bike won't be ready before 6 pm."

"Six o'clock?"

"Yes…" The face of her opposite sent off a mixture of anger and helplessness.

"And you're making such a grumpy face only because of these few hours?" Shizuru couldn't help but chuckle as she watched the biker-girl pouting like a toddler over something so trivial.

"It's not funny." came the low but still cute response.

"I'm sorry, but you look absolutely adorable when you pout like that."

The raven-haired girl was blushing in all shades of red, but the whole situation did make the mood much lighter than before.

"Do you have classes today, Natsuki?"

"No, English only…"

"… starts next week. I know." Shizuru said, completing the sentence with a smile and added: "So, how about we kill some time together until your bike is ready? I am free."

"Not really…" It was more of a mumble and so Shizuru wasn't quite sure if she had understood the words right. But even if she had heard the girl right, it still didn't make sense to her.

"Sorry?" She said, in the hope of having the other girl repeat her answer, but she wasn't lucky this time.

"Nothing." was the answer Natsuki finally gave away before turning away, and staring outside the window.

"Do you already have plans with Takeda?" Shizuru originally had no intention of bringing him up, but she didn't want the conversation to die away again. "We could invite him too if you want." _I should really go back to my old self, and start thinking before talking. _

"No." came the one-syllabic and cold answer. The awkward moment that followed afterwards seemed to be endless until Natsuki finally broke the silence again. "I mean no, he has a tournament."

"Ah, right. He mentioned something like that on the phone." Shizuru said, waving the misunderstanding off. "Do you have anything in mind that you always wanted to do but never had the chance to?"

The deep green eyes were practically screaming 'a lot' right into her face, and even more into her heart, but the voice of the raven-haired girl only answered with: "Nothing in particular." And just when Shizuru was trying to think of something that would be interesting for the girl in the passenger seat, Natsuki spoke again. "Is there anything you always wanted to do?"

"Yes." The Kyoto-girl answered without giving it a second thought as she was too lost in the oceans of the magnificent emerald in front of her. She somehow felt so drawn to it as if those eyes were magnets.

"What is it?" Natsuki asked, breaking the silence anew.

"A lot of things, but for now… how about 'The Ropeway'?" She didn't know why suddenly this idea popped up in her head, but she didn't mind either. It wasn't a lie. She always wanted to go there for a cable car ride.

"The Ropeway?"

"Yes, there's a cable car over the Thickston River it's called 'The Ropeway'. It's in the suburbs, but I've heard it is high enough to see the skyline of the city. I've always wanted to do this, but Reito isn't good with heights."

"Okay. Then Ropeway it is. Under one condition." Natsuki seemed much more at ease now, and Shizuru was so happy about it that she was willing to fulfill any condition.

"And that is?" She asked full of curiosity, but without a hint of doubt.

"Let's not try to kill time for it ticks away anyway."

Shizuru didn't know what to reply as the lonesome look on the girl's face suddenly was back again, and so she only nodded before she started the engine.

After the girls had arrived safely by the Ropeway they bought a two-way ticket, and they entered one of the little red-painted baskets.

"I've always thought these things were bigger. How are four people supposed to fit in here?" The crimson-eyed beauty noted as she sat down opposite to Natsuki.

"I've hardly seen more than two people entering one since we arrived."

"You're right." She looked around, and, for the first time, she realized that the raven-haired girl was absolutely right.

"Maybe, it's one of those couple things." Natsuki said more to herself than to Shizuru, but still the Kyoto-girl felt as if she should explain herself.

"Yeah." She said, unable to repress a nervous giggle. "I guess. Sorry, for dragging you in."

"No need to apologize. I should be apologizing for my rough behavior earlier."

"It's okay. We all have bad days."

As the girls were almost halfway there, a strange screeching could be heard. It got louder within a second and suddenly all the baskets stopped.

"What happened?" Shizuru said to no one in particular and was immediately answered with a loudspeaker announcement:

'We're experiencing technical difficulties at the moment. Please stay calm. We'll fix the problem as soon as possible.'

"Looks like our lucky day." Shizuru said with a reassuring smile towards Natsuki.

"How do you do that?"

"What?"

"Be so cheerful all the time." Somehow the features of the raven-haired girl's face had become sad again, and Shizuru couldn't help but think it had something to do with her being overly cheerful around the silent girl.

"I don't know. It has become somehow natural I guess. After being student-council for so long and listening to the problems of teenagers, you learn to hide your emotions in order to cheer people up. But to be honest, I don't mind being stuck here with you."

"I see." Natsuki said and turned her gaze towards the horizon. "You don't have to do that around me. Don't be an actor. Just be yourself. You're much more beautiful that way." The words sent a shiver down Shizuru's spine. The rapid beating of her heart made it hard to concentrate on finding an appropriate way to go on.

"And you? You aren't as cold and one-syllabic as you act either." She said hoping to not scare the girl away.

"What makes you think that?"

"Your eyes…Burning eyes that seem to tear up the world. They are full of emotions."

A light smile crossed the raven-haired girl's lips, and although Shizuru didn't know what it meant she was happy about it. Not wanting to let the conversation die away, she added: "Was that your dog this morning?"

"Yes. Duran has been my best friend for the last years. I'm sorry that he barked at you. He's not good with strangers."

"Just like his owner." Shizuru chuckled.

"I guess you're right." Natsuki said almost apologetically. "Most people are simply unlikeable. I've barely met anyone who isn't a complete idiot."

"The college must be lovely for you then since it's full of them."

"I have to say the students I've met so far are not particularly on my list of favorite people… but you are." While voicing the last words, Natsuki had caught the gaze of Shizuru again. They were staring into each other's eyes for quite some time until suddenly the text message tone of Shizuru's mobile broke the magic of that moment. Natsuki shifted her gaze back to the sky while Shizuru searched for her phone.

'I've talked to Takeda. Plan is set in motion. He will ask Natsuki out for dinner tomorrow, and then he'll go with the classic first-kiss-in-front-of-the-door-kiss. Now, it's your turn. I'm counting on you. Love you. Reito'

"I guess we're sharing another sunset together." Natsuki said after Shizuru had put the disturbance back in her pocket. "Thank you for bringing me here, and for showing me two beautiful sunsets in such a short time. I had almost forgotten the warmth of it." And just when the crimson-eyed beauty wanted to reply something to this, Natsuki's phone went off. The girl looked on the display and then back to her.

"It's Takeda."

_Of course, he's probably going to ask her out for tomorrow. _"Go ahead." Shizuru said, trying not to give away that she already knew what it was about.

The conversation didn't last long, and Shizuru only paid attention to the important parts. "Okay, if you insist. I'll pick you up at eight then. Bye." Natsuki said before flipping the phone shut.

"Date?" The chestnut-haired girl asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Seems so." The tone wasn't excited at all, and Shizuru still had no idea what to make of the relationship of those two.

"Can I ask you something?" She said, not really knowing where she was aiming.

"Don't worry. I am not planning to hurt Takeda or anything."

"Do you like him?" The other girl took quite a while to answer the question. But when she started talking her eyes lost a bit of their loneliness for a second.

"He is an idiot. But actually, a very nice and caring idiot." A smile followed the words, and somehow it seemed as if Natsuki did really care about that clumsy guy. Shizuru knew she should be happy, but somehow she just felt a strange emptiness in her guts.

"So, are you in love with him?" Her voice was sounding dull, and she already hated herself for the question, but before her opposite could answer, the screeching suddenly came back even louder than before, and in the next moment, the baskets started moving again. The right moment was left behind halfway on the ropeway along with their solitary moment of bliss and containment. Natsuki didn't bother to answer, and Shizuru didn't find the courage to bring up the topic again, and so they sat down silently for the rest of the ride, watching as the sun hid behind the earth in a vortex of burning red.

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><p><strong>AN:** Here's your tuesday update =) and it's a long chapter again. Thank you guys for reviewing and helping me in getting the 100 reviews within the last chapter. I am really glad you like this story so much. I hope you also did enjoy this chapter. Let me know if you do, and if you don't let me know what sucked. Oh right, yesterday was Shizuru's birthday. Happy Birthday Kaichou-sama =)

I know that this story is not as fast as people want it to be and that scences between Reito and Shizuru are probably not what you want to read, but in order to have a well told story and character development, the story needs all of it. It's not like two strangers meet, fall in love and get it over with, things like feelings (especially realizing it is for the same gender) take time, and that's what I am trying to capture in this story. So bare with me and the slow development. It'll be worth it. Haste makes waste.


	6. Completely Incomplete

"_**Maybe I'm too scared to tell you what I'm really thinking."**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**_**  
><strong>_

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Mai HiME.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6 – Completely Incomplete<strong>

_The opaque obscurity in front of me was torn apart by a strong beam of light. I blinked to help my eyes get used to the brightness. The new found light revealed a slender figure that stood firm against the black and white of my vision. I walked towards the shadow, and was immediately pinned to the ground by torn green eyes. I don't know why, but I felt completely transparent under her gaze. A feeling I've never had before in my life. I used to have people believe what I wanted them to believe, but to stand here in front of somebody I barely know, staring me down as if she knows everything about me made me angry. How dare she intrude upon my feelings just like that without even being a part of my life. I wanted to confront her with my anger, but my voice was rebelling against my mind. 'What are you looking at?' I asked almost shyly, but the beautiful emerald eyes just kept staring back at me without answering my insecurity. How can eyes alone be so distractive and magnetic at the same time? The swirling emotions inside of them seem to scream right out for me, telling me to come closer. The simple desire to pull her into my arms, to stroke her silky dark hair and tell her that everything will be okay, that she doesn't have to suffer anymore and that she can tell me anything eats me up is overwhelming. But where do these thoughts come from? Am I imagining things? Nobody seems to notice anything special about her. She appears to be one of those strong girls who don't like company, but somehow I'm not buying it. Somehow it feels like there is much more behind those beautiful but sealed lips. Why won't she answer me? Why does she wordlessly keep staring at me? 'Natsuki…' I whisper as I bring myself closer to her. She doesn't move. She keeps standing still, looking right through me. 'Am I crazy? Why can't I tear my eyes away from yours?' It seems as if I can't keep my mouth shut. I already regret saying my thoughts out loud, and I start to doubt that she can understand me at all. It pains me to watch her, standing there all alone in the dark. The moment seems to linger for much too long when suddenly her body weight shifted. She took a step towards me, reaching me within the blink of an eye. Her face suddenly was only inches away from mine. I could feel her warm breath upon my lips. Nothing more than thin air and sanity kept our lips from touching what they desired. I held my breath for I was afraid that my heart might jump out of my breast if my lungs kept speeding up its pace. But when her lips touched mine, I lost every sense of logic. My head became dizzy in an instant, and if it weren't for her embracing me with all her might, I would have sunk down to the ground as my knees gave in to the overflow of emotions. The heat rushed to my head like a firework, exploding inside of my mouth when her tongue started to caress mine. The kiss wasn't shy or fierce, it was just perfect. It felt as if we were melting into each other. Only when we realized that we both weren't able to break it, the kissing got more passionate. Still surrounded by darkness while in the middle of a spot of light, I slowly let myself sink down on my back, pulling the raven-haired beauty down to ground with me, keeping our lips locked. She positioned herself on top of me, parting my legs with her knee. The light pressure on my pelvis aroused me even more and I could feel my face flushing. I stroked up and down her back, slowly bringing my hands closer to her ribcage. She did the same as I could feel her burning touch through the fabric of clothes. I couldn't repress a gulp when she lightly brushed over the side of my breast. I could feel her lightly smiling as the corner of her lips crinkled. Just when I had gotten a bit more comfortable with the movement of her hand over my upper-body, she started to wander south..._

"Gnhhh…" Hearing her own voice eventually made Shizuru open her eyes. Being completely disoriented, the girl needed some time to realize that she was lying in her bed barely dressed. She turned her head to the left, and was instantly greeted with the kinkiest smile Reito had to offer.

"That must have been a very good dream…" He said grinning even wider. "Why not continue where we left off in the dream? You just have to tell me what I've been doing to you in your little fantasy world, and I'll send you back to dreamland in no time."

Shizuru needed some seconds to realize what he was talking about before the memory hit her head like a train. Her heartbeat sped up again and her mind told her to answer something witty as quick as possible for concealing her guilty conscious, but the lump in her throat kept her lips sealed.

_Oh my god… Did I really just dream about her? I haven't seen her or talked to her for days… And then I dream of her in… that way… _

Reito could sense that his girlfriend was feeling uneasy, and spoke out what Shizuru wanted to avoid.

"Don't tell me you've dreamed of someone else." He made his voice sound much more shocked than he actually was. After all, it was just a dream.

"No! I mean no, actually it was more like a nightmare." She didn't know why, but denying that Natsuki was the one in her dreams didn't make her feel better at all.

_The worst thing is that it felt so good… I need that doctor's appointment!_

Feeling the blush on her face, she wasn't sure if the boy would buy her lame excuse, but as two arms were cradled around her waist she was able to relax a little.

"Poor girl. Next time you'll hopefully dream of something better." He said as he pulled the Kyoto-beauty in before adding: "I've got good news for you though. Something that might light up your mood after a nightmarish night."

"What is it?" Her heartbeat slowly started to go back to normal.

"Your magic seems to have worked. Takeda told me yesterday that he worked things out with Natsuki. They had their dinner and on their way home Takeda took his courage in both hands and kissed her. I guess we finally can start 'couple activities'. Isn't that great?" Shizuru could see that Reito was truly happy for their friend, and seeing this made her even more thoughtful. Why wasn't she overflowing with joy and happiness? Takeda was a good friend and she also cared about Natsuki, but hearing the news, and more so imagining the kiss made her heart feel heavy. It was even tough to force a fake smile to her lips. But after she managed to control her face along with her voice she finally lied:

"That really is great. I'm happy for them." All of those words felt so completely wrong coming from her mouth, but she didn't want to allow any more strange thoughts crawling into her mind. _I am already strange enough. It's a great thing that those two finally found each other. I hope Takeda that idiot doesn't do anything stupid._

"See, I told you it would let you forget your nightmare." Reito said with a genuine smile.

"You're right." The lies fell out of her mouth so easily, she couldn't even tell the difference anymore. "I love you." She added, not really knowing if she just said it because it seemed to help her convince herself that she did no wrong. Though, even this familiar phrase made Shizuru feel guilty under the shadow of her dream that was still hovering above her thoughts.

Shizuru didn't really know why she came to university today. There were no classes for her to attend, but when Reito had asked her after the embarrassing wake-up call this morning if he should take her to campus she just couldn't say no. She felt obligated to spend as much time as possible with him. '_After all, I haven't paid much attention to his needs lately. I should really be more empathic_' were the main thoughts that kept her mind occupied. Not really knowing what this strange mixture of guilt and anxiety triggered, she strayed aimlessly through the hallways of the philosophy building. Reito had classes and she told him that she would wait for him. But now that she was alone with her thoughts the Kyoto-beauty had to admit that the plan of distracting herself didn't really work. At home, it sounded like a bright idea to come here with him to avoid being captured in confusing thoughts, yet it seemed as if it wasn't a matter of location after all. As the thoughts of her dream combined with the news that Takeda had finally managed to be brave for once gave her a headache. The noisy students didn't help much, so she wandered towards the most silent place she could think of.

The library had always been one of her favorite spots. The smell of books and the serenity let her forget the world outside for a moment. All the words that told stories of the world as it was, as it may be and as it'll never be gave her solace in times where her mind seemed to hit a wall. Today obviously was one of those days, and she was glad that the reading hall was almost empty.

Walking around the bookshelves, the chestnut-haired girl took out one of the books now and then. She opened one or two just to flip through them for a bit. Only touching the pages kept her heart beating steady.

"Finally something that feels normal…" She silently whispered to herself as she closed her eyes, feeling completely comfortable with an old book pressed against her chest.

"You're a fan of Oscar Wilde?"

The voice instantly set her nerves on alert. She knew exactly to whom the words belonged, although she wasn't completely sure that her mind wasn't playing tricks on her. Still keeping her eyes closed to escape the obvious a little longer, the images of her dream suddenly kicked in_. Oh no! This place was supposed to be my sacred haven… Why she of all people?_

There was no doubt that she had to open her eyes and face reality sooner or later, and so she finally gave up the stupid refuge inside her eyelids. Of course, she found herself drawn to the deep green orbs once again, but this time she was mentally prepared and was quick to look away before she got lost. She put the book back in the shelf, and put on her all day smile.

"Ara, what a surprise to meet Natsuki here." She mentally scolded herself for her overly cheerful voice, but decided that it wouldn't help her to think even harder about how to act and what to say. Natsuki noticed the distant reaction and instinctively took a step backward.

"I wanted to borrow some books for homework. In fact, I wanted the book you just put back." Her voice was cold and serious, not a glimpse of joy in her eyes.

_What is wrong with her? I thought she finally figured things out with Takeda? _

"I hope you manage to give Takeda some of your working attitude. He could really use some tutoring, now that you two are so… close." _I am crazy. There's no doubt about it._ Another smile came with the statement. It was as if she had no control over her facial expression when the raven-haired girl was around.

"What makes you think that?"

"Reito told me that you're officially a couple now. It's great, isn't it?"

"I guess." came the short reply, before the green-eyed beauty turned around to make her leave.

_I wonder if I could be any more idiotic…_ "Natsuki, wait." Shizuru said a little louder than necessary and got immediately scolded with a 'hush' from the librarian. She bowed as an excuse, and then grabbed the book she had in her hands earlier. "Here's the book you were looking for." She said with an apologetic gaze as the other girl turned around with a skeptical look on her face.

"I see. Thank you." The words were barely audible. It sounded almost sad, if it was even possible to tell from such a short phrase. Not knowing what to say or do, Shizuru handed the book over to Natsuki. The girl hesitated at first, but finally took the offered item. A jolt of electricity floated through the chestnut-haired girl's body when the fingertips of Natsuki lightly touched her hand. The little brush seemed to be enough to trigger another flood of images in her mind, but it also made it even harder for her to just let the girl go. "I'm sorry. If I was jumping to conclusions…" Her voice changed as honesty swung in her words, and it seemed to reach the biker-girl this time. "… so, you like Oscar Wilde, too." It was more like a question than a statement, and luckily it seemed to break the tenseness of the situation.

"I think 'De Profundis' is a great work." The girl said still serious, yet she seemed to be a bit more at ease.

"I also like it very much."

"Didn't you originally want to borrow it?" Natsuki asked, making ready to return the just received treasure.

"Me? No, it's okay. I've all of his works at home."

"I see." A light smile crossed the raven-haired girl's face as she pressed the book against her chest, just like Shizuru did a moment ago.

"If you need any other works of him feel free to ask." She offered, returning the honest smile.

"I will. Thanks." The conversation was about to die away, when Shizuru took the initiative to keep it going. She wasn't really ready to let the girl walk away. After all, she hadn't seen her for days.

"You said something about homework… So early in the semester?"

"It's for a class I want to attend by all means. It's about modern literature." Although Shizuru already knew the answer, she still needed to make sure.

"The class of Mrs. Bradstone?" She asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"You know her?"

"Well, she's quite famous, plus I'm attending that class too."

"Oh… I didn't know. You should know about the homework then, right?" The green-eyed girl seemed to feel a little uncomfortable by hearing the news, but it couldn't compete with Shizuru's embarrassment about not knowing of the supposed homework.

"I guess I kind of missed the start of the semester. I am used to the fact that English usually starts a week later. What do we have to do?" Trying to conceal her failure, she started skimming through the book titles in the shelf.

"Write a poem."

"What?" The news made her stop her movement immediately.

"Yes, I know. I feel a bit swamped too. That's why I'm looking for some inspiration." Natsuki said, while holding up the book.

"Oh my, I better cancel the class…" The Kyoto-beauty let her head sink in defeat.

"Don't be silly. It was quite difficult to get in. What about doing it together? Maybe we can help each other." Not knowing what to think of the offer, Shizuru didn't answer directly.

"If it's okay with you…"

"I wouldn't have asked if it wasn't." Natsuki said bluntly.

"You're right. I'm not used to such honesty."

"Tell me something I don't know." The cool response made Shizuru again lose her composure. It seemed impossible to be her over conscious self in front of the biker girl.

"Let's go sit at the tables in the working room over there." was the only thing that the chestnut-haired girl managed to respond in the current situation, and so they wordlessly left the reading room.

After they had sat down, the atmosphere seemed to ease up a little. After a few minutes, they were able to move on to a fun chit-chat about literature. The deeper they got into the topic the more Shizuru became fascinated with Natsuki's taste in authors. She couldn't remember the last time she had such a light-hearted and intelligent conversation without having to fake any smiles.

"Hello sweetheart." The serious deep voice cut through the conversation like a knife, and startled as she was, Shizuru did not know what to reply other than: "What are you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too. I was waiting for you at the car, but it seems you've better things to do." Reito said politely, but still with a hint of anger. The Kyoto-girl looked at her watch, and was shocked at how time had flown by. "I'm sorry. I didn't notice that it was already so late. Natsuki and I got caught up in a conversation. She has great taste in literature."

"Well that's great, but you could have at least sent me a text or something." He said, still not very happy about the whole situation.

"I'm sorry, but I just got informed that we have to do homework for Mrs. Bradstone's class."

"Alright." He sighed when he saw that his girlfriend actually was in a better mood than this morning. "I wasn't really mad. Just a tad worried, but after all, I know where to find you." He smiled before kissing her to assure that everything was fine. After Shizuru broke the kiss, and gave him a look that they weren't alone Reito quickly turned his head. "Hello Natsuki, I'm sorry it was a bit impolite not to say a proper 'hello' earlier, by the way… Congratulations on your hooking up with Takeda."

"Reito, it isn't…" Shizuru tossed in, trying to stop Reito from angering Natsuki anew about that topic, but before she could finish her sentence Natsuki cut her off.

"Thank you. It was about time. He's such a gentleman." She said with a much friendlier voice than usual. The chestnut-haired girl had troubles keeping her jaw from dropping when she heard the girlish words coming out of the serious girl's mouth. Not wanting to lose composure she gulped down all her questions and suspicions in a whole. The lump in her throat from this morning seemed to be back, even huger this time.

"Isn't that great, darling?" Reito said with a conspiratorial look on his face.

"Yes…" Shizuru could only mutter in defeat and disbelief.

"Would you like to come to the lake this Saturday? Takeda and I got invited by some friends, and we would feel honored to have our beautiful ladies with us." He offered one of his charming smiles that usually worked magic when it came to women. Of course, Natsuki wasn't so easy to impress, and so she didn't look too thrilled about the idea.

"I don't know… I still have to get this homework done." It sounded more like an excuse than an answer. Reito seemed to notice it too, and didn't let her off the hook.

"Don't be silly enough to miss the opportunity to show yourself to the world in a bikini." He pursued while adding a wink that was rewarded with a death-glare by Shizuru. "Ouch. I mean… I'm sure you and Shizuru are bright enough to get the homework done together. It's alright if she comes over to do the homework with you on Sunday, right sweetheart?" When Reito forced the persuasion onto Shizuru, she did feel obligated to take over the conversation.

"If it's okay with you…" She started, trying to give the raven-haired girl some room to decide what she wanted to do on her own without feeling pressured.

"Okay…" Finally giving in, Natsuki was back to her usual slightly annoyed tone. Reito was happy that things seemed to work out just fine, and also silently looked forward to getting the chance to see all of the qualities Takeda's new girlfriend had to offer. Of course, he would never tell Shizuru about that.

"Fine. Then it's settled." He said joyful as ever before focusing his attention on Shizuru again. "I just hope the other guys won't give you anymore weird thoughts." He couldn't repress a light chuckle as he could see Shizuru's eyebrow twitch. Natsuki silently observed the cold war while giving away a questioning look. Reito noticed the interest and turned towards the biker-girl again. Pretending to whisper he bent over and brought a hand to his mouth to shield the words from finding Shizuru's ears, but of course the Kyoto-girl understood every word. "You have to know that Shizuru's not as cute as she acts. In fact, she's really evil. She had quite a naughty dream this morning, and just when I thought we could catch up where we had left off in the dream, I had to find out that it was about someone else." He faked a little sob before bending back.

"Have you ever heard of privacy? I told you it was a nightmare!" Shizuru said while sending over another death glare, but Reito only grinned. When the chestnut-haired girl tore her gaze away from her lover, unable to stand the embarrassing talk any longer her eyes were caught by the most intense look Natsuki had ever given her. It was a mixture of answers and questions, and even if it was impossible that the raven-haired girl could have any idea what the dream was about it felt as if she knew every detail of it. The thought alone was enough to make Shizuru's heartbeat unsteady again.

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><p><strong>AN:** I wanted to upload this chapter before the year is over and here it is. I hope you've all enjoyed it. The dream sequence is a little foretaste of what is to come in later chapters. So no complaints about pacing anymore ;-) If you wanna give me and all the other authors(I've seen a lot of new and updated stories online) a late christmas present take your time and leave a review. I always like to hear your guesses and opinions. I'm looking forward to get a lot of gifts from you ;-) See you next year


	7. Lake

"_**Yes, I'm stupid enough to fall for you, but you're cruel enough to let me."**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**_**  
><strong>_

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7 – Lake<strong>

The lake laid in perfect silence when the young adults arrived at the west bank. Two boys of the group stormed ahead as if the water was some sort of finish line. A girl with red-hair and an enviable breast-size climbed out of the car, shaking her head in disbelief as she looked after the guy with blonde hair.

"Yuuichi is full of energy, isn't he Mai-chan?" Shizuru said with an amused grin.

"He's his usual idiotic self. I bet he starts shivering and whining as soon as he put a toe in the water." Mai replied with a sigh.

"I know what you mean. Look at Kazu-kun." A girl with brown hair and honey-colored eyes tossed in. "He and Tate always act like twins." She pointed at the two figures that were standing in front of the ephemeral blue water, tip toeing up and down as an obvious sign of their uneasiness whether to jump in or not. "Ne Takeda, you are his captain. Can't you beat some sense into him during Kendo practice?" The busty girl shook her head in an annoyed manner. "Leaving us behind with all the stuff that needs to be carried."

"Don't worry, Akane. Reito and I will carry the heavy stuff. You girls can take care of the food." Takeda said with arms akimbo.

"Oh, look at our brave gentleman here." Reito said sarcastically. "Acting up while your precious girlfriend isn't around." He grinned at his already embarrassed friend, and whispered: "I bet she's the one who wears the pants in your relationship…"

"Shut up!" Takeda's face became beet red, but luckily Mai had mercy and stopped the conversation with a question. "Speaking of which, where is she?"

"She should be here any minute. She had something to do, and wanted to get here by herself." Just when the spiky-headed boy had finished the sentence, the roar of an engine could be heard in the distance. Takeda's face lit up when he saw the familiar silhouette from afar.

"Wow, quite a show-off isn't she?" Mai mumbled to Shizuru and Akane. The chestnut-haired girl didn't reply as her gaze was fixated on the motorcycle that paced towards the group. In the corner of her eye, she could see Takeda's dreamy eyes. He was completely head over heels for the raven-haired beauty, and Shizuru suddenly felt stupid by watching Natsuki descend from her bike. She averted her gaze from the green eyes after the biker-girl had taken off her helmet, and got herself busy with fetching some of the food, beverages, and bottles from the car.

"Hello Natsuki. I'm glad you found us." Reito greeted with a polite smiled while waving.

"Takeda gave me the directions. Although I had trouble reading his ugly handwriting." She replied with a hint of sarcasm, which sounded somehow odd combined with the husky voice.

"Yeah, I know. His handwriting is the worst." Reito nodded with fake seriousness.

"Oi, I'm still here." Both turned their attention towards the angry boy, who now felt put on the spot. "Anyhow, this is Mai Tokiha and Akane Hirugashi. They are old school friends of ours. Mai, Akane, this is Natsuki Kuga." His voice sounded so proud it was almost funny. After the girls had exchanged an amused glance, they went over to introduce themselves properly.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you Kuga-san." The red-head said while holding out her hand.

"Natsuki is fine."

"Well then call me Mai."

"Hello, I'm Akane." The other one quickly added, not wanting to be left out of the introduction ceremony, but before the two curious girls could pelt the biker-girl with questions a loud whistle disturbed them, followed by some shouting.

"I can't understand a word." The annoyance in the voice of the busty girl was back as she turned her head to see her boyfriend Yuichi along with Kazuya waving at them excitedly.

"Let's go over there, shall we?" Shizuru tossed in with her usual melodic sing-song voice. She smiled in the round of people, trying not to look at someone in particular, but her gaze got caught for a second as it passed the emerald eyes. Gulping the uneasiness away, she turned around, and started walking towards the waterside.

Reito, Shizuru and Takeda had discovered the hidden location on a sunny afternoon in April, and over the year it has become the most visited place of the posse. The signs that read 'Danger' and 'No Trespassing' put aside, this was probably the most beautiful place around town if the beach didn't count. As expected, the area around the lake was deserted. Yuuichi and Kazuya who had run off a moment ago were sitting on the sandy ground discussing how cold the water was.

After Mai and Akane had complained about their not very helpful boyfriends, the group slowly started to unpack the stuff they brought. Reito and Takeda were adjusting the brazier while the other two couples went to look for some dry branches for the planned camp fire later. Shizuru tried to keep herself busy with unpacking food and bottles for not wanting to look useless next to Reito. Natsuki was standing by the water, her eyes drifting off to the setting sun. It was a serene image, and Shizuru had a hard time trying not to keep staring at the loner. But as if Natsuki had read her thoughts, the silent girl suddenly turned around and walked over to her.

"Are you okay?" spoke the husky voice while giving her an intense look.

"Me?" Nervousness instantly spread over her body, but she wouldn't make a fool out of herself today. She had promised herself to keep the situation cool, although she was quite a bit uneasy. After all, it was the first time she would see Natsuki and Takeda as a couple. _Did they kiss earlier? I don't think so, but after all I was trying not to pay any attention…_ The voice of the other girl shook her out of her thoughts.

"I mean are you okay with unpacking all the stuff by yourself. I could lend a hand if you want."

"Oh… I'm fine. Just grab a beer and try to relax a little in the sun. I bet it's hot enough in your biker-suit." _… Great! Why not directly ask her to undress! Plan not-making-a-fool-of-yourself failed!_ Natsuki had such an irritated look on her face that Shizuru's urge to correct her sentence shot up to an unhealthy level, but she was too smart to babble even more nonsense, and so she pretended not to be affected by it at all with one of her flawless smiles. After a few seconds of ignoring the presence of her opposite, she was left alone. The raven-haired girl walked away to stand by the water once again, and a moment later a splash could be heard. When Shizuru looked up, she saw the stupid grin of her boyfriend along with Takeda who was grabbing his nose in panic. Natsuki was nowhere to be seen; only the biker suit was lying in the sand.

_She's in the water…_ The chestnut-haired girl thought somehow shocked, although she didn't really know why. She once more looked down on the black colored piece of leather._ That means she didn't wear anything under her suit other than a bikini…_ For a short second Shizuru felt the need to grab her nose too, but before she could question herself why on earth she would do that instead of yelling at Reito for looking after other girls, the others returned with enough wood to keep the planned fire burning all night long.

"Pweh, I'm completely covered in sweat." Mai sighed as she threw the branches down with a sigh.

"Me too. Let's cool ourselves in the water." Akane added. They boys just shouted a 'Yippee' and were off to run into the cool blue.

"Great idea. Are you coming too, Shizuru?"

The Kyoto-girl looked at her friends unsure what to say. Her eyes scanned the water and found Natsuki's head on the surface in the distance. The biker was about to make a turn for swimming back to the shore.

"I'm not done here, but you can go ahead. I'll join you later." She answered with a polite smile.

"Oh come on, we'll help you, and then we can go together. Hopefully Kazu-kun and Yuichi won't be back 'til we finished so that we can have the airbeds." The voice of the brown-haired girl was energetic and worrisome at the same time.

"Are you still afraid of fish, Akane-chan?" Shizuru said with a chuckle.

"I'm not afraid! I just don't particularly like them."

Mai and Shizuru exchanged a smile and started to unpack the rest of their stuff. Just before they finished the two boys came out of the water and went over to Reito and Takeda for sharing a beer, and a smutty smile.

"Perfect timing." Akane whispered relieved as she grabbed one of the two airbeds.

"Are you coming Shizuru?" Mai, who was already standing near the water in her bikini, yelled. Shizuru was still not sure what to do. She went over to the boys and asked Reito if he would want to join her.

"The guys and I are enjoying the first beer of the day right now plus we have to get the tents ready. I might follow you later. For now we will watch our beauties from afar." His eyes were drifting off to the waterside, and also the other boys suddenly seemed to be a little distracted. Takeda's gaze made clear that Natsuki must have come out of the water again, but Shizuru didn't feel ready to turn around.

"Well, I hope you watch the right beauty." Shizuru said in a sarcastic tone.

"Of course, darling." He blew a kiss and with that the Kyoto-beauty turned around. Mai and Akane were already floating on the airbeds. She could see they were talking, but couldn't understand a word. She saw Natsuki wrapped in a towel sitting on the sand close to the water not paying attention to anything but the sky. Shizuru stripped her clothes off, still not feeling completely comfortable. She didn't say a word when she passed the raven-haired girl, but as soon as her feet touched the water she felt as if eyes were burning into her back. Of course, she didn't turn around to make sure for she didn't know how she would react if her feeling turned out to be true.

"Ne Shizuru, are you up for a little race?" Mai suddenly asked out of the blue. The Kyoto-born just gave a questioning look, and of course Mai added the explanation right away. Jumping off the airbed, she got over to the irritated girl and whispered her plan.

"We want to integrate Takeda's girl a little more. Akane and I don't know what to make of her yet, and you've known her a bit longer. We've heard she's up for competitions, and we thought having an airbed race is a good way to ease up the atmosphere." Her purple eyes were shining, probably being completely fond of her idea.

"Sounds like a plan." Was the only thing Shizuru could think of as an answer, and with that Mai turned around nodding towards Akane, who came over with one of the airbeds. "Here. This is for the two of you. I'll go over and ask her."

"For the two of us?" Shizuru mime gave away how startled she actually was.

"Well, we only have two airbeds. So we have to share, and I'm clearly on Akane's team." The crimson eyes got wide in disbelief. "Oh come on, don't give me that look. We're all girls, and you've known her longer than we have. I bet the boys will like it too. I thought you liked her?"

Shizuru only nodded as she could feel her knees becoming weak under the thought of sharing the airbed with Natsuki.

"So, what do I have to do?" The husky voice coming from right behind her only made the uneasiness worse.

"You and Shizuru will have to beat me and Akane in an airbed race." Mai explained with a victorious voice.

"So, we have to share one?" Natsuki voice felt icy in Shizuru's back. She felt completely idiotic, and wanted to get out of the odd situation as fast as possible. And so she just spat her thoughts out loud while swirling around. "I told them it's a stupid idea. I'm sorry I…" When her eyes caught sight of the raven-haired beauty that was now directly standing in front of her only wearing a dark blue bikini, she instantly lost her voice along with her train of thoughts. She couldn't help but stare at the perfect milky hue of the Natsuki's skin. She could see that the girl was not only slender but also very athletic. The muscles of her abdomen and arms were clearly defined, and her legs seemed just as powerful. Shizuru once more let her eyes wander up and down before they got caught by the emerald orbs. Feeling completely embarrassed about her behavior she averted the gaze, but was instantly reminded how odd the situation really was when her eyes met Akane's.

"Alright, I'm in." Natsuki suddenly said before Akane and Mai could say or ask anything about the chestnut-haired girl's supposedly random blushing. It almost felt as if she wanted to spare her any more embarrassment. "Let's go Shizuru." Natsuki said to her now silent opposite.

The boys were watching them with curious eyes, and opened another beer while the girls got ready to start their duel. Shizuru sat down behind Natsuki leaving a comfortable gap between them. She was much more relaxed that way, and in fact, didn't even know why she was behaving so odd earlier. Mai lay prone on the airbed with Akane on top of her. "What kind of technique is that?" Shizuru asked half irritated half teasingly when she saw the two girls in that position, but Akane quickly explained: "You don't think I'd let my feet get eaten by the disgusting fish in the deep water, do you?"

"And besides that Akane and I are pros when it comes to airbed races. This technique is much faster than yours."

"We'll see." Natsuki said with fiery eyes. "I won't lose." She whispered to herself. Shizuru had heard the comment and found the enthusiasm quite cute.

"Ready? Go!" Mai screamed, and with that Akane and Mai started the race with an incredible speed. As much as Shizuru and Natsuki tried to keep up with them it was impossible. Water was splashing all around them but their sitting position really seemed to slow them down as water was waving in and out of the gap between them.

"Screw it!" The raven-haired girl's fist hit the water in anger as she jumped off the mattress. Shizuru followed her act and asked her what they should do now.

"Beat them with their own weapons of course." was Natsuki's answer, and with that she grabbed the airbed and shoved it towards Shizuru. "Lie down!" The raven-haired girl ordered with her gaze fixated on their opponents.

"What?"

"You heard me! We can't afford to waste any more time." Natsuki sounded like a general, but Shizuru wasn't ready to join the army just yet.

"Why are you on top?" As soon as she spoke the words out loud they felt wrong to her, and Natsuki's look only made it worse.

"Because of the obvious facts of course." The raven-haired beauty answered a bit shy while she let her eyes wander over Shizuru's chest, unable to hide a blush.

"Oh nice…" Shizuru mumbled while covering her breasts as if she was offended, although she didn't know why she would feel that way about the comment. She got on the airbed without giving any more backtalk, and as soon as she had found a comfortable position the other girl started to climb up too. Natsuki's soft skin gliding over hers thanks to the slippery mixture of sun cream and water made her stomach tingle. Their bodies seemed to instantly click into each other like Lego pieces when the younger girl was finished adjusting herself. The feeling of Natsuki's breast against her back while strands of the black hair were tickling her shoulders made Shizuru forget why they even were in that position. Only when Natsuki's abdomen muscles started to tense she remembered that they were supposed to win a race. Both started paddling, and were, in fact, a lot faster than before. Still Akane and Mai were already on their way back leaving a victorious grin on their way to the shore. When Shizuru and Natsuki came to the turning point they saw the two girls waving at them already wrapped in a towel. Natsuki stopped the movements of her arms and Shizuru did so a moment later.

"I'm sorry, but that was more exhausting than I'd thought." Shizuru muttered, mentally preparing herself for Natsuki to jump off her being frustrated to no end. Quite the opposite though, the other girl sunk down on Shizuru's back again, letting her arms float in the water.

"It's not your fault. They're pros after all. Next time we'll beat them for sure." A hint of humor seemed to swing in the husky voice, while Shizuru was still trying to catch her breath. A long pause followed where both of them tried to bring their heartbeats back to normal; only the sound of water and the twittering of birds could be heard as they were floating in the middle of the lake. None of them seemed to feel the urge to swim back by now while the cold water and the heat of the sun kept their body temperature at a cozy level. The silence didn't feel uncomfortable at all, but still Shizuru felt the need to say something. She felt stupid for being so cold towards the raven-haired girl earlier, but somehow she couldn't think of a good way to start a conversation. Natsuki's head was contently lying in Shizuru's neck while she watched how the fingers of the raven-haired girl's hand played softly with the water. The hand was delicate although it had a little scar on the palm which didn't look out of place at all. Somehow everything about the girl seemed to be beautiful to her, and all of these thoughts made the silence more and more unbearable. The longer she was left alone inside her mind the more her heartbeat felt unsteady. Every little movement of the body above her seemed to arouse her senses. Every breath the raven-haired beauty took increased her heartbeat. The surface of the water had become a calm glistering mirror, and Shizuru felt as if she was the one who had sucked in all of the rocking waves that shook the airbed earlier. She wanted to speak, she wanted to reach out to touch the little scar that was formed like a crescent, yet she was too afraid to do any of those things her mind made up since she didn't trust the thoughts it produced lately. All of them seemed just too ridiculous and farfetched. Imagination had become her biggest enemy ever after the girl had entered her life.

"I'm sorry about earlier." Natsuki suddenly said out of the blue, twirling the thoughts of Shizuru instantly into the next spiral. _Why is she apologizing about earlier? I was the one who was being unfriendly and cold…_ But before the Kyoto-girl could form an answer Natsuki went on: "… the comment came out wrong. I mean… err." The babbling didn't make sense to Shizuru at all, but she could feel the breathing of the girl above her become heavier, and so she waited for her to complete her sentence. After a bit of struggling, Natsuki once more inhaled to spill her thoughts. "I didn't mean to offend you by ordering you to lie down because of your… umm… breast size…"

"What?" Shizuru was so perplexed about the topic coming up again that she just said aloud what came to her mind, and it must have sounded even more offended because Natsuki instantly started a wild mixture of words and sounds.

"Ugh… Err… Don't get me wrong. What I'm trying to say is that I didn't want to sound rude…" Shizuru could tell that the other girl was very nervous by now, and she found it cute to hear the cool biker getting nervous for once, and so she decided to spark the fire a bit more.

"But Natsuki acted like a rude boy. I didn't like that. Reducing me to simply that…" She brought her hands to her sides as if she wanted to cover her chest again. "I can't do anything about them." Shizuru added with a fake hurt in her voice.

"No god… that's not what I meant… You have beautiful breasts." Natsuki's voice was full of panic and the Kyoto-girl felt instantly sorry for making her spill something like that.

Silence was the only thing that followed after comment, and she could feel how Natsuki's heart was racing… or maybe it was her own, right now it was hard to tell the difference.

Shizuru had no idea how to approach that type of statement even after a minute had passed. _Was that a compliment? Am I supposed to re-compliment her? Her breasts sure look gorgeous, but isn't that weird to tell her? I mean probably not since we're both girls… or maybe it is weird BECAUSE we're both girls. What I can tell is that it is weird that a girl is the reason for an unhealthy heart rhythm. _Shizuru could feel that she was blushing and hoped that Natsuki didn't notice, and so she did what she was always doing when she felt embarrassed; shifting the attention away from herself.

"Ara, so Natsuki after all was paying more attention to my breasts than paddling. No wonder we lost." It was meant to be fun, but Natsuki didn't seem to be too delighted with the comment.

"I wasn't." came the muttered reply, and with that Natsuki glided down from Shizuru's back, and started to swim back to the shore. Shizuru got off the airbed herself, swimming after her as fast as she could, but Natsuki didn't have any intention of being caught by her and was soon out of reach. _Damn, she's fast… But I will not give up so easily._ And so the return was more of an unspoken race than normal swimming. When both had reached the shore, they needed a few moments to catch their breaths.

"You're fast." Shizuru said, trying to lock her gaze with the deep green orbs. Natsuki slowly turned her head around, almost shyly. But when she dared to look into the crimson eyes, she felt at ease. The word 'sorry' was practically written in them, and with a nod both of them smiled the little misunderstanding away. Reito called out at them as soon as they were wrapped in a towel, telling them that dinner was ready.

Natsuki was quiet as usual, but somehow she seemed to loosen up more and more during the evening. Maybe it was because they were able to share another beautiful sunset or maybe because Shizuru tried to integrate her into the group or it simply was the rising amount of beer. Either way the chestnut-haired girl found herself even more drawn to the smiling side of the loner. For a short moment when everyone else was babbling nonsense, she concentrated on Natsuki's laughter only. The emerald eyes were still special and had that slight glance of loneliness, but they were also radiating a warmth that the Kyoto-girl had never felt before. It filled her up with happiness. And although she didn't know why, it felt good. Natsuki somehow seemed to feel Shizuru's eyes upon her and caught her gaze with a warm smile that said more than words would ever be able to. The moment was short to the outer world, but for the girls, it seemed to be endless. Only the low voice of Reito broke their eye-contact, yet they weren't sure if it was the tone or the words that made them snap out of the moment. "All right folks, who's in for 'spin the bottle'?"

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><p><strong>AN:** Wow, that certainly took me awhile. I hope the outcome was worth the time I put into writing the chapter. I'm happy that the alerts for this story are still increasing. But it seems that you guys only like every second chapter since the number of reviews between the chapters differs by more than 10 comments^^


	8. Spin the bottle

"_**You know that silence is loud when all you hear is your heart."**_

**Beta: Ivy Ros****e Thorn**_**  
><strong>_

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Mai Hime.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8 - Spin the bottle<br>**

"Oh really Reito how old are we?" Mai's comment was instantly supported by the franticly nodding of Akane.

"Hopefully not too old to play a game. Come on girls, don't kill my puberty feelings. I finally feel young again after hearing endless lectures about law."

Reito didn't wait for an answer from the rest of the group before jumping up to fetch an empty bottle. Looking at the little beer pyramid that Kazuya and Tate had built earlier, he didn't have to search long. The sandy ground made it hard to conceal that he should have skipped the last shot with the guys, and of course he couldn't fool everybody. Shizuru looked after her boyfriend with a worried gaze. She wasn't sure if this game would do the group dynamic any good, but she also knew that it was hard to stop Reito from going through with one of his alcohol inspired ideas. And also the mimic of the other guys made clear that they weren't averse to the thought of playing such a teenage game right now. Takeda especially had a dreamy look on his face while thinking about the possibilities this game could offer…

_This boy never stops admiring the beauty of his girlfriend, does he? Girlfriend…_

The word somehow left a sour aftertaste in Shizuru's head. _I really don't know if I want to play that game right now…_ When Reito returned she pulled him down, whispering: "I'm not sure if we should do this." He smiled at her before answering in a calm manner. "You don't have to worry. This is all for Takeda's sake. I'm old enough to not let it become a random kissing orgy. So don't you be afraid of me kissing other girls. The only one I want to kiss is you." That said he leaned in and underlined his words with an alcoholic but passionate kiss. Shizuru felt a little dizzy for she didn't expect such an action in front of everyone. Although it should feel perfectly normal to her, she was a bit afraid to turn her head to face the group again. _It somehow always feels strange to be intimate with Reito when Natsuki and Takeda are around. I guess it's because I don't want to make them feel uneasy or pressured… Yeah, that must be it._ With that thought in mind, she filled with courage, and faced the group, including the other girl. But she was completely ignored. The green eyes were fixated on the fire as it danced on the sandy ground. The deep green of Natsuki's eyes was mirroring the glowing embers that the flames sent off towards the starlit sky. In the distance clouds were building up at the horizon, sending of irregular summer lighting now and then. _I hope the thunderstorm isn't coming this way. I hate sleeping in wet tents…_ Not wanting to beg for the serious girl's attention, Shizuru shifted her attention back to the rest of the group. Yuuichi was holding Mai's hand while he talked to Reito about something that she couldn't understand because they sat opposite to her. Akane had her head comfortably rested on Kazuya's shoulders while he was watching his girlfriend in admiration. Even Takeda and Natsuki were sitting next to each other on the sand. Not really knowing why, Shizuru couldn't help but ask herself if she and Reito somehow stood out to the others. She never had the attitude that couples should be all over each other, but right now it felt out of place to sit across from her boyfriend. Before her mind could attempt to dig any deeper into the topic, Yuuichi held up the bottle in order to proudly announce the first task.

"Alright, to whom the bottle points must drink a bottle of beer in one go." The first spin of the bottle was accompanied by an annoyed sigh from Mai, while Shizuru silently prayed for the bottle to point towards anyone but herself. She liked to have a beer from time to time, but she never was a fan of drinking games. Luckily the bottle past her and started to slow down in the direction of Kazuya and Akane, finally coming to a halt by the brown-haired girl.

'Help me' was clearly written all over the unlucky girl's face, and somehow everyone seemed to pity her. She gave Kazuya a desperate look and the boy instantly jumped up and starting gulping down the liquid.

"Oi, that was Akane's task." Yuuichi complained, but Mai poked him with her elbow, commanding him to shut up.

"Could we not do the drinking thing, please? You know that we girls can't take so much beer without throwing up." Akane's mention sounded almost ashamed.

"Alright." Reito tossed in with a smile, but then you have to do something for compensation. "Then let's change the game a bit."

"How?" Mai's look bespoke that she wasn't too thrilled with the game at all.

"The one who spins the bottle can name truth or dare and announce the question or task and the one the bottle chooses has to either answer the question or fulfill the task. Without drinking of course."

"Sounds stupid." was the answer from the busty girl, but Akane's face lightened up a little. Mai noticed the change in her friend's face, and eventually gave it go.

"Kazuya you're next." After giving the bottle to Kazuya, Reito leaned back in his camping chair. The boy with light ash brown hair had a rosy color on his cheeks, probably from gulping down the beer, and his movements made clear that he also didn't take such a huge amount of beer in one so easily.

"Ooookay." He started a little disoriented. "To whom theee bottle points must kiss… me!"

"What?" Akane's voice almost snapped as he heard her boyfriend mumble the words.

"Don't worry I will spin the bottle towards you, honeybee."

"Honeybee?" Akane's expression was priceless, and the chuckles that followed throughout the round only made it worse.

"Here it gooooes!" He spun the bottle so enthusiastically that he would need a miracle to have it point towards his girlfriend, but somehow it magically stopped right where it was supposed to be. "Seeeeeeeee… we're made for each other." He said with a warm smile that Akane eventually returned.

"I think it's way too cozy here…" Mai mumbled as she watched the happy couple.

"Don't you worry, Mai! I will also spin the bottle to have it point at your heart." Yuuichi suddenly said.

"Huh? Where did that come from?" Mai was completely irritated.

"Ara, I see why you said they act like twins Mai-chan." Shizuru chuckled. She still wasn't fond of the idea of playing this game, but so far it had been fun. Before Yuuichi could get any more excited, Reito was quick to snatch the bottle from his hands.

"My my, it's not your turn. Plus you already had your chance. You chose beer over Mai." After Reito had finished his sentence, a mumbling that sounded like 'typical' could be heard from the busty girl. The bottle was put on the ground again, and Reito announced the next task.

"To whom the bottle points must kiss Natsuki." When Reito announced his plan, three pairs of eyes shot open in horror. Sadly, only Shizuru's seemed to out of place. It was pretty obvious why Takeda and Natsuki would turn their heads in shock towards the dark-haired boy, but the reaction of the Kyoto-girl remained a mystery. Luckily she was quick to conceal her irritation by something that looked like anger towards Reito. But he was clearly not going into the mental fight as he made clear by spinning the bottle without adding any further explanation. Sweat drops started to form on Takeda's forehead while his face held a mixture of anxiety and hope. When the bottle started to slow down, the tension in the group seemed to somehow rise. Natsuki hadn't said a word, but her eyes clearly showed how uncomfortable she was as they kept fixating the sand.

"Eeehhh! No way! I refuse!" Takeda shouted and jumped up, positioning right in front Natsuki as if he wanted to shield her. The bottle unmistakably pointed toward the initiator of the task. Reito didn't quite know how to react, but as far as Shizuru could tell he was not too sorry about it. _Of course he wouldn't be… Natsuki is a looker. I should have known. He's just a guy after all…_ Thinking of Reito having such intentions made her somehow angry, and after once more checking Natsuki's agonized face, she was determined to stop that kiss from happening. This time it wouldn't seem out of place for her to react in such a way.

"You don't think I'd let that happen, do you?" She said with a sharp but melodic voice. Her tone had such special nuance that everybody fell silent. Only the gulping of Reito could be heard. Takeda turned around with a huge smile on his face. "Thank you, Shizuru. You're a true friend." The comment made the chestnut-haired girl feel uncomfortable for a slight moment, but she couldn't afford to have stranger thoughts just now. She could feel the emerald eyes watching her from the side, and so she just smiled politely and added. "No need to thank me. You're her boyfriend. You will defend her, right?"

"Right." Takeda proudly announced.

_I'm so sorry for dragging you into this Takeda, but Reito needs to be punished for even considering Natsuki getting kissed in front of my eyes. I mean for him to consider kissing other girls in front of my eyes. Whatever… forgive me Takeda._ "Good. Go ahead then." She said with the sweetest smile on her lips, hoping that nobody would see through her true motives. When Takeda's jaw almost dropped to the ground, she already felt sorry, but thinking back to Reito's look at Natsuki a moment ago washed away any regret.

"Huh?" was the only thing Takeda's brain was able to voice about the awkward situation. The little hope that he might have been misled was shattered when Shizuru turned towards him to explain her comment in such a gaily manner that it sounded almost normal. "You stand in for Natsuki. So, it's your turn with Reito."

"Oh come on, darling. You're not serious." The law-student finally joined the debate, trying to reason with the supposedly calm girl. The rest of the group remained rather silent, but the expressions on their faces revealed that they were amused to no end about the little drama that was building up in front of them. Only Natsuki had an indescribable look on her face.

"You have no idea how serious I am." The crimson-eyes shot daggers at the boy, who came up with the game in the first place. A wordless duel of glares followed the decisive words of Shizuru, but she wouldn't back down just because her hormone driven boyfriend wanted to have a reason to kiss Natsuki. What had started as a game seemed to become more serious than anyone wanted it to be, and since Reito didn't seem to back down in the cold war they fought, Shizuru didn't feel like backing down either.

"Thanks for saving me, Takeda. I owe you one." Natsuki tossed in somewhat absentmindedly. Shizuru couldn't tell if the girl was really thankful or just tired of the unnecessary drama in front of her. But somehow she suddenly felt stupid for reacting so harsh towards Reito in front of everyone. _Note to self. Don't start a fight when either one of us is drunk or even worse both. Fighting over something in public… I really am acting differently lately. Fighting over something with him to begin with… What's wrong with me? Do I really see Natsuki as such a threat?_ She took a quick peek at the girl to her left as if she had to make sure. _I mean it's not so farfetched to be jealous. After all, she's an outstanding beauty. But then, Reito already told me that he thinks Natsuki is boring. If he would know just how interesting she really is, he would surely think differently. I guess that's why I am afraid._ Again, Shizuru found herself having thoughts that didn't fit her character at all. Usually, she wouldn't even bother to play the jealous girlfriend, but ever since Natsuki had stepped up, she felt the need make her stand. Finally giving in, Takeda averted his gaze from Shizuru, meeting Natsuki's eyes halfway he sighed in defeat before he turned towards Reito with the strangest look.

"Oh come on, pal. You can't be serious." Reito said on the border between disgust and fear.

"Sometimes a man's got to do what a man's got to do." Takeda responded dryly, trying to sound like a knight in shining armor.

"And that would be kissing a guy?" Reito responded blinking. Shizuru had a really hard time trying to keep her serious masquerade while watching Reito's priceless expression, but she knew better than to interfere again. She was very certain that Takeda would do anything for the green eyed girl.

"I think if you call it 'kissing your best friend' it doesn't sound so bad." Yuuichi commented before he burst out in laughter. "I'm sorry man…" He chuckled. "But this is just too awesome."

"Oh shut up. You might be next on Takeda's 'Things-a-man's-got-to-do-list'." Reito snapped towards the blonde boy before turning back to Takeda. "I can't believe you always let Shizuru trick you."

"I'm doing this for Natsuki." He said with a determination that made the whole situation appear as if it was a matter of life and death. Shizuru couldn't help but think that Takeda acted like a complete idiot from time to time, but she also had to admit that it was a bit cute how much he cared about the raven-haired girl. Just when the thought struck Shizuru's mind, she found Natsuki's gaze lingering on the spiky-head. She wasn't sure what the emerald eyes mirrored, but somehow it made her sad to see the girl being so thankful towards her supposed savior for something so trivial.

Her attention soon was drawn back to Reito and Takeda as they slowly got closer to each other. If she didn't know it was mere disgust that was making the whole thing longer than needed, she would have thought it was shyness. But in the second the lips of the boys touched a clicking sound, followed by a flash brought the punishment to an abrupt stop. Reito and Takeda instantly broke the lip-contact and swirled around. Yuuichi had the brightest smile on his face when he presented the picture on his phone. Kazuya almost fell over by having the laughing fit of his life. The alcohol only made it worse, and Akane had a hard time trying to calm her boyfriend, while she herself couldn't hide her giggling sounds.

"You sneaky little bastard! Hand that phone over! Now!" Reito shouted, his voice holding a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

"No way! This will be the ultimate threat for either of you. You're in my hands now and nothing can stop me!" Yuuichi darted back before he jumped up. Incited by the alcohol pumping through his veins, Reito also jumped up and started to dash towards the blonde guy, who just escaped in time. The little chase didn't last long because the dark-haired boy soon lost balance.

Takeda's reddish cheeks bespoke that he felt just as stupid about the whole situation, but he had no intention of making the hype any bigger. Coming back to the bonfire, Reito sat down opposite to Shizuru again, glaring at her with enraged eyes.

"I'll get you back for that one." He mumbled, and although the Kyoto-girl knew that he didn't mean it, she felt a bit sorry. Thus she tried to apologize silently with a smile, and it seemed to work a little.

When everyone was gathered around the fire again, Mai raised her voice. "I guess that was it for puberty games."

"Oh no. We're not done yet." Reito proclaimed, all eyes lingering on him now. "Natsuki hasn't had to do anything. And I think it's only fair if she's the one who spins the bottle for a kiss-partner next. Maybe you'll be lucky this time Takeda."

The silence in the group was a clear sign of disapproval, but no one seemed to have the guts to start another argument. After a few seconds where only the sizzling of the camp fire infiltrated the night, Natsuki was the one to speak what everyone was thinking. "I really think this is a stupid game. Can we just sit and have some beer." Her voice was icy, but Reito was already too drunk to be stopped in his madness.

"Fine. We will stop after everyone has participated at least once. That's a fair deal after I had to… well let's not talk about that anymore." A silent battle of wills was fought with the glances between the raven-haired girl and Reito. The crimson-eyed girl felt miserable by seeing him force Natsuki to do something she clearly wasn't comfortable with, but she couldn't think of an inconspicuous way to get out of the situation again. The sooner everyone had spun the bottle once the sooner that whole thing would be over. Not really thinking about her actions she grabbed the bottle with one of her alluring smiles. "Then it's my turn I guess. After all, you dragged Natsuki into this with your task. So she technically participated." The Kyoto-ben floated flawlessly to the seemingly thin air.

"But…" When Reito wanted to start complaining about the suggestion, Shizuru was quick enough to cut him off with a nice but decisive voice. "It's the same with Akane, right darling?"

Reito knew Shizuru long enough to know when he better not add anything. He glanced back and forth between the crimson-eyed girl and Akane, who was giving him an insecure smile. The boy really felt like kicking something right now. One thing a Kanzaki couldn't take was losing, and with Shizuru he always felt as if he was on the short end. But that was also one of the reasons why he loved her so much. She was worthy to get his whole affection, and even to be prior to him. The longer he stared into the crimson eyes that were reflecting the flames of the campfire, the more his heart began to beat steadily again. Shizuru was astounded to find Reito's gaze becoming softer with every second she looked at him. Not knowing how to respond to the sudden affectionate look, she averted her eyes. When her gaze passed Natsuki, she was a surprised to find the girl staring at her. In the raven-haired girl's eyes, lay neither thankfulness nor relief. It was hard to read the expression, but if she had to take a guess, flustered would come closest.

Not really knowing how to proceed, Shizuru just spun the bottle without another comment. It seems no one had really gathered a task, but when the bottleneck pointed directly towards the emerald-eyed girl, Reito couldn't help but grin.

"Justice strikes!" He commented before everyone else noticed the coincidence.

"What kind of justice?" Takeda said slightly angered as he faced his best friend for the first time after their 'intimate' moment.

"Are you going to stand-in on this one too? I don't think so!" Reito shot back instantly.

"Hey hey boys, keep it cool. It's just a game. I don't mind those two kissing." Yuuichi tossed in shortly before Mai kicked him.

"Well, I do! She is my girlfriend! And you should be worried too since you're with Shizuru!"

"And now you want to be the knight again and kiss Shizuru instead?" The argument of his best friend was so strong that Takeda was at a loss for words. Reito laid his hand on the shoulder of the spiky-head in order to convince him that everything would be fine. "Calm down, Masashi. No harm done. They're both girls."

"Right, and I have no intention of following the stupid rules of some stupid game!" Natsuki had gotten up so fast that none of them had seen her reaction coming. Everyone was so busy watching the argument between the guys that they hadn't noticed the reaction of the original participants. For Shizuru it really was a relief that nobody had paid too much attention. As soon as the bottle had pointed towards the raven-haired girl, her mind screamed out in terror. A rush of heat had been shooting up and down her body causing her heart to skip several beats before racing after the missed ones in a lunatic pace. Completely occupied with the body condition of her own she hadn't paid any attention to Natsuki either, and was just as surprised as everyone else when the girl left the group behind with an angry comment.

"Great…" Takeda murmured as he watched his girlfriend disappear in the darkness.

"Just let her be for a few minutes. She'll calm down eventually." Reito said, trying to lessen the worries of his best friend. Takeda sat down on the sandy ground again, completely disappointed how the situation turned out. Shizuru watched the boy in silence for a bit while Reito fetched another round of beer. Unable to sit still, she finally found the guts to go after the biker-girl.

"Shizuru… Sweety, where are you going?" Reito asked a bit irritated when he returned.

"I want to check on Natsuki." She said while giving Takeda an apologetic look.

"Shizuru…" It was almost a whisper, but Shizuru already knew that Takeda would say something like that. "Could you tell her, I'm sorry, and that I really care about her?" Still the words felt heavy on her shoulders. After all, the girl was such a mystery to her.

"Yes, me too. I mean tell her I'm sorry." Reito added before Shizuru approached the waterside.

Natsuki was standing silently in front of the lake, her feet only a few inches away from getting soaked by the weak incoming waves. The crescent moon that was doubled on the surface of the black water in front of her illuminated the pale skin of her face. When Shizuru approached the serene scenery, every step felt like an intrusion of a world she wasn't allowed to enter. The closer Natsuki got, the more nervous Shizuru became. She had thought of several ways to start the conversation, but none of them seemed to be good enough now that she was standing next to the girl.

She let her gaze wander about the perfect shaped body of Natsuki again before she turned her head towards the waterside. Somehow the need to break the silence faded away with every second she lingered. Their breaths and the cool night air were enough to clear her mind. The voices of the rest of the group felt so far away that she turned around to make sure that they were still within sight.

"You don't have to be here. You can go back to your friends." The words of the usual silent girl shook Shizuru out of the reverie in no time. Not really knowing how to take them, she needed a moment to gather her thoughts and remember the reason why she had followed her.

"I wanted to apologize. It was inappropriate of Reito to drag you into this. Sometimes he's a bit too enthusiastic, but he's a good guy." Even in her mind it sounded so wrong to defend Reito's behaviour from earlier, but luckily the anger in Natsuki voice was replaced by casualness. "I gathered that much… Otherwise I would have doubted your taste in men." The husky voice still sounded cold, but somehow it also had a teasing edge to it.

"That sounds funny coming from you." Shizuru felt stupid to counter with 'the-look-who's-talking-attitude', but she couldn't hide her curiosity completely.

"Takeda might be an idiot, but he's a caring idiot." The girl's statement seemed so bluntly honest that Shizuru didn't really know how to respond, and so she started babbling what came to her mind first. "Anyhow, I'm sorry that we dragged you into that stupid game, when I already knew you'd feel uncomfortable with the whole kissing thing."

Natsuki gave her an intense look, as if she meant to question the assumption. "You make it sound like I am an outcast. Would you have kissed Takeda in front of me?" The chestnut-haired girl again felt at a loss for words. She normally could easily deal with people, but it seems that it was just easy to communicate with the superficial kind. Only now she learned how troublesome a conversation can be with somebody who wasn't afraid to speak the truth or to stick up to any politeness. She was so used to the fake tone of friendliness between people that she had a hard time trying to cope with that kind of honesty. She had noticed it before, but right now it was so present that she was almost afraid to say something wrong. Natsuki made her nervous. She made her feel unprotected. Being true to herself was an art Shizuru Fujino had not managed to master yet.

As Natsuki was still looking at her with an intense gaze, she could feel her cheeks redden. Luckily the dim light hid her embarrassment well, although her words clearly screamed 'nervousness'. "Well, the bottle was pointing at you, and not Takeda… and… No, I just… Listen, I said I'm sorry okay." _For god's sake! What's wrong with me? I need more booze!_

Completely uncomfortable, Shizuru had a hard time standing still in the following silence. Natsuki seemed to sense the uneasiness, and eventually broke the silence. "Where's that path lead over there?" Pointing towards a little gap between the branches, Shizuru had a hard time seeing anything at all in the darkness.

"I think it leads to the road around the lake." Just when Shizuru had finished her answer, the other girl started walking towards the said pathway.

"Where are you going?" She shouted after the dark-haired one who already disappeared in the darkness.

"Tell Takeda I'm going for a walk." Shizuru turned around, finding the group chit-chatting and laughing. She deeply inhaled some very much needed air, and followed the raven-haired girl. _Why do I feel like chasing after her the whole time? She didn't even ask for my company._

"Won't your boyfriend be worried?" The biker-girl said with a hint of mockery in her voice. It was as if she didn't mention Reito's name on purpose.

"Maybe. Won't yours?" Natsuki didn't comment on the reply, and so Shizuru decided to go into the subject a little more later, but for now they needed to get out of the bushes. After a few minutes of fighting their way through the underbrush, they found themselves on a road that circled around the lake. A few dim lamps were illuminating the obscurity in front of them. A look at the sky made evident that the clouds that had filled the horizon earlier had eaten away the moon by now. Shizuru was glad that thanks to the lamps they didn't need to walk in complete darkness. She fished out her cell-phone and dropped a short message that they were out for a walk. The reply followed a few seconds later, stating that they should be careful.

While the girls walked in silence for the first minutes, Shizuru slowly began to feel a bit more confident.

"So…" She started, trying to control her voice for not letting slip any unnecessary sign of insecurity. "You and Takeda. Is it the real deal?" For awhile Natsuki didn't say anything at all, and somehow Shizuru couldn't blame her. They weren't that close to share any details about their private lives, but curiosity seemed to get the best of her around the silent girl ever so often.

"I thought you weren't the kind of girl who would talk about guys the whole time, but it seems I was wrong."

"I am not, I'm just…" The Kyoto-girl felt so stupid that only one option seemed to be left. "Whatever… I'm heading back." But Natsuki stopped her movement before she was able to even turn around.

"Wait." Gripping Shizuru by the arm, she paused a second to make sure the taller girl would not leave. "I'm sorry. It's just that I would rather not talk about Takeda or Reito right now. Look around you." She tilted her head towards the sky that was now filled with thick clouds that were still sending off summer lighting. "It's a beautiful night, and I'd like to enjoy it without a bunch of snickering people I don't even know."

"Why did you stop me from leaving then?" Shizuru was able to follow the gaze of the girl, but not her words.

"You're different. You're nothing like them." The certainty of the words stood out like a snowflake in the dessert. The chestnut-haired girl felt beyond surprised, and remembering the cold attitude from earlier she was sure that it wasn't meant the way she thought at first. "I don't think insulting my friends is the best way to make me stay." was the only reply she could think of. But she instantly got an annoyed sigh from her opposite. Before Natsuki spoke again, she made sure to lock their gazes first. The intense look of the deep emerald was enough to make her knees get a bit weaker, but the following words completely caught her off guard. "I'm not insulting them. I'm complimenting you." Shizuru could feel her cheeks burning, but she could have sworn that the pink shade was also plastered on the other girls face although it was hard to say for sure with only the lights of the streetlamps.

The silence eventually washed away the embarrassment of them both, as their feet led them further around the dark and serene lake. After a while, Natsuki was the one to rekindle the conversation again. "It was a bit mean of you to use Takeda for punishing your boyfriend, but still… Thanks for saving me."

_She saw through me?_ Shizuru was glad that the gaze of the girl was fixated on the street, giving her the chance to gather her thoughts first. She was irritated, but she had no intention of letting her guard down. "You knew?"

"Is it really that surprising?" Natsuki huffed, slowing down her steps a little.

"Why, yes." She had met a lot of people in her life but not one of them dared to approach her real self so suddenly and shamelessly. She somehow was angry about being so seemingly easy to read, although she knew it wasn't Natsuki's fault.

"It's your eyes that give you away." The raven-haired girl said as if she wanted to appease her.

"Usually they used to do a good job of fooling people." _She wasn't supposed to know that I am not the most honest person when it comes to my real emotions… How is she making me tell her things about myself when she doesn't even ask…_

"Because most people are stupid. They don't want to see or know the truth. And so they willingly believe all the lies they get told."

"Sounds like you have experience with being lied to." It was a chance to turn the conversation in another direction, but Natsuki was good at avoiding telling anything about herself.

"Who doesn't?" Although it was a rhetorical question, Shizuru wasn't ready to let the topic go just yet. She was intrigued, and she wanted to know more about the strange girl that seemed to be able to shatter all of her walls so easily.

"Who are you? I mean what was your life before you came here? Why did you come here? And why Takeda of all the guys?"

"Going back to the boys-topic again, huh?" She inhaled. "Quite a lot of things you want to know about me. Why are you so eager to find out who I am?"

"I…" Shizuru started, trying to think of a reasonable explanation.

"Please, just be honest with me for once. I'd see through your façade anyway, and I'm tired of watching you try to hold up a masquerade that isn't needed around me."

Shizuru took a little time to deliberate, but somehow she felt as if she had nothing to lose. Maybe the alcohol made her head lighter, or maybe the girl did that to her heart. She didn't know for sure, and by now she didn't care. It seemed okay to trade some secrets under the shelter of the night. "I don't know why either… I've never met someone like you before, who can so easily see through my every move. It makes me nervous."

"So, I make you nervous?" A little smile formed in the corner of the girl's lips after hearing Shizuru speak her mind for the first time.

"A bit. I'm feeling insecure around you. Even more so now that I know you can read my mind."

Natsuki couldn't help but chuckle over the statement. "I can't read your mind, but I have eyes."

"Very beautiful ones…" It was a silent mumble, but still it was more voice than thought.

"Mh?" Hearing the other girl respond to her slip, Shizuru immediately panicked a little. _Shit, did I really just say that aloud? _The eyes of the Kyoto-girl shot up in horror. _Whenever idiocy calls, Shizuru Fujino is there to answer… _"Err… Nothing. Nervousness isn't a bad thing. It somehow also feels good… It's nice to be around you." Trying to save the situation the words didn't feel as out of place as she had thought.

"I feel the same." Natsuki's reply surprised her. She had perceived the girl as a loner, and she was really glad to hear that the impression she had left on her didn't seem to be so bad. "Thanks for being honest." The green-eyed girl added before rewarding Shizuru with some answers. "In the first weeks after I came to this city I felt completely alone and abandoned. I was a coward, and ran away from my problems at home. I should know better than to turn my back on things that could be changed, but the scholarship for the university felt like winning a lottery at that time in my life. I met Takeda in a bar downtown. He had his eyes upon me ever since I entered. I was annoyed at first, but when a bunch of disgusting guys approached me, he had the guts to stand up for me. Of course, I knew that he wouldn't have a chance against them, but still I thought it was brave of him. Luckily the barkeeper saved his ass by throwing the guys out. I served him a beer as a thank you, and he walked me home. I really wasn't interested in any kind of relationship, but he was rather persistent and it seems he's a good guy." Shizuru could hear the thankfulness towards the spiky-head in Natsuki's voice, but the search for any sign of true affection was in vain.

"Yes, he is. I mean he even kissed Reito to defend you." Both girls started to laugh at the thought of the funny situation from earlier.

"I was just glad that he wasn't too eager to do that the second time too." Natsuki said, still chuckling.

"There was no need to since you ran away screaming early enough." Shizuru's comment was meant as a light tease, but Natsuki somehow became serious again.

"I didn't scream. I just thought it was stupid to behave like teens. Random kissing games are not my favorite hobby."

"I already figured that much. I'm sorry, I didn't mean for the bottle to point at you." Shizuru said a little offhand.

"To whom then?" Not getting an answer right away, Natsuki quickly covered the question by adding: "Anyway, there's no need to apologize on behalf of a bottle."

"At least Yuuichi didn't get another image for his gallery. Although, I'm pretty sure Takeda really would have stepped in again. So thanks for running away." Shizuru had the thought of herself being the reason for Natsuki's reaction thrice in her mind ever since the bottle chose what she had been most afraid of.

"I wasn't running away because of you. I just think it isn't right."

"Yeah sure… It was already weird enough to have two guys kissing."

"I'm not talking about gender." _So it was about me then…_

Trying to hide what was going on in her head, Shizuru didn't bother to reply. She wasn't sure where it came from, but being used to having some admirers here and there it was a tad disappointing to know that she was the reason for Natsuki running away from the task so quickly.

"A kiss shouldn't happen under such circumstances. Especially the first kiss should be something special since there's only one chance." Natsuki paused and turned her head towards the sky again, as a bright lightning illuminated the street under her feet. "I don't know. It might sound silly, but I believe that kissing someone is something intimate, and it shouldn't be a game. For me, it's linked to affection. And kissing someone just for the fun of it without any emotions isn't my thing. It would mean nothing at all." Shizuru still said nothing. "Sorry, I'm not good when it comes to emotions and stuff. Am I making any sense here?" Natsuki asked as she suddenly stopped walking to face the suddenly silent girl.

"Yes. Actually I think you are quite the expert… I just… I don't remember my first kiss with Reito." Shizuru felt like the worst person in the world right now, but the green-eyed girl was quick to give her solace.

"Don't worry. Takeda's and mine was far from perfect too."

Finally having the certainty that Reito had told her the truth, it was not enough at the moment to overshadow the need to question her own views on some things. "Although I always thought I'm striving for it, I get the feeling that I don't know what perfection really is." Thick droplets of rain started to pour down in the second Shizuru had finished the sentence. Natsuki frantically looked around to find some kind of shelter. After a moment, the girl pointed towards a huge tree that was standing a few meters down the street. They hurried over trying to find a dry spot, but the heavy summer rain shot through the canopy like a waterfall. Shizuru was embracing herself to stop the goose bumps from conquering her body completely. The cloudburst had cooled down the warm temperature in an instant, and she really regretted leaving the camp so suddenly without bringing her jacket with her. The girls were soaked within seconds. Shizuru was standing close to the big stem, while Natsuki was looking in all directions for finding a better cover. Long wet strands of dark hair were glued to the neck of the biker-girl in front of her. Shizuru observed little trails of water running down the cheeks, and the upper body of Natsuki, eventually disappearing in the neckline. When Natsuki turned around, she found the chestnut-haired girl shivering. She immediately stripped off her leather jacket, and wrapped it around the Kyoto-beauty. Shizuru didn't really know what to make of the gesture, but it felt too good to decline. The raven-haired one got closer in order to rub up and down the arms of the shivering girl. Fume ascended from the street as the rain hit the heated up concrete with full force. The haze soon engulfed the girls that were still standing face to face. Their eyes had locked with each other, and neither of them seemed to be able to break the eye-contact or the silence of the moment. Shizuru somehow forgot to breathe, and felt the strong need to inhale deeply. The other girl stopped rubbing her arms when the Kyoto-beauty finally took in some much needed air, but she didn't move away. She kept her stand as if to extend the moment. Time felt as it had been stopped although the rain proved them wrong. Shizuru could feel Natsuki's breath upon her face, triggering an unspecified feeling to build up inside of her. She could feel the hands of the raven-haired girl through the leather of the jacket, and although she wasn't cold anymore she felt the need to bury herself in the slender arms. Unintentionally leaning in a bit, she found herself only inches away from the face of her opposite. The sound of the rain had become steady, being the complete opposite of her heartbeat. Her skin was giving away so much heat that she was afraid it would burn through the massive fabric of the jacket. She waited for the other girl to turn away or at least break the eye-contact, but nothing happened as they were standing in the middle of nowhere under the mercy of the big summer storm. Suddenly the grip of the green-eyed girl tightened around her arms. At first she thought she was imaging it, but it was undeniable that she was slowly being pulled closer. Completely overwhelmed by the action, she abruptly shrugged back and opened her mouth.

"Umm… Takeda wanted me to tell you that he's sorry for earlier… and so is Reito." The grip on her arms instantly loosed, and within a blink of an eye the moment had died away as Natsuki let her arms fall limp. The girl turned away before answering: "I see. Thanks." Her voice was so cold that Shizuru started to freeze again. She felt completely stupid, and had no idea how cope with the aftermaths of the strange moment they had shared seconds ago. Luckily her cell phone started to ring, saving her from facing the situation. Reito was on the other line telling her that Mai and Akane headed back to the car as soon as it started to rain to pick them up. Natsuki didn't speak a word while they waited for the two girls, and although a thousand thoughts were running through the Kyoto-girl's mind she wasn't able to voice one of them. The feeling that time was standing still, lingered. Only, Shizuru had made the crucial difference as she had dared to move.

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><p><strong>AN:** Woah, that was so much longer than expected. I hope you don't mind the chapter being twice as long as the previous. I didn't want to split it and decided to leave it like that. A friend of mine encouraged me that no reader would mind a longer read, and so here it is. I hope you like it. I am so happy to have that many people review my story. I believe it's also a reason for me to put more effort in the chapters. I will always write for myself, but with this story I have the feeling to connect with so many people throughout the world. So thank you for your support I hope you'll keep reviewing. It makes me super happy after I spent so many hours in front of the screen writing down the chapter when I should study for my exams, but right now my heart is with this story. That is because so many people encourage me =) Also a big thank you to my beta HollowPoint.


	9. Borderline

"_**I was a fool to ever leave you, you were a fool to let me go."**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Natsuki and Shizuru. Only in my dreams they are mine alone.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 9 – Borderline<strong>

Although the rain did soon stop after the girls had gotten back to the lake, the night had seemed endless. The bonfire had already died away, and nobody was in the mood for chit-chat anymore. Natsuki had disappeared in Takeda's tent without another word, and was already gone in the morning when Shizuru awoke from her half-hearted slumber. Reito, as usual, was in a good mood when they entered his apartment together with the just fetched breakfast. He offered to set up the table for giving the obviously moody girl some time to take a warm and hopefully refreshing shower.

The hot water crawling down her body caused her skin to redden slightly, but as much as she wished for it to wash away the thoughts in her head it only made her dizzy. The sleep loss and the fume in the bathroom did not mix well, and so she eventually turned down the temperature a bit.

"Breakfast is ready." Reito's voice coming from the kitchen sounded peculiarly unfamiliar through the vapor veil. Not ready to let go of the warmth that was at least surrounding her outer shell, she once more turned up the water temperature.

"Just a moment." She called back, astounded that her own voice sounded just as strange. _I feel like I'm losing myself… _She tried to remember the exact amount of time she had spent with the black haired boy that had grown into a man over the years. _It must be almost four years if we count the innocent hand holding times in high school, too. _A sigh followed the realization that she might have had a lot of interesting flirts during her relationship with Reito, but none of them were able to shatter her bond to the man she had planned to spend her life with even a bit. There was never anyone who was able to get her real attention. Sure, having a fan club and being famous not only with the male gender was a nice change. But the fact that someone was able to turn the life of her upside down so suddenly, was something even the ever composed Shizuru Fujino had trouble handling. She was afraid to face the facts that had already built up in the depths of her mind, and she was determined not to let them get the best of her. Whatever it was this stranger did to her, it would have to end now.

She turned off the water and hurried to get dressed not to make Reito wait any longer. When she entered the kitchen, she was greeted with the nice smell of strong coffee. Her boyfriend was already sitting at the table, politely waiting for her to sit down. The smile he offered was so generous that she was even surer of her decision. _It will definitely have to stop. I'd be stupid to let someone like him slip away. It shouldn't be too hard. After all Natsuki and I are barely acquaintances. I'm gonna stay away from her for a while._

"Feeling better now?" The curious honey-colored eyes were vigilantly watching hers for any sign of discomfort, but they found none.

"Yes, much better." She answered with a genuine smile.

"I'm glad then." Both started eating while chit-chatting about the beautiful weather. Shizuru enjoyed the conversation, and suddenly felt full of energy. "Why don't we have a picnic later?"

"Sorry honey, I can't. I've already made plans with Takeda."

"Oh, I see." A little disappointed, Shizuru brought her attention back to the marmalade toast on her plate, when Reito continued the conversation.

"Don't give me that look. Did you forget that you and Natsuki have a date later?"

"What?" _Date? _

"Homework for that prestigious English class, remember?" His tone was a bit sarcastic. Being a very rational type of person, Reito had never understood the fascinations of his girlfriend with Literature. For him, the only valuable words were written down to protect law and order in the world.

"Oh right." _Shoot! _"I don't think I'm going." Trying to keep up the calm façade, Shizuru did her best not to look up.

"Everything alright? Did you two have a fight?" But Reito sensed the uneasiness.

"Fight? No, what would there be to fight over?" Trying to brush the topic off, she added a little huff, but Reito was rather talkative. _Or maybe simply worried about my wellbeing._

"I don't know, you tell me." He tried to catch her gaze, finally with success.

"It's nothing really." She didn't want to worry him. The whole 'problem' would be solved soon. The smile she gave him in response was so flawless that it almost convinced herself.

"If you say so." Although Shizuru could see that he didn't completely buy it, Reito finally let it go. "Anyways, I am going to meet with Takeda and have some boys talk."

"Uh huh, boys talk. Yesterday sure must have put your friendship to the next level." Not even trying to repress the chuckles escaping her mouth, the chestnut-haired girl reached out for the mug on her left.

"Oh don't even start. Actually, he wanted to have some advice for entering the next level of his relationship with Natsuki." When the information sunk in, Shizuru almost choked on her drink. Reito immediately stopped eating, giving her a suspicious glance. "Coffee Hot." She quickly covered the situation, and thankfully wasn't questioned any further. _I need to keep better control of myself. Takeda is Natsuki's boyfriend. It's not my place to mingle with their relationship… But what if Natsuki isn't ready? What if she's not sure with Takeda at all? I mean I am Takeda's friend. It's completely normal that I worry for him. _She mentally sighed over her futile attempts to trick herself. _Who am I kidding… But I can't let it affect me. I decided to cherish my relationship with Reito, and to let those strange thoughts of her go. Not only that, it's not appropriate to look at another girl that way, I am also in a relationship, and Takeda is my friend. There are far too many "No's" in this scenario._

"You know Takeda and how inexperienced he is. So he asked the expert for help." Reito's words brought her back from her inner monologue within a blink of an eye.

"Oh I see, and what is your role then?" An amused smile crossed her lips when she saw the grumpy face of her opposite, but the boy was quick to regain his cool attitude.

"You're mean, but I know for sure that you know better." The confident wink somehow annoyed her little, but she wasn't up to shatter his dreams. "This should be fun. Knowing Takeda he will be completely embarrassed about the topic."

"You don't seem to be."

"We're not in high-school anymore. I don't think sex is that much of a taboo, plus I'm curious if Takeda can handle seeing his pretty girlfriend naked without dying of blood loss beforehand."

At a loss for words, Shizuru couldn't voice anything that would make sense at the moment and so she just nodded.

"Are you sure you want to cancel the homework thing? You could probably help Takeda a little. You know what girls stuff like: Is she ready, is she still a virgin, which I doubt by the way, and so on?" She could feel her inner tension rising, and the realization of that made her even angrier. Thankfully, the boy didn't notice her inner struggle, which gave her time to fight the unwanted feelings down. After she had settled down a bit, she eventually responded in a calm and rational manner. "Do we really need to take the leading role in Takeda's relationship?"

"Don't tell him, but yes. Come on, you're the master of manipulation. I'm sure you can get the information even from someone like Natsuki. I'm gonna drop you at her place later. Pretty please?"

_Master of manipulation… I guess he's right… somehow._ "Fine…"

The sound of the doorbell was just like last time accompanied by the loud barking of the dog, whose name Shizuru couldn't remember. The neighbors gave away their curious glances again, but she didn't bother to greet them. Her thoughts were a strange mixture of fear and happiness. Shizuru couldn't deny that she was somehow glad to see Natsuki, but the fear of how to face the girl after the events of last night seemed to weigh much heavier on her shoulders. Only the stubborn thought of setting an end to the weird scenario kept her stable enough to find the courage to be here after all. She would directly ask the girl what was going on instead of being afraid of half true lies. At least that was her plan, and up to now she had always stuck to her plans.

When the door was opened and a pair of surprised green eyes met hers, she could already feel a bit of her courage slip away. Nonetheless, she acted as composed as possible.

"Hey there, I'm here for homework." She held up the poetry book, and smiled victoriously at her opposite.

"Oh…" The look on Natsuki's face clearly gave away that she hadn't expected the crimson-eyed girl at all. And if it weren't for the surprise, Shizuru had doubted that the other girl would show herself in that outfit willingly. A blue tank top and a pair of boxer-shorts weren't really appropriate to receive visitors after all. Still, the Kyoto-girl was glad that she was able to catch the biker a little off guard for once. She had always liked to be the one in control, and it was refreshing to have that feeling again. She was a little more comfortable with herself right now, and it seemed as if her goal from this morning was quite reachable.

"It seems Natsuki has forgotten." She teased, knowing that she would make her a bit uncomfortable.

"I… sorry. Umm, come in." The girl stuttered, sounding a little insecure and thereby giving Shizuru just the reaction she wanted. When she set foot in the hallway, a low growling started. "Stop it, Duran. She's a friend." The black-haired girl gave Shizuru an apologetic look. "Don't be afraid. He's just not good with people. Especially strangers."

"I see. Just like his owner." Shizuru commented as she bent down to give the dog the chance to sniff her hand. She was a bit stunned as two watchful azure eyes looked back at her. Never before had she seen a dog with such outstanding eyes. The short silver fur was rather soft compared to its bristle look, and she had to admit she was quite impressed.

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" came the flustered response.

"I mean the growling." The chestnut-haired girl snickered while Duran seemed to relax a little. "So, are we going to study in the hallway?" Pretending to be eager to get the homework done instead of bluntly stating that she was interested to see a bit more of the house, Shizuru found her old strength bit by bit. _Amazing what a long shower can do._

"Err… no. Of course not. Just give me few minutes."

"Go ahead." When Natsuki disappeared into what seemed to be the living room, Shizuru took the opportunity to take a look around. The hallway was a little bleak. Only an ancient looking floor clock and some postcards in a black frame on the wall gave away a little atmosphere. Not sure if she should read the cards, she solely looked at the pictures first. Some of them were from places in Europe, but most showed different landscapes of Okinawa. After deliberating for a bit, she finally grabbed one and turned it around with a slightly bad conscious.

'My dear Natsuki,

I'm writing you to let you know that I am still thinking of you. I miss having you around. I miss your smiles. The good old days when we were young… but time has changed us, hasn't it?

Yours,

Jun'

Not really knowing what to make of the text, Shizuru grabbed another card. The picture on the front showed the Eifel tower at night surrounded by an ocean of lights.

'My dearest Natsuki,

I'm still a bit sad that you couldn't make it to my wedding. I'm in Paris for my honeymoon. It's beautiful here. You'd love it. I'm still waiting for a sign of you. I hope you didn't forget about me.

Yours,

Jun'

The cards only made Natsuki even more of a riddle to Shizuru. Not wanting to invade the privacy of the girl any further, she cautiously put the cards back. Just when she was about to adjust them right, she felt a rubbing on her right leg. She looked down at the dog whose tongue hung out, making him look a bit silly. "Aw, I totally forgot about you. Duran was it?" The four-legged pet wagged his tail in approval. Shizuru squatted down to be at eye-level with the now much friendlier animal. "I wish you could talk and tell me about the mysteries of your owner. Is she good to you?" Duran barked. The Kyoto-girl didn't know if it meant anything, but she supposed yes. "I see. Of course she is." A few seconds later Natsuki stood in the door again gesturing Shizuru to come into the living room. Duran followed closely.

"He seems to like you." The raven-haired girl commented nonchalantly.

"I guess he has good taste." Natsuki smiled a little while she watched the dog sniffing around. Shizuru didn't know if it was about her cocky comment or if the girl simply adored the animal so much, but right now it felt good to see the look in the emerald eyes soften. "I never saw such a dog before. What breed is it?" Shizuru asked the dazed girl as they crossed the room.

"He's a Weimaraner. A very noble breed from Germany." Natsuki's sounded very proud, and indeed she should be. Duran was a very beautiful dog, and for the breed to be a bit special seemed to fit as well. _He really is a lot like his owner…_

They sat down next to each other at the table across the room that was located in front of two big windows which offered a view of a small garden. The walls were painted in a light gray tone, making the whole room a little dark. The furniture was mostly ebony, and Shizuru instantly thought that some brighter colors would have been a better choice. She couldn't help but think that the whole house gave away the atmosphere of belonging to someone who was fairly older than the college student. A black leather couch was sitting at the left wall across from a little ancient TV. There wasn't too much time to take in her surroundings on the way to the table, but one thing stood out profoundly. A huge bookshelf was occupying almost the whole wall next to the TV. _Wow, she really is into literature. I need to take a closer look later on. Books can tell you a lot about a person after all. Well, about most people. If I'd judge Reito by his collection he would be a plain boring lawyer…_

"Have you already thought of how we should approach the task?" Natsuki suddenly asked, shaking the chestnut-haired girl out of her thoughts.

"Not really. I thought you were the expert here."

"I wouldn't go that far, but I am indeed quite competent." She grinned at Shizuru while flipping through the text book. Having the other girl act so light-hearted in the security of her own home made Shizuru almost regret her decision from this morning. Maybe they could be friends after all.

"Look." The raven-haired girl pointed at a poem of Anne Sexton. Shizuru briefly skimmed it. "Wow, that's not what I've imagined of poetry. I thought more of Shakespeare and Wordsworth."

"Well, the class is labeled 'Modern English Literature'. I don't think Shakespeare is up to date." Hearing the almost blaspheme statement Shizuru cocked her brow in wonder.

"He will always be up to date." Adding a particularly sarcastic tone to the last words, she was ready to stand her ground on that topic. Seeing the determination in the crimson eyes, Natsuki immediately gave in with a light chuckle. "Okay, okay. I like some of his works too."

"Some?" The skeptical look didn't leave the taller girl's face. Since she was little, Shizuru had been an admirer of Shakespeare. He was one of the main reason she studied literature. His works made her fall in love with words. She still remembered the sound of her mother's voice reading some of his lines to her when she couldn't fall asleep at night now and then.

"I'm not into his sonnets, but I like the plays." A light smile crossed Shizuru's lips, hearing that the other girl didn't dislike him completely.

"What's your favorite?"

"Let's see…" Shizuru watched Natsuki closely as she the raven-haired girl thought about the answer. After a short while her gaze got caught by the deep green orbs, when the mouth of her opposite started to move, "And yet, to speak the truth, love and reason keep little company together nowadays." The look the other girl gave along with the words sent shivers down her spine. The moment was so intense that she had trouble keeping her composure. A few seconds ticked away while the two girls were just silently staring at each other before Shizuru finally broke the silence.

"Midsummer Night's Dream… I… I like it too." Of course, she knew the line by heart, but hearing that particular sentence from Natsuki did something to her. Still dazed she was a bit flustered when the next question came. Usually the other girl wasn't so talkative, but literature seemed a good base.

"What's yours?"

"I love Romeo and Juliet." Shizuru answered so quickly that Natsuki could only grin when she responded. "I thought so."

"Oh really? Am I that obvious?"

"Sometimes… I just figured that you're the type who'd like that kind of love story." It sounded almost offending, and the chestnut-haired girl again felt the need to defend herself.

"You mean the kind of story without a happy end?"

"It has a happy end." Shizuru had to admit that it was a bit frustrating to discuss the topic with Natsuki. _Why does she always state the opposite? _ "Where's the happy end in being dead?" She asked a bit undiscerning.

Natsuki turned her head toward the windows, before tilting it into a thinker position. "It's true that they were stupid to kill themselves, but that was only because they were afraid to avow their love in front of everyone in time. If they would have been a bit braver they might have had a real happy ending. But I guess then it wouldn't have been so famous. This world loves tragedies. The happy end though is that they found true love before they died. Even if Juliet wasn't searching for it, she found it and it altered her life… her soul. I think the same goes for Romeo. In all his melancholy over Rosaline, he was thinking that he was dammed to live an unhappy life until real love crossed his way." The words left Shizuru speechless for a while. She had a hard time trying to believe that the cool biker girl in front of her seemed to have such a delicate soul. She had tried to talk with Reito or some of her other friends about literature and especially Romeo and Juliet so many times, but they weren't really interested at all. It was quite a nice change to have someone to share that interest with her.

"Ara, I can see why Natsuki did get that scholarship." She playfully said, and earned a light blush in response

"Okay, let's start." And with that the smile was gone, and they started to concentrate on the task.

Not really knowing how to begin, Shizuru looked around to scan her surroundings once more. The garden wasn't in the best shape, but it gave away a nice and cozy atmosphere. Trying to get a better view of the bookshelf behind her, she had to admit that the angle wasn't helpful in seeing any titles at all, and so she focused on the little frames above the couch that held some seemingly old pictures. She couldn't tell for sure, but from her current position it looked like a little black haired girl and a puppy. _Could this be her? _ Another one showed the little dark haired one again with what probably were her parents. Both had black hair, only that the father had it cut very short.

"I thought my postcards would have entertained you enough for today, but it seems my house is quite a distraction to you." The sound of Natsuki's voice thankfully wasn't as harsh as her words, but Shizuru felt completely caught nonetheless.

_She noticed?_ "Sorry, I didn't mean to invade your privacy. It's just… I know so little about you, and it's not really that common to have a college student own a house in such a neighborhood, don't you think?" She was afraid to state the obvious, although she didn't really know why. According to her plan it shouldn't bother her anymore if Natsuki liked her or not, but somehow it did.

Natsuki put the pencil down with a sigh, looking at the pictures herself. "This is the house of my grandmother. She died a few months ago." The sadness in the green eyes was suddenly back, hitting Shizuru will full force. She was already sorry that she had asked, but she also wanted to know more.

"My condolences." She said lowly. "So, you inherited the house?"

"Basically. My father wanted to sell it, but I wouldn't let that happen. I would not let all the memories of Grandma go to waste just to feed his addiction."

Shizuru didn't know what to say or how to remove the hurt look in Natsuki's eyes, so she decided to stay silent. There was no use in squeezing out information from the taciturn girl. Although the hunger to know more about the person next to her grew steadily, she kept herself composed and waited patiently for Natsuki to decide if she wanted to share more pieces of her life. Shizuru could read in the deep green eyes that the girl seemed to struggle with that question already anyway.

After another minute that was only filled with the sound of the ticking floor clock, she finally spoke again. "As you already know, I'm new to the city, at least as a citizen. My mother and I used to visit my grandmother quite often when I was young. But after my mother was gone, I stopped visiting. I didn't mean to, but living with my father got difficult, and I was also afraid of coming here for being constantly confronted with all the memories of my mom."

"Did she die too?" Horrified by the thought, Shizuru was hoping the answer would be 'no'.

"Who knows… She left my father and me behind to find happiness with another man. To be precise, she left everything behind. She was a teacher at the local school. She was the one who showed me the beauty of books, but that man changed her completely. It's cruel what love can do to people. Somebody always gets hurt in the end. She hasn't contacted us since."

"How old were you?"

"Eleven. The whole thing got to me, and I became a rather violent individual. My grades and behavior became so bad that they wanted to expel me. My father wasn't in any position to help me as he found a new love in booze after he had lost the love of my mother."

"I'm really sorry to…"

"Don't." Natsuki cut her off. "Things have changed. I have changed, and I don't want people to feel sorry for me. It might sound terrible to someone like you who leads a normal life, but believe me… having such a background is much more common than you would think."

Shizuru couldn't say anything against it. After all, Natsuki was right, she had led a pretty normal life, and had never experienced any such hardships. She couldn't help but wonder how the raven-haired girl made it through all of this. "How did you cope with it?"

"I had a childhood friend who helped me to get through the worst. They shared a similar fate, only that their parents were still together, fighting all day long. We often met in the middle of the night at the local playground because we wanted to escape 'home'. If it weren't for them, I probably wouldn't be here now. It also rekindled my interest in literature when I thought I would hate books for the rest of my life."

"They must be wonderful. I'd like to meet them one day." Not really thinking about her response, Shizuru just spoke her thoughts aloud, although she instantly felt stupid to have voiced them.

"I'm afraid that won't happen. We're not talking to each other anymore." A swirl of emotions was clouding the eyes of Natsuki as she lowly responded.

"Why? What happened?" Shizuru kept mentally beating herself up for incautiously speaking her thoughts, but the presence of the other girl somehow made her act a lot more carefree and impulsive than she liked to act.

"Nothing."

The puzzled look on Shizuru's face left no doubts that she had expected a different answer. "Why aren't you friends anymore then?"

"As I said, because 'nothing' happened." Letting the words remain a mystery for now, the green eyed girl averted her attention towards Duran, who had come over as if he was sensing Natsuki's sadness. "I know you miss Jun too, good boy."

_Jun… The guy from the postcards. I see._ "Why don't you go and visit him?" Shizuru tried to revive the conversation.

"Visit who?"

"That boy."

"You mean Jun." A light but sad smile crossed the rosy lips of Natsuki. "At that time I was scared of ever letting somebody get close again, and I still am. But thanks to her I was able to feel something again." _Her… _The realization started to sink in and was about to set free a whole flood of thoughts, but luckily Natsuki's continuation of speaking stopped Shizuru from drowning in her thoughts for now. "Because of Jun I slowly started to understand why my father was so desperate. I was devastated too, but I couldn't imagine how it must feel to lose the love of your life. But time changes people." She made a pause, shifting in the chair as if she felt uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, I'm not used to telling people about the story of my life…"

"Please, go on… I'm interested in y… I mean I am here to listen if you want to share…" Shizuru needed to concentrate sharply on fighting down the heat that was about to rise to her cheeks. But as Natsuki's gaze softened a little under her words, she felt much more comfortable about having stated the truth. With an almost invisible nod, Natsuki carried on.

"After she got married there wasn't a place for me in her life anymore. Her now-husband and I had never been on good terms with each other. I would have stood in the way of her life if I hadn't moved out of it. I couldn't be a truthful and honest friend after her attention was shifted elsewhere. I just couldn't bear the sight of her being happy with someone other than me. The scholarship was my chance to start a new life. I don't plan on ever going back. I have a whole lot of opportunities in front of me. "

Shizuru couldn't help, but Natsuki's eyes didn't give away that she was really happy with her life and how it was now. "However that doesn't mean that you don't have a past."

"I know. This house and Duran remind me every day of it, but complaining won't help, right?"

"I guess…" She had to admit that the raven-haired girl had good arguments.

"Don't make that face. It's not so bad. I have met some nice people here, don't you think?" The light smile on Natsuki's face was soon returned by Shizuru, and with a determined nod they both got back to work.

After half an hour had passed, Shizuru's paper was still blank as a mirror of her mind. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't concentrate. She had to admit this was a new kind of experience. Normally, she was one those students who could just turn off every distraction, but right now every breath of the beauty next to her seemed to be more interesting than their homework. The thoughts that had been cut off earlier were still pursuing her mind. She wanted to know more about that Jun-person. Who she was and how close they really were. _If there was more between them than friendship I need to know… Maybe I'm not imagining things. But if there was… what then?_

"That girl…" She started, not knowing if it would do any good to know the truth, but sticking to her plan seemed in vain by now anyways. Natsuki had just shared some very delicate details of her life with her. She just couldn't treat her like she didn't know her at all.

"Jun." The raven-haired girl corrected her as if calling her friend 'girl' was a disgrace.

"Were you like in love with her?" Shizuru unconsciously held her breath while she waited for an answer.

Natsuki was staring at the ground as she deliberated how to respond to the question. "I'm not sure if I know exactly what that means, but I cared about her more than anything else. So, probably yes."

"What about Takeda?" Shizuru really didn't want to go back to that topic again, but she couldn't help but be curious about the feelings of the raven-haired girl towards Masashi. She wanted to know for sure why Natsuki would bother to spend her time with her clumsy friend.

"I don't know. I care about him. But it's different." Shizuru had to admit that it might be pretty bad to be relieved about the answer, given the fact that Takeda was a valuable friend, but somehow she had secretly hoped that Natsuki wouldn't be too affectionate. It might not be right to think this about a friend, but after everything she knew about the mysterious girl by now, she was thinking all the more that her spikey haired friend wasn't worthy to earn the love of someone like Natsuki.

"Well, love can have many forms." Shizuru said, trying not give away any of her mean thoughts.

"You think so? I don't." The sudden change in Natsuki's gaze from sadness to seriousness had Shizuru stunned for a second. "Maybe the thousand fictions I've read have influenced me and buried me under a dreamlike sheet of hope, but I believe there is only one true form that might be disguised in thousands of feelings and emotions, but love itself… The word you know, there's no plural to it. I think that isn't coincidence. I think love is the strongest force on earth. Well, at least I like to believe it. People always need something to believe in. I guess I'm no different."

"You are different. Believe me." Was the only thing that came to Shizuru's mind after another mind blowing monologue from the apparently not so silent girl. Right now, she had the feeling of knowing Natsuki her whole life. Or maybe she just wished she would have met her sooner.

"Oh I get that a lot." The emerald eyes focused back on the sheet of paper.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way."

"I know." The chuckling made clear that Natsuki didn't take the comment in a bad way. She was expecting the girl to go on with the homework, but instead was asked another question: "How long have you and Reito been together?"

"Almost four years." She somehow felt relieved that she could answer so fast after rethinking that topic under the shower that morning. _Right, the shower this morning… the plan. Cautious, Shizuru, cautious. I'm doing quite the opposite here. Deepening the bond wasn't part of distancing myself from her._

"That's a very long time. It must be nice." Natsuki said, not looking up.

"Yes, he's nice. He's always there to support me." Trying to convince the other girl of how happy she was, she even failed to convince herself at the moment.

"Is it love?" The bluntness was to be expected by now, but still Shizuru fumbled for an adequate answer. Of course, she knew what the answer must be, but then she found it hard to say it aloud in the company of the raven-haired girl.

"I…"

"I'm sorry. It's a bit too personal. Should we get back to work?" Natsuki seemed to sense the uneasiness, and thankfully let her of the hook.

Once more they focused back on the by now seemingly impossible task of their homework. While Natsuki had already scribbled down some things, Shizuru was still on the edge of desperation. The white paper was practically screaming back to her, and all she could think about was her odd behavior when she was around the raven-haired girl. It would have been much easier to decipher if Natsuki was a guy, but the fact that she was a girl made her thoughts ram against a wall. She just couldn't imagine how on earth she could be so intrigued by the same sex all of a sudden. _Maybe it isn't a gender thing at all. Maybe I'm mistaking friendship with something else… or maybe I really do have a crush on her… Oh my god! _Even thinking something like that made her feel horrible towards Reito. She had never before thought of having a crush on someone other than him. She could barely remember how she felt at the beginning of their relationship, but to state the truth, she still knew how it felt to be interested in someone. And with every second she let the thought flood her body, the more sure she was that she was indeed a bit too fond of the other girl for her own liking, let alone for the liking of anybody else. Trying to avoid any more thoughts of that kind, she put the pencil down in annoyance, which earned her a concerned glance from the other girl. Shizuru wanted to give a reasonable response that didn't reveal the realization she had just experienced. "I am no good at this stuff. I am just not a creative person. Sure I can analyze poems, but writing is a completely different thing."

"You only need to think of a topic. Without that it's hard to have good ideas." Shizuru gave back a light nod, relieved that the other girl didn't seem to notice the turmoil that was going on inside her head.

The floor clock mercilessly ticked the time away while the sun slowly started to sink. Shizuru still hadn't produced anything useful other than slowly destroying her relationship with her weird thoughts. As much as she had wished just to brush off the topic, she was well aware that it wouldn't be that easy. She wanted to be sure, if it was only her or if the other girl did have strange thoughts about her, too. The situation in the rain still confused her, and she wasn't a hundred percent sure what to make of. If there was anything at all between them, she needed to know for sure. _Because if there is… I need to fight against it by all means…_

"Natsuki…" She started with a slightly shaking voice.

"Mhm?" The other girl didn't look her in the eye, as if she knew that something unpleasant was coming.

"Last night under the tree…" Shizuru made a slight pause, which gave Natsuki the chance to stop her from ending the sentence "Sorry, about that. I was way too drunk." An unpleasant silence followed the response of the biker girl, before Shizuru commented:

"Oh… I see." She was a bit flustered by the answer. She hadn't expected the other girl to be so untouched by the topic, and somehow it made her angry. She might be a bit out of it lately, but she wasn't completely blind. Natsuki surely wasn't that drunk. Although Shizuru did it practically all the time, there was one thing she didn't like, and that was being lied to. Especially when she was ready to embarrass herself in front of somebody. She wouldn't let the other girl get away so easily. _She wanted me to be more honest? Fine…_

"I'm sorry. I really don't want to bother you with my strange thoughts. But I have to get some things of my chest. The truth is… you make me insecure. I don't know what is between us, but it needs to stop." The words had left her mouth like thunder. She didn't mean to sound so angry, but she had to admit that she wasn't in full control of herself. The reaction of Natsuki being only a nod clearly showed that the speech had quite an impact on the other girl. There was no fighting or reasoning her statement away. She could see how the other girl tried to hide the emptiness in her gaze as if she already regretted letting another human see through her icy shell. The sight pained Shizuru, but she just couldn't let anything like that happen. She was in a relationship. With that thought in mind, she tried to at least sweeten the blow a little.

"I mean. I like spending time with you and I feel alive being around you, but I'm scared." Not sure if the words were really what the raven-haired girl wanted to hear right now, Shizuru could no longer look into the dazzling green eyes.

"What are you afraid of?" Natsuki asked lowly, trying to catch her gaze once more. Shizuru didn't even know how they suddenly had such an intense conversation. _We shouldn't even be thinking about something like this, let alone talking. _There was no use in denying what was obviously said by now, but she still felt the need to correct the situation. She let the words just flow out of her mouth, hoping that Natsuki would understand.

"I'm afraid that I might like it too much… I don't know… ever since you came into my life things between Reito and me became strange, and it's not his fault. It's mine." It was true. She really didn't blame the other girl, but still being around her only seemed to make things more complicated. How was she supposed ignore these feelings, and get over them when every second she spent with Natsuki drew herself in even more.

"Why are you here then? To hear the story of my life before you tell me that you don't want to see me anymore?" The anger and bitterness in Natsuki's cold voice stung deeply, Shizuru instantly felt the need to take back her words, but she knew that it wouldn't be right. The other girl had every right to ask these questions. Shizuru didn't have an adequate answer and therefore just babbled ahead.

"Yes… No… Maybe… I don't know. I shouldn't be here… I need to go. I'm sorry. I really have no idea how to explain myself. I don't know what I am thinking myself. It's like…" She paused and looked away to hide the embarrassment. "I don't know… you're in my inappropriate thoughts." She deeply inhaled, feeling most stupid. "And I surely didn't come here to embarrass myself."

"Fine. Then go." The bitterness was almost graspable. Shizuru turned her head to face the other girl, but Natsuki had her eyes closed as if she was in pain. "Leave." It was merely a whisper, but the force of it, felt like something inside the crimson-eyed beauty was breaking.

"Natsuki…" Purely acting on her instincts now, she reached out for the other girl.

"Don't." Natsuki's voice was still cold but stronger and determined now. "Don't do that, please."

"Do what? It's only a touch." She said with a little hint of regret in her voice, trying to explain her action.

"No... It is the borderline between reality and fantasy." Natsuki stared at her with a look in her eyes that Shizuru couldn't read at all. She didn't know what to say or do anymore. The only thing she knew was that if she would stay here a second longer, she wouldn't be able to control herself anymore. _I need to get out of here. Now! _She tore her eyes away, and hastily grabbed her stuff before storming out of the house, unhindered by the raven-haired girl who was still sitting at the table staring into the emptiness of the already dark room.

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><p><strong>AN: **First off: Thanks to all my anonymous reviewers. I never get to say thank you because I can't reply to you. I'm really happy about all kind of resonance. It's really encouraging me to write this story. I'm looking forward to your opinions on this chapter in the hopes that you can sacrifice a minute to drop a review.

So we finally got to know something about Natsuki's past. Let's hope Shizuru will come to appreciate Natsuki's trust the in the future.


	10. Strongest Weakness

"_**The world's spinning, but I'm focused on you."**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: You know it already, right? It's fanfiction...so no I don't own the characters.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10 – Strongest Weakness<strong>

The days passed by in a haze of frustration and guilt. After Shizuru had left the house of the girl that had turned her world upside down within a blink of an eye, nothing seemed to settle her. She felt beyond restless and was seriously thinking of going on a short vacation like visiting her parents although she was rather certain this would pull on her nerves even more.

Unspoken thoughts were forcing their way through the depths of her mind whenever she wasn't sidetracked or seriously busy. The completion of her homework turned into mere torture, and the whole time she wasn't entirely sure if she didn't deserve it after behaving like an asshole around the raven-haired girl. Deep inside she knew that she should face her _fears_… At least that was what she called the various emotions and feelings that were transmitted through her twisted thoughts. It seemed like a proper description for all the things that were building up inside of her. And it wasn't a complete lie; above everything else she felt fear was the most dominant feeling. Of course, she didn't really dig into that topic much because it would have probably caused a spiral that she'd rather not go down. She still had her mind set on concentrating on her studies and her relationship with Reito. She wanted to be a good girlfriend again, and she also wanted to be a better friend for Takeda. These aims sounded so rational and easy that she didn't allow her mind to doubt even one of them for a second. _Natsuki is a normal person after all, a new student and nothing more than a friend. Wait, let's say acquaintance._ She repeated the thoughts over and over as if she had to learn them for an upcoming test. Only the homework task somehow seemed to be ought to trick her mind on that matter ever so often. She was sitting in front of the blank paper for hours, remembering how Natsuki had told her that she should think of a specific topic. But every time she tried to think of something adequate, her thoughts went down memory lane to the various odd moments she had shared with the emerald-eyed beauty. The pen in her hand even had started to scribble down some words on its own during her thinking process, but as soon as she read and comprehended them the piece of paper was crumpled and sent off flying into the bin to her right. It just felt so wrong to write such things down when Reito was sitting next to her on the couch every now and then contently smiling at her. Luckily he didn't really question why she hadn't finished the homework with Natsuki as he was busy with his own studies. After hours of struggle, she had finally written down a crappy short poem about the good old blithe school time. She felt completely silly, but she didn't allow her brain to go in any other direction than the faraway past. It currently seemed to be the only safe place in her mind.

The campus wasn't as full with people as Shizuru had expected it to be on a Tuesday morning, but a look at her watch reminded her that most students might be in class right now since the first lesson had already started. The Kyoto-girl however wasn't here for attending morning classes, but to hand in her homework just in time. She was at ease that Mrs. Bradstone's class wouldn't take place this week because the teacher wanted to sort students out by their poems first.

Right now, Shizuru wasn't really sure if she would completely mind being excluded from the class as she knew that she would have to see Natsuki on an occasional basis. _What's the big deal anyway? She's a fellow student. Attending the same class doesn't make us close or anything. Plus, I need the credits for that class. I'm sure it'll be great… _For her to have to convince herself so badly was a complete new experience. Usually she was a master in convincing others, but trying that talent out on herself, she had to admit, didn't work as well as she wanted it to. Feeling the strong need for a hopefully calming tea, the crimson-eyed beauty decided to stop by the cafeteria.

Right after she had her favorite flavored pot in her hands she heard a familiar voice calling her name. Scanning the masses for the origin of the disturbance, she eventually found the wide smiling boy.

"Good morning Takeda-kun." She said with a light smile as she sat herself opposite to him on the small round table next to the huge windows at the very end of the room.

"Good morning, Shizuru. You look fabulous." The smile never left the face of the boy as he watched her intently. _He's obviously not very perceptive…_

"Ara, someone's in a good mood." Her voice and smile were flawless, just like in the good old days. She felt as if nothing was able to destroy her re-adjusted façade. Of course, she didn't really feel like sitting around Takeda at times like this, but her newly set aims reminded her that she was ought to be a better friend, and so she tried to use the happenstance to give it a shot.

"In fact I am. Look it's a beautiful morning and Kendo practice was cancelled for today." He pointed overly motivated at the window. Shizuru followed Takeda's gesture only to be polite. She had already seen that the sun had risen yet again, but during her current mental fighting that kept on day and night she couldn't care less. But suddenly her thoughts started to connect random information and formed them into something that she would rather not think of, but the need to know already got a hold of her. _He hasn't reached the next level yet, has he?_

"And I bet it has something to do with a certain raven-haired beauty, ne Takeda-kun?" _Why do I have to bring her up when she is the topic I want to avoid the most?_

"Umm, yeah. Right. I'm taking Natsuki to dinner." The boy turned slightly red under the mention of her, and she couldn't help but be reminded of Natsuki at that sight. She tried to imagine Takeda and Natsuki sitting in a restaurant, blushing madly over just sitting at the same table. She had a hard time controlling her facial features as she somehow didn't want Natsuki to blush over such a silly thing. _I really need to snap out of it. _The attempt of acting normal didn't really show in her next comment though.

"You really are easy to please." _Idiot… Natsuki really could do better than him. _Catching herself on having such mean thoughts towards her friend, Shizuru instantly mentally scolded herself. _What is wrong with me… He's a friend. I should be more encouraging towards him._

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?" Takeda wasn't sure what to make of the words. They seemed to be an insult, but it was always hard to tell when they came in the form of such a melodic voice.

"Nothing." Shizuru said, as she smiled away the meaning of her previous comment. "So, how are things going between the two of you? Reito told me that you want to take your relationship to the next level." _Disgusting… _Although she didn't really want to go anywhere near that area, she couldn't fight her curiosity. The image of Takeda and Natsuki just seemed too unreal to her, especially after she found out that the girl doesn't really know what to think of love or how to draw the line. _Look the expert is talking here… _Shizuru let out an exasperated sigh while Takeda had turned into another shade of red.

Shaking the annoyance off, she gave him a warm smile. "Listen Takeda, Natsuki really is special. You should try to get over your insecurities if you want your relationship to proceed." Shizuru was beyond stunned hearing these words come out of her own mouth. Being a good friend was one thing, but encouraging Takeda was another. _But maybe that's a good way for Natsuki and me to find common ground again…_

"What… what do you mean? Did she mention anything to you about me?" The worried look on the boy's face let Shizuru almost pity him. Almost…

"Mh?" She asked nonchalantly before continuing on to reach her goal of being a good friend. "Oh, I didn't mean it in a bad way. She cares for you." It left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth, but it wasn't a lie. To be precise, it was Natsuki's words. "I'm just saying that if you want to bring your relationship forward, you probably should make the first step. You're the boy after all." _What the hell am I talking about? I am nuts. That's it. For sure. Being a friend doesn't mean that I have to encourage him to do this or that… I get the feeling that I don't get the meaning of friendship at all. Or love… or anything. Oh no, let's not go there…_

"You're right!" Luckily Takeda's determined shout let her snap out of her thoughts rather roughly.

"I'm right?" She asked a bit flustered as she found herself back in reality again. She had become so used to her world of inner struggle lately that she was sometimes surprised that there was actually a world outside of her mind.

"Yes!" He shouted a little too eager as he jumped up with his hand balled into a victorious fist. "I should act like I'm the one in control for once." _That sounds so wrong…_

"Sit down and keep your voice down, idiot! I am trying to study here." A girl who sat on the table across growled at him. Shizuru mentally high-fived her, as Takeda slid back down fairly embarrassed.

"Thank you, Shizuru. You're a true friend." _The best…_

"Ara, if Takeda thinks so, I'm honored." She replied with a weak smile, still not believing her own idiotic behavior.

"Okay, I will take her to dinner, and after that I will bring her home, and then…" She cut Takeda off before he would trigger any hidden gag effect, and tried to stop him from going on a roll. "Okay okay, Don Juan. No more details please." She inserted a girlish giggle where actually should be disgusted cursing.

"Oh sorry, sure." He sat down, rubbing the back of his head with slight embarrassment over his sudden outburst of confidence.

"Takeda…" Shizuru said, trying to sound nonchalant in contrast to her mental distress.

"Mh?" Still in his own thoughts of how to act self-confident in front of the stunning beauty of his girlfriend, he eyed Shizuru curiously.

"Just be sure to look out for signals." She simply said, trying not to sound suspicious. She was worried for Natsuki, and maybe also a bit for herself. _What if she doesn't want this at all? I mean she did make it pretty clear that she had problems with being touched… or maybe just with being touched by me…_ Shaking the thoughts out of her head, she took some deep breaths.

"Signals?" When Takeda's question came Shizuru was mentally prepared for it. She knew she had to stick through this conversation somehow, and if she wanted to continue being a good friend she should get used to these things.

"Yes. I mean considering Natsuki's past and what she has been through you should try to be extra sensitive." _If not, I'll kick your ass personally… Ara, I mean it would not be right to force any woman into something she doesn't want... Anyhow…_

"Yeah, maybe you're right. Although I'm quite sure that she would rather make me realize with her fist if I do anything she doesn't like." Shizuru couldn't hide a pleased smile over the imagination, but was quick to cover it under her mask of politeness.

"I'm just saying because she had some pretty bad experiences with love and stuff, if you think of her issues towards her mother and that friend of hers."

Takeda nodded as if he wanted to agree silently, thereby he unintentionally gave Shizuru a wrong impression, and so the chestnut-haired girl continued.

"I think she really had a hard time after her mother had left her and her dad to herself, and not having any more contact to her childhood friend Jun doesn't make it any better." Throughout the whole talking process, Takeda only nodded frantically while he watched Shizuru with observing eyes.

"I don't have a clue what you're talking about." He finally said oblivious of the fact that his words sent Shizuru into a living hell.

"What?!" The Kyoto-girl spat a little ungracefully for her usual demeanor after the realization of what she had just done started to sink in.

"Who is Jun and what happened to Natsuki's mother?" Takeda asked innocently still not knowing what was going on behind the calm façade.

_Oh dear god…_ Shizuru's thoughts were racing almost painfully from disbelief back to sheer horror. _That stupid wimp! How could he trick me into telling him those things! He made me believe that he already knew all of this stuff, only to lure me out! And Natsuki, why didn't she tell him about her past?! I thought he was her boyfriend!_ She sighed deeply, but it didn't cease the pain at all. _Shifting the guilt won't help anymore. The damage is already done… Why did she only tell me that stuff to begin with… Why only me… Why me… Damn it! I really screwed up badly this time. I need to call her. Shit, I don't have her number, and asking Takeda now would be odd… Crap! What should I do?_ She started looking as if she could find an answer somewhere in the crowded cafeteria.

Takeda patiently watched Shizuru for a while, giving her time to contemplate an answer, but when the chestnut-haired girl didn't respond at all, he eventually spoke again. "Ne Shizuru, are you okay? You look a bit pale."

Shizuru was still lost for words, and the dark-haired boy started to doubt that she had heard his question at all. Following the gaze of the crimson-eyed beauty he started to look over the masses himself, catching sight of the supposed reason for Shizuru's uneasiness.

"Ah, I see..." He smirked, an action that the Kyoto-girl didn't understand at all in such a precarious situation. "Really, Shizuru. I thought after such a long time you would finally get over your jealousy."

"Huh?" The words rubbed her in the completely wrong place, but before she could question the stupidity of the boy any further Takeda enlightened her.

"Reito isn't interested in Mai anymore. He only has eyes for you. We were still in school when he had a crush on her. Although I think Tate is just as ridiculous as you." _What on earth is he talking about all of a sudden?_

Only when Takeda started waving into a particular direction she finally noticed the presence of the busty read-head next to her tall dark-haired boy. Shizuru felt even worse when she didn't instantly recognize them as Reito and Mai. Usually she would have spotted her boyfriend and the girl miles away. Takeda's words weren't a complete lie, or at least they haven't been.

Shizuru was still speechless. Her mind was so busy that it couldn't verbalize anything that would make sense right now. She couldn't do anything but stare as Mai and Reito waved back before slowly coming over to them. She looked at them waiting for the familiar sting of jealousy that would bug her whenever she saw the two of them alone. But much to her displeasure it never came. _Maybe over the years I really finally have become used to it…_

"Hello guys, what a nice surprise." Reito said, charming as ever.

"Same to you." came the reply from his best friend. Mai only smiled and sat down next to Takeda bringing some space between her and the tall dark-haired boy. She had noticed that Shizuru was looking a bit stressed out, and she wasn't completely sure if it was a good idea to stand so close to Reito right now. It wasn't a big secret that Shizuru didn't like the idea of the two of them alone, after all, Reito was her ex even if it was ages ago. She figured that the Kyoto-girl was a person who would be careful around possible threats. She always had perceived Shizuru as rather possessive, although she didn't quite show it in the open.

"Hey beautiful. Are you alright?" The honey-eyed boy asked worried as he bent down to plaster a kiss on Shizuru's pale cheeks.

"Yeah, sure. The tea just tastes a bit odd." She knew it was silly, but it was the first thing that came to her mind.

"Oh okay, knowing you for that long I can tell something like that can really ruin your day." He laughed and Takeda and Mai soon joined. Only Shizuru couldn't bring herself to more than a fake smile that would hopefully be enough because right now she doubted she was able to do more than that.

"Let's postpone our talk some other time. I need to go. Natsuki will be pissed if I'm late. See you guys." Takeda tossed in, unintentionally helping to avert the attention from Shizuru.

"I need to go too. I have classes in a few. I'm sorry sweetheart, but we'll see each other later, right?"

Shizuru nodded slightly, and said her goodbye to Takeda.

"It was nice talking to you, Mai. Let's do that again some time." Reito said with a smile before giving Shizuru a quick peck on her mouth as farewell.

Mai and Shizuru remained alone at the table, both feeling not quite comfortable although they had no idea that they had completely other things in mind. Eventually Mai was the one who spoke first.

"So how are things going?"

_Great, I just betrayed the trust of… an acquaintance. _Shizuru didn't really know what to answer and the silence triggered Mai to explain herself when it wasn't necessary at all.

"You know, Reito and I just met by coincidence and we had a coffee together. It wasn't really planned or anything…" The red-head stuttered a bit nervously, knowing that having someone like the former student-council president as her opponent wasn't a very fun thing.

"It's okay. I wasn't thinking anything like that. It's completely okay." As she spoke the words, it felt like the first honest words for a long time.

"It is?" Sure Mai was glad, but it also made her question the taller girl's mood even more.

"Is it really so odd to trust your boyfriend?" _or to not care at all… _The bewitching voice had a certain edge to it and somehow it let the other girl feel stupid over accusing Shizuru of jealousy. Mai had never understood why Shizuru Fujino would be threatened by someone like her.

"No, of course not. You just look a bit troubled, and I thought… Well, anyway. If that isn't a problem I don't want to make it one." Mai laughed nervously. The Kyoto-girl was somewhat scary today and Mai had no idea what was wrong if it wasn't a matter of jealousy.

Shizuru gave the red-head a fake smile. She wasn't in the mood for chit-chat, she had serious problems, and no one in the world she could talk to about them. Well, she technically could talk about them to Natsuki, but she doubted that was the brightest idea.

"Takeda looked happy. Are things going smooth between him and his girlfriend?" The busty girl asked to break the awkward silence.

"Natsuki." Shizuru said absent-mindedly.

"Huh?" Mai wasn't completely sure what the other girl meant.

"She has a name. It's a bit weird to call her Takeda's girlfriend, don't you think?" _I don't like the sound of it… _"After all, she's a friend now."

"That's why I'm asking. You two are getting along very well."

"I'm trying to integrate her. That's all." _Geez, Mai always gets exaggerated about everything._ Shizuru frowned on her own thoughts. Since when had she become so mean towards her friends? Sure, she always wore the mask of politeness around everyone even if they annoyed her to no end, but usually she would not be thinking really badly about her friends. Today just seemed to be a complete failure, and she really wished she'd stayed in bed, although the images and thoughts of the raven-haired girl were much worse in bed.

"Well anyways, it's good that you also have someone close to you now." Mai's voice sounded as if she was finally about to let the topic go, but Shizuru couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at that odd comment. Her opposite noticed the look, and gave her a reassuring smile before explaining.

"I mean Akane and I have always been pretty close. We never wanted you to feel left out, but it's hard to have more than one best friend. So, it's good that Takeda finally managed to find someone for you."

"That sounds so wrong…" _Does it?_ She tried to chuckle her weird thoughts away, but Mai's response kind of caught her off-guard.

"What are you bi-curious now?" The comment was meant as a joke, but when Shizuru suddenly let slip her mask for a second Mai wasn't sure what to make of the face of her opposite.

"Are you serious?" Mai said lowly and a tad worried.

"Ara, Mai, you're suggesting rather strange things. How did it come up anyway?" The crimson eyes were staring deep into light purple ones as if she was trying to cast a spell, and somehow it worked.

"I guess you're right. Not to mention that it would be totally weird."

"I didn't think you were a homophobic, Mai-san." _Why can't I just knock it off! It's not like I'm looking for some kind of reassurance or something that being gay is okay. I'd rather have the opposite…_

"What? I was saying it would be weird if you were to cheat on Reito with the girlfriend of his best friend." _Shoot! Of course she didn't mean the same gender thing, but that doesn't make it any less bad. _

Shizuru had no idea how to get out of this ridiculous conversation. She didn't even know how she slipped in. It was probably her own fault as she didn't seem to be able to block that topic out of her head. There was no helping it. There was only one thing she could do at a moment like that.

The sudden outburst of laughter wasn't really something that stood out in the loud cafeteria, but to Mai it was like seeing a monsoon in a desert. She had known Shizuru for quite some time, but never had she seen the usually composed girl having a fit of laughter like that. Sure the Kyoto-girl chuckled, smiled, or even giggled sometimes, but laughing… Either something was really wrong, or the tea was somehow drugged. Before Mai got the chance to think of a good way to approach the seemingly insane girl, Shizuru started speaking while trying to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry Mai… haha… Do you listen to yourself sometimes? It just sounded completely hilarious."

Thinking back on her last words, Mai had to admit that it indeed sounded completely ludicrous. She didn't even know why they started having such an odd conversation. All she knew was that she was relieved that the girl wasn't mad at her because of Reito, and that a laughing Shizuru was a nice and refreshing view. It wasn't long before she chuckled along.

_Mission accomplished._ The chestnut-haired girl was relieved to see that her tactic had indeed worked, although she felt completely idiotic laughing like this, but sometimes the end justifies the means.

After Shizuru had said her goodbye to Mai due to her afternoon classes, she made a beeline to the washrooms. She felt a strong need to splash some water in her face as if to wash off the fake and inept smile.

When two annoyingly giggling girls had left the washroom, she used the privacy to take a look in the mirror. Crimson eyes were staring back at her. They looked rather dull, only the paleness of her face made them stand out. _Takeda really isn't perceptive…_ The thoughts of what she'd done earlier came slowly back to her, and she felt her heart sink at them. The chit-chat from outside the washroom seemed to fade as she slowly started to feel dizzy. She quickly splashed some water in her face and watched the glistening drops rolling down her face.

As her cell phone went off with an abnormal sounding loud ringtone, she almost bumped into the mirror head first. Looking at the Caller-ID her heartbeat began to speed up slightly as it was an unknown number. She had a slight feeling though about who the unknown caller was. She almost shakily brought the phone to her ear.

"Hello, this is Shizuru Fujino speaking." _Why on earth am I so frightened anyway?_

There was a long silence, so that Shizuru could even hear the static on the line along with what seemed to be heavy breathing.

"How dare you?" came the enraged husky voice that the chestnut-haired girl recognized in an instant. She really felt as if her knees would give out in any second now. She could only imagine how Natsuki would look right now. But the thought of those stunning green eyes being enraged because of her freaked her out a little.

"Natsuki, I…"

"That's Kuga-san to you as I have mistaken our… relationship towards each other to be friendship or… whatever!" The way the other girl had said the word 'relationship' let Shizuru gulp. There was a short pause and Shizuru desperately searched for the right words, but sadly she had to admit that there were none. What should she say? That she told Takeda about Natsuki's past by accident? Even thinking about it sounded stupid. "I want you to stay the fuck out of my life. Starting now. I regret that I told you those things about me when I knew you were friends with Takeda. I'll be sure not to make such a mistake again."

"Listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" She was cut off as she heard a click. Shizuru knew that Natsuki had ended the call. The words rang in her head surrounded by an unnatural silence. There were noises from outside the washroom, but none of them reached her ears. She felt like crying. Why on earth would she cry over such a thing? Being so angry at that thought, she couldn't help it as some tears watered her eyes slightly. It was hard to hold back a sob, but she wouldn't be so weak to cry in front of somebody. Her eyes went back to her reflection. _Who's this person inside the mirror? _She wasn't sure, but right now she could have sworn that her mirror-image was looking at her with strange eyes, and she hated the way it judged her.

She took another look at her cell phone, contemplating if she should call the angry girl back. After all, she had the number now, although it was a fair bit too late. She knew that a text message would most likely be inappropriate on such an occasion. Ready to dial the number, she suddenly paused. The thought of the distant and angry voice of the raven-haired girl somehow stopped her fingers, and she couldn't bring herself to call back. _She must feel like I've completely betrayed her. And somehow I have… I can't believe I even gave Takeda advise to go light on her because of her trust issues, and now I am to one who shattered her already cracked trust… I feel horrible. If that even means anything anymore. After all, I've felt horrible for quite a while now. I guess it's a good thing that she hates me now. That should make things a lot easier between us… I mean between her and me…_

The days past by without another sign of the raven-haired girl, and for some odd reason Shizuru also hadn't heard much from Takeda either. She wanted to ask Reito without ostentation, but decided that it would be better to let it go. She knew it was her chance to recover from the little… crush. Yes, after days of thinking, not sleeping, denying, and a lot more thinking, Shizuru finally had brought herself to admit the feelings she once had towards the girl were at least some sort of crush. Although, she still felt uncomfortable using that word while she was in a relationship, and Natsuki being a girl didn't make it any better either.

Reito and she had spent a lot of time apart lately which was mostly due to Shizuru's lack of interest, or need of privacy as she called it to tame his and also her own nerves. She just felt as if she needed some time off; from life, from him, and if possible mostly from herself. Of course, she hadn't said it like that. More like in a 'I am busy'-way, because otherwise she was sure Reito would most likely assume the wrong things. That apparently being not so wrong at all, she was still determined to go through with this. The opportunity was too good to let it slip away. She could use the space between herself and Natsuki to recover completely, although 'recover' was probably a bit extreme. It wasn't as if she was wounded or anything. _But maybe Natsuki is… _That thought seemed to be even more persistent than her reoccurring dreams she was cursing every morning, involving a tight leather-suit tossed to the ground. She wanted to forget about the biker yes, but after all, they had started some kind of friendship, and it was okay to be worried for a friend, wasn't it?

Tired as hell, Shizuru walked through her most feared destination. She had been tossing and turning all night while Reito was sound asleep next to her. She had invited him on purpose in the hopes he would be able to distract her from her built up fear of Mrs. Bradstone's Literature class, but of course he wasn't a big help as the poor boy had no idea what Shizuru was so moody about. She had even thought of staying home and pretending to be ill, but felt too stupid to stick to the plan in reality. She wouldn't lose her dignity. After all, she was a Fujino. _For whatever that's worth…_

The hallway was crowded with people, and Shizuru could feel her feet getting slower. _Enough!_ She mentally scolded herself. She was a master of composure, and with that in mind she tugged a strand of her chestnut-hair behind her ear, and entered the classroom. Although she had promised she wouldn't look out for a particular individual, she couldn't stop her eyes from briefly scanning the room. As the raven-haired girl was nowhere to be seen, she let out a relieved sigh.

Usually, she would sit herself in one of the front rows, but the thought of having hatred-filled emerald daggers on her back the whole time wasn't very inviting. And so she took a seat in the last row, knowing that this would give her the feeling of being in control for once. And she liked being in control.

The class started, and Mrs. Bradstone began checking the attendance list. Natsuki was still not there. The name being called without reply proved what Shizuru already knew by now. _So she is not here on purpose. Her name is on the list which means she passed the homework-test. _The Kyoto-girl noticed the somewhat irritated look on her teacher's face when she called out Natsuki's name, but only shook her head in incomprehension. When Mrs. Bradstone was about to start her lesson after she had given back the poems to her students, one of the doors on the left flew suddenly open with a loud bang causing a girl next to said door to literally jump out of her seat. Shizuru instantly knew that only one student would have the guts to be so imprudent.

Raven-black hair flew through the air as the girl raced towards an empty seat in the front row. Not once had she looked around the room in search of crimson orbs, although Shizuru was quite sure that the biker knew she was there.

Naturally, Mrs. Bradstone wouldn't let something like this go through unnoticed, and Shizuru already felt sorry for Natsuki.

"You have nerves to disturb my class like that, Ms. …?" The words were sharp as daggers.

"Kuga." Natsuki said unimpressed while she leaned back, looking amazingly cool.

"Kuga?" Mrs. Bradstone's brow furrowed, and Shizuru had no idea why. "Kuga Natsuki?" The teacher asked as if she would know that name very well. To the amazement of the whole class the unimpressed girl only nodded. They were all irritated to see their teacher relax. "Be sure to be on time for the future." She added before turning away and starting the lesson for real this time. Some jaws dropped, but nobody even dared to start mumbling.

Shizuru had a hard time focusing on the lesson, as she found herself distracted by Natsuki's every movement. It was as if her eyes were glued on the figure of the raven-haired girl. She really liked the teaching of Mrs. Bradstone, and the topics were interesting as well, but somehow the sight of Natsuki shifting her weight from time to time or flipping back a strand of her silky black hair was just as fascinating. It was exhausting to fight the urge to look at the girl, and Shizuru was already tired enough due to the lack of sleep from last night. When the people around her started to get moving, she hardly snapped out of her daze. Only when Natsuki stood up, she almost jumped up from her feet. She wanted to get out of the room before she would get a death glare, because she was pretty sure she wouldn't handle that too well.

"Ms. Kuga, I'd like to have a word with you." The words from Mrs. Bradstone were said rather silently, but as soon as Shizuru had heard Natsuki's name, she couldn't help but being interested.

_Of course, someone like Mrs. Bradstone wouldn't let Natsuki get away with something like that so easily. But it was indeed nice that she didn't embarrass her in front of the whole class. _

Unaware that the situation in the front had caused her to slow down her packing, she was a bit shocked to see that she was one of the last students in the room, outside of Natsuki and their teacher of course. And although she hadn't planned on eavesdropping, Mrs. Bradstone's voice was now loud enough for her to be able to understand every word.

"Under normal circumstances I would have kicked you out of my class instantly, Ms. Kuga." The teacher said composedly. Natsuki didn't seem to have to say anything in her defense, and Shizuru couldn't help but be impressed. If she would have been in that situation she would mentally cry while trying to convince the teacher with one of her flawless smiles and her alluring Kyoto-ben to forgive her just this once. _Maybe that would work on Natsuki, too. _Shaking the thought instantly off as she realized that Natsuki would probably see right through her façade, Shizuru slowly made her way towards the door on the right.

"I'll let you get away with it just this once…" The teacher made a slight pause and started searching her bag, eventually fumbling out a sheet of paper. " … because your homework was by far the best poem I've read in years." She said before handing it over to her student with a warm smile. "Despite your appearance you actually seem to have great talent. The scholarship isn't wasted at all I suppose."

Shizuru could hear Natsuki making an annoyed huff before the girl turned around, heading for a door on the left side of the room, still seemingly not noticing the Kyoto-girl at all. She was a bit surprised to hear the sound of crumbling paper, and even more when she saw Natsuki tossing her praised homework in the bin next to the door. Feeling a bit paralyzed by the events, Shizuru couldn't help but being flustered when Mrs. Bradstone suddenly spoke to her.

"May I help you?" The teacher didn't seem to have noticed Natsuki's action at all.

"Ara, no thanks. I was just about to leave." She answered politely. Being too tired to restrain herself any longer, Shizuru started heading towards the directions the raven-haired girl had left. She stopped by the gray bin and took a quick peek. The crumbled paper was on top of it, and in one quick but graceful movement, Shizuru had picked it out. She could hear Mrs. Bradstone exiting the room on the other side, and was glad to have an opportunity to get a glimpse of Natsuki's work.

The Kyoto-girl knew it wasn't right, but the girl was giving her hell and she needed to know what was going on inside of her tormentor's head. She was afraid to find a hymn of hatred on the white sheet but instead she found something completely different.

**Strongest weakness**

Forget the world and come with me

To the edge of sanity

Beside all anguish and desire

I'm willing to wander into fire

The heart is weak the mind is strong

Is there a right in all the wrong?

Such a simple thing as you and me

Is haunted by a 'shouldn't be'

I knew it well, I knew it all

But nothing matters once you fall.

The handwriting wasn't nearly as beautiful as the words, but still it sent Shizuru's heart on a short leap. She wasn't completely sure what to make of the poem, but she felt she had to go after the girl right now. There was no way around it. She had to, no, she wanted to talk to Natsuki so badly. To tell her that she was sorry. _Why is it so important to me what she thinks of me?_ Now wasn't the time to think of an answer as she needed to be concentrating on running down the hall without tripping. After all, walking faster than the word graceful would allow was something she hadn't done ever since she was freed from the P.E. lessons at school. When she was only a few feet away from the raven-haired girl, she abruptly stopped as her thoughts instantly reminded her of the distance she wanted to keep. However, it seemed her heart had other ideas in mind.

"Nat… Kuga-san…" She said, her voice not nearly as strong and confident as she had wanted it to be. It felt odd to call the girl by her last name, as Natsuki clearly was not a person she wanted to address so formally, but she didn't want to disturb the other girl's privacy any more than she already had.

Natsuki stopped her walking immediately but didn't turn around. If Shizuru was able to see the girl's face right now, she would have seen the emerald-eyes lighten up for the first time during the last few days; she would know that Natsuki was secretly happy to hear the strong Kyoto accent again, but staring at the back of the silent biker only made the crimson-eyed beauty more afraid.

The students around them slowly left the corridor for the next classes. Only a few remained in the hallway, and after what seemed like an eternity of just standing there silently, Shizuru found the courage to speak again.

"I wanted to apologize. I know you probably don't care anymore, but I just wanted you to know that I am deeply sorry for the mistake I've made." Her voice seemed almost broken, and it required a lot of willpower from Natsuki not to turn around, for she knew she would get weak once she looked into the pools of deep crimson.

Shizuru however, felt more helpless with every second that ticked away. The need to hear anything from the other girl became almost unbearable. "Why won't you talk to me? I was waiting for a sign for you ever since you cut me from your life. Every time my phone rings I silently hope it's a message from you… I feel horrible, don't you see that?" _Of course not, she isn't even looking at you, idiot!_ Shizuru was so angry that she had a hard time keeping her hands from shaking. She had no idea where that sudden outburst came from, and she regretted it instantly. She could see that all eyes were now on her as she apparently wasn't able to keep her voice down. She was sure that being sleep deprived combined with the ignorance of the other girl got to her. She wasn't herself. She never was one to go off so easily. This girl did something to her, and she didn't know how to fight it. All of her tactics and built-up walls were hushed away by the mere presence of Natsuki.

She let out a desperate sigh, making herself ready to leave, when she was suddenly grabbed by her wrist rather roughly. But before she could complain she was dragged back into the now empty classroom. Natsuki slammed the door behind them shut as if to tell the onlookers outside to fuck off.

Shizuru was completely startled, and needed to fight down the feeling of being trapped. She knew Natsuki wouldn't do anything to her… _Well, she certainly does something to me, but it's not necessarily something bad._

"I forgive you." Natsuki suddenly said out of the blue in her usual gruff tone, although her eyes were the complete opposite. They didn't look distant as Shizuru had feared them to be. Not at all, they seemed to emit a warmth that was floating through her whole body, causing her to give away one of her genuine smiles. She had almost thought she had lost that ability at all after last week. For some time, they were simply staring at each other, none of them daring to break the silence between them. Right now, no words were needed as they could see that both were glad to put an end to this cold war.

"Thank you." Shizuru finally said, her voice being back to its melodic self. She earned a short smile in response._ She looks beautiful when she smiles… Ara, I need to concentrate… _"I really felt miserable. I didn't mean to expose you in front of Takeda. It just… slipped." It sounded completely idiotic even to herself, and Natsuki seemed to feel the same as she raised a brow in disbelief. "I know it sounds stupid, but somehow Takeda gave away the impression of knowing about your past."

"It indeed sounds stupid. Especially the last part." Natsuki remarked.

Not really knowing what to say or how to explain things any further Shizuru found herself fumbling with her hands or better said what was in them. The crumbling sound let both, emerald and crimson stare at the white sheet of paper in Shizuru's hands.

Natsuki instantly snapped her head back up, giving her a death glare. The emerald eyes seemed to scream 'I take it back', but her lips remained sealed.

"It's not like that. I just…" Damn it! How am I to explain this? She just forgave me and now it looks like I have invaded her privacy again… But then… I have. Why? Why did I want to know so badly what was written on that paper? "Okay, I am an idiot. We know that already. But I am not an idiot with bad intentions."

"What intention did you have then?" The question wasn't expected by the Kyoto-girl, which clearly showed in her surprised eyes. She had to admit that she didn't know how to answer.

"I… I want to know you I guess." _Okay, that isn't a lie. Hopefully she'll understand I didn't mean any harm with reading the poem._

"You do know me." Natsuki said, sounding a little annoyed.

"I don't feel like it. You're a mystery to me."

"That's because you chose to be blind."

Shizuru opened her mouth wanting to say something in return, but nothing that made sense came to her mind, and so she eventually closed it. Nervously fumbling with the paper in her hand, she almost jumped when she felt Natsuki's hand on hers.

"I'd like to have that back." The raven-haired girl said as she slipped the paper away from Shizuru's hand, her fingertips lightly brushing her palm. An inaudible gulp followed the action, and the chestnut-haired girl had to restrain herself from saying out loud that she would have liked to keep the poem for whatever reasons, but instead she voiced what was nagging on her the most.

"The poem…" She started, paying close attention as the green eyes flickered somewhat afraid. "What is it about?" Her voice was low, but still it seemed to fill up the whole room.

"Why? Do you want to have a chitchat about that with Takeda, too?" Natsuki's voice suddenly became icy again, and Shizuru instantly took a step backwards. But the green eyes softened just as fast as they saw the guilt in their crimson counterpart.

"You're studying literature, too. You should be able to analyze such things." The raven-haired girl said, trying to sound nonchalant, although Shizuru was sure that the other girl was feeling a bit uncomfortable.

"It's always a matter on how you look at things… And there's rarely an opportunity to ask the author about their work and its true meaning. Usually we analyze things of people that are already dead, and so we'll never know for sure." The Kyoto-ben floated along with her words, bringing up a small smile from her opposite.

"I guess that's for the best then." Natsuki said before she attempted to turn around to make her leave. She was a bit surprised as she was stopped by Shizuru's hand grabbing hers, tugging on it ever so lightly to signal her to turn back. With quite an audible huff the raven-haired girl stopped her motion, but didn't turn back to face Shizuru.

Standing right behind Natsuki while still holding the girl's hand made her heart flutter. She felt as if little shocks of electricity were emitted through the slightly moving fingertips of her opposite.. It was hard to keep her composure, but she couldn't afford to be weak. She didn't dare. Shizuru's mouth opened slowly, still not letting go of Natsuki's hand.

"I'd say in the beginning the author is trying to convince someone important to them to trust them, and then stating that they're ready to turn their back on the world for that particular person if they would just follow them." Shizuru inhaled deeply as if she had to recover from the sound of her own voice. The words were pulling on her heart, and feeling the weight being this heavy she was more scared than ever before. Her mind was on high alert, but she had to do this or she would end up in a nuthouse in less than a week. "The wording is very metaphoric, but I believe the end is almost like an apology."

Natsuki stiffened lightly, before slowly turning back to the chestnut-haired girl whose head hung low, her deep red eyes well hidden behind her bangs.

"So what's your conclusion then?" The husky voice causing Shizuru to look up, sounded a bit frightened, but still not weak, and Shizuru really did not know how Natsuki managed to be like that. _Is she really so strong or am I just that weak? But I can't be… I can't be weak. I need to think of Reito… he loves me. I cannot break his heart over some weird feeling. _Feeling an ocean of emerald engulfing her mind, Shizuru mentally prepared for a verbal or even physical attack, but when she started speaking nothing happened.

"There's no use in falling in love when life keeps getting in the way. So, I need to stop." She finally answered, letting go of the dark-haired girl's hand. She was shocked that she was so bluntly honest. _Crush? Yes? But falling in love…?_

Bringing out the words made a strange aching go through her chest. It was painful, but not nearly as painful as Natsuki's swirl of emotions in those stunning emerald orbs. For a short moment when their hands had been connected she didn't feel miserable, but her own voice had destroyed that piece of heaven. She hated herself for saying those words… _but it was the right thing to do… I can't…_

Shizuru didn't expect any kind of response, and was even more shocked when it came for it was as if the other girl was really some sort of mind reader. "Nothing can stop you from falling in love." Natsuki's words were just as broken as her gaze. The loneliness had been back with full force, but was soon frozen over by a distant look. "That's what the poem's about." The last words were said with the usual roughness in her voice. She didn't waste another second as she stormed out of the room, leaving a speechless Shizuru behind.

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><p><strong>AN:** Gosh, this is a freaking long chapter. I can't believe I did this! I really need to focus on my exams! God, but I am so curious about this story myself, and then I realized that I have to write it if I want to know what happens next. I mean I mainly know what is going to happen, but things tend to change during the actual writing process. I really shouldn't have written this during that time, but it's such a sweet distraction from my statistic class…I need you guys to keep your fingers crossed for me on Friday though, okay?

I really can't thank you enough for all the reviews you guys give me. I feel honored (and pressured^^) by them, and I'd like you to keep that up. We have reached Chapter 10 and I want to make a little experiment. I might become a megalomaniac again, but I'd like to aim for the 300 review mark with that Chapter. For once because it is possible (if anyone who has a story alert on this story would leave a review I would even hit the 400 mark with that, but of course I know that won't happen) and because I never had a story that reached the 300 review mark (not even nearly). So, if you want to share your thoughts about the story and that chapter, drop me a review (that goes for you too sweet beta-chan! I haven't had a review from you in like ages and I miss your funny blue comments, although the new beta-style is an improvement). Also to my non-english speaking readers as well. In times of Google Translate I am able to understand almost every review, no matter which language. Oh and before I forget, next Chapter will finally have some real ShizNat…(enough said ;-) ) I will start writing as soon as the story hits the 300 (okay that's bribing, but I don't care^^)

PS.: I've actually had a hard time writing a fitting poem for this story and forgive me if it sounds like I'm praising myself with Mrs. Bradstone's words. I just had to get Shizuru's attention. I'm sure you'll understand ;-P


	11. Collide

"_**When we collide we lose ourselves, when we collide we break in two. And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love it's a hard mistake." **_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**_**  
><strong>_

**Disclaimer: Sunrise = Mai HiME. ****This story = mine**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11 – Collide<strong>

With the last rays of sunlight disappearing from the day, Shizuru closed the door to her apartment with an exasperated sigh. Tossing her shoes in a corner, not bothering to be her usual tidy self on this incredibly boring Friday, she let herself sink on the big leather couch that was occupying most of the right wall in the fawn-colored living room. The last days had worn her out, and the sleep loss slowly became visible by forming dark circles under her extraordinary ruby eyes.

Stretching out on the comfortable sofa, while the night laid its shadow over her apartment was one of the few things that still felt nice to the now yawning girl. She could feel her eyelids becoming heavy, as she placed her head on one of the large purple pillows.

Just when she was about to slip into the mysterious realm between dreams and reality, her cell-phone practically screamed her out of the much welcomed slumber. Flabbergasted and also a tad annoyed, she stood up and got over to her bag fishing out the disturbance. _Reito…_ She let out a small sigh as she checked the Caller-ID.

"Good evening, Reito." It felt a bit odd to call her boyfriend by his name instead of a nickname, but she wasn't in the mood for lovey-dovey talk, after all he had just intruded her nap.

"Why so formal, sweetheart? Did I interrupt something?" His voice was cheerful, and she figured that he didn't really seem to mind.

"You did in fact interrupt my beauty sleep. Although it was more of a beauty nap."

"I would apologize, but given the fact that you don't need either of it, I won't." Shizuru couldn't see it, but she was sure the guy was smiling and the Kyoto-girl was unconsciously smiling along over the sweet compliment. "I just wanted to check if you're all set and ready?" Reito continued nonchalantly.

"What for?"

"It's the third Friday of the month." He patiently waited for his girlfriend to remember.

_Third Friday of the month..._ She could have sworn she heard a mental click when the memory of their monthly little Squash-Tournament came back to her mind.

"Ara, I seem to have completely forgotten about it." She admitted honestly.

"My my, you sure are a bit absentminded lately, though you're not the only one. Kazuya and Akane have also made other plans, and so I asked Takeda and Natsuki to fill in. Although, I doubt they will be much of a challenge for either of us. Well, I don't know for sure... The biker girl might be somewhat of a challenge for you if I judge her by her billiard skills, but I highly doubt that Takeda can take me on. Maybe we should cancel it and do something different…" He paused a second as if he was thinking of an alternative, before he added: " … like playing poker."

"Why not do both? I could really use some kind of exercise." _… to get back to a healthy stress level again._

"You mean playing squash and then playing poker? Sounds like a long night." He faked a sigh, but Shizuru knew that he was just putting up a show.

"I know. We better cancel both and watch 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' before going to bed." She replied sarcastically. Not that it really mattered since every night seemed long to the chestnut-haired girl.

"I like the going to bed part the best." He chuckled. "It's okay with me. It's a weekend after all. And it's not like we're sixty." _No more like fifteen, judging by my hormones… _Shizuru added in her mind, and ended the call by stating to meet up at the Sports Centre in half an hour. _Time to get ready._

When Shizuru arrived at the entrance of the oversized gym, the rest of the group was already waiting for her.

"You're late." Reito greeted her before planting a kiss on her lips. Takeda waved at her with a smile, while Natsuki only grumbled something that sounded like 'Hello', not bothering to look at her at all.

"I know. Public transportation is a pain." Shizuru explained still a bit annoyed thanks to the endless drive in an overfilled bus.

When she took a closer look at the group, she noticed that they were already in sport outfits. Eying the raven-haired girl a bit longer than necessary she couldn't help but ask herself how she could have not noticed that particular fact sooner. She was quick to avert her gaze, when nobody was saying anything anymore, and made her way towards the locker rooms. She quickly stripped her clothes off and changed in her usual squash outfit before storming to the second level of the Sport Centre where the squash rooms were located.

The whole building consisted of three floors. The basement accommodated the locker rooms and a small fitness studio that wasn't really welcoming since it was stuffed with muscle heads almost 24/7. The ground-floor was for indoor soccer only, and therefore it had a fairly large amount of testosterone in the air. Only a few females, that didn't really look like women at all, had the guts to go there and prove their abilities towards the male gender. Shizuru ran up the stairs most of the time, for getting a little warm-up and evading stupid comments or whistles. The second floor was almost a heaven of privacy for a Sport Centre of that size. Two tennis fields and four squash fields were hosted right above the soccer halls. Each squash field was enclosed by four concrete walls, to provide the ultimate isolation. Only a door and the missing ceiling made them trustworthy enough for not feeling trapped.

Of course, it wouldn't make sense without the walls since they are necessary for the game, but Shizuru and Reito had trained at different Sports Parks before and they all had see-thru walls. The Kyoto-girl did love the sport and the exhaustion it caused, but that didn't mean she liked it when people saw her sweat over something, and so this place had become her favorite for their regular matches. Akane had always been a challenge for her, and she was a bit sad that the girl wasn't here today. _I can only hope Natsuki will be just as much of a competition. _Although, Shizuru somehow knew that the other girl wouldn't go lightly on her. After all, their last meeting three days ago hadn't ended too well, and Shizuru highly doubted that, to begin with, Natsuki was in the mood to play around.

When Shizuru entered Room No. 3, the one which Reito had usually booked for her and Akane, she found Natsuki solemnly leaning against the left wall. Her arms were crossed while she was eying the floor, one foot stemmed against the wall pretending to support her weight, although Shizuru was rather sure it was only for looks. _Bad ass…_She thought, an amused smile gracing her lips for a second. The other girl hadn't seemed to notice her by now or maybe she just didn't want to acknowledge her presence. Either way it gave the chestnut-haired girl an opportunity to take a closer look at Natsuki's outfit. She had thought of the other girl as being the type to prefer dark colors, especially after being at her house, but she was proven wrong when the only dark color she could find was the black of Natsuki's hair that was tied back in ponytail being as usual a very nice contrast to her stunning green eyes. Aside from that the girl was completely dressed in white, being the complete opposite to herself as Shizuru was dressed in black. Natsuki's white tennis shorts and shoes were rounded by a matching white tank top that revealed once more the slender but trained body.

Shizuru didn't really know if she simply envied the beauty of her opponent or if she admired it. _Straight or not straight, this girl is unbelievingly beautiful… _Drifting back to the mutual question that had bothered her the last nights, she suddenly felt like having an epiphany. _Maybe I'm not gay! Maybe it's just because she's beyond gorgeous that I am acting all weird. I had fan girls myself back in high-school, and some of them had boyfriends, too. I mean what about female fans of girl bands? They can't be all lesbians. But me being a fan girl… I wonder… _

"Are you finished checking me out now?" The husky voice fitted the comment too perfectly and only added to the already high amount of embarrassment Shizuru felt at that moment. She visibly shrugged and could barely believe herself when a rather unfamiliar heat crept up to her cheeks.

_How dare she make me blush? Nobody makes Shizuru Fujino blush. _Feeling her fighting spirits lift up, she positioned herself in front of the black-haired girl, staring into the bright eyes with self-confidence. _Offense is the best defense._ "Cocky, aren't we?" Shizuru smiled one of her stunning smiles. "Let's hope that body of yours holds what it promises." She purposely let her eyes wander up and down the toned body of her opposite while the alluring Kyoto-ben flowed out of her mouth flawlessly. Having the effect she had hoped for on the other girl, she couldn't help but chuckle lightly as Natsuki brought up a white baseball cap that had been hidden in her hand until now. The girl placed it on her head and tucked the peak down to hide the coloring on her cheeks.

Shizuru found the reaction quite adorable but refrained from any further teasing. Instead she made her stance on the right side of the field and got ready for the first serve, a determined look on her face. She slammed the ball against the wall with all she had, completely oblivious to the fact that she had also been silently checked out from behind. A skirt was always a good choice for dynamic forms of sports… if you're not the one wearing it of course.

Natsuki who was still distracted by the rear side of Shizuru completely missed the start of the match, and looked utterly confused as the ball flew behind her, hitting the ground with a thud.

"Guess you need a little warm up before we start an actual match." Shizuru commented slightly amused to a dumbfounded Natsuki.

Not wanting to admit what had distracted her, the raven-haired girl only huffed and got ready for the next serve. Shizuru cocked a brow as a silent question if Natsuki was ready, and got a reassuring nod in response. With a small smile, she served the next ball with a little less energy. She could hear feet moving behind her, and was a bit shocked when the ball was slammed back with much more force than she had expected. But since she was an experienced player she didn't have too much trouble to counter the attack. After the first serve, Shizuru had thought the match would be a piece of cake, but after a good fifteen minutes the second ball still hadn't gone down.

Both girls were fighting for the point as if their lives were depending on it. Shizuru slowly started to struggle due to the loss of air. She was a good player but her stamina wasn't as good as she had wished. She was used to having short breaks between the rallies with Akane because one always would give in when a ball was seemingly unreachable. With Natsuki, it was different though. The strokes weren't precise but powerful, and the raven-haired girl didn't give up no matter how forlorn the situation appeared. Shizuru watched the other girl whenever she had the chance, and noticed that the atmosphere changed with every stroke.

Natsuki had been stern at first, but every bit of released power, seemed to lighten up her mood a little. Shizuru thought back of the billiard game, and remembered that Natsuki had been determined, almost obstinate to win the match. _I see… She likes challenges. Well, so do I… I won't go easy on you either. Hopefully it'll help us on lowering the tension between us… in every way…_ With that in mind Shizuru smashed the ball back against the wall with full force causing Natsuki to gasp. Their bodies were already covered with a light film of sweat, and their breaths had become rather heavy. Somehow the biker managed to get the ball, and Shizuru was almost annoyed that she still hadn't won the second serve. Natsuki's counter shot however wasn't very precise. The ball didn't have much power, and so Shizuru slowed down a bit when suddenly the ball made a strange move as if it was curved, and, infect, it was. The Kyoto-girl highly doubted that it was on purpose, but still she had to lunge forward to have a slight chance to get the ball in time. Rubies fixed on the little black target, unaware of the fact that she was storming straight at the other girl. Reaching the ball just in time, she didn't have a chance to be happy as she was colliding with something… or better said someone rather harshly.

When she opened her eyes, she still had no idea what had just happened. She blinked twice, before her vision slowly started to work again, although the picture hadn't reached her head yet. Otherwise, she might have jumped in panic. It took a while before she realized why the fall hadn't hurt as much as she had thought it would. The floor seemed rather comfortable, and after a few more seconds she finally realized what the reason for the soft landing was. Crimson were flooded by a wave of emerald, and Shizuru was shocked to hear herself gulp loudly.

She was lying on top of Natsuki in a pose that wasn't too unfamiliar. At least in her weird nightmares. Her left thigh was placed between the spread legs of the girl beneath her. They were both panting heavily, and their bodies were covered in light sweat. The white cap of Natsuki was lying a few inches away causing strands of the black hair to scatter on the cold floor. For a few seconds, neither of them dared to speak a word. They were just silently staring at each other. Shizuru couldn't even think of speaking as her thoughts were making somersaults. The only thing her mind was able to comprehend was that Natsuki was even beautiful when she was covered in sweat. _Not beautiful, but completely stunning and sexy. _Strange images were suddenly starting to form in her head, and she felt like getting away from their odd position as fast as possible. Sadly her body didn't willingly obey. Maybe her mind was weaker than she had already acknowledged. It was as if the other girl had some kind of magnet in her hips, and something deep inside the Kyoto-girl wanted that moment to last a bit longer. An involuntary smile tugged at corners of her lips, causing Natsuki to snap out of the daze.

"You really know how to sweep people off their feet, don't you?" The raven-haired girl said, sounding a little too warm for her husky voice. Shizuru noticed the change in the formerly serious voice, and was happy that the exercise had indeed helped the other girl to calm down a bit. She looked down at the beautiful features of the girl beneath her a moment longer before replying: "I thought Natsuki would like it rough." She wanted to see the cute blushing face of Natsuki once more before she eventually had to get up. _Or maybe I just keep lying down and use the opportunity to make out with her right on the flo… _Just when she was about to scold herself for her highly inappropriate thoughts, she heard a scream coming from the other field.

"Look out!" The voice that sounded like a panicked Takeda caused Shizuru to lift her body slightly, but before she even had the chance to react she was knocked out by something hard. For a split second, her vision went black, and when she opened her eyes again she unexpectedly found herself on her back, beautiful green eyes now hovering above her. _I sure could live with that quick change of positions… Wait! What happened, where am I? _She wanted to get up as a sharp pain on the left of her forehead caused her to lie down again. She touched the spot with her fingers, and was bit confused to find a swollen spot right above her left eye. _Ouch. This must be divine punishment… _

Before she was able to figure out how to get up gracefully, her fingers were covered by Natsuki's hand. Crimson eyes snapped back to meet stunning emeralds. She could feel herself trembling over the soft touch on her face as the raven-haired girl let her fingertips stroke over the bump down to her cheek. The heavy breathing that had settled down by now started to increase again, and Shizuru suddenly felt the strong need to pull the other girl down or to lean towards her. Either way it was bad, that she was sure of. Luckily the decision was out of her hands as Natsuki herself started to lean down. She could feel the sweet breath of the raven-haired beauty tickle her bottom lip, and she had no idea why she didn't do anything to stop this madness. It was as if her body and mind were tired of fighting. _Am I really giving in?_ She inwardly let her eyes flutter shut, and waited for her heart to jump out of her chest. And so it did, but sadly not over the joy of soft lips upon hers, but over Takeda's annoying voice being dangerously close.

"Oi! Shizuruuuu! Are you okay? I am so sorry." The boy screamed much louder than necessary, causing another wave of pain in her head.

Her eyes snapped back open as she felt the weight lifted from her body. The irradiating heat was gone, as Natsuki had already jumped back to her feet. Shizuru slowly turned her head to the side and saw Takeda and Reito running towards them.

Reito bent down to take a closer look at the bruise, and shot a blaming glance towards his best friend.

"I am sorry, Shizuru. I didn't mean to hurt you." The spiky-head asserted once more.

"What happened?" The chestnut-haired girl had still no idea and waited for an explanation as she lifted herself up on her elbows. Reito turned to look at his injured girlfriend. "Takeda is probably the worst squash player on earth. He managed to shoot the ball over the wall, and as you know there is no ceiling. So the ball flew over to your field, and of course you were lucky enough to get hit by it full force." He explained with a worried glance.

Shizuru could see that Takeda was really sorry, and although she had to admit that she was a little annoyed that she was knocked out by the boy she actually wasn't mad. When Reito reached down to help her stand up, she just gave him an 'I'm fine by myself'-look, and he instantly retreated giving her the chance to stand up alone.

"I'm really sorry." Takeda once more mumbled while fumbling with his racket.

"Ara ara Takeda, and here I thought you'd stop hitting on me now that you have such a gorgeous girlfriend." The comment managed to make two people blush at once. Only Reito was as composed as ever, smiling at his girlfriend and shaking his head in disbelief.

"Seems it didn't have much effect on you, sweetheart." He said before he went over to where Takeda was standing.

"Come on, pal. You've humiliated yourself enough for today." The taller boy said, and Takeda only nodded shyly. They were just about to turn around, when Takeda suddenly stopped.

"Umm, the ball…" He stuttered and pointed towards the little black spot behind the two girls that were standing next to each other. Natsuki's blush had worn off by now, and she was turning around with a strange smile as she fetched the ball. _What kind of smile is that? _Shizuru hadn't seen that kind of look on Natsuki's face before. If she didn't know better, she would have guessed it was kind of mischievous.

Takeda held out his hand with a smut smile as he watched his girlfriend bending over. Then everything went incredibly fast. Before Shizuru could comprehend what had happened, Takeda had gone down on his knees whimpering like a little girl with his hands between his legs.

Reito and Shizuru looked equally confused. Only Natsuki stood there unmoving and calm with her racket swung over her shoulder. The little black ball that had been in the hand of the raven-haired girl seconds ago was now lying on the floor right in front of Takeda, who was now convulsing on the floor. Shizuru was not completely sure if the biker-girl had shot Takeda down on purpose, but if so her aim was better then she would have thought. She couldn't help but chuckle lightly over the situation. She found it very charming that Natsuki would punish the poor boy for accidentally hurting her, and although she felt sorry for her friend who may just have lost his ability to have children, she also felt privileged.

"Why…" Takeda muttered in a pained voiced.

"Balls to balls…" Natsuki said in a low voice, not really giving an answer.

"And dust to dust." came the silent response from Shizuru.

"Amen." Reito completed the little prayer with an amused smile before he helped Takeda to stand up straight again. Well, not straight, but at least to stand up somehow.

"I think we've had enough exercise for today. Let's switch to a less dangerous game. Shall we?" Reito said with a wink, and all of them agreed silently.

Natsuki and Shizuru started to walk after the boys. Well, at least after one boy as Shizuru wasn't sure if Takeda still was one after the low blow. She glanced over to the raven-haired goddess and was greeted with a light smile. She instantly felt herself back in lala-land as she watched the green eyes shining with a warmth that she didn't even know she had been missing before she had met the mysterious girl. She barely listened to the conversation of Reito and Takeda in front of them as she kept staring at Natsuki on their way down to the locker rooms. _The locker rooms… THE… LOCKER… ROOMS…!_

"So, I'll see you two beauties after a quick shower, right?" Reito was a bit surprised to find his girlfriend so flustered about the comment. Or maybe it wasn't the comment but her head wound. "Are you sure you're okay, honey? You look a bit out of it. I can always join you at the shower and look out for you." He said with a weird mixture of worry and smut. The words brought Shizuru back from her trance, and she was able to reassure the boy that she was fine with her response: "I'm sure you would indeed look out for me… and all the other girls. Aren't you a knight?" The sarcastic tone made clear that she was in no need for any help from the young man, and so he continued dragging Takeda towards the door. "You know me too well. See you outside in a few." Reito chuckled, and disappeared into the locker room with a still whimpering Takeda.

The terror had left Shizuru's gaze, but was still evident in her mind as her thoughts kept racing over the situation that was awaiting her behind the door that was labeled with a Venus symbol. Natsuki, on the other hand, didn't seem to feel uneasy at all when they entered the -of course- empty locker room. At least Shizuru couldn't sense any strange vibes. _That must be because I am an utter weirdo! What's the big deal in showering after sport? I always shower with Akane after a match. It's perfectly normal to see another girl naked. And that's what she is right? Naked… Snap! I mean… a normal other girl. Just like me. A damn hot other girl that is covered in sweat undressing in front of me…_ Shizuru instinctively grabbed her nose as if she was afraid of getting a sudden nosebleed.

"Are you okay?" Natsuki asked a bit worried after she had removed her tank top revealing a white sports bra.

"Hmm?" Shizuru had a very hard time averting her gaze from the upper body of the girl in front of her, but she knew it would be more than weird to keep staring at the tempting sight. "Oh of course. I thought I had to sneeze." _Good save. _

Natsuki only nodded, but didn't really look convinced at all. Okay, time to calm down. It's not that I haven't seen her like that. I was peeking at her in the lingerie shop… My, that sure sounds perverted… because it is. Shizuru made sure to keep her gaze down and fixated the calk between the tiles. The silence was a bit unsettling and she eventually found the need to break it in the hopes of making the situation a bit more normal, although it didn't feel normal at all having such a flawless girl undressing in front of you.

"You're not bad." _In any way… and even that is an understatement. _"I mean at squash." Shizuru added quickly.

"Thank you. You're not so bad yourself… at squash." The voice of Natsuki didn't sound as nonchalant as the words would have suggested. Somehow it felt as if they both weren't talking about the game at all. _Am I reading too much into this or does she sound a little uncomfortable now, too… _Feeling the need to find out what caused the sudden change in the voice of the other girl, Shizuru finally found the guts to look up, and for a tiny moment the world stopped spinning, or at least her heart stopped beating. Either way something stopped for a split second cutting the blood supply for her brain short. And for a slight moment of insanity, Shizuru honestly considered the thought of bravely walking over to the striking girl to pull down the towel that was tightly wrapped around the slender body. With a gulp, she finally brought her hormones back in place, shaking the madness out of her head. The tension was still electrifying the air around them, but at least Shizuru could feel her heart beating again, although it was rather rapidly.

"Are you sure, you're okay?" The husky voice startled her as it was closer than she had expected. Only now she realized that Natsuki had come dangerously close, at least for Shizuru everything that was closer than arm's length was dangerous when it came to the raven-haired beauty. Not really sure if she was able to control her voice, Shizuru almost whispered.

"Sure. Why not?" For some reason, it was hard to press out the words.

"Because you're not breathing." The words caught her somewhat off guard. She hadn't even noticed that she was holding her breath until now. She let out a heavy sigh, followed by a deep breath.

"Ara, it seems Natsuki is rather breathtaking." The words just came out naturally from Shizuru's mouth. Thanks to yearlong practice her defense mechanisms still worked when the situation was rough. The green-eyed girl instantly blushed madly under the comment that was breathed in the alluring Kyoto-ben and retreated to her previous position.

"I… I am going to shower." Hearing the deep voice stutter was a bit amusing and Shizuru couldn't help but chuckle lightly. She was glad she had turned the tables, although it was a mere reflex. Of course, Shizuru knew that there was no way that she would get under the shower as long as Natsuki was standing there. _Completely naked, completely wet… God! Why do I have these thoughts in my head? Is this how boys feel all the time? Oh, those poor creatures._

Shizuru continued striping her clothes off, and wrapped a towel around herself waiting for the water to stop before she made her way towards the shower. She was a bit proud that she hadn't stolen a peek when she could have seen the other girl naked, but she felt as if it wouldn't have been right. _It's no fun to unwrap your present before Christmas… _A bit shocked that her mind seriously seemed to consider doing these things with the other girl let her shudder for a second. It was as if the constant tension between them seemed to tear down all of her defenses along with her sanity bit by bit.

Both girls met halfway only covered with a short towel, and stopped dead in their tracks. Their eyes met, but Shizuru didn't hold the gaze for too long as her eyes followed a water droplet that was hanging on the tip of one of the black strands, ready to jump down onto the soft looking skin of Natsuki's shoulder. It soon mixed with another small droplet as it fell down that had been occupying the spot before, only to start its way down the slender arm changing its direction ever so often when it was met with a hair.

She felt completely aroused by the sight of the water crawling down the skin of her opposite, and she had never been happier about being a woman. She was sure that she couldn't have hid her excitement in any other way. When she lifted her gaze again to search for the emeralds, she was met with a light pink blush that was standing out on the white skin. She felt a bit sorry for making the other girl so obviously uncomfortable with her looks, but she also felt intrigued to know that only her wandering eyes seemed to have such an effect.

The tension was not only pulling on her nerves, but on her heart and senses as well. Her mind went back to the match. Was she really ready to give in at that moment? Had Natsuki really attempted to kiss her? She wasn't sure. But that was only one of the many things she wasn't sure of when it came to her relationship with the other girl. _Maybe that kiss would have helped to lower the tension. Sometimes people start to idealize things, and when they have it they lose interest. Maybe I should just get it over with and start going back to normal. But I can't just kiss her, can I? Not in the Girls' Locker Room and not when we're both only wearing a towel… It's wrong… I should just get a cold shower to clear my mind._ That's what her mind was thinking, but her legs moved slowly closer to the raven-haired girl that got completely tense under the diminishing distance between them. And just when Shizuru realized that her legs didn't obey, the door flung open making them both jump away from each other.

Three blabbering and giggling girls came in and waved a short hello to them. Shizuru politely smiled back after she had come to her senses again, and hurriedly made her way to the shower while Natsuki almost ran back to her locker.

A painful cold shower later, Shizuru was a bit glad to find out that Natsuki had already gone outside. That had been enough naked flesh and weird tension for a whole week, and she was relieved that she could dress herself without feeling the need to fling her naked body onto the biker.

After she put her mask back in place and mentally prepared to ignore the awkwardness between them, she grabbed her bag and went outside finding her friends already waiting.

When the group entered the apartment of Reito all of them agreed to order pizza as they were sure the immense amount of exercise would allow them to have fast food today. After the greasy feast, they sat around the living room table and waited patiently until Reito had prepared everything for the poker game. The atmosphere was light-hearted and Shizuru was happy that she could sit opposite to the raven-haired girl who didn't seem to be mad or uncomfortable anymore. Shizuru loved the smiling face of the other girl and found herself wanting to be the reason for these beautiful smiles ever so often. She didn't know why, but she wanted to be the one to make the usually serious girl smile. She wanted her to be happy and every little second the beautiful green eyes were sparkling with joy made her smile along. Everything seemed to be perfect. It was a comforting thought of having the chance to look into those dazzling orbs for the rest of the evening, but somehow her boyfriend unintentionally had other plans as he threw four pairs of sunglasses on the table.

"What's with those, pal?" Takeda looked just as irritated as the rest.

"It's called poker-face. I know for certain that some people at the table have the ability to read other people's minds by only looking into their eyes." Reito gave Shizuru a knowing glance, and she instantly huffed in annoyance. She really wasn't in the mood to stare at dark sunglasses that made everyone look like a giant ant the whole evening when she could have the chance to fill her view with a beautiful shade of green. But she couldn't really blame Reito. She really was good at reading people, although she wasn't sure if her magic would work with Natsuki, and now that she didn't get the chance, she would never find out. At least she was sure that she could read Takeda even with sunglasses. The boy was just too good to attempt to lie or even conceal anything.

"Alright, we're playing Texas Hold'em. Is everyone familiar with the rules?" Reito's voice was unnaturally enthusiastic, and Shizuru could tell that he was excited. She knew he loved the game. He loved every game that had something to do with betting. Everyone affirmed his question, and so he started dealing the cards after shuffling like a maniac.

Shizuru did as usual, she held back. She wasn't the risky type at all. Making a move without thinking about the consequences just wasn't her style and so the first rounds were usually only for observation. Reito played a similar tactic, and she wasn't the least bit surprised. They always had been very similar. That was somehow the main criteria that had made them end up together. _Similarities attract or… was it the other way around?_

After the sixth or seventh round Takeda was already short on money. _As I thought. That boy just can't lie, and he's unlucky too. _Shizuru, who hadn't had the best cards either, had played a bit smarter, only losing the blinds and not really betting until now. Reito had won two small pots, but most money on the table was definitely stored across the table at Natsuki's side.

Shizuru didn't really know if it was sheer luck or if the risky gameplay was actually the right way to win this game. She was a bit amazed that Natsuki wasn't afraid to lose. She almost recklessly bet huge amounts even on bad cards, but no one seemed to accuse her of bluffing. The dark glasses didn't give away a hint of what was going on inside that pretty head, and Shizuru somehow felt challenged.

The other girl never showed her cards if not necessary and so the Kyoto-beauty couldn't tell what the tactic of the silent player was if it was a tactic at all. To find out she would have to risk something, but being a very sore loser, she had a hard time struggling over the thought of simply waiting for good cards or bluffing herself. _Safe way or risk? I am rather good at lying so usually the risky way shouldn't be dangerous at all, but then… I can't really figure Natsuki out. She might be pretty reckless or a real genius. _Shizuru lifted her cards in the hopes of having luck for trying the lame safe way, but when the she was greeted with an eight and a ten she mentally grunted. _At least they're both spades._ Unsure of really betting on such a hand, she knew that she didn't have much time if she wanted to look convincing that her hand was great. Natsuki had already set her small blind and Reito the big blind. It was her turn to either fold or pay. Without giving it another thought, she took some of the coins and threw it in the middle with a light smile. She made sure it wasn't too confident, but also not too weak. The glasses concealed the somewhat angsty look as she saw that she had not only paid the blind but also raised. Takeda instantly folded with a sigh. Natsuki once more looked at her cards. _Oops, did I make you nervous? Maybe your hand isn't so good this time? _Shizuru had a hard time fighting down a grin. _This game really is fun._ After a good ten seconds had ticked away, Natsuki finally started counting her chips. She put them in the middle, and Shizuru was a tad shocked to see that the raven-haired girl had raised instead of just calling.

"Phew… you really want to go for it this round, ladies. Being the gentleman I am, I will let you two have this round for a catfight." Natsuki's head snapped in the direction of Reito, and Shizuru was sure that she was sending one of her death-glares towards the boy. She didn't really like the cocky sound in his voice either, but she was a bit more used to it. The Kyoto-girl knew that there was no way out of it anymore. She couldn't just fold now that she had been so obviously challenged. She would take the risk. It was just a game after all. _A game I won't lose…_ She once more put some of her coins in the middle, not really caring how high the raise was this time. Strangely enough it felt good to be so carefree at once even if she might fail miserably. It was fun, and maybe Natsuki was bluffing as well.

After Shizuru had raised again, Natsuki gave her a small smile that said: 'It's on.' The girl called and finally the flop was dealt. The three face-up community cards let Shizuru's stomach tingle with joy. _Luck is on my side this time. _She smiled lightly as she mentally checked once more the cards in front of her. It was a miracle but the cards from the flop already completed her hand. She had a nice little Straight, and nothing could stop her as she now could care less what card was on the turn and the river.

She triumphantly raised once more, and waited for Natsuki to fold. But of course, she had underestimated the other girl again.

"All in." Natsuki said nonchalantly as she slowly rose from her chair. Shizuru actually had a hard time keeping her composure. She seriously considered the other girl to be nuts. _But what if she isn't bluffing? What cards can she possibly have that are better than mine? No… she's bluffing._

"Call." Shizuru said as she shoved all of her coins in the middle of the table, standing up as well. The boys exchanged a thrilled look and Reito smiled much wider than Shizuru liked him too. She hated losing and she really didn't want to humiliate herself in front of her friends.

"Okay, ladies. It's time for the showdown then." Shizuru tried to look triumphantly. She had good reason to do so as her cards were undeniably good. She put them face-up on the table and waited for the reaction of the other girl. Natsuki didn't give away any emotion when she turned her cards as well revealing an ace and a king.

"Not bad, but they won't stand a chance against my hand." Shizuru said victoriously, earning a smile from her boyfriend. "Indeed, honey. It seems that you've been lucky this round."

"We'll see." Natsuki commented completely cool as she took off her glasses to stare at Shizuru with a determined and self-confident look. The dazzling emeralds danced with certainty and the Kyoto-girl suddenly didn't feel so sure anymore. But she didn't want to appear weak and so she also got rid of the dark shield in front of her eyes and darted her rubies into the green ocean.

When Reito dealt the Turn-card, Shizuru let out a relieved sigh. It was a diamond seven. _No harm done so far._

"Are you ready?" The boy asked with a grin as he fumbled with the River-card already in his hand.

Both silently nodded, never breaking the gaze from each other. It was a silent battle of wills, and Shizuru could feel the adrenaline pumping through her veins. _It seems every activity with this girl is somewhat more challenging than usual. She really knows how to push my buttons…_

As the River-card was laid face-up on the table both tore their eyes away to see the outcome of the thrilling round. Takeda looked a bit dumbfounded, and Reito also had a look of confusion on his face. Shizuru didn't quite get the irritation as the card was only a nine. It was a complete victory for her, and she wondered why nobody was saying anything.

"Ara, it seems I am luckier than Natsuki this time." She said in her sexy Kyoto-ben while she reached out for the money. But before she could grab any coins a hand from across the table grabbed hers.

"Aren't you a little fast." The raven-haired girl said with a grin, causing Shizuru to furrow her brow.

"Ahem, Shizuru, darling…" She looked down at her boyfriend whose voice suddenly sounded a bit amused. "You just lost all your money."

"What?!" It was a bit unexpected to hear Shizuru snapping like that, and it caused everyone aside from her to chuckle.

"I have a 'Straight'. She only has a pair." Shizuru said a bit desperate while she pointed at the cards.

"Just as I thought, you didn't pay any attention to the hearts." Natsuki said with a strange undertone that made Shizuru feel uneasy for a second. She needed a moment to gather her thoughts and to understand that the other girl was referring to the game… at least somehow. A closer look at the cards finally revealed her big mistake, and she felt more than stupid. How could she have missed the fact that two of the two cards from the flop and the river had been hearts. Natsuki had completely defeated her hand with a 'Flush'. Feeling utterly stupid Shizuru sat back down with a defeated look. She watched painfully as all of her money was shoved to Natsuki's side. _So much for taking risks…_

"Don't worry, honey. I will avenge you." Reito said in a sweet tone, but it only added to Shizuru's annoyance. She was a sore loser, and lame words wouldn't help the fact that she had just lost everything to the raven-haired girl.

Willingly taking the job of the dealer, she watched the next rounds in a rather bad mood. Takeda was losing more and more of his money and Natsuki and Reito seemed to start a silent battle. Shizuru was really bored by now and decided that it would be a nice distraction to clean up the earlier pizza massacre. She excused herself and made her leave towards the kitchen that was located next to the living room.

She started to throw away the boxes, and clean the dishes. Thinking back to the Poker game, she once more sighed over her own blindness.

"Can I help you with something?" The husky voice coming from the door startled her a bit, and she felt caught in another rather unfavorable situation. She must look like a housewife cleaning the kitchen of her husband, although all she wanted was to get away from the game for a while. The only thing she could do now was cover the situation up somehow.

"Ara, don't you have to win a match over there."

"No, I just lost all my money to Takeda… on purpose. But I won't tell him. I am tired of fighting your boyfriend." _Does everything this girl says have a double-meaning or am I just reading too much into things?_

Reito's voice coming from the living room disturbed the little privacy fairly roughly, and Natsuki's eyes only bespoke the already obvious annoyance.

"Would you mind checking the home office for some other games? Poker is boring with only two people participating." He shouted not bothering to come into the kitchen.

"Of course." Shizuru answered just loud enough that he would hear her without having to shout.

"He sure can be annoying at times." Natsuki muttered mostly to herself, but Shizuru had understood every word.

"You don't like him at all do you? Why do you hang out with us so often then?" She asked not really being serious with a light-hearted laughter, which caused Natsuki to forget her embarrassment that the other girl had heard her comment. It even seemed to encourage her to answer the mostly rhetorical question.

"Well, I have to admit he's not one of my favorite persons…" The raven-haired girl's voice was serious but warm. She inwardly paused to lock with the crimson orbs before she added: "But you are…"

The compliment caught Shizuru completely off-guard, and she was far from covering her bodily reaction. For the second time today she found herself blushing, only this time she couldn't think of a decent way to counter. Not really knowing what to say or what to do, she decided that changing the setting might help to lower the again increasing tension.

"Would you like helping me look for the games?" She didn't really wait for an answer from the other girl as she grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her down to the end of the little corridor into the home office room. She left the door ajar to not give away the feeling of trapping them in the dimly lit room. Natsuki didn't say anything as she remained near the door, but she also didn't complain.

The Kyoto-girl started searching the drawers, although her mind was still occupied with the strange tension that had suddenly returned with full force. She needed to break the silence or her mind would let her to do some really really wrong things.

"I think we should play something where luck doesn't determine your destiny. What about a quiz game?" Shizuru asked, trying to sound cheerful as ever.

"Fine with me… It seems you indeed weren't lucky by going for the 'Straight' by all means. You should think outside the box a bit more…" Natsuki said, her voice almost inaudible at the last words. Once again, the comment swept away Shizuru's guard. She instantly stopped her movements and stood up straight, facing away from the girl at the door.

"You… you really are unbelievably skilled with words, Natsuki." She whispered. "I'm just not sure if you do it on purpose or not." The words and the voice seemed to unreal for being said by someone like Shizuru, and Natsuki was beyond too stunned to respond at all. She decided to wait a bit more to see if the taller girl would continue speaking, but nothing came. And so eventually Natsuki started to feel uncomfortable.

Shizuru had the feeling that if she would turn around now, she would regret it sooner or later, but she couldn't fight the urge to look at the other girl. When their eyes met she felt all her walls crumble, and she started walking towards the object of her affection. There was no use in denying something that was so obvious, so graspable. She was sure that the temperature rose anytime they both were in the same room. Something had to be done about that unhealthy kind of tension.

She mentally prepared herself for letting down her defenses for this one moment, and she blocked out all of her sane thoughts. Natsuki was still standing unmoving in front of the slightly opened door when Shizuru approached her with an indescribable look.

Natsuki reflexively took a step back accidently causing the door with her heel to click shut. She flinched under the sound and now looked like an anxious trapped animal. Shizuru felt a bit sorry as she didn't mean to scare the other girl. For a short second, the nagging thought of doubt tried to crawl back into her mind to destroy her determination, but she wouldn't let it thrive as she brought up her arms to place them on the closed door, trapping Natsuki's head in the middle. The raven-haired girl gulped lightly but held her gaze. Shizuru could sense that Natsuki was feeling just as uneasy as herself, but she didn't see discontentment at all.

"Natsuki…" Shizuru breathed. Her face only inches away from the raven-haired girl's now. "We need to talk about this. It's driving me crazy. You're driving me crazy." _Damn, those eyes are really distracting… what did I want to say again?_

"Your eyes are outstandingly beautiful…" That wasn't it. But it's true nonetheless.

"How hard was that hit on your head again?" Natsuki finally saying anything at all brought her hand up to let it touch the bump on Shizuru head once again.

"It's not about the hit…" Shizuru answered, shaking off the hand. "Well, actually… it is about hitting…" She finally admitted somewhat defeated. _There I have said it. Oh my god, it's so much more real now…_

"Listen, I am sorry. If I have made you feel uncomfortable. I will be more considerate towards you from now on." The comment made clear that Natsuki in fact did know what Shizuru was talking about, but the reaction was somewhat unsatisfying. Didn't they already try to be discrete and more than considerate? It didn't work, and Shizuru was not willing to let this go on forever. Something needed to be done or she would go crazy within the next weeks… _days… seconds_. Her eyes drifted from the emeralds down to the incredibly soft looking lips. She could feel that something inside of her wanted nothing more than to capture them with hers, and she felt as if she couldn't keep that longing down forever. Maybe the beast inside of her would shut up after having a taste of the forbidden… _or maybe it will break free wanting more…_

"Okay." She finally said with a determined look in her deep red eyes. "We should just get over it. I mean let's face it: We both have a crush on each other." She made a sure pause to catch her breath. "It's okay. Things like that happen even in the best relationships. People have crushes all the time and get over them. We simply need to get it over with." She deeply inhaled while massaging her right temple, squeezing her eyes shut as if she was in pain. It was hard to remain focused while the biker-girl's scent was overflowing her senses. The situation was completely unreal, but if felt so right. _So natural._

Natsuki's back was still pressed against the door, and Shizuru had no intention of freeing the girl from the little prison she formed with her arms by now.

"You're in love with Takeda and I love Reito, right? The chestnut-haired girl asked, although it was more of a statement than a question. And although saying it in this situation felt completely wrong, it made her feel at ease somehow. _Everything's fine. I love my boyfriend…_

"Right." came the stuttered response from the obviously intimidated girl.

"And we're simply physically attracted to each other. It's the physical tension that needs to be erased. Much like lightning during a thunderstorm." Shizuru continued, trying to keep her voice as composed and low as possible. It sounded completely idiotic, but her mind couldn't think of anything eloquent when the breath of the other girl already tingled on her lips. Natsuki could only nod in response as the electricity in the air had cut her oxygen supply short. The Kyoto-girl once more inhaled deeply before whispering the most feared thought aloud.

"I am sure that we could erase that tension with a kiss." The words stood in the room like a shadow. There was no going back anymore. She had said what she was afraid of right into the face of the raven-haired girl, who had stopped breathing by now. Green eyes were staring at her with a swirl of emotions that Shizuru didn't even attempt to decipher. There were no words anymore. Only silence and the strong need to finally taste the forbidden. Shizuru reached down, sliding her hand through the gap between Natsuki's arm and hip, her gaze never leaving the emerald orbs. She turned her hand slightly, and the click of the door lock allowed them the privacy they didn't allow themselves until now. After the raven-haired girl didn't falter under the action, Shizuru was sure that she wanted it just as much, and so she finally entered the world of her dreams for once.

She slowly leaned in, bit by bit closing the distance between them. Her chestnut-hair was falling slightly forward, creating a veil of intimacy. Giving in wasn't as unpleasant as Shizuru had thought it would be, and her heavily beating heart didn't feel uncomfortable at all. She shortly paused before their lips could finally touch, but she hadn't had a chance to retreat as Natsuki was the one to breathe away the last remaining doubt by closing the small gap between them.

The touch of their lips indeed sent an electric jolt down Shizuru's spine. Never had she felt anything like that before. It was completely different from kissing Reito… _Completely different from kissing anyone._

Natsuki's lips felt as if they were made for only her. For exactly this moment, and she could feel her heart settle down in contentment as their lips started to move slowly against each other. Neither of them were taking the lead. It was like a perfect synchronized dance. Shizuru opened her mouth to give Natsuki entrance for exploring the depths of her soul. Right now, she was willing to give the other girl everything of her. The pure movements of their tongues made her forget everything, and she couldn't repress a light moan. After what seemed like a much too short eternity they both broke the kiss for some much needed air. They were both panting heavily. No exercise could possibly be as exhausting and beautiful at the same time as that kiss.

"Is it gone?" Natsuki asked with a look that Shizuru had never seen before. She looked content, and it was even more beautiful than her usual self. At first she didn't know what Natsuki meant, but when her mind started working at least a bit coherently she figured that the girl referred to the tension. The tension was not gone, but it wasn't as unbearable as before. It was as if it had been exchanged with something else. Something Shizuru couldn't grasp right now. She still felt hungry for the dark-haired beauty, and it would have been a lie if she would have answered with 'yes'.

"Not completely…" She answered honestly causing the other girl to smile. Without giving her brain permission to rationalize the situation, Shizuru let her eyes flutter close and leaned in, capturing the moist lips with hers again. This time the kiss was fiercer, and she could feel her hormones kicking in completely. She knew it wasn't good, but she couldn't help it as Natsuki encircled her waist with her arms, letting their hips crash together. Another moan was muffled into the mouth off the biker girl, and the Kyoto-beauty could feel that she was about to lose herself. She struggled a bit, and finally broke free to catch another sip of air. She kept her eyes closed as if she wanted to remain in this dream a little longer. If she wouldn't let reality in, it wouldn't be real.

"What about now?" Natsuki whispered almost seductively in her ear, and she felt completely weak. Her knees, her mind, her heart… everything was giving in under the breath of the raven-haired girl.

"Mhm… yeah, almost." Shizuru moaned as she was pulled in for another heated kiss.

"… and now?" The husky voice breathed into her mouth while they continued the now passionate kiss. "Gngh… it's… getting better with every second…" Shizuru's voice was a mere whisper, driven by a wave of a desire that was much stronger than anything she had ever known.

"I think so, too…" Natsuki said just as aroused, which caused the Kyoto-girl to shudder slightly.

Shizuru realized that she was at the edge of completely losing it, but she couldn't help herself. Her body acted on its own. Natsuki's hold wasn't strong, she could have broken free, but she didn't want to. She wanted to be held like that by the other girl. In fact she had longed for it, and now that it was happening it was even better than her imagination. She was shocked when she felt her hips press harder against Natsuki's, but she didn't allow herself to think about any of her actions by now. She was sure that nothing could stop them now, and she was equally afraid and excited. She subconsciously started pulling on the shirt of the raven-haired girl, when a much too familiar voice harshly shook her out of her reverie.

"Is everything okay!?" Reito's shouting from the living room caused both girls to instantly stop their movements. Shizuru almost jumped away from Natsuki, giving the girl some space to recover. Their faces were flushed, and their eyes held a strange mixture of guilt and pleasure. _Oh my god… what now? Reito… He's in the other room. I had completely forgotten. I'm a horrible person. What was I thinking… I can't face him now… ever…_

"Yes. Everything's fine." Natsuki's voice was husky as usual. Not a hint of regret, and Shizuru was a bit shocked to see that the other girl was fairly better at covering the situation up. She was giving her a puzzled look, and the raven-haired girl only shook her head. _Had she seen the desperation and confusion in my eyes? Why is she covering up for us?_

They got back to the living room without speaking another word. In fact Shizuru didn't even dare to look into the dazzling emeralds again. She was afraid of what she would find there. Afraid that she couldn't conceal any of her emotions while everyone was around. She had just cheated on her boyfriend while he was in the next room completely clueless, and to make things worse it was the girlfriend of his best friend too. _This possibly qualifies me to even be kicked out of hell… _Shizuru had a hard time keeping her calm façade. She couldn't deal with sitting around any longer after what just happened.

"I… I think I need to go to bed." She said as soon as they had entered the living room. Takeda and Reito exchanged a worried glance, only Natsuki was staring out the window as if it didn't interest her at all.

"What's wrong, darling?" Reito asked concerned.

"Nothing." _Everything… _"I just have a headache." She explained, sounding a little distant.

"It's probably the swell. I'm sorry. You better get some rest." Takeda mumbled, his voice still sounding guilty.

_Right, the swell… Maybe I really hit my head too hard. Who am I kidding, that was completely out of free will… Why did it have to be so damn good, too…_

"Shizuru?" Reito lightly touched her shoulder to make sure his girlfriend was alright, and Shizuru instantly shrugged over the touch. Reito furrowed his brows in confusion and the Kyoto-girl knew she had to be careful with her moves or she would look suspicious.

"Yes. Must be the swell. Don't worry though. At least I have a reasonable explanation for my odd behavior tonight." As soon as the words left her mouth, she saw the raven-haired girl move in the corner of her eyes. _So she is listening… _

"What do you mean?" Takeda asked unsure how to take the comment. Natsuki looked a bit alarmed, but kept silently observing the situation.

"I mean going All-in on such an uncertain situation. If I would have given it a second thought, I probably wouldn't have lost everything in one wrong move." Her tone was nonchalant, the mask flawless, only her heart hurt horribly under the sound of her own voice.

"You really are a sore loser, honey." Reito responded, not getting the ambiguousness of the girl's words. In fact she was quite sure that Natsuki was the only one in the room who spoke her language, and when the girl left the room to get her jacket with an icy comment, she was completely sure. "Fine with me. I don't feel like playing games anymore anyway." The husky voice sounded even lower than usual.

Takeda gave Shizuru and Reito an incredulous look and went after his girlfriend. Shizuru couldn't find the guts to meet Natsuki's gaze after what she had just stated. She felt horrible towards everyone around her and she wished for nothing more than to be alone right now. But staying with Reito was a better option than leaving with Natsuki and Takeda, and so she just said a quick goodbye and left for the kitchen.

An hour later Reito and Shizuru had cleaned up the apartment and the Kyoto-girl was lying wide awake in bed, playing the situation over and over in her head. It didn't make sense at all. None of her actions made sense to her. She didn't want to be here next to Reito right now. She felt like she deserved to be alone, but then she already felt guilty enough, and it was her duty to be at his side. The boy was already sound asleep as the annoying snoring made clear that went on for more than twenty minutes by now. The sound drove Shizuru crazy as her nerves were already tensed. The thought of another sleepless night wasn't helping either.

"Can you please turn around? You're snoring so loud that I can't even concentrate on thinking about sleeping." She practically snapped at him, instantly feeling sorry. _I have no right to speak like that to him… Not after what I did… _She could hear Reito turn with a huff before he mumbled:

"You're really acting odd lately… and I doubt it's only the swell on your head." Silence took over for a second. "The Shizuru I knew would have been glad that I am breathing at all." The words echoed in her mind for the rest of the night, not leaving the room until the first rays of sunlight darted to the curtains. _This can't be real…_

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><p><strong>AN:** Sorry, for the little delay. As I mentioned I had exams (which I passed with excellent grades btw…hooray). Then I had a guest over for a few days (pretty girls sure are a distraction…and an inspiration *cough* I'm sure all of you can understand). So, what did I do? I spent hours on this chapter because I wanted it to be perfect. It's an important chapter to me and I hope I was able to deliver the mood. Plus it's the longest chapter I've ever written +10.000 words my beta hates me now I guess.) But did you see the more reviews the longer the next chapter.

Finally, the first kiss. But what now? Oh my, a lot of stuff is going to happen. Will they tell the boys? Will they break up? Will they panic? Who knows…Well, I do. But I won't spoil you unless you spoil me with reviews ;-) Speaking of which…I wanted again to say thank you to all my readers and especially the reviewers. I was overwhelmed by the amount of reviews for the last chapter. I really hope to read a comment from all of you for this chapter too as I am very curious what you think of the first real interaction between Shizuru and Natsuki. The story sure has become popular which makes me super happy. Also my AMV's on YouTube got more attention these days. So if anyone had commented on #1 Crush or any of my other vids thank you as well. Oh and one last thing before I finally shut up. If any of you are on tumblr write me a pm and let me know. I am looking for stalkers…ahem followers.


	12. Rhapsody

"_**Trust is like a mirror; once it's broken you never look at it the same again." **_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**

**Disclaimer: Mai HiME. ******Not mine.****

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><p><strong>Chapter 12 – Rhapsody<strong>

The air around her was thick. A solid veil of guilt and pain was enclosing her mind before slowly getting a hold of her dreams and sending her in and out of the arms of a restless slumber while her fears engulfed the room. The body next to her was not as close as it used to be, or maybe she just couldn't feel the warmth anymore. Maybe she had stopped feeling anything at all. For the thousandth time, she made herself ready for turning around to the sleeping figure behind her to shake the boy out of his sleep screaming right into his face what a bad person she was, but nothing like that happened as the hands of time ticked away another minute of agonizing silence. Her breaths were flat, while her heart was leaping as a mental movie of her loss of control was repeated in her mind over and over. She had to tell him the truth, she needed to. He deserved to be treated with respect. He was so good to her. She wished she would be brave enough to do what was so obviously right, but she didn't even dare to move a finger. Doing wrong was so much easier. Instead of apologizing and begging, she stuck to lying. Just like she always did. _Though, it wasn't even lying… not yet at least. __It was simply staying silent. A silence that was probably more devastating than every word could ever be. _She literally hurt under her thoughts and all she could do was feel and endure the pain her own actions inflicted upon herself and probably even more so upon Natsuki. She wouldn't want Reito to feel this and neither had she wanted Natsuki to feel any of it. Yet, she knew she had done more damage than good with letting her emotions take over her body and soul. The image of the raven-haired girl hadn't left her thoughts once after she had stained those enticing lips with hers. She could still feel the sensation burning on her own, and it made her sick to take pleasure out of something that was so obviously immoral.

When Reito slowly started to move in the early light of morning, Shizuru instantly stiffened. Even after a whole night of preparation she didn't feel ready to face him. She concentrated on taking deep and regular breaths to make him believe that she was beyond exhausted. _Make him believe… _These words had become her best friend and worst enemy, slowly destroying everything around and inside of her.

The familiar rustling of sheets, and the long morning yawn usually made her feel at home, but right now it was only adding to the amount of discomfort she felt. She wanted to get away, to be somewhere else or even to be nowhere at all. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and counted the seconds. _Please take me away… _Not really knowing, or acknowledging, to whom her thoughts were directed, she waited for the boy to exit the room.

As soon as the bedroom door was closed she deeply inhaled the now seemingly much clearer air, and even allowed herself to get struck by some beams of the morning light. As she silently sat up on the empty bed, she clenched her gut, feeling completely horrible. One would think she would be used to that feeling by now as she felt like that quite often lately, but yesterday she surely had entered a new level of dreadful. The click of the front door made her not only snap out of her world of self-hatred, but also triggered her most basic survival instincts. _This is my chance to get out of here…_ She hurriedly grabbed her things, and practically ran out of the apartment. Of course, she made sure to leave a note for Reito that he shouldn't worry as she was busy with some homework stuff for her Literature class. _And here goes the first lie… But who keeps count anyway… _She figured that the boy had probably gone for his morning run, and she couldn't waste that opportunity to bring some (more) time and space between them. She had to figure things out with herself first, and even more than that she needed to be in her own place to allow the thoughts of Natsuki to enter her conscious again. The name was constantly burning in the back of her mind, but after what she did to Reito she hadn't allowed it to become more than a rhapsody throughout the night.

Two strong coffees and one hell of a headache later, the chestnut-haired girl was sitting on her couch aimlessly staring at the ceiling. She usually was a tea drinker, but she also usually didn't kiss girls... or cheat on her boyfriend with his best friend's girlfriend. _I bet even hell would reject me right now… Well, there seems to be no place left… Although I would prefer her arms… _She sighed. _Why can't I stop having such hopeful thoughts when I just pushed her that badly away from me after initiating the whole scenario? She must surely hate me by now, and I should be happy about it. I should be glad that she covered up for us… for me… But I am not. It hurts even more now… Why did it have to be so good anyway? Why couldn't I stop myself from wanting more? _She could feel her emotions taking over once again, and was shocked as her eyes became watery. Natsuki drove her nuts. The girl simply made her go crazy, yet she couldn't do anything about it. The more honest she became with her feelings concerning the raven-haired beauty the more deceitful she behaved towards Reito it seemed. _I guess after all longing is stronger than reason._ Suddenly all the sappy love songs seemed to make sense. And as all of her well built up walls started to crack, she reached out for her cell phone and started dialing.

When the other end of the line came to life with a click, her voice was barely more than a whisper. "We need to talk…" _I want to see you…_ It was odd to hear her own voice sounding so fragile and vulnerable, but hiding had become more tiresome than anything else lately.

After a fairly long pause, a husky voice replied just as silent: "Text me your address." The line instantly died away after the short and surreal conversation, leaving Shizuru to the cold static. Another minute of hesitation went by, before she sent the message that made her willingly face what she was most afraid of. _We have to talk about it. I need to know what Natsuki feels about the situation… what she feels about me… And most of all, I need to apologize for being a ghastly self-centered person last night._

Half an hour later, a light knock on the door let the panic that had been getting comfortable in her chest swell up again for a second. She knew she had been the one asking to see the other girl, but now that she was only a door away she wasn't so sure if it was the brightest idea. But something inside of her was calling out for Natsuki. The girl was like a siren without a voice; stunningly beautiful and tempting, but also deadly. Maybe not willingly, but still Shizuru knew that someone like Natsuki who had the potential to push her borders that far in such a short time was a serious threat for her sanity. Four years of a faithful relationship shattered for a short moment of madness. _Bliss…_ She hastily shook the thought off, and mentally prepared herself to face the other girl at the door. She would let her in… this way or another. There was no use in denying it anymore.

The raven-haired girl was standing tall in the frame as Shizuru slid the door open. Emeralds met rubies, and then there was only silence and a crumbled fragment of what was once called hesitation. Natsuki yelped in shock as Shizuru flung her arms around the girl's neck. She buried her head into the long dark strands, and inhaled deeply. The scent was like a familiar taste of poison, drugging her senses and overflowing her body with the warmth she had missed this morning. The raven-haired girl, however, just tensed under the closeness instead of hugging her back. Shizuru let go, feeling that she was making her opposite rather uncomfortable, and instead brought some distance between them. She said a short 'hello' that sounded much too formal after the affectionate outburst she had forced on her visitor a second ago. Natsuki only nodded in response, her expression stern when the taller girl gestured for her to come inside.

She took her time as she got rid of her boots and leather jacket which gave Shizuru an opportunity to steady her breathing along with her heart rate. The biker-girl was dressed in black tight jeans and a white tank top. Shizuru thought that it was a simple but rather fitting attire for the athletic body of Natsuki. She, herself, was wearing rather comfortable clothes with her short cut worn out blue jeans and a white blouse that matched the color of Natsuki's top. The silence was still the loudest sound in the doorway when she noticed that Natsuki still had her back turned to her, although she seemed to be done with the cast off.

"Thanks for coming, after…" She bit her lip as she feared to finish the sentence. _But that's why I wanted to see her right… to talk about everything. _"…after last night." It was odd not being able to see the reaction in the other girl's eyes, and Shizuru found it very hard to not just babble on to fill the vast distance between them.

The reply was short and icy. "No problem." _And that is the understatement of the year. _Shizuru thought, but kept it too herself as she was sure the other girl wasn't much into drama. It would be really hard to lead the conversation into the right direction since the other girl seemed to have frozen over.

"Shall we go inside the living room?" Shizuru said, not waiting for Natsuki's answer as she walked off into said room to place herself on the couch. Natsuki followed wordlessly, but instead of sitting down, she walked towards the window, eying her surroundings carefully. Shizuru watched the girl that looked a bit like a wary puppy. She didn't seem too interested in talking to the Kyoto-girl at all. _Why did she come if she can't even bear looking at me? _The silence really pulled on Shizuru's nerves, and made it hard for her to keep her emotions under control. It was so much easier to react to other people's actions as to be the one who would have to start off with honesty. _It makes you bare and vulnerable to initiate an honest talk, but if the other person starts you always can get away with an excuse or lie._ That was how her defense mechanisms usually work, but given the fact that Natsuki didn't care about etiquette at all, Shizuru finally spoke again.

"Would you like something to drink? A coffee maybe?" _Okay, on with the small talk first. _

"I am not here to drink coffee with you." Natsuki's voice was still calm, but it lacked the usual fighting spirit.

"Why are you here then?" Shizuru cocked a brow, after the girl had finally faced her with an indescribable look.

"You tell me!" It was undeniable that the tone got harsher, and it didn't help Shizuru at all to become braver.

"I wanted to apologize." Her voice was full of regret, which somehow helped to tame the husky counterpart.

"I see." The raven-haired girl was emotionless, at least it seemed like that, and it rendered Shizuru speechless. "So, after you've eased you're conscience am I free to go?" The conversation went from coldest ice to hottest fire and back again within seconds. It was hard to find common ground, and Shizuru was much too unstable to conceal anything. "Do you want to?" Her heart started pounding faster. She didn't want to know. She hadn't even meant to ask, but it was too late now, and Natsuki already formed an answer.

"To be free? Yes. To go? No... I wish I would though…"

The Kyoto-girl let the words sink in for a moment, after all she didn't really know what to make of them. She was confused. Natsuki seemed to be just as torn inside. _Are we both becoming bi-polar? And why does everything have to have something to do with 'bi'?_ Snapping out of her thoughts, she finally focused back on the conversation.

"Why would you want to stay?" The question was harmless, although for Shizuru, it was quite an achievement to be so honest or at least kind of.

"Because I want to know who you are." _She really is blunt… Thank god one of us is able to speak truthfully once in a while…_

"I thought you already figured me out." Shizuru said, her eyes averting the emerald orbs as she was not ready to stand the intense gaze longer than necessary. Instead, she focused on the moving lips. The lips she had captured with hers a day ago, or was it just a night, a moment… Whatever it was, it still lingered. She suddenly found them much more distracting than the striking green eyes.

"I thought so, too. But it seems there are still so many things to discover. You seem too perfect…" Shizuru watched Natsuki walking over to the balcony door that was blocked with her easel. She had meant to tidy up a bit, but she must have forgotten to put it away. The hands of the serious girl gripped one of the paint tubes that was labeled azure-blue, and fumbled with it as if she was uncomfortable.

"I really believe you're mistaken about me. I am not perfect."

"Huh? I never thought you were." The surprise in the husky voice caused Shizuru's head to snap back at the startled girl, who had raised an eyebrow in slight amusement. "I said 'seem'." Natsuki added as if to make it even clearer that she was far from thinking that the Kyoto-girl was perfect. Shizuru mentally cursed, while having a really hard time fighting down her embarrassment over the situation. _Shoot! Of course, she doesn't think I am perfect. Those damn fan girls have been flattering me way too long. _And as if Natsuki enjoyed seeing the crimson-eyed girl inwardly struggle she added with an amused grin: "To be honest, you're a rather flawed character."

"Why, thank you." came the sarcastic response. _I am crazy, too. Did you know?_

"That's what I like about you." It was so simple, and yet coming from the former icy voice, it melted Shizuru's heart in an instant. She was prepared for screaming, yelling or even physical violence but not for the other girl to like her still.

"Like." Shizuru felt completely stupid for saying that aloud, but it was too late now anyways. She would go look for her dignity later. Now she had to go through with this; idiotic or not.

"Yes. Like." Natsuki confirmed as she seemed to sense the change of mood.

"I like you, too." Shizuru started, not knowing if she should say her thoughts out loud as they would surely cause her trouble sooner or later. _No regrets… _With one deep breath she let go of her concerns, and let her Kyoto-ben flow. "But I think that your 'like' and my 'like' are different." Shizuru had never been so blunt in her life before, but little did she know that Natsuki might have caught the complete wrong idea of that statement. The flicker of hope inside the sparkling green eyes instantly was replaced by a solemn look, and Shizuru had no idea how to read that reaction. She was much too preoccupied with sitting calmly on the couch while she lay her heart down in front of the not very happy seeming girl. Now that she had finally admitted to having feelings towards her she had hoped for some kind of reaction, but Natsuki looked like all the life had been sucked out of her all of a sudden. Neither of them seemed to be able to cover all the angles as they kept talking past each other.

Natsuki once more brought her eyes up to meet dashing crimson. "I am not your little experiment. Don't ever do something like yesterday again then." Her emeralds flashed almost dangerously although it was mere self-defense than anything else.

"Of course not, I'm deeply sorry for not considering your feelings." Shizuru squeezed her eyes shut and hung her head low, not able to take the rejection. "I just… I thought you liked it, too…"

"I did, but apparently it doesn't change anything…" Natsuki's voice wasn't angry anymore, it was silent…almost defeated.

"I see. I'm sorry I have forced myself on you then… Still, thanks for covering up for me."

"You mean lying." Natsuki corrected bitterly.

"Yes. Lying." Again, silence started to fill up the room. It wasn't a good silence. It was that kind of silence one only wants to get away; where lungs beg to break it with a sigh, a word, a thought… anything that could lift the poisonous veil.

"I should get going. I'm sorry for messing up your life." The raven-haired girl said, her words slicing the air between them.

"Don't be… "Shizuru's needed all her strength to keep her voice from cracking." Can you do me one last favor?" Natsuki gave her a skeptical look, yet she didn't deny the request.

"Could you not mention this to Takeda? You know he's Reito's best friend, and I wouldn't want to break his heart over this. Maybe I will be able to get things straight again with him." _Straight, indeed…_

"Sure. Although, I doubt he would be too pissed. I bet he would enjoy the image of you making out with another girl." The husky voice was a mixture of bitter and sarcastic.

"I guess, that might be the case if I didn't have these feelings…" Shizuru was not really shocked about saying it aloud again. _It doesn't matter anyway now, does it? She already knows I have strange thoughts about her._

"Huh?"

Both girls stared at each other in utter shock while slowly realizing that they had completely talked at cross purpose. Natsuki absent-mindedly took a step backwards causing the easel to shake as she hit it with her elbow by accident. She turned around to look if she did any damage and to hide her burning cheeks.

"Did you paint this?" It seemed futile to try to go back to small talk just now, but the raven-haired girl had to settle down and sort out her thoughts first. She tried to rehearse the conversation in her head for picking out the valid information and checking if she really assumed the right things by now. After all, she can't fully trust herself when it comes to the Kyoto-beauty for her heart was willing to make a fool out of herself ever so often.

"Uh, yes." Shizuru's voice was just as insecure, and Natsuki was relieved that she wasn't all alone with needing a small break from being emotional. The Kyoto-born shifted her weight, a sure sign of being completely uncomfortable, not only with the situation but also with the picture that was standing on the easel. _Why didn't I realize earlier? I should have put that away. She already thinks I'm a perverted weirdo. Oh wait no. She does not… After all our conversation was just a huge misunderstanding. Well, considering the painting she'll think the perverted part by now. _Shizuru's gaze followed Natsuki's on the canvas. A female figure was standing on the edge of a cliff, while her bare skin was coated in moonlight. Not wanting to say anything about the painting, Shizuru waited for Natsuki to speak again.

"It's beautiful." _It's you... _

"Sooo…" Shizuru could feel her cheeks getting warmer than usual, which triggered nervous fumbling of her hands. _Wow, did the temperature just increase? Must be the sunlight… I need blinds. Topic change! Now!_ "You like my paintings. That's nice. Very nice." _What am I twelve now? _She stood up and walked over to the easel, stopping beside the other girl.

"Yes, I do like the fact that you're painting naked women." _Is she flirting with me? Of course she is. It would be so much clearer if she were a guy… Thank god, she isn't. She's such a beautiful girl._

"It's called nude and it's an art, and… what did I want to say again?" Shizuru completely lost her train of thoughts as she stared deeply in Natsuki's alluring green eyes. _Oh no, she's in control again. That's not good. I need to regain power._ She cleared her voice, and commented in her most seductive Kyoto-ben: "Does Natsuki want to be my model?"

"I don't think I could sit still for so long." Natsuki voice had completely changed. The huskiness was replaced by a warm and almost playful tone. "What about you? You seem rather disciplined to sit through things."

It was a habit of the Kyoto-girl to start a sentence with 'ara' when she was a bit surprised or needed a moment to think of an appropriate and witty answer. The little word gave her enough time to sort out her thoughts, and to distract the collocutor long enough. Usually… Right now though, she was confused enough to say it more than once, but she figured Natsuki would think she was mental if she babbled countless ara's in response, and so she stuck to one. "Ara, I didn't know Natsuki was into art."

"I'm not. At least I never tried. Art is for rich people." There was a light pout on the face of the emerald-eyed girl, and Shizuru instantly thought it was irresistibly cute. She just had to tease her a little.

"And Natsuki doesn't think she's rich?" The Kyoto-ben got thicker as Shizuru used her most seductive voice just to watch the reaction of her opposite. She was acting by instinct for she surely hadn't thought of any consequences by now. When Natsuki had entered the apartment, it was as if she had closed out the ghost of guilt.

"Umm…" The reaction was as desired, bringing out a smile from her. She inwardly leaned in, which caused the cheeks of her counterpart to fire up. "Art is not about money. It's about passion." Shizuru purred, her lips being dangerously close to the ear of the nervous girl. She slowly bent back after she had rendered Natsuki speechless, and watched the flustered face with amusement, her eyes once again lingering on the full lips, which slightly moved as if they wanted to say something.

"Could you like… err… stop staring at my lips? It makes me feel rather uncomfor… nervous." Natsuki finally said barely audible while her eyes focused on the floor. Shizuru found that she had pushed the boundaries enough. After all, she didn't even know where this conversation was going or where she wanted it to go. At least she didn't admit it. _It's great to use my strongest weapon against myself. Self-deception is almost better than deceiving others…_ Her mood instantly darkened as she mentally felt the guilt knocking on her door. _Why, hello there. What has taken you so long…_ Becoming aware of being stared at by Natsuki, she figured that she must have been drowned in her inner shadows way too long, and so she hastily turned around to search for a new canvas. "There you go." She said, as she held out the white rectangle.

Natsuki needed a second to understand what Shizuru had in mind, but finally grabbed it and replaced the painting on the easel with it. The green eyes looked the blank fabric up and down before turning back to the taller girl. "Teach me." Natsuki said with a light smile on her lips.

"What? Art?" Shizuru's eyes had a hint of disbelief in them as if she was figuring out if Natsuki was serious or not, but before she could come to a decision, Natsuki had already answered.

"I don't think it's teachable, but what about giving me some basic instructions for painting? Or are you satisfied with looking like a stick figure?"

"Alright, let's see." A smile graced her lips as she took one of the brushes out of the water jar. She carefully placed it in Natsuki's hand and positioned herself behind the slightly shorter girl. Natsuki instinctively held her breath as the gap between their bodies vanished. The head of the crimson-eyed girl was closely hovering above the right shoulder of the painting rookie, while Shizuru's hand stroked down the slender arm that was clutching the brush tightly. When she had reached the end, she lightly intertwined their fingers, causing the grip of the tensed girl to loosen.

"It's all about perception." Shizuru whispered into Natsuki's ear, finally causing her to breathe again, although it was rather unsteady. "You have to pay close attention to what you're drawing, on how you look at things, how you want to show what you regard. Art is to display beauty in the vastest form you see. Not only with your eyes, but with your heart… What does your heart see, Natsuki?" Every whisper sent a shiver down the raven-haired girl's spine, and it became unbearably hard to focus on the words instead of the breaths that were tickling her neck. Natsuki formed the word 'you' with her lips but her voice didn't give it a sound. Shizuru, who was still behind her couldn't see it, and therefore, assumed Natsuki didn't answer the question. She could feel Natsuki slightly tremble, and felt the need to press herself against the girl even more, but she knew she shouldn't, at least not without a coherent reason, and so she refrained from letting her body get the best of her again. Instead, she tried to focus on the little painting introduction she was about to give. She had to admit she quite enjoyed being in control, and she wouldn't let this teasing opportunity go to waste. After all, she had made a huge fool out of herself earlier by confessing what had been bothering her for so long. The feeling of simply doing what she wanted at the moment was intoxicating, and it kept all the thoughts concerning her relationship out of her head. They were all alone in Shizuru's place. How much safer could a place be? It didn't matter anymore if it was wrong. It felt right, and that was all Shizuru needed right now.

With a light smile on her lips, she started to move Natsuki's arm from left to right; ever so lightly stroking the air as if painting an invisible image that only she was able to see. Natsuki didn't complain as she allowed herself to be led by the taller girl behind her.

"Your strokes must flow. Capture your feelings with the motions of your arm and hand." Natsuki nodded in approval as a sign that she was still listening. Her green eyes were staring straight at the invisible painting in front of her. Shizuru found the sight mesmerizing and wished she would have the chance to see that look more often. _How on earth can a human being be so stunningly beautiful?_

She absent-mindedly laid her free hand over the hip of Natsuki, only recognizing her own action when the other girl inhaled sharply. She should stop what she was doing right here and right now, but then what was she doing? Giving a painting lesson? Flirting? She couldn't answer the question, nor did she want to. It was what it was, and she enjoyed it. She enjoyed the warmth, the tension, the breaths, the whole atmosphere that was loaded with so much energy. She didn't want this moment to pass.

"That's all?" Natsuki's voice was now also barely more than a whisper, and the words seemed so ambiguous that Shizuru didn't knew if she should just say yes or push her luck even more. It was risky being so close, flirting with someone you are obviously attracted to, but it was also hot and irresistible.

"Not quite." She purred, as she moved their bodies a little to the left. "What's also important is coloring." Natsuki again nodded, not knowing that she had just given permission for a teasing marathon. Shizuru smiled, and proceeded with the lesson. She didn't really know why she kept whispering, but somehow it didn't feel right to speak any louder at this moment.

"Coloring is much easier than one would think. It's all about pressure."

"Mh?" For the first time, Natsuki didn't simply nod and Shizuru was more than happy about it. _As planned…_ She smirked to herself before pressing her body into Natsuki's. Her left hand that had been occupying the spot right above Natsuki's pelvic bone was now wandering around the girl's waist to encircle her in a tight embrace. Shizuru eyed the face of the raven-haired girl closely, and couldn't suppress a light chuckle as it fired up under the pressure of her hips against Natsuki's back. It felt good to see that her movements did something to the other girl. It made her feel less awkward as she was just as affected by their closeness. _At least we're both weird…_

"So that's about the coloring. You see, the more pressure you apply the stronger the color gets." The chuckles along with the teasing voice caused Natsuki to snap out of her world and made her realize that the other girl had been doing this on purpose. This wasn't a painting lesson, this was a huge tease. She jumped away from the Kyoto-beauty, and looked at her with angry eyes. She wasn't really angry though, as she had rather enjoyed the closeness. She hastily cleared her throat, and tried to sound as cool as possible. "Okay, I think I got the basics. Let's go to the next level. You can go model now."

"Where does Natsuki want me?" Shizuru, who had just warmed up didn't feel the need to stop their little flirting game just now. She could almost grab the tension between them that was obviously not erased by last night's incident.

The biker gulped nervously before replying: "Err, on the couch." The answer triggered the next super blush, and Shizuru started to feel a little sorry. "Umm… I mean going horizontal on the couch. I… God damn it, woman!" Natsuki really started to feel idiotic. She had to say she somehow enjoyed that the chestnut-haired woman finally eased up a bit, yet she didn't know if she could take all the teasing or if she would have to silence her with her lips.

"Aren't you bold today?" _We're just fooling around, right... _Shizuru knew it wasn't just fooling around, but she couldn't stay away from the fire even though she had burnt herself pretty badly last night. She wanted more. More pain, more suffering, more sensation. She wanted the situation to get out of hand. She just didn't want to admit it openly. Admitting would be willingly cheating. But lying to herself made it nothing more than a loss of control. _Yes, I am just out of my mind. Temporarily…_

Shizuru watched Natsuki shifting the easel in front of the couch. She positioned herself between Natsuki and the stand, and stared daringly in the emerald eyes of her opposite. "Ara, what are you waiting for?"

"You still need to undress and lie down." Natsuki's smirk and husky voice made the words sound so damn sexy that Shizuru had a hard time acknowledging that it was just a counter to her former teasing. The wink made it quite clear, yet she couldn't stop herself from taking the reply more serious than it was actually meant. She knew she would again set the fire ablaze, but in reality… or should she say dreams… she wanted it to burn down all her defenses. She wanted to be consumed by it. She longed for it, and right now she was willing to pay every prize to feel those lips on hers again. Once more her eyes drifted slowly down from green to pink.

"Make me…" Her words were breathed upon Natsuki's mouth, shattering all defenses and flaming up their minds and hearts. Natsuki didn't hesitate another second as she crashed her lips onto Shizuru in a fierce motion that let Shizuru tumble backwards. Both instantly lost their balance, but instead of trying to prevent greater evil they allowed themselves to fall into the easel, and into each other…

Shizuru could hear the wood crack under her back but right now she couldn't care less as all of her senses were focused on taking in every bit of the girl on top of her. If she could she would embrace Natsuki with all her heart, but her hands were pinned to the side by the strong arms of the biker. All she could do was kiss her back, and no matter how much she enjoyed it, it wasn't enough. She wanted to be closer, to feel the skin of the other girl against her own. It was almost painful not being able to touch the body above her. She was panting slightly, and was pressed down to the floor even harder as she struggled to free her hand. Natsuki was smiling lightly into the kiss, and Shizuru couldn't help but smile along. It was so twisted to smile while she was doing something so horrible. But she couldn't do anything about it. Kissing Natsuki today was just as exciting as yesterday, and she was amazed how good of a kisser the other girl was now that she let Natsuki take the lead. As Natsuki broke the kiss for a second to take in some much needed air, she looked deeply into the crimson eyes as if she wanted to make sure that it was okay, and although it wasn't okay at all, Shizuru didn't signal her to stop. Not wanting to stop herself, Natsuki bent down again when a weird sound coming from the easel beneath them stopped her for a second. They both stared at each other with puzzled looks on their faces. Natsuki reached under Shizuru's left shoulder, and immediately pulled her hand back with a disgusted look.

"Urgh!" The face was priceless, and Shizuru started laughing when she saw that Natsuki's hand was stained in red paint.

"Ara, it seems Natsuki has wounded me deeply." Natsuki's disgusted face was replaced with a warm smile as she carefully placed her hand right above Shizuru's left breast. A red circle remained on the skin that was holding back Shizuru's heavy beating heart from jumping out.

"Through and through…" Natsuki whispered as she kept staring at the red spot. Her right hand now placed over Shizuru's ribcage, staining the white blouse even more.

"I wish… But I believe it's still stuck inside…" The Kyoto-ben was floating softly through the heated air as they kept staring into each other eyes. It was much too intimate for being pure madness, but neither of them was able to put an end to it.

"Either way. It left a mark. Somehow…"

Shizuru loved the way Natsuki made everything sound so damn beautiful. She brought her hand up, which was stained with blue paint and cupped Natsuki's cheek for pulling her into another kiss. She wrapped her now free arms around the girl on top of her and pressed their bodies close together. Natsuki moaning into her mouth caused her to go animalistic for a second. Without giving a thought to morality, she slid her hands under the white tank top triggering a shiver from the raven-haired girl. The skin was burning under her fingers, and she felt completely aroused by the heavy breathing that erupted between the kisses. They had gone much too far to stop right now, and so Natsuki slowly started to unbutton the now dirty blouse of Shizuru. Paint was scattered all around them making them look like they had fallen into a puddle of mud. But they didn't care for anything except melting into each other. Shutting out all the screams of regret, she lifted the once white tank top completely. As Natsuki bent down, a pendant on a long chain that had been hidden under the cloths fell on Shizuru's chest. She only took a quick peek, before pulling Natsuki down on the chain to capture her lips again.

She felt as if her heart was about to explode when her fingers carefully explored the soft skin of Natsuki's back, tracing an invisible line along the ribcage. She took some time to caress the abdomen muscles before she came to a stop right under the laces of the black bra, not daring to go any further just yet. After all, it felt weird to explore a different female body than her own. She had to admit that Natsuki really was beyond perfection, and she felt too insecure to let her hands wander any further.

The sound of her cellphone harshly shook them out of their reverie, and brought back all the gravity that they had kissed away moments ago. And it was heavy. The more her mind started to clear the more terrified Shizuru became of her actions. _I can't believe I just cheated again! What's wrong with me? Why can't I stay away from her? _Natsuki looked just as guilty as she allowed Shizuru to stand up, both of them suddenly feeling completely uncomfortable around each other. Shizuru hastily grabbed her blouse, before checking her cellphone. _Of course, it had to be Reito…_

'Hope you could finish your homework. I have a surprise for you.'

The letters went blurry for a second as she felt dizzy over the words. _I can't believe what I'm doing here… But it had been way too sexy. No one would have been able to resist at that moment, right?_ She was sure that this action was more excusable than their first kiss. At least that was what she wanted to believe. _Well, technically it was three kisses. So, this one was probably the fourth. Who keeps count anyway? _

Natsuki and Shizuru both jumped at the sound of the doorbell, staring at each other with a horrified expression. Shizuru tied her messy hair back into a sloppy pony tail, before she threw the tank top towards the still topless girl. She got over to the door, trying to put her mask in place. Whoever it was, she would have to lie. No matter what. She could feel that her cheeks were still burning from the arousal, but she would master the situation by all means. She was prepared to face anyone, even Reito… well probably not Reito, but maybe Mai or any of her other friends. She swung the door open wearing her brightest fake smile one could imagine, but it didn't last longer than a second before it vanished when her ruby eyes caught sight of the figures in the doorframe.

"Mother… Father…" She gulped inaudibly. "What a pleasure to see you…" Trying hard to keep her voice and face composed she put her smile back in place.

"Shizuru, darling. It's been a while, hasn't it?" The woman with long brown hair and hazel eyes proclaimed happily with a thick Kyoto-ben.

"Indeed. What brings you here?" Shizuru tried to sound just as happy even though on the inside she wasn't happy at all.

"Can't your parents just come to pay you a visit?" The deep voice from the man with gray hair didn't sound nearly as friendly.

"Of course, it's always good to see you." _Always meaning always but now…_

"So, will you let us in?" Her father said, already sounding a little annoyed.

"Sure." She stepped away and allowed her parents to enter the apartment. Her mother didn't take the time to wait for her, as she was already making her way through the hallway.

"The drive was such a pain. You really should look for a better apartme… Oh my god! Sweet Jesus, Shizuru, what happened? Have you been robbed?" Her mother's face showed all shades of disbelief as she stood in front of the living. Just when Shizuru thought hard of a plausible lie, Natsuki came out of the room, and started to put on her leather jacket. She just gave a courteous nod, and then bent down to slip in her boots. Shizuru's parents both watched the girl with incredulity before they brought their full attention back to their daughter. Of course, her mother was much too polite to speak her thoughts aloud, but Shizuru knew that gaze.

"Mother, father, this is my friend Kuga Natsuki. We're going to the same literature class. The one with Mrs. Bradstone."

"Literature?" Her father who had raised his brows in mistrust eyed Natsuki over again. "I would have at least assumed it was an art class."

Shizuru was speechless for a second as her father flashed a devastating glance. She instinctively searched the eyes of her mother, but the only thing she found was suspicion. Natsuki seemed to sense the strange atmosphere behind her back, and turned around to catch Shizuru's lost gaze. The emeralds relieved her for a second before the harsh voice of his father broke the short moment of serenity.

"So… Mrs. Kuga. Would you care to join us for tea?" The tone in which her father asked sent Shizuru's mind on alert. Her father was up to nothing good. She had to get Natsuki out of here. Now!

"No really, Natsuki was just about to leave." Shizuru's voice was flawless and friendly as ever, but she couldn't fully hide the panic in her eyes. She didn't want Natsuki to get involved in family matters. Her father always had been kind of distant towards her, especially considering her having close friends, and the whole situation just looked too wrong. She didn't want their parents to get the wrong idea. _Though to be fair, it wouldn't be the wrong idea would it? _

"Oh, really. It looks more like we've interrupted you two in the middle of… something." Shizuru again looked at her mother, but the hazel eyes were watching her sharply instead of helping her.

"I am not quite sure what you mean, father." She replied in her sweetest voice spilling more venom into the already poisoned air.

She noticed that the gaze of mother drifted back into the living room before once more scanning the stained clothes of both girls. _Oh no…_

"Ara, this was… We had to work on a project for university and the easel broke." Shizuru was trying hard to save the situation, but the words seemed to drip off her father as he passed her to step into the living room completely. He silently walked over to the scattered paint tubes.

"A project. I see." The low voice cut through the room before he picked up the canvas that was leaning against the balcony door. He eyed the painting intensely before putting it away again. Shizuru felt more than embarrassed, but she knew better than to reveal any of her insecurities. _Why didn't I put that damn painting away? It caused me trouble more than once today, although I much preferred the 'trouble' with Natsuki._

"And you're sure your friend doesn't want to join us? Reito will be here too in a few minutes." The man's voice sounded nice, but Shizuru could tell from the way he was pronouncing the word friend that nothing good would come out of this idea.

"No, she already has a dinner engagement with her boyfriend Takeda. You remember him? It's Reito's best friend."

"Barely." came the one-syllabic reply.

"Alright, it's already late. Better not make Takeda wait." Shizuru said, now turning towards Natsuki with the same fake voice that she used with her parents. The raven-haired girl gave her an intense look in response, but Shizuru didn't falter, and practically started to shove the girl outside.

Natsuki didn't say anything nor did she fight back. Only when Shizuru voiced a silent sorry before she closed the door for good, she sent her one more skeptical look. As soon as the door was closed, the chestnut-haired girl let out a sigh of relief. Not because she was glad to get rid of Natsuki, but because she had spared the girl a lot of nasty comments. She could tell by the way her father looked at the biker girl that he was suspicious, and she didn't like the look in his cold brown eyes at all. He wasn't a mean man, but he was calculating.

"Shizuru, darling. Why are you hanging around such people? I know Takeda is a good friend, but do you really have to put up with his little girlfriends?" Her mother's voice sounded so disdainful it made her sick.

"I am not spending time with her because of Takeda, mother. I like her. She is nice." Her father didn't even bother to join the dialogue, and there really was no need as her mother pulled out all the stops.

"How can she even afford to study at your university? Does she have rich parents? I don't think so or else she wouldn't run around like a boy would she?"

"She is on a scholarship. She's actually very talented, and…" Shizuru didn't even know why she was defending Natsuki, but somehow she hated the way her mother judged the girl only by briefly looking at her.

"Either way, just don't get too close to her. Such people are never good company. You have a name to lose, Shizuru."

"But I…"

"Don't you talk back to your mother like that, Shizuru." Finally her father felt appointed to step in, and Shizuru knew this conversation was over.

"Of course, father…"

As the doorbell rang again, she really wished it was Natsuki to take her somewhere far away, but the smile of her mother already bespoke that it was Reito. When she let the boy in, she felt completely awkward in greeting him with a kiss, although it should feel perfectly normal. But suddenly his lips felt rough, and his perfect smile annoyed her. _Probably because I'm absolutely stressed out from my parents. I should be thankful that he is here to save me. At least one ally in this unfair fight._

"Did you have a paint war while we were separated?" He flashed a smile.

"Kind of…" was her dry response. She wanted to say something nicer than this but couldn't think of anything accurate. Thankfully her mother saved her before Reito could get any more suspicious.

"Reito, darling. You look fabulous like always." The voice of her mother became somehow annoying. In fact, the whole situation became more and more annoying.

"My my Mrs. Fujino, the pleasure is all mine. You look quite dashing yourself." He turned his head to the tall man on his right. "Hello Mr. Fujino."

"Hello my boy, how are your law studies going? Ready to take over our company already, huh?" The low voice of Shizuru's father had completely changed into a friendly playful one. Hearing her parents chatter so happily with Reito made her feel like an outcast. She rolled her eyes before readjusting her mask.

"I suppose you're entertained for now. May I excuse myself for a short shower?" She said, darling as ever.

"Go ahead, sweetheart. I'll make some tea." Reito said in his sweetest voice, although he had eyed her suspiciously ever since he had entered the living room.

"Don't even think about it. You sit down with my husband while I prepare the tea." Shizuru's mother said with a jolly voice before turning to Shizuru to gesture for her to go to the bathroom already.

_Will this nightmare ever end…?_

The sound of the key locking the door made her feel safe for the first time after she had practically thrown out the raven-haired girl. She couldn't believe what was happening in her sanctuary. Everything seemed so perfect… so discreet, and suddenly her privacy was completely invaded. _Why did they have to show up at that moment? Karma is slowly getting to me I suppose, or… _She suddenly remembered the text she got from Reito a few seconds before her parents rang her doorbell. _He must have invited them! Why on earth?!_ She could feel herself getting slightly angry at Reito over the thought, but she didn't allow herself to take her guilt and regret out on him. Although she didn't really regret her actions with Natsuki, which made her even more disgusted with herself. _Blaming yourself for not feeling guilty is the same as feeling guilty in the first place._ She allowed her mind to be shut off by the pouring water. She took her time for she silently had the futile hope that her parents didn't have much time, and might already be about to leave when she got out. Of course, it was nothing like that.

When Shizuru came back, the living room was cleaned and tidied up. The paint spots were completely gone along with the broken easel, which was now leaning against the balcony door.

"Finally." Her father said as she sat down at the table, but Shizuru wouldn't let herself get affected by his comment. She could tell that he had been already angry when he entered the apartment. _He's probably mad that he was dragged here when he has important business meetings to attend. But what on earth can be so important that my mother could drag him here…_ Getting a little uncomfortable, she started nervously shifting her weight on the chair. Her mother seemed to sense the unease, and smiled reassuringly at her.

"Reito and I were just talking about some business matters. Did you know that they're about to have a new law concerning accrual?" His father had that special gleam in his eyes that always showed when he talked about business.

"No, I didn't know." She was much too exhausted to hide the boredom in her voice. _Is he seriously here to talk about his company now?_

"Well, you should know if you're going to help Reito take care of the family business one day." Her father's voice was not only intense, it was almost insisting. They've had that conversation a hundred times, and Shizuru always made it clear that she doesn't desire to work in the company, but to make her own money. Her parents didn't approve of her studies or wishes. Still they gave her a certain amount of money as they wanted their daughter to live a wealthy life. She was a Fujino after all.

"I thought we already had that conversation. You do know that I am majoring in Literature and Art, right?" She said as friendly as she could.

"It's design. Not art. You can always take extra classes to specialize in Product Design. That'll make the perfect match with Reito's law studies. You two will be an indestructible team."

"That day is still far away, isn't it Mr. Fujino?" And I think we already are a great team." He looked at Shizuru for reassurance, and she quickly nodded to convince everyone in the room including herself.

"You can never be prepared enough. Real men always plan ahead, right?"

Reito received a slap on the back after he gave Mr. Fujino a courteous nod in response.

"Shizuru, darling. Can you come and help me in the kitchen for a second?" For the first time today, the chestnut-haired girl was more than happy to hear her mother's voice as she saved her from the man talk in the room that had been her Neverland an hour ago.

"Sure, mother." She answered before she strode towards the kitchen oblivious to the fact that it wouldn't be the call of safety she was hoping for.

Mrs. Fujino was not looking at her daughter when the girl entered the room. She was too busy focusing on cleaning the dishes, but Shizuru instantly sensed the awkward atmosphere.

"Mother…" She inhaled, not sure if she truly wanted to know. "Why are you really here today?"

"Can you hand me the cups over there, sweetheart?"

Another minute ticked away before her mother started speaking, her eyes still pinned to the sink.

"Reito is very handsome. Certainly a great guy, right?" She asked, although it sounded more like a statement.

"Yes, he is." Shizuru said, her voice becoming lower.

"And he's also the perfect match for you. Your father and I are really happy that you found yourself such a great boyfriend."

Shizuru didn't know what to say or if she was supposed to say anything at all. _Where is this conversation going… I don't think I like it. Do they know something?_

"We had a talk with Reito when you were showering. He told us that he is a bit worried about you."

"He is? What is there to worry about?"

"Shizuru." Her mother turned around and gave her smile. It was that kind of smile she had learned to fear, and seeing the mask of her mother so perfectly in place chilled Shizuru to the bone for she knew it wasn't real. She knew it because she did this herself ever so often. "Please don't make yourself unhappy. Don't jeopardize your relationship. All of us may be temporarily blinded or not satisfied, but I doubt that any other guy out there would be serious competition for Reito. Your father was not very pleased to hear that your relationship isn't going smoothly. He really loves the idea of Reito as his heir."

"I am not married to him, mother. I am only 22. Who knows if we'll be together forever?"

"Well, Reito thinks differently about that. In fact, he is quite sure that he is going to marry you in the hopefully not too distant future. Believe me, your father would love to make him marry you right now, but Reito is too considerate to get engaged before he has finished his studies. Still, he and your father have come to a kind of agreement." The voice of her mother was now as chilling as the expression in her eyes.

"What is this? An invasion of my freedom? Don't I have a say in this? What kind of agreement?" It was so hard to be composed when everyone around her was telling her what to do.

"Keep your voice down, lady! That's no way to talk to your mother."

"I'm deeply sorry, but I am old enough to make my own decisions." Shizuru tried to control her voice again, not only because she knew that yelling wouldn't help her, but also because she didn't want her father and Reito to eavesdrop on the conversation.

"You might be old enough, but you don't always make the best decisions for yourself. Your father and I gave you the freedom to study this nonsense, but when it comes to your future concerning our company we still have a say." It was terrifying how her mother coated the deadly words in smooth Kyoto-ben.

"So my love life is a business matter." Shizuru stated, trying to filter out the truth.

"Don't be so melodramatic. You should stop reading so much poetry. It makes your mind weak."

"I am not being melodramatic. You're being irrational." It was so hard to hold back all of the things that were boiling on her tongue, but she knew she had to play this way. She always had to play this way around her parents. The only way that they would listen to anything was if it was accompanied by a friendly smile. She patiently waited for her mother to react to the little insult, but the woman seemed to ignore it completely as she changed the topic out of the blue.

"Reito told us you two are spending a lot of time apart. He said you're busy with homework." The brown haired woman made a small pause, as she concentrated on polishing the glass in her hand much more accurately than needed. "Isn't it just the start of the semester? You shouldn't be too busy if you have time for having 'friends' over." Shizuru didn't like the pronunciation of that word friend the slightest bit, but she wasn't going to mention this.

"What? Is this an interrogation?" She was amazed that she had her voice so balanced although she was furious on the inside. _Who do they think they are interfering in my life like this? _

"It wouldn't be if you would be a little more talkative, darling. Your father and I are just worried about you. You see, Reito is such good man, and we wouldn't want you to waste your time on people such as Miss… What was her name again?"

"Natsuki… Her name is Kuga Natsuki." The name felt much too precious to be forgotten so easily.

"Well, whatever. Just make sure that you spend more time with your boyfriend than with girls who dress like boys." The nonchalant sounding statement was more than a threat. That she was sure of. She could tell by the intense glance her mother sent her just before the face softened again. "Shall we go back to the living room then?" Shizuru suddenly felt sick. The whole conversation was so awkward and out of place. It wasn't exactly like the calm before a storm, but she was sure the storm would come nonetheless.

"Very well, mother." Her voice was indifferent, being a heavy contrast to her inner struggle. She followed the slightly shorter woman back into the living room where Reito and her father still had a lively chat. She watched them for a few moments with concerned eyes. As long as she could remember her parents had always thought greatly of Reito, and Shizuru was proud that they seemed to see the same in him as she did, but watching them act so familiar right now made her heart feel heavy.

"I think it's time for us to leave." The deep voice of her father cut through her melancholy like a scalpel. But thankfully the said words themselves lifted her spirits a bit. She was sure that she would be able to breathe a bit lighter when her parents leave the apartment.

They said their goodbyes rather impersonally, just like they always did, leaving Shizuru and Reito to themselves in the now immaculate apartment. The chestnut-haired girl could feel amber eyes upon her, but wasn't ready to look into them just now. She turned, and made her way towards the living room, Reito following closely behind. She didn't sit down on the couch like usual. It didn't feel right to be anywhere near the spot that had just been cleaned of its stains. _From my sin…_ The scent of the polish suddenly became so overwhelming that it felt a bit like Poe's Tell-tale heart. _I should tell him what happened, tell him that I made a mistake… but then, was it a mistake? It has to be… Cheating is never right._

"Shizuru, I wanted to speak with you about something." Reito voice sounded insecure. Not playful as usual.

_Oh my god, he knows…_

"I've been thinking a lot about us." The seriousness in his eyes let her heart sink below her feet, and she just wished to follow it on the way down. _Although, I should rather stop following that deceitful thing…_

"Me too." She said, unable to hide the sorrow anymore.

"That's… I'm glad to hear that. I have to admit I was a bit worried because you acted a little peculiar lately. I'm sorry that your parents overran you like this, but you know how protective they are when it comes to you."

_You mean when it comes to their heir._

Reito searched for her eyes, and Shizuru granted him the silent wish, although she had to gather all her strength to hide the guilt.

"So, you invited them here." She stated matter-of-factly.

"Well, they invited themselves. But I did call them yes." He paused to walk over to the ruby-eyed girl, stopping right in front of her, taking her hands his. "Because I had some matters to discuss with them. I wanted to make sure it's alright with them before I ask you."

Not really wanting the contact at the moment, she drew her hands back. "I'm not quite sure I follow you."

"Shizuru, I think it would be good for us to live together." The words were hanging in the air, sucking all the oxygen out of her lungs.

"You mean…" Her eyes became wide in horror.

"Yes, I want you to move in with me."

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><p><strong>AN:** Alright guys. First of all, I am really sorry this is a week later than expected but the story is getting more complex and I want to pay close attention to all the scenes because I am neurotic and a perfectionist. I've read too many stories that started off great and became sloppy and boring in the end, hence I need the time to write, especially when I have only little time to spare. As you already know, I have a job, my studies, tons of hobbies, pretty distracting girls surrounding me, and you know… the usual stuff. I had hard time deciding where to end this chapter because actually I had more planned for it. But I thought I might cut it here and pack the other stuff in the beginning of the next one. The next one I believe is gonna be huge…Very much will happen in the fabulous chapter 13…Good and bad stuff, depending from which perspective you're looking at^^ I am so happy that you guys are such patient readers and I'm delighted that you take the time to review. I always try to reply to all of you and I hope many of you'll drop me a review on this chapter. We haven't heard from each other way too long ;-)


	13. Undertow

"_**Give me what I'm wanting please don't tease me anymore with your fingers with your mouth with your tongue warm and wet against my skin beneath my hips — take away my breath."**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: Sunrise owns the characters.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 13 – Undertow<strong>

Her heart was hammering in her chest. But it wasn't the good and exciting kind of hammering she had felt earlier that day. It was the pounding countdown to a death sentence she had willing forced upon herself by letting go of her sanity once again. "I…" She couldn't believe he was asking her that. Right here, right now… In the same room she had kissed Natsuki a few hours ago. _This isn't right. I am not right…_ She felt utterly helpless and was sure that all the words in the world wouldn't be enough to respond in this moment and so, unlike Reito, she settled with silence.

"It's probably a bit surprising, but lately it feels like we're growing apart. We're rarely seeing each other anymore, and I think it would be good for our relationship to go steady. At least a bit."

"Reito, really, I am flattered. But I don't think this would work out." Shizuru tried to hide all her guilt and fear, but she didn't found it very convincing herself.

"What do you mean with it wouldn't work out?" Reito gave her a suspicious look. She wasn't sure if he could see it in her eyes or if he was just irritated by her words. She wanted to tell him the truth, but the words just wouldn't leave her mouth.

"I mean…" _I am cheating on you with your best friend's girlfriend. _"We both love our freedom, don't we?" Her lies filled the emptiness between them once again, and it disgusted her to watch them multiply and spread like deadly venom that would slowly kill what they had built up for years. She was feeding the demon that had been growing inside of her for the past weeks, and it seemed as if he had already control over her body and mind. _Should I really just give in to the sick desires instead of fighting them back?_

"Yes, I do love my freedom. But I love you more." Reito simply stated. The meaning had so much more power than the words in the way he said it. It sounded nonchalantly always naturally, and by all means, Shizuru had no idea how he could voice such a thing with so much certainty when it seemed impossible for her to say something like that back. It should also be natural to her, that she was sure of, yet she didn't feel it.

"Ara, aren't you quite charming today." was the only way she could answer to his proposal of his big amount of love towards Shizuru. She knew she should have reacted in a different way, but after what she had done, there was no normal way to react.

"Shizuru, I don't think you take this seriously." Reito sensed that Shizuru acted a bit out of it, but supposed that she was not used to such boldness. He was always charming and flirtatious, but he rarely laid his heart in front of her doorstep like that.

"Of course I do." The defense sounded almost too weak to be true. But what was she supposed to say? She was trapped. She wouldn't let herself get talked into this moving together thing, but she also didn't want to hurt his feelings. Either way, she was the one to blame. She could only be the bad one in this scenario, and in fact she was, and already felt like it anyways.

"So?" He gave her a hopeful look, and Shizuru hated to break him. There was no point in arguing. She said no. Why couldn't he simply understand, and why did she feel like shouting at him, when he was so nice; almost insecure.

"As I said, I think it's at an inconvenient time." She could feel that her voice became angry, and although she felt sorry for it, she couldn't control it. All her trapped emotions were boiling and desperately begging for a vent. She wanted him to shout back at her, to hurt her, to pull the truth out of her. She knew she deserved it, but nothing like that happened, which made her even angrier.

"What's so inconvenient? We've been together for more than four years now. I think we've waited long enough. I don't see why I even have to talk you into this. What's the matter with you? Your parents already agreed. In fact, they were delighted." He was so reasonable; too reasonable for Shizuru to bear in the fragile state she was in. Her life was falling apart and nobody was able to see it.

"What do my parents have to do with that anyway?" Her voice was insulting, and Reito seemed so startled that he didn't answer right away, but gave her an irritated look instead. "Why would you discuss something like that with them first? Don't I get a say in this?" Shizuru's mask started to crack, but underneath wasn't truth but pure rage. Mostly against herself, but unfortunately Reito was there to serve as a target although he was just an innocent civilian in this inner war of hers. Sadly, in wars the innocent are those who always suffer the most.

"I am asking you right now, don't I?" He said, still sounding calm and reasonable.

"Yes, after you have sent my parents to put pressure on me. You know how they can be." _What am I doing here? Why do I want to fight him so badly… It's not his fault. It's all mine. Still, I can't move in with him. __It wouldn't be right. Not now._

"I did what? Are you out of your mind?" Finally, his voice became louder and angrier. It was the reaction Shizuru desired, and she felt sickly happy about it.

"Well, why on earth do they show up here out of the blue if you hadn't asked them to help you with your plan?" _I am really shifting the blame, aren't I? I want him to shout at me. I want him to hate me like I hate myself. To hurt me like I hurt him… Someone like me shouldn't be loved. Not after what I did…_

"Do you listen to yourself sometimes? You sound like a lunatic. I asked them if it's okay to ask you to move in with me because it's polite, and your mother offered to pay you a visit to prepare you as she was sure you'd be a bit freaked out. But I wouldn't have thought it would be that much of a deal. If you don't want to move in with me, fine. It was a question and not an order. A simple 'no' would have done."

A heavy silence remained after the rage had died down. Both lovers just looked at each other, unable to find any more words that would do anything other than slice them apart. A few breaths later, Shizuru finally couldn't stand the puzzled amber eyes any longer.

"I am an idiot. It's not your fault it's mine. You have every right to be mad." She said, while staring out the window.

"I am not mad. It's just… I miss you. Shizuru, I want to spend my life with you. I thought that's what we both wanted. You still want it too, right?" It was everything she didn't want to hear. Everything she neither wanted to face nor answer.

"Reito…" The words refused to leave her throat. Or maybe he was simply stealing them from her voice chords. He seemed to be able to speak all the things she was too afraid to say aloud.

"What happened to us? I thought everything was fine. Did I do something wrong?" _Why… why would he think it's him when it's nothing but my selfish need to have it all? _Her eyes kept focusing a small window from the opposite house. It looked like the only steady point as the trees were swaying in the wind that whipped the clouds forward to face the horizon.

"No, of course not. It's not you. It's me. I haven't slept well recently, and I am a bit out of it. I need to figure some things out. I think I just need some time." Even if half of it was a lie, she was glad that she was able to be honest enough to make him understand that not everything was fine. She was not ready to let go by now.

"I see. I'm sorry if I made you feel pressured." With Reito being calm and understanding again, Shizuru soon lost focus while her eyes burned a hole through the window. His voice was low but still strong as he made his way to the door. "Are we still going together to that party on Saturday? I mean it's an official party, but Tate wants to celebrate his birthday there."

"I'll be there."

"Then I'll leave you alone for the rest week, I guess." She could hear that he was unhappy about it, and she wished she could just go over to him, and tell him that everything is going to be alright. But she couldn't these few steps seemed like an invisible border, and right now she didn't have any strength left to cross it.

"I'm sorry." She whispered after the door fell shut, leaving her to the familiar silence of her empty head.

The streetlamps flickered to life as the sun slowly disappeared behind the thin line where earth and sky supposedly kissed each other good night. People stopped from time to time to admire the rising of the deep blue night sky from the dim twilight. With the absence of the sun, the horizon disappeared into the obscurity that was curved by the bright lights of the city and its nightlife. The little alley that harbored Shizuru's favorite coffee-bar was already crowded with all kinds of people, although students clearly made the majority. It was not the serene feeling the little pub gave away but the lively atmosphere that always drew the Kyoto-girl to that place, and of course the most delicious flavored Lotus Tea in town was just as good of a point. Silence was nowhere to be found, and the last thing one could get around here was privacy, although she still felt completely anonymous among the masses.

It was half past seven, and Shizuru was glad that she had arrived fairly earlier than she had texted Natsuki a few hours ago. She knew she would need time to think of the right words, and she knew she had to get out of her apartment for that. There was no way she would be able to grab one clear thought as long as her memories practically lay in front of her on the living room floor. She had made up her mind, and she would stick to it. This she had repeated over and over again until her brain had got a hold of it. She was certain sooner or later her heart would follow and bend under the pressure of her head.

While her eyes had been aimlessly wandering through the babbling bulk of heads, she had spent most of the time inside of her head. She knew there would be no nice way to say certain things, and she just hoped that the other girl could somehow understand her. _But how do I make somebody understand what even I cannot figure out…_

Against her expectation, she hadn't seen the biker girl coming. She was a little startled as the slender form of Natsuki suddenly stood in front of her. Rubies wandered up to meet emeralds. They looked at each other as if they already knew what was about to happen. Shizuru tried not to give away any of her torn emotions, but it was hard to stand the intense gaze of her opposite.

"Hello Natsuki, thanks for coming." Her voice sounded oddly distant. Was she playing her role better than she had expected or was she just afraid? She didn't dare to stand up from her seat to greet the other, not because she was lazy but because she didn't know how to greet the girl after their recent interactions, and so she just waited patiently until Natsuki sat down with a court nod.

"Are your parents gone yet or did you manage to escape?" When the husky voice came to life, Shizuru instantly felt her gaze drawn to the movement of Natsuki's lips. The little twitches in the corner of her mouth, the nervous nagging, and especially the small gulps that escaped from time to manage to entertain Shizuru's subconscious for minutes. Catching herself staring again instantly made her close her eyes in a wide fake smile. She couldn't afford losing focus. Not anymore.

"Ara, what makes Natsuki think I would want to escape? I love my parents dearly. Reito joined us for a coffee before they had to attend some business matters." She had to admit that lying so bluntly was just as natural for her as it was for the other girl to state the truth. Given the fact that both girls are the masters of those extremes they should be able to meet somewhere in the middle, and in fact that was where they always found each other. In the small space between what's wrong and right. What they have had always been between the lines of lies and truth. They lingered and held on to something so fragile that they couldn't do more than praying that their horizon wasn't just an imaginary line were they were drawn to each other without being able to ever touch. They knew in reality the sun was a million miles away from the earth, but who made a difference when it illuminates the world with the most blazing sunsets. It was there. It was real, and the earth will keep revolving around it, and even if they never truly meet, people had always made up their own reality by creating a horizon to let them meet on the thin line of fantasy.

Natsuki was eyeing Shizuru for awhile as if she was trying to figure out how to approach her in the right way. It was an odd thing since the bike usually just spoke what was on her mind without thinking too much about it. "I just got the impression they make you feel rather uncomfortable, but I suppose it was my presence then that had made you feel uncomfortable."

According to Shizuru's plan she would be the one to start that kind of conversation, and for Natsuki bringing up the matter let Shizuru's thoughts stumble for a second.

"It's odd to see you at a loss of words. I suppose I'm right then. So, you brought me here to tell me that things can't go on like that, right?" Natsuki's voice began to sound distant, and the tone scared Shizuru. She didn't like the feeling of not being of any importance to the other girl, but in fact that was exactly the feeling she had to get used to if she wanted to pull through.

"I know it must sound pretty lame, but you are right. Things can't go on like that. I made a mistake." Natsuki slightly shifted her weight under the Kyoto-girl words. She didn't do anything but stare at her with a blank expression on her face. Shizuru found it hard to stand the indescribable gaze, but she knew she needed to if she wanted to get her point across. "It has to stop before it gets out of hand. Reito asked me to move in with him, and I…" She was cut off by the raven-haired girl who bent forward in shock, green eyes stormy with confusion.

"What? You're not seriously considering…" Natsuki's voice was harsh, but before she could get any louder she was stopped by an unfamiliar voice that barged into the conversation.

"Hello, what would you like to drink?" A middle-aged tall waitress was standing next to their table, smiling cheerfully down at them. She looked eager to write down an order. Shizuru had seen her here before, and was always very pleased with her work. Just when she wanted to politely make her understand that it wasn't the best time, Natsuki sent the woman off with a death glare. The green eyes practically screamed that she was not in the mood to order anything right now, and the waitress quickly replaced her smile with an anxious frown.

"Alright, I'll come back to you later then." Shizuru felt a bit sorry for the nice woman, who probably was scared for her life now, but decided not to get involved when the waitress left them to themselves again. Before Natsuki was able to focus her anger back on Shizuru, the crimson-eyed girl spoke again.

"Natsuki, I am not moving in with him. Still, he is my boyfriend and…" _Breathe… you can do it… _She could feel the blood pumping through her veins, and her chest cringe._ Be still my heart… _"He is the man I love." _Why didn't I say person? That would have been more convincing... at least for me._ Shizuru tried to look away, for she couldn't stand what she saw in the emerald eyes in front of her. Devastation; a raging sea that angrily tried to lash out at the clouds above it in huge waves of agony, but it was so out of reach. The clashing waves couldn't do anything but fall back into the depths. It was only a slight moment before they returned to the familiar solemn look, covering and hiding the pain the chestnut-haired girl had seen in them for a moment.

"So, you really brought me here to tell me your bullshit over a cup of coffee." Natsuki tried to control her voice, but couldn't completely hide that it was shaking.

"I'm sorry, I've been thinking…" She was harshly cut off by the raven-haired beauty, who had her hands clenched around the arms of the chair now.

"You spend too much time inside your head. You should really put living over thinking." Although the words were said in anger, Shizuru felt caught by them… in them.

"I believe I have spent quite a lot of time going out of my mind lately." As soon as the words had left her mouth she felt the need to take them back, but then she reminded herself that it was exactly why she was there. _She doesn't need to know what I am thinking. I am here because I put my reality over my nightmares… dreams… whatever. _ The next words felt like stones in her throat, and she was sure she would be choking on them. "You're no good for me." Her voice was low, and she wasn't sure if she could even believe herself.

"You can't positively believe that!" Natsuki was still solid like a rock in her stance, and just like always it made Shizuru angry that the girl always had to talk back to everything she said. It was completely logical and normal to think and act the way she did. Why couldn't the girl see that? _At least it is normal to stop making out with someone when you're in a relationship._

"You make me do crazy things." All in all, it was the first thing Shizuru had said this evening that she was entirely sure of.

"And what's so bad about it?" Natsuki voice had become more vulnerable, which made it even harder for Shizuru to keep composure.

"I… I don't know. It's just not like me." Not really knowing what to reply to the question, she quickly averted her eyes. It was draining to stand Natsuki's firm gaze the whole time without faltering. She couldn't be weak. Not today. Not anymore.

The roaming people in the alley kept her eyes busy. Sadly her ears and mind were still hanging on the lips of the stern beauty, and she had to admit the next words left her wondering.

"Maybe you are no good for yourself." The voice was low and icy again. It somehow felt as if she had just lost something important. Guilt somehow had punched a whole inside of her, and she was afraid that with the other girl gone no one was able to fill it. From the corner of her eye, she could see Natsuki rise from the chair. Shizuru didn't dare to stop her. She had to let her go. A last glance, and then the girl were gone.

For Shizuru, the way home was like an earthquake to her world that slowly but steady broke her mask into pieces. Bit by bit she could feel it crumbling, along with her strength which instantly vanished as soon as she locked the door of her apartment from the inside. And with one more deep breath she allowed her body to follow the direction of her tears as she sunk down to the floor.

The days passed by in a haze. She couldn't bring herself to call any of her friends, and somehow nobody seemed to be interested in her well-being as neither Mai nor Akane called. She wasn't sure if Reito had informed them that she needed some time off or if they simply were busy. Either way, right now Shizuru couldn't care less. She couldn't even explain her actions to herself, and so her daily routine came down to lying in bed and looking at the ceiling. Of course, having nightmares from time to time and intensely staring at her cellphone had become her favorite hobbies by now. Finally, after all the time of doing nothing her phone gave away a sound. She almost fell out of her bed in order to fetch it from the drawer as quickly as possible. Her heart was pounding heavy, but soon dropped when she saw that the text was from Reito. She berated herself for secretly hoping it would have been from Natsuki before shoving the thought aside.

'Just wanted to remind you of the party tonight. I hope you're doing better. Reito.'

_The party… Oh right, Tate's birthday. Oh my god, it's already Saturday… I better stay in bed. _She looked outside the window. The sun was standing high, and she assumed it must be around noon. A faint mirror image of herself was painted onto the cold glass, and she was a bit shocked to see what a mess she was. There was nothing much she could do. She'd either stay in bed forever, waiting for somebody to save her or she would have to save herself. It really was that simple. Another sigh later she found herself on the bed again, staring at her beloved ceiling waiting for her eyelids to get heavy. Sleep was always a welcomed friend in times of pain, and so she slowly started to drift into the fake reality behind her eyelids.

_The lights of the dance floor flicker wildly as you let your body float with the beat. The music is wrapping you up like an opaque veil, making it impossible for me to get through. I can't do anything but stare. My gaze is caught by your movements… caught by the short and single moments you dare to look at me. Each one, as tiny and insignificant, is another piece of a puzzle I am not able to solve. There are so many gaps. I doubt we could ever fill them. In fact, I know we can't, yet I still want you all the more._

_It's sick, and I know it… wanting you even when I know all those things. My mind used to be so clear and strict, but I get the feeling that my heart is growing stronger with every time I see you. It's tricking my mind ever so often and I am lying to myself. Just because I should. I am not an idiot. I know what I want. I can feel it, but I am not allowed to. It's wrong. That's what they say. That's what you tell yourself. That's what I am telling myself, and still… my heart stands firm against them all._

_He comes over, embracing you tenderly from behind. This is how it should be. Still it stings. I want to scream. So loud and deafening, but all I do is look at you, hoping that you might look back. Although I know that you can't, and I understand. I know that he's watching you. I know that you don't want to hurt him and believe me, he used to be my friend too, and I don't want to hurt him either. Maybe I am just a sucker for pain. Maybe I am craving for getting hurt. I don't know. If anything, I am an addict. I just need to find out the addiction. It's bittersweet to go cold turkey without actually having tasted the whole drug._

_I want to write down every little thought inside of my head because I am afraid the memories might vanish. The intensity fades with every second and in the morning it won't feel real. But if I ban them onto paper they will be endless. Something we will never be. Something we won't ever get the chance to even try. I wish I could do what I am imagining in my mind as I sit in a corner silently watching you. It sounds so easy to simply stand up for walking over to you. A smile, a whisper and we would be gone. I close my eyes and let the music flood my mind. Your face is so close… and so far away when I open them again. Don't get me wrong. I will not meddle. I will stay quiet. The words won't leave my mouth. I have them imprisoned in my heart… along with you. For all the things I never tell you, I wish you love. I really do. I won't be the one to ruin your life._

And just like that Shizuru found herself wide awake in bed. It was already getting dark outside, and she knew it was another nightmare. _I don't know if I am talking myself into this or out of this anymore… I'm so weary of everything. _Her heart was still aching, and her thoughts kept racing. She needed to step off that carousel. She would go to the party. It was in a public place anyway. Nothing could be better for her than distraction; from reality; from dreams; and mostly from herself. She got up in haste, feeling that dressing up nicely would take a while given the fact that she probably had to do a complete makeover.

After two hours of showering, hair and make-up session Shizuru finally arrived at the so called "Student Cave" in her usual stunning way. The 'cave' was already stuffed with people, and thankfully looked nothing like the club in her dreams. She doubted that she had any talent in fortune telling anyway, but you'll never know. Putting on her strong façade she quickly made her way inside, ignoring all the drunks at the entrance.

The mood was loud and alcoholic - just what she had hoped for. The bass was mercilessly thundering over the dance floor while the air was polluted with different kind of smells. Everyone seemed to be more than busy with themselves, and so it wasn't very hard for her to fit in. Of course, some heads turned as she walked through the masses, but that wasn't a very uncommon thing. She simply ignored the drooling guys as she soon spotted the group of her friends at the bar. One more time, she reminded herself that everything was fine, before she got over to greet them one by one. She firstly approached Reito in an elegant matter, who looked a bit skeptic and afraid. She placed a quick kiss on his lips before greeting the others.

Luckily, Takeda was nowhere to be seen, and so she could breathe easy or now. It had been a good choice to come here late, this way she wouldn't have to stick around long. The music was too loud to have any conversation at all, which was just as much of a blessing as a curse. It was a blessing because Reito couldn't force her into any kind of relationship talk, but a curse because she wasn't really able to escape the voices inside of her head. She caught herself several times looking for a certain dark haired girl, and shortly before midnight her fears became real when Takeda and Natsuki entered the club, wearing smiles on their faces.

Her crimson eyes instantly were glued on the stunning beauty, and especially to her left hand that was holding Takeda's much to Shizuru's discontentment. _Wait, that is what I wanted. Act normal!_

She mouthed a hello, and quickly turned her gaze away. She hectically searched for something that would be strong enough to catch her gaze, and found the amber eyes of Reito staring at her intensely. In that very moment, the chestnut-haired girl was happy that he would still look at her so affectionate. She could see the love in his eyes, and it gave her a little security around the group. When the clock ticked the current date away, the DJ started to play 'Happy Birthday' and almost the whole club was singing along. Much to Tate's discontent another boy was celebrating his birthday tonight, and so only half of the attention was on him, although Mai showered him with hugs and kisses. _Those two really look like newlyweds. _Shizuru decided that she might take a bathroom break for escaping the happy couple atmosphere and the loud music for a while. The smoke from the cigarettes and the music made her feel dizzy, and watching Takeda and Natsuki hold hands like teenagers didn't help very much either. It was odd how much two people could ignore each other while standing in the same room among a small group of people, but control of eyes means control of minds. At least to as much extend as needed.

On her way to the toilet, she tried to remember when the last time was that she had eaten something, only to find out that it had indeed been awhile. _No wonder, I'm feeling so light headed. I should just go home. _She used the water in the bathroom to rekindle her necessarily body functions to work again, before going back to the group. She waited another ten minutes, and then finally said her goodbye to everyone. Reito offered her to go home with her, but Shizuru didn't feel ready for that by now. She couldn't bring herself to say goodbye to everyone in person, and so she just waved in the round. She had said goodbye to Natsuki enough lately… in person, in her head, in her dreams… she didn't need another.

The fresh night air hit her like a train, and blew her mind free from the smoke and all the other strange smells people emitted. However, it didn't take away the images of Takeda and Natsuki that plagued her synapsis. _It still stings…_ She sighed quite audible, and stared up into the sky hoping that the stars would soothe her, but it seems tonight wasn't her lucky night as thick clouds separated her gaze from the rest of the universe.

Her head was still pounding a little, and she figured it really must be from the lack of food. _I at least should have drunken something sugary. Well, it can't be helped now._ Her stomach wasn't giving away a very good feeling as she could already feel her pulse getting faster. She had fainted before, and she knew the warnings of her body by now. Walking over to the nearest bench she could see through her already clouded vision, she lay down on it for a bit until her body slowly started to recover. When the high-pitched humming in her ears started to fade, it was replaced by a much lower sound. Only slowly, she understood that it wasn't just a sound, but words. She got up on her elbows, and looked flustered into the directions of the noises, inwardly jumping a little when she saw Natsuki standing a few feet away from her resting place.

"Ara, what is Natsuki doing out here all alone. Doesn't she have to warm Takeda's hand anymore?" She had no idea why she just did that without masking her resentment, but figured it must be due to the dizziness.

"Don't give me that crap. Your dear Reito was worried for you, and asked me to look after you. Although I don't quite get why he can't move his ass on his own. So, are you feeling sick or do you simply try enjoying the life of a bum on your little star watch over there?"

"Charming…" Shizuru hummed with slight bitterness. "I was about to go home. Plus, if you haven't noticed there's not a single star on the sky."

"That doesn't answer the question. Not that it would be anything new for you to avoid the actual conversation on purpose. "And for your information: There is. You just can't see them through the clouds." Natsuki's green eyes stood out in the darkness even when they weren't sparkling with joy.

"It doesn't matter if they are there or not when I can't see them. Unless you have magical powers…", _which I'm sure you have by the way_ "…to make the clouds disappear, and show me the beauty of the night."

Natsuki kept staring daringly at her, still waiting for a real response. So, Shizuru figured that there was no way around telling the truth as she still felt much too weak to walk home on her own, and seeing the other girl still being so angry at her was something that dropped her heart rate even more. "I feel a bit weak."

"When was the last time you've eaten something?" Shizuru could see Natsuki's features soften in worry.

"I guess I'm a bit hungry." She admitted a little bit ashamed, making the raven-haired girl sigh in defeat.

"Wait a second." She said, before turning on her heels and going back inside. Shizuru remained on the bench after she had brought herself into a sitting position, waiting patiently for the other girl to return, which she did a few minutes later carrying a bottle of coke and a small baguette.

"Here." She handed it over while seating herself on the bank next to the chestnut-haired girl, leaving only enough space between them for not feeling comfortable.

"How did you get that baguette?" Shizuru couldn't remember a club hosting a food bar, but on the other hand she hasn't been in that particular one before.

"Does it matter? Just eat something or I'll make you." Natsuki's huffed, but Shizuru could tell from the soft gaze that the girl just wanted her to feel better.

"Yes, ma'am." She gave quick salute, along with a weak smile before she started munching. After she had finished the raven-haired girl grabbed the leftovers, and threw them in a garbage bin next to the bench.

"Feeling any better?" She said, still not daring to directly look into the crimson eyes.

"Yes. Thank you."

Natsuki just waved with her hand at the comment before she spoke. "You got me worried for a second. You were so pale it's a miracle your skin didn't become transparent enough for anybody to look right through you."

_I am always this transparent around you. Haven't you noticed? _Shizuru thought but of course didn't voice, instead she apologized. "I'm sorry. You already have enough things to worry about. There's no room for any more." She looked at the raven-girl to her right, hoping to catch a glimpse peek of swirling emerald. Natsuki felt the piercing gaze on her, and finally brought her head up, her eyes directly staring into Shizuru's soul.

"There'll always be room in my head for you."

The words rendered the Kyoto-girl speechless. And even if they wouldn't have left her in awe, she would have no idea what to reply. Without even realizing it, her lips had formed a smile, accompanying the light blush that had claimed her pale cheeks.

"At least you have a healthy color again." Natsuki smiled mischievously, both knowing exactly what she was referring to. After that none of them said a word for a few minutes, as they were simply enjoying each other's company.

A few minutes later, Shizuru coughed lightly to check if her voice chords were still intact, before she allowed herself to break the silence between them.

"When I entered the train today I sat down with my back to the engine. I had the silly thought that it might turn back time if I just keep on traveling backwards long enough. That it would bring you back. But nothing happened. The world was still passing by and at some point I didn't even know if the train was moving at all. Every time my effing phone rings I silently hope that it's a message from you. It drives me crazy. And you want to know what the worst part is? The worst part is I feel like I deserve all of this." She didn't know exactly why she told Natsuki these things; why she kept on rambling, but figured it was either out of guilt or she again was starting to act irrational around her.

"You're really good in blaming yourself." The girl simply replied without digging any deeper into the emotional chaos.

"Why, thank you. You're also really good in blaming me." Shizuru flashed the girl a stunning smile.

"Well, at least one thing we have in common I guess."

The sarcastic comments lifted up the atmosphere further, and both started to feel more comfortable around each other with every word and smile. Deep down Shizuru knew it was not what she had planned, but on the surface she was still convincing herself that everything was alright; that they were just having a nice talk. And although their intentions were completely different, their heartbeats eventually synchronized under the starless sky, leading them both in the same direction.

"I had a dream about you before I came here." Again Shizuru was the one to rekindle the conversation. "In fact I dream about you very often." _Okay, there was really no need to spell that out. _

"What was it about?"

"It was about me standing in your way." Shizuru's voice was calm and just loud enough to be audible.

"Sounds more like a nightmare then. So, you mean you often have nightmares about me. That's not really a compliment." The raven-haired girl said while she bent back to stretch her upper body a little.

"Well, I suppose that consequently makes you my favorite nightmare."

"Oh okay. That makes it much better then." Natsuki winked at her before she got completely serious again. "Why not give me a chance to become a good dream instead?" She paused for a short moment to capture Shizuru's gaze before adding: "The best." The dazzling green eyes were deeply staring into the wine-colored of the now flustered girl. They were daring them, tempting…and Shizuru could feel herself becoming slightly dizzy again.

"I can't…" Her voice was barely more than a whisper as she practically tore her face away to stare into the obscurity behind the dim streetlights that surrounded them. She didn't need to see the other girl to tell that she had again hurt her feelings, and to make it even worse she had also hurt herself with her reaction. Not really knowing what to say anymore, she thought of a plausible way to get out of this. She could either call a cab or walk home, although the second option wasn't so compelling given the fact that she had almost passed out earlier.

"I know you've made up your mind. I guess I just have some troubles accepting the truth. Sometimes one day can change everything, sometimes even one kiss, and sometimes… sometimes it stops the world for somebody completely while the other person keeps moving. I guess that's what they mean with 'at the wrong time'." Natsuki lightly squeezed Shizuru's shoulder as if she wanted to convince her that it's quite alright, even when it wasn't. But she had made herself vulnerable enough. A person can only humiliate itself so much. "Come with me. I'll take you home." She held out a hand that Shizuru hesitantly took after a second, and led the chestnut-haired girl to her parked motorcycle.

Neither of them spoke a word when they sat down on the vehicle. Shizuru's thoughts were completely occupied by Natsuki's words. She was shivering slightly as she felt the cold of the leather seeping through her jeans. The consequence that she pressed her body closer into Natsuki's back was merely subconscious to her preoccupied mind, and only the emitted warmth made her aware of it. Shizuru desperately clung onto Natsuki during the short trip. Not because the biker was driving too fast, but because she felt the need to take in every bit she could for she knew she would have to let go of the girl again soon. The drive did not only speed up her adrenaline but also her emotions, somehow it became unbearably hard to force herself to release Natsuki's waist from her grip when they came to a halt in front of Shizuru's apartment.

When the chestnut-haired girl didn't make a move, the biker stopped the engine turning her head slightly backwards.

"We're there. You can let go now."

_I can't…_

Natsuki wasn't sure if Shizuru hadn't heard her through the helmet, and so she took it off after she had racked her bike. Her dark hair melted with the black biker jacked and the serene obscurity of the night that was surrounding them while the strands spread over her shoulders. Shizuru found herself watching in awe as the silky tresses rained on Natsuki's back. The light breeze made her shiver slightly, or at least she thought it was the wind that triggered such a reaction. She could feel her inner demon pulling on her as she kept staring at the biker's back.

Natsuki could sense the tenseness along with the shivering, and decided to stay still for a moment. She didn't want to force the other girl to move, and so she tried talking to her instead of turning around. With her gaze focused straight ahead in the darkness, she let her voice carry her thoughts, oblivious to the fact that they would not only reach the Kyoto-girl's ears but also her heart.

"I never had the chance to tell you any of my thoughts… feelings… whatever. I am not good with that stuff. I don't know how to describe what is happening with me. All I know is…" Shizuru's heart was on a leap when she silently listened to the low voice of the girl in front of her. When Natsuki paused her speech to gulp rather loudly, Shizuru knew that it was just as hard for her to find the right words to describe all of her emotions. Natsuki took another deep breath before she continued in a whisper. "Shizuru… I breathe your name on every exhalation." It sounded so broken, that she felt like Natsuki was shattering into pieces. When Shizuru tried to comprehend what the girl had just voiced, she couldn't stop all her locked away from floating out. The words entranced her. She tightened, if even possible, her grip around the slender waist so much that Natsuki had troubles breathing for a second. But Shizuru wouldn't allow her to break. Not because of someone selfish like her. She would hold her together…somehow, even if she had to drown. Just when the emerald-eyed girl wanted to turn around to apologize for being so honest, Shizuru buried her face into her neck, searching for comfort in the black tresses. Soon Natsuki could feel warm tears against her skin, accompanied by silent sobs.

She allowed Shizuru to keep crying as much the girl needed to, doing nothing but holding her composure, and trying to breathe as regularly as possible in an attempt to calm the taller girl a little. When the sobs finally came in longer intervals, Shizuru freed Natsuki from the desperate embrace with a heavy breath. She slowly brought her right hand up, lightly tugging Natsuki hair to the side, laying her neck open. Not being able to fight the need that was screaming inside of her any longer, she allowed herself to lean in completely. The light kisses she placed on the milky skin of the raven-haired girl's neck, rewarded her with something that sounded like a deep growl, but in the same moment it was the most promising moan, she had ever heard. Shizuru could feel skin heating up, while her heart stumbled over the chaos inside of her.

When she breathed the next words into Natsuki's ear, she didn't think about them. She just let out what had been pulling on her all the time. "Take me away… just for tonight."

Natsuki didn't waste another second as kicked the engine to life again. Shizuru had no idea where they were going but right now she didn't care. Anywhere would be fine as long as Natsuki was with her.

When they eventually stopped in front of a strangely shaped building, Shizuru had to admit that she had no idea where they were. She lived in this city fairly longer than Natsuki, but she was sure she had never been here before. The building looked like Arabic mosque as it looked almost spherical. When they descended from the bike, she gave Natsuki a puzzled look. But she only got a mysterious smile in return. She was about to open her mouth to ask where they were, but the biker instantly hushed her, gesturing to follow her silently.

Tip-toeing around the outer walls they soon came to a little door at the backside.

"Natsuki, where are we?" Shizuru whispered as silent as possible.

"I'm showing you my magical powers." came the cocky response as she pulled out a key that fit into the door.

"Trespassing has nothing to do with magic!" The Kyoto-ben made it sound incredibly adorable, although it was meant in a slightly panicked way. Shizuru had never been one to break rules.

"Shhh, calm down. I've got the key from my grandma. She worked here. Besides… Bad decisions, make better memories."

_She has a point. A bad point… I like it._

It was pitch black behind the door, only the small emergency signs dimly lit a bit of the walls. When Natsuki took Shizuru's hand to safely lead her through the darkness, the other girl didn't pull away. She enjoyed the contact while being completely thrilled by the little adventure. Another door blocked their way, this time unlocked as Natsuki shoved it open with her shoulder. It revealed a huge room that looked like a theatre. At least that was what Shizuru assumed, not being able to make out any details in the darkness. She could see rows of seats all centered around a huge machine in the middle.

"What is this place?" Shizuru said, forgetting to keep her voice low this time. Natsuki didn't scold her though, and so she assumed it was okay speak normal again.

"I'll show you." was the nonchalant respond before she was led in the space between the chairs. The raven-haired girl gestured for to lie down, and although Shizuru gave her a skeptical look she didn't allow any backtalk.

After the Kyoto-beauty had made herself comfortable, Natsuki disappeared behind the robotic-looking monster that occupied the very center of the room. With a rather loud click, that had scared Shizuru for a second, it came to life. Thousands of little lights and buttons flickered in the darkness as it spherical head started to shoot light on the dome-shaped ceiling. Only then Shizuru realized that it was a huge projection screen. The room remained rather dark as the air above her turned into most stunning spangled sky she had ever seen. In fact, she didn't even know such beauty existed. Of course, she had figured by now that they were inside a planetarium, but she never had been inside of one before. The view took away her breath. Billions of little lights sparkled around them while she felt still save in the arms of night. She wasn't able to tear her gaze away from her surrounding heaven, not even when Natsuki came back sitting on her knees while bending over her.

"Natsuki, this is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen…Thank you so much for being so good to me while I do nothing but hurt you. I wish we could just stop time and be here forever."

Natsuki placed her finger on Shizuru's lips before she could start insulting herself again. "No more blaming for tonight."

Shizuru didn't complain. Truth be spoken, she wasn't able to move as her eyes had captured the deep green emeralds in the second Natsuki had placed her finger over her mouth. Having Natsuki hovering above her under this magnificent night sky was too much beauty for her to take. She didn't dare to move a muscle as she was afraid destroy the perfection of the moment. The only thing that moved was the sky around them, and the little pendant around Natsuki's neck that had fallen out of her cleavage when she had bent down. It was swinging back and forth like a magic pendulum, slowly hypnotizing the chestnut-haired girl. She felt her eyes eventually drawn to the steady movement, and got lost in it for a moment before she instinctively reached for it. It was either out of curiosity or out of reflex that she tried to stop the spell that she was sure she was under. Natsuki shrugged as soon as Shizuru got a hold of the necklace, but didn't pull away as she was afraid to break the chain.

The Kyoto-girl searched Natsuki's eyes as if she wanted to ask for permission to take a closer look at it, which Natsuki eventually granted. And so, she let herself being pulled in by the slender fingers of the girl beneath her.

Shizuru paid close attention not to use too much force as she didn't want to rip off the necklace either. The green eyes were now so close that she could feel the heat of the body on top of her. She once more stared into the dazzling emeralds. It didn't even feel like a big surprise that she could feel the longing to kiss the girl boiling under her skin, but she didn't want to ruin the moment when Natsuki gave her access to something that seemed to be precious to her. Therefore, she took all her remaining strength and focused her gaze on the pendant in her palm.

The dim light made it hard for her to make out the features, and so she brought it even closer to her eyes along with Natsuki who didn't seem to make an effort for taking it off. Only now Shizuru could identify it as a little pocket watch. Black Roman numbers decorated its white face. The time was something around half past ten, and she doubted that it was a reliable source. Despite its beautiful shape and the silver frame it didn't look too expensive, and so it might be broken. Feeling the need to make sure she brought it to her ear, and stopped breathing for a bit to completely concentrate on listening.

_Nothing._ It didn't work, that she was sure of by now. The weight above her suddenly shifted as Natsuki rolled to the side lying down next to her, admiring the stunning starlit sky.

"Did Jun give this to you?" Shizuru already regretted the question, since she somehow didn't want to know the answer but she couldn't help but wonder why the serious girl would carry it around all the time.

"No. It was a present from my mother." Her voice became sad, and Shizuru was not sure if she was allowed to dig in that wounds.

"Oh, I see. Maybe you should let it get fixed then. I'm afraid it's not working anymore."

"It is." _Does she just always have to say the opposite to what I am saying or am I deaf._ Her thoughts were interrupted when Natsuki started to explain. "I made it stop on purpose when my mother left. I've read somewhere in a book when something happens that becomes unbearable to you, sometimes time stops. Like you're inner clock just stops working even if the world keeps spinning you will stand still for the rest of your life. She made a pause, and sighed before adding: "I wanted time to stop completely, even for the world outside…and so I made this stop." She looked at the pocket watch in her hand with the same solemn look Shizuru had seen so often before. Natsuki started to fumble with the head of the watch were it was attached to the long chain. She lightly tabbed a small spot, and the little thing started ticking. But she only allowed it for a mere second as she instantly put it to its original state, before turning her head to look directly into Shizuru's eyes.

"See…" A smile graced her beautiful face. It wasn't really a happy one, but it was smile nonetheless. "It's that easy to stop time…" Natsuki said, finishing her thought.

Shizuru couldn't watch any second longer how Natsuki was suffering while she tried to look strong. She wanted to save her, to make her feel everything she felt for her right in that moment. Everything she had ever felt for her, and she didn't know what else to do as she put all of herself into one silent promise as she captured the raven-haired girl's lips with a kiss that was so loaded with emotions that it seemed to burn all the bridges behind them.

It felt like they were on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere with only the earth and sky keeping them company. The buzzing of the projector suddenly sounded very far away while it led the girls through the infinity of space. Strange worlds in the middle of huge stardust's were created, and destroyed within a blink of an eye. It wasn't real, but it didn't make it any less beautiful.

Chestnut strands fell down to the sides of Natsuki's face and created a veil that would capture this moment under the starlit sky. Shizuru had troubles to keep the kiss slow as it always felt like something inside her would spark when she kissed the other girl. She was amazed that her heart was able to keep the fast pace when her lips moved in slow motion. If possible, the kiss felt even more perfect than the last ones. It was as if she breathed her unspoken feelings right into Natsuki who lightly sighed when her lips were claimed again. She brought her arms around Shizuru's back to pull the girl closer, wanting to obey to the desperate need of feeling the slender body against hers.

When her hips collided with the lower body of the girl on the floor, Shizuru broke the kiss for a second and let out a heavy breath. It felt unbearably good to be this close, and she knew she wanted more. The spark which had been ignited earlier was still glowing inside of her, but she was afraid to make another mistake. Natsuki seemed to see the struggle in her eyes, and suddenly grabbed her by the waist. She thought she was shoved off and was afraid the other girl was mad at her but found out she was wrong all along. In a quick movement, Natsuki had them switch position, making Shizuru lightly yelp in shock, now looking directly into the sparkling heaven around them. This was probably the only place that was a real competition for Natsuki's eyes. Soft lips hit hers luring the ember in Shizuru's heart out of its hideout. The kiss was fiercer this time, and soon she felt Natsuki's warm hand sliding under her shirt. She didn't complain and enjoyed the amazement to its fullest. She allowed the fingertips to travel along her navel, up to laces of her bra. Their breaths became heavier, and louder the more skin they both discovered from each other in the darkness.

Shizuru was sure Natsuki was made of pure silk. Everything felt so incredible good and soft. Her kisses tasted wonderful, and she doubted that she would be able to stop sometime soon. When she opened her eyes a little, she felt captured by the stars again. That was when she realized they didn't have to stop. Here they were endless. The sun wouldn't rise until they want it too. It was their own created night, and it would stay.

A smile tugged on the corner of her lips when she brought her attention back to Natsuki who had been eyeing her a little worried. She pulled her in for another kiss before she slowly started to remove the shirt of the girl above her. Natsuki's hips were moving slightly as she pressed them between Shizuru's legs, gaining a moan in response.

The farer the projector sent them away from the Milky Way the more pieces of cloth lost their purpose. They were scattered around them like an invisible barricade. Shizuru took a moment to admire the beauty of Natsuki's body. She truly would be more careful with the word perfect from now on as she couldn't think of anything that could match the meaning of it as much as Natsuki did.

Both of them seemed to have the desire to be in control, but also neither minded being controlled by the other. They simply clicked. When they had risen to a slightly more upright position, Shizuru brought herself behind the emerald-eyed girl and encircled her with her legs. She slowly bent down and started planting butterfly kisses on Natsuki's shoulder blade. The girl shivered slightly when Shizuru slowly opened her mouth.

Her tongue was led down Natsuki's spine on an invisible trail of longing and desire. It left a moisture line that was instantly followed by goose bumps which slowly ate away the last bit of sanity from the raven-haired girl's mind while the shiver crawled down the soft skin. It was a hopeless chase after the tender lips of Shizuru. And just like horses on a carousel Natsuki's goose bumps were never able to win, but still they would keep racing.

Both girls allowed themselves to drown into each other, and although Shizuru didn't really have a clue what she was doing it seemed to come naturally. When she found herself with her face to the sky again, she knew that there was no turning back anymore. She didn't struggle as Natsuki removed the last remaining piece of cloth, and let go of everything.

It was wrong, but it didn't feel like it. And Shizuru just couldn't help but play with the fire until she got burnt, until it consumed her whole. She allowed herself to be taken in by the sensation that was travelling down beneath her hips, making its way between her legs. She could feel her insides twist and turn, burning under the steady rocking of her body against Natsuki. And as the fire exploded into a rush of screams and breaths she could feel the flames die down inside of her, leaving nothing but ashes behind.

She looked up into the fake sky, asking herself if she would be able to be a phoenix or if she would drown in this undertow.

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><p><strong>AN:** Guys, I have been thinking a lot… I quit. No, I'm joking. I know that people are starting to dislike Shizuru and what she does, and as a huge Shizuru lover (yes, I want to bed her) the only thing I can say is: you have every right to. I would like to picture her as perfect as all of us think her to be, but if you ever have been in such a situation you should be able to understand that she's only a slave to her feelings. She can only do the wrong thing. To find a heart, is to lose a heart and no matter what she does someone will get hurt. It's that kind of situation where you're trying to do the right thing, and end up hurting everyone in the end. And why on earth would she do that? Love. It's that simple. Love makes us do these things without even realizing. If there would be anything rational in it, the world would be a better (and much more boring) place. So, don't hate her too much. She is confused.

For the rest of the Chapter…well finally they got it on. I've been looking forward to write the sex scene. Why? Because I had to do a lot of research obviously *hrhr* Although, I feel a bit slutty now. Somehow I get the feeling as if I have just made out with each and every one of you on paper. Hopefully it was just as good for you as it was for me ;-) Alright, enough! Tilt! X_X

Umm, where was I?...Yes! I am a little bit sad that so few of you have reviewed the last chapter. And with few I mean really really few compared to the other chapters. So review or I'm gonna hunt you down! Obviously joking here (you'll never know though, so don't try to steal yourself away with only reading ;-P ) Hope you still like the story cause I was aiming for the 500 mark before it's finished. So, if you still like it, let me know and if not let me also know why.


	14. White Lies

"_**Where shall I go? To the left were nothing's right or to the right where nothing's left?"**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**_**  
><strong>_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mai Hime and stuff.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14 – White Lies<strong>

A blur of noises was all her mind could make out of the vast scenario that had formed inside of her clouded head during the last hours. Sleep had washed over her body as her eyes had tried to follow the stars into the infinity of space; noises became sounds before turning into a haze of language. The faraway spoken words felt like an invasion from a voice she had heard a thousand times before in the safety of her dreams. When her eyelids slowly fluttered her body to life, she could hardly believe the voice was coming from reality rather than her inner world. "Shizuru, wake up. Ne, Shizuru." The familiar husky tone sounded so much softer than usual, a privilege the chestnut-haired girl knew was granted only a few people.

"Mh?" Her vision still clouded, she tried to focus on finally crossing the border between asleep and awake by shaking her head slightly from left to right. She felt completely exhausted; in a good way, but still exhausted.

"I think you might want to take this call. It's Reito." Her surroundings, still fairly dark, let the emeralds next to her look even brighter. The words, however, cut the magic of the moment the instant they sank in. _Reito…_ The sound of the name alone made her shudder inwardly. She reached out for her phone that was held up in front of her, her hands briefly touched Natsuki's which made them both hold in to look at each other. There was a certain kind of insecurity in the green eyes, and although the two girls had been incredibly close earlier it felt like a million miles away the moment their hands parted.

"Hello?" Shizuru said, her voice as low as possible. "What do you mean? I was already asleep. You just woke me up." Shizuru's eyes got wide when Reito told her that he is currently standing in front of her apartment. She couldn't tell him where she was. Not now. Not on the phone. "Yes, you see… I felt dizzy and Natsuki offered me to stay at hers to have an eye on me." Shizuru searched Natsuki's gaze as if she wanted to apologize for lying so bluntly about what had just happened between them. The other girl had never been good at hiding her emotions, and the discomfort was practically slapped into the Kyoto-girl's face. It hurt seeing the strong appearing girl so fragile. She knew they had shared something extremely intimate, and figured how vulnerable Natsuki had made herself with that. "Yes. Good night to you, too. Sorry, for worrying you. I see you tomorrow then." She let the phone sink with a sigh. All of this had turned into an everlasting nightmare, only interrupted by sweet moments of insanity where she would lose herself in the touches and words of the raven-haired girl. _This can't go on forever… I need to do something. __Finally. And I need to pull through with it._ Her eyes wandered through the darkness back into the now steady starlit sky. It looked so real that she had to remind herself it was only artificial; an illusion, a misperception of her mind.

Inside of this dome they were safe, like dreamers in their private world of make-believe. But this wasn't life. It was nothing but a huge bell jar and they were trapped under it. Here were it was always night; where there was no wind or rain or sun. It was just them and the stars. Or what they believed to be the stars. In-between infinity and expiry, they both knew this would have to end sooner or later. Somebody would have to move. They just didn't know who'd go first and in which direction. But hearts can't stand still for too long. They need fresh air to nurture the fire within them or they might incinerate. Shizuru knew she could only stall Natsuki for so long. The clock wouldn't stop ticking just because the Kyoto-girl wished for it and Reito wouldn't just disappear. There was a life waiting for her outside that she had to attend. It was what her past had formed inside of her head, what her parents had wished for her, and what she eventually had accepted and even started to love. Feeling all of this coming down bit by bit grew a fear in her she could barely comprehend.

Natsuki sure must have seen the struggle in her eyes for she remained silent, unable to break down the wall in Shizuru's head. It was true, she had reached the heart of the torn girl, but she had yet to reach her mind, or she would have to give up. Not because she didn't want to be with Shizuru but because she wanted it too much. So much that the pain slowly started to become unbearable. It hurt to know that she somehow wasn't enough for Shizuru to let the doubts go, to know that Shizuru would end up in Reito's arms after Natsuki had given herself away. She had known it from the start. At least that was what she told herself now in the futile hopes of making this whole situation sufferable. And how could she hold the person she was so deeply in love with down, when she wanted to lift her high up in the sky. But the only thing she could see right now in the absent-minded rubies was pain.

When the raven-haired girl silently started to put her clothes back on, Shizuru finally came back from her world of thought. She couldn't take her eyes off of the soft curves that had been covered by her hands and mouth moments ago, but she knew it would only hurt more if she kept looking. Taking mental images wasn't a really smart thing to do. There were already too much of them stuffed inside of her head that kept her from thinking clearly.

"We should go." The roughness was back in the voice of Natsuki, and Shizuru didn't dare to speak any more of the unnecessary. No more words were needed right now, as they both knew that something was about to change. As long as neither of them really decided to fight, nothing would move and they would be captured in this moment forever. The only thing that was certain was that they needed time. Time in every aspect a person could need time; time to move on, time to let go, time to decide and time to realize what it was worth. They both came into this world through different doors, and only time could tell in which alley they would meet or if they would meet at all. Maybe they would just passing by without even noticing each other among the masses. Who could tell but their hearts? But they both had them locked away safely; barring out all the sadness and pain, along with all the happiness.

The drive to Shizuru's apartment was as silent as the rising sun behind them, fighting down the night that had protected them throughout their sweet reverie. It would be another goodbye; one of many. They already had so many goodbyes that every hello already seemed in vain. Natsuki made it easier by leaving with a simple nod without turning back. It stung, but Shizuru knew she couldn't do anything about it right now. After all, this was how things worked between them. First they would let go of everything, then they'd drown. She was already sick of such cruel game, and she knew she had the power to put an end to this, yet she still felt too torn, too obligated to make a final decision. Her mind wasn't free even when her heart had already broken the chains. She had to choose. It was an inevitable fact, but she didn't feel like it was the right time. _But then, when was it?_ Her head was pounding, and the only thing she knew for sure was that she needed some sleep or she would collapse on the floor.

The sun was already standing high, when Shizuru awoke in the comfort of her bedroom. She felt a bit sore, but the sleep had erased her headache from this morning. She rolled on her back and enjoyed the silence a few minutes longer. Her crimson eyes were scanning the ceiling while her head was already wandering back to the raven-haired beauty. She still couldn't comprehend how an individual could be so beautiful in every movement. She had to admit she felt quite privileged to have touched the flawless body of the stunning girl, and she still didn't know what someone like Natsuki saw in her that made the cool girl act so attentive. As a goofy smile started to form on her lips, the Kyoto-girl decided that it was time to get up. Her mind was plagued by images that were completely X-rated, especially for that time of the day, and she was sure only a long cold shower could help with that.

Finally dressed and ready to face the day, Shizuru wasn't sure if she should talk about the whole situation with Mai or Akane, but given the fact that the friends haven't much cared for her well-being lately she crossed out the thought and decided to keep it a secret a bit longer. She cared for the opinion of her friends, that for sure, but it was already complicated enough with only her and Natsuki involved. _I wonder what she's doing…_ Feeling the urge to contact the other girl, Shizuru started to look for her cell-phone. Luckily, it started ringing a few seconds later. Sadly, they didn't seem to be mind-connected as Reito's number popped up on the display.

"Hello Reito." Her voice was joyful, she didn't know why but somewhere inside this mess there seemed to be happiness. She still felt a bit high from the company of Natsuki, which made it so much easier to talk freely.

"Good morning, Darling." The words were familiar, but still they felt like they were from the past. Shizuru knew that something inside of her had changed, and that something would eventually change her outer world as well. No matter if she was ready or not.

"Ara, I'm afraid it's not morning anymore." Being her old self didn't seem so hard right now, and feeling the words flow out so lightly put her mind at ease for a little while.

"I know. I just thought you might have slept in. After all, you never really sleep well in a foreign bed."

Knowing that she slept quite well in Natsuki's arms, Shizuru tried to brush the topic off as fast as possible. "Well, you're right."

"Of course I am. I know you." _How could you when I don't even know myself anymore. _Not ready to give in to the guilt, she was quick to change the topic.

"So, how are you doing?"

"Good. Do you feel any better?"

"Mh?" Shizuru really wished she would have thought a second longer before replying. She already felt so safe that she forgot how she made Reito believe that she stayed over at Natsuki's. Another lie would have to cover that slip. "Oh yes, much better."

"My my, that's great. So you feel fit enough to go out later?" Luckily, he didn't seem to have noticed her short moment of insecurity, and although she felt at ease about it, the thought of having to attend another event didn't excite her.

"I'm not really in the mood for another party." It wasn't a lie. To be exact it quite stood out in that forest of lies she had planted around her heart.

"It's not a party. It's a surprise." Hearing that it was some kind of present didn't really lift her spirits either. She hated the feeling of Reito still being so courteous towards her when she was so miserable towards him.

"Oh okay…" She said a bit discouraged, but not enough to let the boy falter.

"I'll pick you up at six then." He said, not allowing any more backtalk and so she obeyed.

"Sure…"

"Oh and Shizuru…"

"Yes?"

"Dress up." His voice was mischievous, making the uncertain girl even more insecure.

"Huh?" She didn't like the sound of it at all.

"Goodbye. I love you." He wasn't going to give an adequate answer, that she was sure of, but he also didn't hang up which meant he was waiting for a response. She knew she had to or else he would get the wrong idea. _Although it isn't the wrong idea… is it?_

"I love you, too." The words felt wrong. Like something that was said only because it was a habit. _Love should never be a habit… What am I doing here? _The heaviness in her heart was back like a giant shadow, and she just wished for Natsuki to be here and kiss it away. Just like always. But she also knew she couldn't take the patience of the other girl for granted. Natsuki was waiting for her sake, and she was in the lucky position to choose, although she didn't feel lucky at all. No matter what she'd do, someone she cared a lot for would get hurt.

Silently cursing Reito for having her go out tonight, Shizuru started to look for something appropriate to wear. But nothing seemed to fit her needs for she just couldn't decide. _Now that's a big surprise, isn't it?_ With a dramatic sigh, she closed the closet and grabbed her handbag. Only shopping could save the day now, and maybe then she would spend a great evening with her boyfriend just like in the good old days. And although the happiness didn't come from with him she felt obligated to be there, wherever 'there' was.

When Shizuru entered the Mall, she felt the need for a strong tea before the marathon could start. Sitting down in a little café on the ground level, she let her eyes wander along the masses. She had forgotten that it was Saturday, and the whole shopping center was crammed with people. She hated masses. Masses always meant hectic, and being a rather sedate person Shizuru wasn't very fond of the idea of finding herself something suitable. After a few minutes of deliberating if it would be a better idea to go home, her eyes caught sight of a familiar red head. Not sure whether to hide or to say hello, Shizuru finally decided that it couldn't hurt to at least greet her friend, who was scanning the windows.

"Looking for something in particular?" Shizuru said after approaching the focused girl from behind. A little startled Mai looked up to find Shizuru's reflection in the window. The busty girl turned around and greeted her friend joyful as ever.

"Good to see you Shizuru. I was a bit worried after last night. You looked rather pale." Mai said after turning around with a smile.

"Ara, how sweet of you. Yes, I felt indeed a bit weird. But I am doing much better today."

"I'm glad then." Luckily the background noises of the mall made the upcoming silence between them a bit less awkward. It was always the same when they were alone. Shizuru didn't know if Reito really was the problem that separated them or if they were just too different. Mai was an always cheerful, dedicated and a very honest social girl, who had to work hard for everything, while Shizuru always had been kind of spoiled by her parents. It bothered her that the red head was so happy when her life seemed so miserable on the outside, and Shizuru who had it all, never felt satisfied. She had always felt like a puzzle with too many missing pieces. People had constantly tried to live up to her needs; to put the pieces together but no matter how hard they tried, some things were missing; hiding in the depths of her soul. Living with the thought of being incomplete, was something she had learned to cover with a perfect mask. A mask that had washed away all the colors of her soul, making it even more impossible for anyone to find the fitting pieces, but until now she had grown accustomed to it. Yet, ever since Natsuki had started to paint new colors on the dull blackness inside of her, she felt the burning desire to be whole again. She silently wished for Natsuki to readjust her in every possible way. The continuing battle was so exhausting, and she knew that if she wouldn't do anything, she'd lose it all. She would talk to Reito about her concerns after tonight. She had to.

"Shizuru, are you alright? You look completely absent-minded." Mai's voice sliced through her inner silence, and made her aware of the noisy world around her once again.

"Ara, I'm sorry. I was a bit distracted. I need to find something fancy to wear for tonight."

"Right, the invitation from Reito. I've heard about it." Mai said with a goofy grin.

"You did?" Shizuru cocked a brow, not really knowing why the girl was informed about a private date.

"Don't get the wrong idea, it's just that he has planned it ahead."

"For whatever that means." Shizuru's voice was a bit skeptical, but Mai decided to brush it off with a grin. "You'll know soon enough." A little annoyed about the fact that everyone except her seemed to know what was going on, she changed the topic. "How's Tate by the way?" The short pause and the darkening of Mai's violet eyes indicated that it might not have been the best idea.

"Why would I care?" She said, trying to sound nonchalantly but the Kyoto-girl instantly knew it must be about a certain pink-haired girl.

"Out with Shiho again?"

"I don't care." It was too obvious that Mai was really bothered by the whole situation.

"You're a bad liar."

"Well, maybe you could teach me." Not expecting such a rude response Shizuru was at a loss for words, but Mai was quick to correct herself. "I'm sorry. That was out of line. I am just angry about Yuuichi." The sadness in the girl's voice was proof enough to Shizuru that Mai probably didn't mean it, but even if she meant it who could blame her? After all, she was a liar.

"He loves you. Don't worry too much. He's probably just being nice." She didn't know if she meant what she said, but she had always believed that Tate was all over Mai. _He wouldn't really date Shiho, would he? It's hard to judge other people after I discovered what I am capable of…_

"Way too nice if you ask me. He could have just said no."

"Maybe he wanted to be polite." Shizuru didn't know if she really wanted to defend Tate or if she just wanted to make Mai feel better.

"It's not polite if you can't turn down something that would make the person you love suffer. If you love someone, you want them to be happy."

"Sometimes it's not that easy, is it? Hurt and love are always keeping close company. Have you told him that it bothers you?" She wasn't quite sure if it was really love and hurt or if it was madness that made the whole thing complicated.

"Of course not."

"Well, then how would he know?" She was really just trying to sound reasonable, but it seemed to make Mai even more angry.

"He just should know how it makes me feel. Aren't you doing the same all the time? How is Reito supposed to know how you really feel when you hide everything behind that polite smile of yours?" There was another sequence of silence where both girls would just stare at each other. Mai finally took a deep breath, and opened her mouth again. "I'm sorry, but you're acting different lately. You don't look too happy, and even if Reito hasn't said anything about it to you yet, don't think that he doesn't notice. He knows you Shizuru, and he loves you. That's why he's afraid to confront you."

The chestnut-haired girl lifted her head a little to let her gaze wander along the masses. She felt so lost in a place that was crowded. "People sometimes simply change."

"Not people… Feelings." The words felt like they would destroy every little hope Shizuru held the last days. Maybe it really was not about Reito or herself or Natsuki. Maybe it was about feelings after all.

Mai probably saw that her words hitting the right spot, and decided to let it go. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bother you. Want me to help you look for something suitable for tonight?"

"Sure." Well aware of the fact that being alone now would only lead to over thinking she decided that company was the better idea.

After a good two hours of waiting in endless queues, Shizuru had finally found herself a nice attire. A knee-long tight black skirt and a purple blouse with a kind of extravagant touch that would probably earn her some glances tonight, were now neatly packed in a bag. But outside of the outfit she didn't feel prepared for the evening at all.

As the doorbell sang its familiar song, Shizuru let out one last sigh before she grabbed her handbag and headed for the door. Reito was waiting for her with his sweetest smile, and Shizuru couldn't help but smile back. He could be truly adorable, and she just wished that she would be able to see and cherish this more often.

"Hello Shizuru, you look breathtaking." He said in a flattering tone, but his words were genuine.

"Thank you. You look quite good yourself." Shizuru thought that a suit always a good choice, and especially Reito was the type of person who could wear one without ever looking out of place. "So, where are you taking me?"

"You'll see soon enough." He held his hand out, and the crimson-eyed girl took it after a second of hesitation. The drive wasn't very long as they stopped in a parking lot in the city that wasn't too far from the mall. Shizuru retrieved from asking again where they were going. She always had been a very patient person, and those few minutes more wouldn't kill her.

On the way through the streets, they chit-chatted about their day and the crowded mall that Shizuru had to fight for the outfit. It almost felt like their earlier days where everything was perfect.

"Okay, we're there." He said in front of a big building that Shizuru knew all too well. It stood out in the modern architecture of the city as it appeared rather old.

"The theatre?" She asked in disbelief not really sure if she was right, but when his only reply was a smile, she knew that she was right. "Isn't it currently closed due to renovation?"

"Yes, but not tonight. Tonight they have a special show probably inside the half-done hall. Though, I think it's rather fitting…" He smirked again and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"Don't tell me…" Shizuru had an idea, but thought that she would have known about it months ago. Although, she had to admit she was quite busy with herself lately.

"Yes, it's Romeo and Juliet." Shizuru could feel her heart lift and drop at the same time. The name of her favorite play painfully reminded her of the most precious talk with Natsuki in the house of her dead grandmother, and it also held a nostalgia that filled her with sheer happiness.

"That's very sweet of you. Thank you." Shizuru purred as she leaned in to deliver her gratitude with her lips. As soon as their lips touch an awkward jolt shot through her body. The familiar feeling that usually lay in the kiss was gone replaced by something she couldn't describe. It was a kiss, but to her it lacked any emotion. Her heart was still. Too still.

"Hey hey, go get a room." A male voice interrupted the intimate moment, and Shizuru instantly felt bad that she considered the interruption as something good. Yet, when she turned around to see who was talking to them, she instantly regretted the thought. Her gaze only briefly fell on the spiky-haired boy before her ruby eyes hit the blazing emerald. It terrified her that she wasn't able to read anything in those stunning orbs. Natsuki was just standing there, watching her silently without faltering. _Did she see me kissing him? Of course, why else would have Takeda commented on it… Shoot! I hope she didn't get the wrong idea. Wait! What's the wrong idea anyway? Reito's my boyfriend I can kiss him whenever I want… which is not often lately… But of course she'd be there when it actually happens. Thank you karma._

Shizuru was well aware that was incredibly hypocrite to be bothered by Takeda's present when she had just kissed Reito in front of the girl she had spent the night with, but she couldn't help her feelings. She really wanted to know what they were doing here.

"Ara, what a coincidence to meet you here."

"Coincidence indeed." Reito muttered, his voice sounding slightly annoyed. Shizuru turned her head to see what was wrong, and figured that it was something between the boys as Reito focused his best friend intensely.

"Yeah, you know…" Takeda started, while his hand was nervously rubbing the back of his head; a sure sign that he was either nervous or uncomfortable, probably both. Before he could end the sentence, he decided to come over and pull Reito a little further away to tell him something in private. Not wanting to eavesdrop on them Shizuru focused her attention back to Natsuki. Only now, she noticed that the raven-haired girl was dressed in a white blouse and dark jeans, which was rather elegant for her usual appearance.

"You look good." Shizuru said, and found the words to be the understatement of the year.

"Thanks. You look quite nice yourself." came the husky reply. It didn't sound very affectionate but who could blame the girl after their encounter.

"So, are you on a date or something?" Shizuru tried to sound nonchalantly but the truth was hiding in her crimson eyes.

"I was. But I think we're on a double date now since we're going to the theatre too." Natsuki stated bluntly as pointed lazily at the building behind Shizuru.

"Lovely…" was the first thing that came to her mind. She knew she shouldn't be so openly sarcastic, but it was kind of annoying that after last night they both met again on a date with their boyfriends. When Natsuki didn't say anything anymore, Shizuru tried to keep the conversation going, for silence would make her feel uncomfortable. "So, Romeo and Juliet, huh? I thought you didn't like it."

"I thought a lot of things that have now changed."

The unwanted silence came nonetheless as the Kyoto-girl didn't quite know what to respond. Luckily, Natsuki was now the one to break it. "It wasn't my idea though. Takeda invited me, and I bet he didn't come up with the idea." The raven-haired girl said, looking over Shizuru's shoulder to get a glimpse of the conversation behind them. The boys were discussing. Or better said, Reito was standing there, listening to Takeda's babbling. The spiky-head seemed to feel Natsuki's eyes on him and stopped the argument. He gave Reito one last question look that the boy answered with a nod. Then both came back as if nothing had happened.

"Sorry, to make you wait ladies. Shall we go inside then?" Takeda's voice and appearance weren't as cool as the statement and evoked a laugh from the so-called 'ladies'. Shizuru gives Reito a side-glance to check if everything was fine. He looked still a bit annoyed, but who could blame him. He hadn't possibly planned for this to be a double date.

"Don't even ask." He said in a defeated tone. The Kyoto-girl grabbed his hand to give it a light squeeze. "Thank you, I am really looking forward to it." She said to reassure him that she wasn't bothered by the situation, although it wasn't quite true. Reito smiled in response, and both went inside the building behind Takeda, who was unsure whether to grab Natsuki's hand or not.

The inside was only dimly lit, and the old stone walls gave away a chilly and mystic atmosphere. Shizuru had to admit the atmosphere very much resembled the old buildings in Rome. She had been in Italy a few years ago, but sadly didn't have the time to visit Verona, a happenstance she still regretted deeply. Right now though, she felt a little like visiting Verona now. They walked through a long hallway that lead them into the main hall. The echo of their footsteps was carried along as they stepped into the huge room that looked a bit like an ancient temple. A round stage was set up in the middle of the room, and Shizuru loved how it looked like the Globe Theatre. She had always wanted to see one of Shakespeare's plays in that kind of theatre, and being able to watch Romeo and Juliet out of all the pieces felt like a dream. Her feet stopped moving and her eyes were shining with a kind of happiness that was rarely seen. Her friends seemed to notice the change as well as they all stopped, looking at how she amazed was. The only thing that eventually brought Shizuru back from her dreamy escape was the intense gaze of the emerald eyes that were focusing her. She eventually locked eyes with Natsuki, who looked just as fascinated, but somehow Shizuru knew it wasn't about the theatre but her.

When they reached their seats Reito got a little tense again, and Shizuru figured that it was because Takeda had booked the seats next to them.

"Don't be mad. Your idea was wonderful. I love it here and I can't wait for the play to start. It's one of the best presents ever. I don't mind it to be a double date." She winked in order to lift his spirits and was successful as he smiled back. Natsuki was silently placing herself next to Shizuru. As soon as all of them had seated themselves an awkward silence took place. Only now the Kyoto-girl started to realize how strange it felt to sit between her boyfriend and the girl she had fallen for. Suddenly her heart begun to pound heavier, and she could practically fear the guilt trying to crawl back in into her consciousness. She couldn't let it happen. Not now, not after Reito did such a sweet thing. Or especially because of that? When the lights flickered out a moment later, she felt herself in a kind of darkness that instantly brought her mind back to a place that was free from guilt and pain, free from anything bad. She thought that if she would allow herself to close her eyes, she would be able to see the starlit sky again. Feeling her thoughts travel, she couldn't do anything but allow the little escapism.

She could still feel the sensation of the soft skin burn under her nails. Hot breaths that had culminated into moans were ringing in her ears. Uncountable images flickered in front of her mind's eye as the darkness surrounded them once more. When a beam of light was thrown on the stage, Shizuru's mind was already lost in memories. Memories which were still so present and fresh that they barely deserved the name. They were more like shreds of her heart that finally came in touch with her mind and soul. Her thoughts were remembering and analyzing each and every centimeter of Natsuki's body as if she was only now able to digest the beauty of the moments they had shared. It was a completely new feeling to have her hands wander along the curves of a female body that was so much like her own. Still it had felt nothing like her own. She did have sex before, yes. But touching Reito was not even close to what Natsuki felt. It was different, but it was a good kind of different. A very good kind. She still remembered the warmth beneath her as she bent down to kiss the sensitive spot between neck and ear, and how the raven-haired girl had bent under the movement of her hips. The arousal of the fast but deep breathing, the look of dedication in these green eyes let her heart beat faster. Her walk down memory lane made her almost completely skip the opening scene of her favorite play, and she inwardly chided herself for being so inconsiderate as to have such thoughts while sitting between Natsuki and Reito. She inhaled deeply before trying to breathe out all of the inappropriate images while she forced her attention back on the stage.

Not one seat in the theatre hall was empty, but Shizuru didn't pay much attention to the audience as her heart was now fully intoxicated by the destined pairing on the stage. The mask ball was one of her favorite moments for she knew it lead to the first meeting and the balcony scene. She had always loved the dialogue while Romeo was standing under the balcony looking up to his new found love that would change the course of life. Even if it led to his untimely death, she was sure that having felt that love towards Julia just once was worth it all. When the stage became dark and a starlit sky appeared with the balcony in front, her mind was blown away by the glistening of the little light dots. She couldn't help but losing her mind again in the warmth of her memories. It was too fresh, too good to be ignored or forgotten so easily, and sitting right next to the person who gave her such amazing feelings didn't help either. It was as if the shimmering on the black pulled her right back into her sins no matter if Reito was the one who arranged this wonderful evening. It seems one can only fool their heart for so long… Her eyes shyly left the stage to wander throughout the darkness in search of the emeralds next to her. When she found them Natsuki had already been looking at her, and it caught the chestnut-haired girl a little off-guard to have already been watched. Does she also think of last night? Shizuru still didn't trust her instincts on reading in those deep green orbs, although she was hoping that the raven-haired girl wouldn't remember anything else. The stage didn't give away much light, and right there in the darkness the two girls once more became lost into each other. Natsuki's finger softly grazed Shizuru's hand that was tightly clenched around the arm of the chair. The little touch caused her to loosen her grip, and she let her muscles relax for a little. When the finger slowly started caressing her palm, Shizuru's heart rate started to speed up. She tried to control her breathing but couldn't help the effect the other girl had on her.

Just like last night, she wasn't able to pull away. It felt too right to be wrong although her head shouted at her that it was very wrong. But somehow she had started to lose track. Why was it so wrong? Because of morals? Because of the ideals she had made up for herself? She had never been a person who was good with trusting her feelings, let alone the feelings of somebody else. Yet, Natsuki somehow was able to scratch her soul in a way that made it impossible for Shizuru to ignore. She had tried to let it go, tried to leave it behind, but her heart simply wasn't listening to her commands. She wasn't used to disobedience, which made it even harder. But she could feel herself falling slowly, and somehow it wasn't as terrifying as before. With each day it started to become more of a bad habit she had to live with. And with time she found out that bad habits not only die hard, but also add a special spice to life she had been missing all along.

Natsuki's gaze was still piercing her, sending hidden words and meanings she wasn't able to decipher. But it didn't matter for she was already drowning in the jade-colored waves. It was the same ocean where she had dared to drown last night, only this time she wasn't distracted by rhythmic movements and panting. Those eyes had been her anchor when everything around her started to swirl. They had given her faith and they had calmed her down and aroused her at the same time. And even if she knew nothing at all, she knew they were hypnotic and able to take away her fear along with her breath.

When Natsuki slowly intertwined her fingers with Shizuru's, the Kyoto-girl shrugged a little. It was dark but not that dark, and Reito was sitting right next to her. A loud shout from the stage made Shizuru jump a little for she had completely forgotten where she actually was. It was the nurse who was calling for Juliet, who was still on the balcony talking to her Romeo. Reito noticed the movement of Shizuru and put his arms around her shoulder with a warm smile as if he wanted to calm her. The instant his arm encircled her, Natsuki let go of her hand. It irritated her completely, and she suddenly felt the need to leave this madness.

"Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom." Shizuru whispered as silent as possible when Reito looked at with a confused expression.

"Don't you want to wait for the official break? You might miss something." He said just as quiet, looking around to check if they disturbed anyone.

"I know that play by hard and the break will be shortly, and then the bathroom will be cramped up with girls. So, I'd rather go now." She smiled apologetically, as she gracefully rose from her seat to walk towards the exit.

As soon as she had reached the door she heard footsteps behind her, she knew instantly who it was and right now she wasn't sure if she had a good feeling about it. Without turning around, she left the hall and quickly made her way towards the bathroom. The door opened again shortly afterwards, and at first Shizuru didn't dare to turn around for it was always dangerous to be alone with the dark-haired beauty. Her gaze drifted from the little white tiles on the floor to the toilet cabins in front of her. She thought about just running in one of them to avoid the inevitable, but before she could move a toe, an arm encircled her softly from behind causing her abdomen muscles to tense. She could feel the warmth of the body behind her being dangerously close, a hot breath brushing her ear. "Breathe…"

She obeyed the command and let out the air she had unconsciously held in. It felt good to take in some new oxygen, and she could feel her lungs and heart work right again. Well, at least for her lungs she was sure, her heart was another story.

"You shouldn't have followed me…" Her words were mere whispers but in the empty bathroom it felt as if everything was too loud.

"Why not?" Natsuki's husky voice echoed through the tiled room, while Shizuru's thoughts started racing again.

_Because I can't be near you… not to mention being alone with you without feeling the desire to hold you close… to kiss you… although you always seem to be the one holding me._ "Because it's wrong…" Shizuru finally breathed, knowing that she once again didn't dare to speak her mind. She could feel how Natsuki loosened her grip, but was quick to put her hands over Natsuki's to rest in the arms of the other girl just a tad longer.

"Don't let go…" was all she could manage to say, and even if it wasn't enough it was all she had to give at the moment. She could only hope that Natsuki was able to hold on long enough for her to finally make up her mind, but she couldn't blame the girl if she wasn't willing to do so.

"I'm trying, but I won't hold on to something that will destroy me in the end. I've been there before and I am not planning on ever going there again." Natsuki stated a lot colder than Shizuru had expected. She knew Natsuki was referring to Jun, but it was hard to accept that she would have to pay be for Jon's mistakes. She knew she had no right to be angry for she wasn't treating the emerald-eyed girl very nice herself, but at least she knew she had feelings for her. She wouldn't marry Reito, and simply forget about Natsuki like Jun did. At least not anymore. It was much too late to go back, and although she also didn't know how to move forward, she was sure that she wouldn't stand still forever. Yet, it made her somehow mad that the words sounded as if Natsuki had already given up on her. Of course, she couldn't really blame her for the girl endured much more than she should, but Shizuru had hoped it would be different. She could feel how the walls that disappeared whenever the other girl was near, started to build up again, and she didn't like it all. Still, she couldn't do anything about it. It was her way of protecting her heart, even if it meant top shut out happiness too.

"Then you better leave now because I know for a fact that I am destructive. I feel like I'd be able to end the world for just one kiss with you, and I am more than afraid that if I let my doubts go no one will survive. Least of all me." Shizuru could feel how she was almost choking on the last words. It was as if releasing some of her deep buried fears was more exhausting than she would have thought. Had she really been repressing herself so much during the last years? She wasn't sure, but lately she wasn't sure about anything anymore.

Instead of replying something, Natsuki hugged her even closer. It was desperate, but it was also understanding, and Shizuru knew that the other girl suffered just as much if not worse. She could feel the silent sighing behind her, and felt the need to say something to ease the pain a little. It couldn't be too wrong for the words had been engraved in her heart for so long.

"Natsuki, I don't know when it got so complicated. I don't even know what this is. All I know is that we shouldn't. But the more I'm forcing my mind to let got, the more my heart holds onto it." Shizuru said, before turning around. The second her eyes met Natsuki she was roughly pushed against the wall behind her. Within a second, her lips were captured in fiery and needy kiss. Every time she felt the soft lips collide with hers, she got a feeling that she had been doing this for years. As if their lips were made for each other. She didn't have to think, she could just let go and knew that every movement was matched exactly right. Her stomach was tingling with sensation, and although she hadn't felt like smiling a second, she couldn't help but smile into the kiss once again. It was as if Natsuki's lips were able to put her heart at ease while they drove her mind crazy. When the raven-haired girl was about to pull away, Shizuru softly bit the lower lip of her opposite for she wasn't willing to let the kiss end just now. She could feel Natsuki's light smile as the girl wrapped her arms around her waist to bring her even closer. After another seconds filled with soft parting of lips ticked away, the girls finally pulled away with her eyes fixated on each other. The emerald-eyed girl was looking at with incredulous eyes, and Shizuru knew she was contemplating to say something, and so she waited patiently.

"All you ever say is 'we shouldn't'. But why? Why shouldn't we? I mean it feels right to me, and if I am not completely mistaken it feels right for you, too." Shizuru had averted her eyes when Natsuki stated that it felt right, but the other girl wouldn't let her slip away so easily. She caught the gaze of the crimson-eyed beauty before it could hit the floor, and Shizuru was sure Natsuki could see right through her. There was no use in denying it. It felt right, and so she just nodded weakly.

"Then why?" Natsuki asked, and the Kyoto-girl knew she wouldn't get off the hook so easily this time. Of course, she couldn't expect this to go on like that forever. She couldn't just fool around with Natsuki and pretend to have a working relationship with Reito. But then, why was Natsuki still dating Takeda.

"Don't you feel guilty towards Takeda? What about him?" The question had always burned on her mind. Weren't they somehow in the same position?

Natsuki didn't appear too startled about the question though. And so Shizuru figured she probably had thought about that question a lot, too. The girl kept looking straight into her eyes. The expression in those green orbs was so strong that Shizuru felt weak by only looking at them. Natsuki always had that aura of determination around her while Shizuru herself felt so weak and fickle. When the raven-haired girl opened her mouth, her voice was just as steady as her eyes. "I do feel guilty, but these feelings for you weight so much more. They've become so heavy that guilt or logic doesn't have a say in this anymore. But it's not about what's right, because in times like this nothing is right. It's about what you want. And if you want me just say so because I am completely sure what I want…" She made a small pause, and brought her head close again. Her lips hovering closely above Shizuru, before she breathed the final conclusion. "You."

It was too much. Everything felt too much at this moment. The heartbeat was too strong, her thoughts too fast and her mind too slow to keep up with all the emotion that were floating her body. Shizuru softly tried to push Natsuki away, but the biker didn't move an inch. "I can't. It doesn't matter what I want. I simply can't hurt Reito that way." Her words were desperate but somehow they seemed to lack what was most important… honesty. She knew, she said it because she had to, because it was the right thing to do, but she didn't feel them. And Natsuki felt it too because instead of letting Shizuru escape, she brought her even closer. All the oxygen was consumed as they were only able to breathe the breath of their opposite, and the tension was rising with every second the lingered with their lips so dangerously close. Natsuki's grip around her waist and her burning skin against the cold tiles behind her made the arousal even worse. Unable to hold herself back any longer, she breathed her words into Natsuki's mouth. "This is the last time… I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." The raven-haired girl replied quietly before closing the last remaining distance.

The kiss, although it was just as fiery as before, felt different this time. It was not only driven by passion, but by something Shizuru didn't dare to name just now. Her heart had already formed the word, but her mind wouldn't allow it to be real. The feelings were undeniable by now, and Shizuru knew her voice had to give them meaning. For now, she would settle with just enjoying the moment. Kissing the raven-haired girl was so intoxicating that her mind wasn't able to think clearly anyway.

After a few more minutes where they kept exploring the mouth of the other intensely, chatter could be heard from the hallway. The girls slowly broke the kiss, both having a light blush on their faces. As the voices came closer to the bathroom door, Natsuki stepped back from Shizuru with a shy smile, which looked absolutely adorable in the Kyoto-girls eyes. Being so bold and so shy at the same time… That's certainly an intriguing and loveable feature. Suddenly, she was reminded of the moment when Romeo kissed Juliet for the first time. It was also a very passionate kiss although Romeo appeared rather shy and courteous at the first.

"… from my lips, by your lips, my sin is purged." She whispered before planting another small kiss on those soft lips. Natsuki's smiled widened, and Shizuru knew without doubt that the girl knew that she had been quoting that special scene from the play.

When the door swung open and a group of bickering girls came in, Shizuru and Natsuki were standing side by side in front of the sinks as if nothing had happened. With a knowing smile on their faces, they silently went back to the main hall, knowing that the boys would be waiting for them.

And indeed Takeda and Reito were standing in front of their seats, looking out for their girls.

"Why do women always have to go to the bathroom together?" Reito asked his best friend while he watched the girls coming back in.

"I have no idea. They probably need to exchange make-up or trading secrets or something. Who knows pal… That's one of the big mysteries men won't ever be able to solve." They both started to laugh in union.

"Did we miss something funny?" came the alluring Kyoto-ben.

"No, nothing." Reito said as he swung his arms around Shizuru to plant a light kiss on her cheek. Shizuru only smiled friendly as she didn't want to get the boy suspicious. It was also a very odd feeling to be in his arms when Natsuki's taste lingered upon her lips. But for the record, she had to admit that it became less painful than the first times. She wouldn't dare to say, she got used to cheating, but since it felt so good to be with Natsuki, she also didn't regret it too much. The only thing she really regretted was that she was about to push someone so precious to her away.

"I see." She replied, before Takeda took the initiative with Natsuki. He bravely brought his arm around the waist of the raven-haired beauty, and although Shizuru had expected the girl to stop him, Natsuki didn't move away. It bothered Shizuru to see that Natsuki was okay with being held like that by the spiky-head, but what could she say?

"So, who's ready for the final act?" Reito tossed in before Shizuru could brood any longer.

"I am." Natsuki said, giving a challenging gaze towards the crimson-eyes.

Shizuru only smiled a knowing smile and nodded before they sat down again each one in the arms of their date, and although their heartbeat had synchronized they weren't quite that ready for the final act.

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><p><strong>AN:** Alright, new month, new luck. Here I bring you the next chapter of Scad. I know it took me some time, but life is messy. I am living this god damn story in my real life (yes, I am single now .) and I am really trying to write whenever I find time. So don't be too mad. There are only three more chapters to go, so this might end soon ;-) But don't worry guys, I have other stories planned out.

I am looking for a new beta for my new stories as well as for the ones I have already published. My good old friend has become too busy (or lazy^^who knows). Preferably mothertongue of course :) Shoot me a pm if you're interested.

And last but not least I wanted to thank all of the reviewers. You guys are amazing =)


	15. Expiry

_**"Don't treat me like I am something that happened to you."**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Mai HiME.**_**  
><strong>_

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><p><strong>Chapter 15 – Expiry<strong>

Night had already painted the world outside in black when the group said their goodbyes. The ride home was rather silent for the chestnut-haired girl and her boyfriend as they sat in Reito's black Mercedes Benz. The play still echoed through her mind while she stared out of the window. It wasn't a bad silence though, at least not for Reito as he didn't seem to have a clue that something was wrong. For him, the evening went perfect. He had surprised Shizuru with a beautiful present, thinking that things would go smoother from now on while Shizuru felt horrible for contemplating words that would probably destroy him. Maybe it wasn't the right time, but was there ever a right time? Lately, everything seemed to be about right and wrong, but who could tell the difference anyway? Probably time could. Time always held the best solution, and patience usually was one of her strong points. Still, Shizuru felt she had already used up a lot of time. It was like one big waste, whenever she wasn't near the black-haired beauty. With these thoughts slowly growing inside of her heart it became more and more unbearable to repress her desires. She knew she had to be strong. She knew she had to be honest and true to herself. Not only for her sake but for Reito's and Natsuki's as well.

When Reito stopped the engine in front of her apartment, she felt her heart sink. The whole initiation for a conversation like this was much harder than expected a moment ago. Clueless, Reito attempted to get out of the car, but was stopped by a hand on his thigh.

"What is it?" He asked a bit flustered. His voice was strong and a tad worried. Shizuru had trouble holding back a gulp, although she felt a strong need to swallow whatever seemed to make her choke. She knew it wasn't physical, but still she wanted to stop the words from coming out. How hard can it be, really? _Get a hold of yourself, Shizuru! You can do this. You owe that to him. Be honest. He won't hate you…right?_ Reito's hand brushing hers brought her back to reality, and she couldn't help but shrug under the contact. Reito noticed the strange behavior but said nothing.

"Reito…" Shizuru couldn't recognize her own voice. It sounded so fragile, so distant. "I think we need to talk."

"I don't particularly like conversations that start out like this."

The Kyoto-girl kept her eyes fixated on her legs, unable to look the person she had loved for the last years in the eyes. "Me neither, but the last weeks were rough and I think we have to talk this through."

"Listen Shizuru, I know you're kind of weird lately and I know that I frightened you with the idea of moving together. I could see it in your eyes and I promise you I won't rush things. If it's not okay with you, I'm willing to wait. Our relationship was always somewhat of a wait for me. I love you and I don't want things to become more awkward. This evening was perfect. Can't we just take the good feeling upstairs instead of brooding?" The words felt heavy. She didn't want to let the possibility slip away, yet she felt bad about the evening. _He's right. The evening was very nice and he must have put a lot of effort in it. It wouldn't be fair to destroy everything right now…_ She suddenly felt a hand on her neck, which caused her gaze to lock with Reito's. The amber eyes were much softer than expected. She couldn't do this to him. Not right now. Without spending another word, Reito pulled her in for a kiss, and Shizuru felt unable to turn him down. She closed her eyes and tried to recall a feeling she had missed for a long time, but even when he dragged her into the apartment while slowly undressing the slender body, she couldn't find what she was looking for. The love had abandoned her, or maybe she had abandoned love. Either way, she couldn't tell.

The next day started off as something that could only be described as usual, although Shizuru very much felt it to be nostalgia rather than routine. Waking up next to Reito had become a habit over the years, but lately she was getting more and more used to wake up alone.

"Good morning, beautiful." Reito said into her ear in his rough morning voice. It freaked her out a little suddenly to feel him so close behind her, but she didn't let it show.

"Good morning." She answered relatively unimpressed.

"That was a good night." He grinned mischievously as he pulled her into his arms. Shizuru didn't struggle against it but remained quiet. After awhile of simply lying there and staring at the ceiling, Reito was the one to initiate the conversation again.

"I need to go home and get change before we meet up with the others later." At first Shizuru didn't really get what he was saying but when it sank in, she couldn't hide her surprise. Clearly visible to Reito he was quick to give her a 'don't-tell-me-you-forgot-about-it-glance', but Shizuru could do nothing but stare at him in question.

"Today is Mai's long planned 'Dinner in the Dark' at Kazuya's house." He said in slightly scolding voice although Shizuru knew he didn't mean it. He always used that voice when he secretly triumphed about her forgetting something.

"Dinner in the Dark…" When she repeated the words it slowly started to ring a bell_. I have completely forgotten about it…or maybe I have ignored it on purpose. In the dark…nothing good will come out of darkness in combination with Natsuki…I should cancel it. I could fake stomach sickness or something…_ She let out a small sigh, knowing quite well that she wouldn't be able to stop herself from attending.

"So, I'll meet you at seven sharp at Kazuya's?" Reito asked while standing up and gathering his clothes. Shizuru examined the back of his boyfriend intensely. He really was handsome. Perfect body, perfect face, perfect manners._ Perfect…I wonder if that's the problem._ The idea of Natsuki with all her little flaws was so much more intriguing at the moment, and she really started to worry if there was any way back to the boy that still meant so much to her. Everything she had loved and adored had become more meaningless with every touch she had shared with the raven-haired girl. Unable to shake the idea off, she started to remember that she still had to have a serious talk with him about how they would proceed, and what was even more important was that she had to face herself. To find out what she really wanted, which seemed to be the much bigger obstacle right now. It was clear that now was not the time to break things off hastily. So first, she needed to find the strength to confront her deepest fears, but now was not the time for she didn't dare ruin Mai's long planned dinner. Shizuru had never been the emotional type. She needed some rationality once in a while, and if she would do anything stupid now, she was sure she'd regret it later. She gave Reito a quick goodbye kiss, and closed the door behind him. It was good to have some time alone now. She really could use it. Whenever she was around Natsuki for too long, she felt like losing her mind. It became so unbearably hard to stay rational, especially when she was pulled in one of those fiery kisses, which she secretly enjoyed way too much. A smile graced her lips as the mental image of their kiss in the bathroom fluttered through her head. Weeks ago she couldn't even imagine kissing another female and now it felt like the best thing ever. As if she had been waiting for this to happen.

Of course, she always was a rather passionate individual, but with Natsuki it was different. It felt like the girl had unleashed her true desire. Shizuru was afraid of the person she was deep down inside, but she was also curious. She wanted to know how deep her capacity to love someone really was. The feeling that she had so much more to give had been a constant companion to her. And slowly she finally felt like getting rid of the feeling of being held back. She wondered if it was just an act of her heart or really some kind of liberation. Either way she somewhat felt reborn. The sad thing was that the world was still the same; old and rusty. It is difficult to move on when your surroundings stay the same. When there was one thing she had more than needed it was fear. The Kyoto-girl had always been used to being looked up at. She was the star of her school, and was admired throughout the university too. It was somewhat natural. She had the perfect boyfriend, the perfect family, perfect manners…It really was all about perfection. What would people think of her if she'd suddenly altered her life completely? Would it make her a different person or would she simply be the person she had always kept hidden inside herself. It was true. She did have female fans too, and she enjoyed them just as much. But she never ever had considered falling for a girl for real. It just wasn't appropriate. But now that it seemed to be the case it felt so different from what she had with Reito.

On the day, Shizuru had become student-council president with Reito as her vice-president, rumors started to spread all over the school. They both had been famous among their classmates, but now the whole school began to have an eye on the handsome young man from the wealthy family, and the flawless always smiling girl. They kind of fitted the image of a modern role model perfectly. Of course, Shizuru had heard of that Kanzaki-boy who made the women swoon before, but she never really paid attention for she had her own fan club to take care of. But given the fact that they had to work together, she finally came to know him better. He was polite and had good manners. A real gentleman. He even was witty and funny at times, but somehow she never really saw more in him. Until that one day, when both of them were sitting in silence in the student-council room waiting for the director to show up.

Reito was sitting across from her sipping a cup of Lotus-Tea, while Shizuru went over some paperwork. It was sunny outside, and the chirping of the insects made the peaceful picture even more beautiful. She didn't know why, but suddenly she felt like she was being stared at. That feeling you get when you know somebody is secretly watching you. She slowly brought her gaze up from her work, and was met with striking honey-colored eyes that looked even more stunning in the sunlight. She had to admit her heart skipped a tiny bit, seeing the boy looking at her in this special way. He was indeed charming, and, of course, there would be rumors about them. Knowing that Shizuru had noticed his gaze he flashed a smile at her before speaking.

"You know Shizuru-san, I've been thinking."

"Is that so? I didn't know you were into philosophy." She wasn't sure if she liked the beginning of that talk, and tried to give it a slightly humorous edge.

Reito just smiled even wider at her responded. "Well, it seems you don't know much about me at all, and that's what I've been thinking about. I believe it'd be good for us to give in to the rumors." Shizuru was contemplating if she should act like she didn't know what he was talking about, but figured that he was too smart to fall for the innocent girl act. "Ara, that's not a very charming way to ask a girl out."

The dark-haired boy chuckled lightly before he replied. "I think we're very alike, and I believe a relationship could benefit both of us." The chestnut-haired girl was fumbling with the sleeve of her jacket. Something she only did when feeling slightly uncomfortable. Not knowing what to reply she just looked at him with indifference. "I mean our parents already like each other since they made contact at the last school festival. In fact, mine are asking about you and me the whole time, and the whole school things we are secretly in love with each other anyway."

"But we aren't." Shizuru shot out, fairly more spontaneous than usual. She was one to think first and speak later but it seemed that in terms of heart, she still was just an ordinary high school girl. Reito noticed the change instantly, and for the first time seriously considered more than just business. He eyed her closely before replying with a genuine smile. "Not yet."

The next weeks Reito more and more fell into what was commonly known in school as 'The Kaichou-magnetism'. He soon found himself head over heels and was ready to do anything to make that gorgeous Kyoto-girl his. However, Shizuru wasn't one to be easily impressed. She was used to being flattered and gave the boy a fairly hard time, which only made it more interesting for Reito to win her over. He was sure that he was the one to make her happy. Shizuru herself never was so certain about that, but after a long convincing talk with her parents, she decided to at least give it a try.

The whole school seemed to swoon over the official news and it made them both even more popular than before. Of course, the family get-togethers were always kind of a big polite celebration. Both of their parents had a high interest in keeping a close eye on their companies, hence they were more than happy to see their children getting along so well that maybe a fusion would be easier than expected in the future.

Thinking back on their beginnings gave the chestnut-haired girl a strange feeling of nostalgia. It hadn't exactly been a very romantic story but she had to admit that they indeed looked charming together. She was so used to the perfect picture that the image of herself next to another girl, next to Natsuki, didn't fit. Of course, it was silly to play always by the rules and to always do what everyone expected from her, but she had lived up to those standards her whole life. Breaking free from them wasn't as easy as it probably sounded. It wasn't about her parents, or her reputation. It was simply about how she had pictured herself in the future. Love never had played such an important role in her life before as she had always kept her focus on school and work. Reito was there, and they got along well. That was all she needed, and suddenly this strange girl comes along and leaves a gasping hole in her chest. Something that wasn't there before, something that only Natsuki could fill and it scared Shizuru to death that she didn't know how to cope with her own desire and longing. The choices that seemed to be the most wrong ones suddenly became her only option because she wasn't able to fight this. Her head was battling with her heart all day long but it just kept beating stronger. _This must be the modern version of a Jane Austen novel…_ Shizuru sighed and started to drag herself up. There was no use in running or escaping. The only road left was labeled 'facing your fears' and it was hers to take.

An azure-colored sky slowly melted with the tangerine horizon as the sun sunk into the shadows of the upcoming night. The first stars shimmered above the city when the doorbell rang Shizuru out of the security of her apartment. Looking once more in the mirror before going she shook her head in disbelief. Maybe she had put too much effort in her clothing. It was a gathering of friends and not a meeting after all, but somehow she felt like looking good.

When she opened the door, Reito seemed to have read her thought as he eyed her with a sly smile. "Don't get me wrong, you're gorgeous but why on earth are you all dressed up? It's a dinner in the dark." He said in an amused but still charming tone. She knew he only meant to tease her. After all that was the way they both clicked and communicated.

"Well, I had thought about going naked, which would make this whole thing a lot funnier, but I figured Takeda would probably bleed to death if there would happen to be a beam of light." Her Kyoto-ben made even the kinkiest things sound innocent.

"Since I know you how you look naked, I can assure you not only Takeda would die."

"Why, thank you. Maybe I should get undressed then, so we can avoid the dread." She grabbed her jacket and keys and closed the door. Reito gave her a short kiss before replying: "Oh come on. I'm sure it'll be fun and Mai's cooking skills are quite good."

"I know. I know. Let's go then." Shizuru said in a defeated tone before they left the building.

When they arrived at Kazuya's home, the upper floor was already plunged into darkness. Not a single light disturbed the perfect obscurity of the dining hall. Light chatter could be heard from across the room before they noticed someone rushing over to them.

"Hey guys, it's good to see you." Mai's cheering voice was unmistakable. Only the fact that it was so close to them made them inwardly jump a little.

"Well, I'd love to say the same but truth be told I can't see a thing." Reito answered charmingly as ever. Usually, Shizuru would be annoyed by the flirting tone towards Mai but her head was already occupied by listening for a certain voice among the chatter.

"Oh right, that's the whole point isn't it?" The redhead snickered lightly and Shizuru bet she was blushing a bit. Darkness conceals everything. "Anyhow, I have these night-vision goggles for serving the food and to escort the guests safely to their seats."

"Ara, I'm glad I didn't come naked then." Shizuru mumbled more to herself than to anyone in particular and was a little startled when Mai responded.

"Huh?" She could practically feel Reito's smirk in the dark, but decided to drop that conversation better sooner than later. "Nothing." was the word that saved her from going into detail and luckily Mai didn't ask again but instead took her by the hand to lead them to the others. Shizuru couldn't see the table, but didn't complain as Mai told her to make herself at home before the redhead disappeared into another room that was not completely dark but fairly dimly lit. Shizuru figured it must be the hall that led to the kitchen.

"Hey there darklings." Akane greeted them from the left. Shizuru couldn't make out any figures for the room was perfectly prepared for the event.

"Hey everyone." Shizuru replied, hoping to find out who was already there.

"Hi hi!" Tate tossed in and after everyone had said there hello's the door opened again. Shizuru instantly knew who was coming in. She hadn't recognized the husky voice on the table and was sure that Natsuki would as always arrive fashionably late. For a short moment, she thought about going over and helping her find the table, but before she could even move a finger Takeda jumped up.

"Over here! Wait a second. I'll come and get you." Always so enthusiastic…

"No need to. I can easily follow your screaming." Shizuru had to repress a chuckle when she heard the low voice from across the room. Natsuki always sounded so sarcastic that it made everyone feel sorry for the poor guy. But Takeda was indeed kind of an idiot when it came to girls. Although he was really sweet, he just didn't have much dignity.

While the footsteps slowly came closer Akane, Tate and Reito were already continuing the talk. Only Takeda and Shizuru seemed to wait for the biker-girl to arrive safely. Suddenly feeling very silly, Shizuru quickly joined the conversation in hopes of distracting her mind. It was hard enough that Natsuki occupied her brain when she wasn't around but doing so while in the same room made Shizuru feel like a creep. A heat suddenly brushed the air around her and a second later Natsuki took the seat on Shizuru's left between Akane and her. It was as if the temperature in the room had been raised just by the mere presence of the raven-haired girl and although Shizuru couldn't see the mesmerizing green eyes, she knew they were focused on her. And even in the darkness she felt her crimson ones silently searching for them. Well, I guess I have to correct myself. Darkness conceals everything but feelings…

The door swung open, allowing some dim light to break the obscurity. A short gaze; a smile, and then it was black again. From what Shizuru saw, Natsuki looked gorgeous. She really wished she could have enjoyed the view longer, but at least she was lucky enough to spend the evening next to the biker girl.

"Dinner is ready." Mai said jubilantly as she started to put the plates in front of everyone.

"So what is it?" Takeda asked from across the table. Shizuru could almost imagine his skeptical face.

"You're missing the point here." came the chuckled response from Tate. "Dinner in the dark is about not knowing what you eat."

"Sounds like food poisoning if you ask me." He joked silently towards Reito, who instantly used the chance to tease his best friend.

"Aw, that's not very polite of you." He said, clearly audible for Mai and all the other to hear.

"Thanks for being discrete, pal." The spiky-head said in defeat. Reito nudged his shoulder for letting him know that he was just making fun, and Takeda knew him long enough to deal easily with such situations. He was used to be the dorky one, and to be honest he didn't mind. Reito was completely another caliber.

"It smells delicious, Mai. I'm sure it's great as always." His voice came out in the sweetest tone, and he waited patiently for a reaction that never came, at least not from the expected person. He had thought that Shizuru would discreetly kick him under the table, but there was nothing. Not a sigh, not snippy comment, just a short silence before a male voice from his right was slightly attacking him.

"Yeah, you eat her food so often to be the best judge here…" Tate mumbled sarcastically, knowing that the words would find its way through the lightless room. The atmosphere became a little chilly, and so Mai hurried to save the situation. There was only one way to turn this thing around…alcohol.

"Who wants wine?"

Everyone's head in the room snapped around in joy. Sadly, Mai was the only one who was able to see them, and she had to admit it looked ridiculously funny. She hurried to fill the glasses, and sat down on the table.

"Time for you to go blind with us." Tate said as he tried to take her night-vision goggles off.

"You know, that's not even close to my eyes." Mai said in a way too flattered voice.

"I know but it's still nice." came the whispered response just before Kazuya winced in a slightly annoyed way. "Oh please, go get a room. Can we just start eating?"

The wild discussion about what they were actually eating was probably the funniest thing Shizuru had heard in weeks. Her life had become so dramatic lately that she had almost forgotten how much fun it was to be with her friends. She was pretty sure it was some kind of Italian food but it was hard to make out with just her mouth. It tasted very good though. Therefore, no need for any complaints. Everyone was pretty stuffed, and the third bottle of wine was about to be opened when Mai jumped to take care of the dishes. Meanwhile, Takeda was occupied with the task of opening the next bottle, but the missing light was not helping him at all. Just when he was about to gather all his strength for pulling the cork completely out, the wine slipped from his hands. A thud followed by a girlish cry and an annoyed huff made clear that the bottle was officially opened.

"Everyone alive?" He asked, trying to save the situation.

"Idiot!" came the angry reply from across the table.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It was too slippery and the darkness left no chance to prevent the bottle from tipping over."

"Don't worry it's only red wine." Unable to hide the sarcasm in her voice, Natsuki couldn't help but make Takeda feel even worse for his mishap.

"My my, don't be too hard on Takeda. I'm sure he was only trying to be nice in opening the next bottle for you ladies."

"Well, even if it was all with good intensions my clothes are ruined." The angry girl sure was pissed about the incident.

"Lucky then that nobody can see the mess." Shizuru said, trying to calm down a very pissed Natsuki.

"Okay, I get it. Still, would you at least tell me where I attempt to try to take care of the mess?"

"Sure, the bathroom is down the hall. It also has light by the way." Akane replied quickly, not wanting to prolong the unfortunate situation.

"Thank you." came the grumbled response before Natsuki left the table without saying another word. Shizuru was quite stunned that the girl had been so observant before because the footsteps were clearly going into the direction of the door without seeing it. "Wait, I'll come with you. Even if it's dark, I don't like to sit here in wet clothes."

When Shizuru and Natsuki had left the room, Takeda sighed heavily.

"Lucky you Takeda, making two girls wet at once." Mai could almost imagine Tate's silly face over his childish comment, and didn't waste a second before punching his shoulder as hard as she could.

"Ouch!" He winced but didn't complain any further. He knew he wouldn't get away with that comment without scolding, but getting (in that case) low-fived under the table by Kazuya was worth the trouble.

Reito could sense the discomfort of his best friend, and tried to ease the situation a little. "Don't worry, pal. Shizuru will tame her for you."

"Hopefully." Takeda said with a sigh. He just had a thing for acting silly about the girl of his dreams.

When the two girls entered the bathroom, they went blind again as the light seemed so bright after seeing nothing for almost an hour. After Shizuru had blinked twice, she slowly started to see the outlines of the raven-haired girl who was already standing in front of the mirror. Her upper body was bent over the sink in an attempt to get out the dark stains from her light blue top. The raven-haired girl soon noticed the crimson-eyes on her back and focused Shizuru in the mirror without turning around. A smiled graced her lips when she felt the emeralds upon her. She had to admit that she had already missed the grumpy girl.

"You sure were lucky." Natsuki said as she noticed that there were only small dots of wine on Shizuru's light-gray skirt.

"Well, it seems Takeda is a lot more focused on you, which by the way is entirely understandable." Shizuru made a short pause to take in the appearance of Natsuki fully. "You look gorgeous." She finally said, and indeed the girl had also dressed herself up a little. Her tight black jeans matched perfectly with the top and her sneakers.

"So, do you." Natsuki replied while tearing her eyes away.

"Despite the red stains." Shizuru said in a playful voice, knowing that it didn't let her outfit appear sloppy.

"It matches perfectly with your eyes." came the much too sweet seeming response, and Shizuru couldn't help but think of the other girl as being cute. Although 'cute' was usually a word she wouldn't associate with the biker girl at all.

"Ara, is Natsuki flattering me." Shizuru said in a teasing tone.

"No…I mean. I was just stating a fact. You as a painter should know about matching colors." A little blush arose on the cheeks, and thanks to the mirror Shizuru was lucky enough to catch a glimpse of it. Knowing that she would make the angry again if she kept on teasing, she let it go, and instead deepened the thought of the painting comment. "I do. But I have to disappoint you. Red and red are not really the best choice for red and green are complementary colors."

"You're kidding me right?" Not having expected that kind of response, Natsuki wasn't sure if Shizuru was still teasing her or telling the truth. She never really was into arts, so she didn't know for real.

"No, it's basic color theory. They are called complementary because, when placed next to each other, they make each other appear brighter, more intense. The shadow of an object will also contain its complementary color." Shizuru deepened her gaze on Natsuki as if she wanted to seduce her with only her eyes, and when Natsuki slowly turned around to tear down the mirror barrier between her eyes, the chestnut-haired girl couldn't help but moving a step forward. The strange magnetism between them kicked in like a rush, and the normal conversation had heated up within just a handful of words. It seemed as if the tension was still much too high to be contained for too long.

"I really start to like this painting thing." Natsuki said, her voice much lower as she could feel her mind going blank under the stare, and the flashing images of their last painting exercise.

"That would mean that wine only makes your eyes look more intense." Shizuru replied unable to repress the uprising desire.

"It also means that my eyes make look yours brighter." Natsuki whispered before closing the remaining gap between them. She brought her hands up to cup Shizuru's cheeks and let her lips hover above Shizuru's for a split second. The closeness of their bodies already aroused them and they both knew that they would give in again.

Shizuru was ready to let her fuse blow, but the voice of Mai let them both jump away from each other in slight shock. Her lips still tingled under Natsuki hot breath that, sadly, was all she was able to feel upon her lips, but even this was enough to get under her skin. Light goose bumps were all that remained when Mai knocked on the door.

"I'm coming in." Mai said, before entering the bathroom. "I'm sorry to disturb you, but I really need to pee." As neither of them said anything Mai eyed them with suspicion. "Everything alright?" She asked, focusing Shizuru in particular.

The Kyoto-girl needed a second to mask her panic of almost being caught, but after her smile was readjusted, her words were flawless. "Of course. The wine is just a much tougher opponent than she thought."

"I bet, but believe me Takeda's really sorry. So, don't be too hard on him, okay Natsuki?" Her lavender eyes now focusing the raven-haired beauty, who only nodded.

"Good, because we will have a nice little game when I get back and I want everybody to get along." Mai giggled before dragging them out.

Both girls just looked at each other in the dimly lit hall without saying a word before getting back to the rest. The chance of Mai overhearing them seemed too dangerous, and they had already been away for too long.

When they entered the dining room they weren't really noticed by the others which were in heated debate whether to take summer classes next semester or not. Only when they sit down again, Shizuru could hear Takeda apologizing once again.

"Natsuki, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to ruin your outfit. I bet you look stunning like ever, and even if I angered you I doubt that wine could make you even less beautiful."

_What on earth?_ Thankfully the missing light hid the flashing in Shizuru's deep red eyes. She'd probably not admit it to anyone, but she could feel the raging fire of jealousy ignite inside of her. It never occurred to her that she would be jealous of Takeda, but hearing her flattering Natsuki like that gave her the chills. She knew she didn't have any right to be disturbed about it, but she couldn't help the fact that it annoyed her. Of course, the boy was right but still, did he have to be so damn slimy.

"It's alright. I'm sorry for being so harsh on you." The next moment felt like an unbelievable dream to Shizuru, or rather said nightmare. She wasn't completely sure but she thought after Natsuki's reassuring words she heard something that sounded like a kiss but due to the loud chatter of the rest of the group, she wasn't entirely sure. Only when Mai busted back into the room, bringing a dim beam of light with her, the image of Takeda's lips on Natsuki's was visible for a split second. It felt like some sort of surreal scenario since the room was soon covered in complete darkness again, but it was enough for Shizuru to send her train of thoughts on a long spinning ride. Of course, she knew that Natsuki and Takeda had…something, but seeing the serious girl so close to someone other than herself really stung. Only now, she could imagine how Natsuki must feel whenever she was forced to watch Reito and her. Not liking the feeling at all, Shizuru was glad when she heard Takeda's voice again. At least it meant the kiss was over.

The image still lingered in Shizuru's mind while the rest of the group went on with the conversation. Thankfully, nobody could her brooding face as her eyes got lost in the obscurity. Suddenly, Mai's energetic voiced hushed the friends for she loudly announced the plan for the rest of the evening.

"Alight, beloved people. It's time to use the advantages of darkness once again."

"And I here I thought we were doing that already." Kazuya said with a clearly audible grin and got instantly nudged by Akane before getting the low five back from Tate.

"Really, what's wrong with you and Tate today?" Reito chuckled over the rather childish sexual connoted comments.

"Oh come on, pal. Don't tell me you keep your hands to yourself all the time. The darkness sure is way too tempting."

"Well, in fact he does. It seems he's the only real gentleman here." Shizuru's voice sounded a tad angry although it wasn't about the fact that Reito didn't try anything but about a certain spiky-haired boy. Of course, nobody knew it wasn't about the current argument, and so only an 'oohhh' sound came as a response from the boys.

"Gentleman, huh?" Takeda said amused.

"My dear friend, I can honestly say that I'm much more into privacy." Shizuru didn't like the sound of Reito's voice at all, especially how he had pronounced the word 'privacy'. In fact she, didn't mean to rile him up, but it seemed that her words had only fuelled the stupid topic. She only wanted to give a little nudge towards Natsuki for the kiss, but it dawned on her that it wasn't the best idea. Before she could intervene again, Reito continued as if he had to defend himself like a little boy against the other kids. "And last night Shizuru and I had a lot of that." Boys and their stupid showing off. Shizuru really would have wanted to prevent this from happening. Usually, she wouldn't mind, but knowing that Natsuki heard it made her feel sick. Having just experienced the feeling of jealousy herself, she could only imagine how it must make the biker feel to hear that stupid macho-talk. Right now, she wasn't happy about the darkness at all. She wanted to check if the deep green eyes were looking at her, if they were angry or even sad but all there was was blackness. As much as Shizuru had wished for any kind of sign, Natsuki didn't say anything. Not even a huff or sigh. Thankfully, Mai stopped the stupid talk and went on with her original speech.

"Okay kiddos, on with the topic." She said, silencing the rest. "We are going to play hide-and-seek!" Her voice was as joyful as if she had just won the lottery.

"What?", "Huh?", "What are we twelve? Came the instant responses but Mai was quick to further explain her plan.

"Not normal hide-and-seek of course but the special darkness edition. Meaning only the seeker gets a flashlight while the rest hides in the dark house."

"To be honest, this sounds kind of spooky." Shizuru tossed in, indubitably disliking the idea.

"Sounds fine to me." Hearing the harsh, low voice sounding completely emotionless was even scarier to the Kyoto-girl than the idea of that game. Natsuki was pissed for sure, and to be honest, Shizuru couldn't blame her.

"Alright, then I'd say: Let the flashlight chose the hunter." Having said that, Mai suddenly switched on a flashlight that seemed to come out of nowhere but given the darkness everything came out of nowhere. It took a while before their eyes got used to the light that was spinning like a bottle in the middle of the table before it came to stop. The spotlight was clearly on Takeda, which probably meant that he was the chosen one. It also offered Shizuru the chance to look at the raven-haired girl, but Natsuki completely ignored the gaze, avoiding any eye-contact.

"Alright, Takeda you're it. You have to wait here until we hide in the mansion." Mai announced proudly.

"Isn't this a bit scary for one to seek alone? I mean it would be a lot more fun if there were two of us. Natsuki and me for example." Takeda almost sounded like lost kid, but Mai didn't show mercy.

"Hah, you wish. Sorry, you're on your own. I didn't make the rules. Well, to tell the truth I did. But rules are rules."

"Fine." Takeda grumbled as he took the flashlight. Everyone else left the room to search the house for good hiding places, which was a rather difficult task with the lights now completely out. Nobody really spoke a word and so they were soon scattered in the hugeness of the villa.

Shizuru had lost sight of Reito as soon as they got out into the barely lit hall, but she wouldn't have followed him anyway. Her whole attention was focused on a certain green-eyed girl. She couldn't let Natsuki get away in such an angry state. She felt the need to explain herself although she didn't know how she could possibly make it clear that she didn't mean to hurt her. _I don't think it's appropriate to be sorry for being intimate with my boyfriend but still it feels like I shouldn't have…_

However, the raven-haired girl wasn't up to much talking as she quickly disappeared around the next corner, hiding herself in the shelter of night. Shizuru had not yet a real plan how to find her but knew this was her best chance because everyone was busy with themselves. She walked down the corridor on the right, while silently whispering the raven-haired girl's name.

"Natsuki…" Her voice got louder when there was no answer for quite a while. "Na…" Just when she had decided to screw the whispering, she was silenced by a hand over her mouth. Her whole body stiffened under the contact, stopping her breathing completely for a couple of seconds.

"Are trying to hand me over to Takeda, or what is your problem?" Angry as before, Natsuki's voice was unmistakable even in the darkness. Shizuru couldn't even move a finger as she had almost died out of shock. She wasn't prepared for being snuck up from behind, but now that she realized it was only Natsuki, she started to relax again.

"You scared me to death…and no, I don't want to hand you over to Takeda." _In no possible way…_

"Uh-huh…" Natsuki whispered sarcastically, and Shizuru was now sure that the conversation from the boys earlier didn't go unnoticed. Sadly, she hadn't the chance to explain herself as they saw the beam of the flashlight around the corner.

"Shit." Natsuki whispered as silent as possible and dragged Shizuru forward. Having at least some kind of luck, they found a door on the right side of the hallway in which they silently disappeared.

Waiting next to the door, Shizuru's heart was beating not only because of the excitement about the game. The closeness to Natsuki, compared with darkness and being sought was somehow completely adventurous and she had to admit she liked the adrenaline rushing through her body. They both knew they couldn't effort to make a sound right now, which made the whole tension thing between them a lot more complicated with Natsuki standing so close behind the chestnut-haired girl. Shizuru could feel the warm breath on her neck that gave her a hard time not turn around, but she knew that she would be turned down for Natsuki was still pissed. When the light was visible under the door, they both held their breaths. They could hear Takeda's footsteps in the hallway, and although they both knew it was only a game and that it was only the goofy boy out there, it was kind of scary. When the flashlight changed directions and the footsteps got farther away the both exhaled in union.

Shizuru could feel that Natsuki was about to break free from their position, but she was not ready to let the girl get away without explaining.

"Natsuki, wait. I'd like to talk to you about earlier." She whispered, not sure if Takeda was still in hearing distance.

"Is there really anything to be talked about?" Natsuki spoke so silent it was almost inaudible.

"Well, I don't know about you but I didn't really enjoy Takeda complimenting on you like a maniac, before doing who knows what under the screen of night."

"No, I'm sure you didn't. After all, you're more into 'privacy'…" Even though it was a whisper, it sounded icy. Shizuru fell silent, and Natsuki knew that it was due to her subtle comment. "Are you really trying to tell me that you blame me for kissing Takeda when you jump from my bed into Reito's?"

"I…Listen, it's not what you think. I didn't want to. It just happened." It was hard to control her voice over such an emotional topic and the missing light didn't make it any better. She could only see the frame of Natsuki's body and her magnificent eyes, which couldn't be concealed even by obscurity.

"Things like that don't happen. But if they do in your world, I guess I was just another mishap." The serious girl had really rebuilt all her cracked walls. It was impossible to get through to her at the moment.

"Don't say something like that. It's not true. Look, I'm sorry for being jealous about the kiss. I know I have no right to. It's just… I don't know. You and him… looked so wrong."

"So, how does it look right?"

"I don't know." It was the truth. For now, she didn't know if it would look right to be at Natsuki's side, although in her mind it was much better than imagining or seeing her with somebody else.

"Thought so." Natsuki paused, and Shizuru didn't know what to add either. After a long moment of just staring at each other, Natsuki sighed before continuing. " You know, I am just not into that whole double-track thing. If you want to be with Reito than be."

"I don't know what I want."

"Then you better find out soon 'cause I'm not going to stick around much longer." The iciness was now replaced by anger, and whispers became sounds, heating up the conversation.

"How can you be so easy-going on that? Reito means something to me. He had once meant everything. I can't just run off into the sunset with you." Shizuru also couldn't really conceal her rising frustration in whispers anymore.

"You could, but you don't dare. That's your problem."

"What about Takeda? Don't you feel bad for leading him on? I think he is madly in love with you."

"I'm giving him what I am able to give and he takes the little he can get. It might not be fair, but why turn him down and break his heart for someone who doesn't know what they want." The words felt like daggers to the Kyoto-girl, but what could she possibly say. Natsuki was right, and there was nothing Shizuru could say that would justify her behavior. She was the one who had to change something, but she felt petrified. Natsuki could see the hurt in the deep red eyes that looked even more dangerous in the dim room. "Geez, I'm just sick of knowing that you are still sleeping with Reito. I thought the night in the planetarium had changed something."

"It has!" As much as Shizuru's voice wanted to convince the other girl, words weren't enough.

"Don't give me that bullshit when you just came back from spending the night with Reito." Again, Natsuki was right, and Shizuru knew it. However, she was too proud and hurt to admit her wrongs. She felt like fighting back, although she knew she was wrong.

"He is my boyfriend for god's sake. You have one too, remember?" The crimson-eyed girl could feel this discussion getting out of hand, and she didn't like where it was going. She didn't want to fight with Natsuki. Nothing would come out that talk except for both of them hurting each other, but somehow she couldn't stop herself. It felt strangely good to free some of her bottled -p feelings.

"But I don't sleep with him, making him think that everything's perfect." Natsuki's words were just as sharp, her eyes dangerously glistening.

"Well, maybe you should!" The following silence resonated in Shizuru's ear like a huge thunder. She knew she had gone too far. Again. "Natsuki…I'm sorry. I guess I'm just angry with myself because I'm such a coward." Her voice was soft again, but it was too late. Natsuki' emotions already froze over after hearing that last sentence.

"Don't be. Maybe I am just not what you're looking for." It sounded like a realization, but Shizuru didn't want to think of it as the truth.

"I am deeply sorry. I'm a mess, and I know that I'm being unfair and harsh. My life was practically written in stone before I met you, and suddenly it all comes tumbling down. How am I supposed to deal with something like that so easily?" The Kyoto-ben made the broken voice sound even more fragile, but it didn't help to melt down the shield either.

"As I said, you don't have to. If you can't make a decision, I will." Natsuki's voice and face remained indifferent.

"I wish I could simply drop my feelings like that but I guess there's always one who falls harder." Shizuru was about to give in under the coldness of her opposite when somehow Natsuki's spirit came back to life.

"And you think it's you?" The anger was back, which wasn't particularly good, but better than ambivalent. Not quite knowing why Natsuki would question the obvious, Shizuru tried to make her stand clear one more time.

"Look at me! I am standing right in front of you pouring my heart out while my boyfriend is clueless somewhere out there, probably waiting for me to find him." The thought of Reito being somewhere close was suffocating, but it wasn't enough to stop her from declaring her feelings towards someone else. It scared her but it seemed like an unspoken truth, too.

"Then you better go back before he gets suspicious." The sarcasm was back in the husky voice, and Shizuru was sick of running against a wall.

"Fine." She said, making herself ready to leave as she felt tears stirring up in her eyes.

"What? What do you want me to say?" The coldness and anger of the other girl made her furious. Why on earth was Natsuki so unfair? Shizuru knew, the girl had every right to be, but actually experiencing it was something different.

"I don't fucking know!" A bit shocked by her choice of words, Shizuru sighed loudly. She couldn't believe what kind of feelings the raven-haired girl was able to provoke in her.

"Why are you so angry?" came the slightly softer response.

"Because I hate to want you. I hate that I am thinking of you when I kiss him!" She wasn't afraid of making a fool of herself anymore. She had done that already. Her voice was about to crack, but what use was there in concealing the obvious now?

"You do?" Natsuki's voice had changed completely. It sounded like a different person, but Shizuru didn't mind. She liked the soft side of the serious girl just as much as the rough and farouche side. When Shizuru didn't answer the mostly rhetorical question, Natsuki spoke again. "I'm sorry." She said, feeling a bit guilty for being so hard on the Kyoto-born.

"Don't be. It's not your fault. It's mine." Her voice was back in control, but it didn't mean that she didn't feel the burden anymore. It really felt like she was the one to blame for the chaos.

"Feelings are nobody's fault. Things like this happen." Natsuki wanted to reach out, wanted to bridge the distance between them that their words had created, but she didn't dare. So, she waited for any sign of Shizuru. And it came, although it wasn't the one she was hoping for.

"I can't let them happen." Her voice was barely more than a whisper, and so was Natsuki's. "Then don't."

"It's not that easy and you know it. I don't know what to do." It was as if they were riding on a carousel. There didn't seem to be a proper solution even when everything sounded so simple, it just wasn't.

"It's not about what you do but about what you don't do." The raven-haired girl had a hard time controlling her emotions along with her voice. She had been clear more than once, and what good would it do if she had to convince somebody to choose herself instead of the perfect male role model.

"This is really just me imagining, right?" The words from Shizuru sounded so surreal to the raven-haired girl that she could only wonder.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you. You stand there, trying to rationalize everything and I am standing here like love's fool." Not knowing that she was completely misinterpreting Natsuki's reaction, Shizuru felt even more stupid for getting so affected.

"It's not easy for me either." Natsuki averted her eyes for the first time, focusing the floor instead of the intense gaze of Shizuru. She could only stand to look at the breathtaking girl for so long before she felt the need to pull her into a kiss, and she knew she wasn't the one who should be initiating such action. She had made a fool of herself often enough.

"But?" Shizuru tried to make eye-contact with her opposite again, but Natsuki kept starring into nothingness.

"There is no 'but'." Not sure, if she wanted to convince herself or Shizuru, the biker didn't dare to move an inch when she noticed the other girl getting closer.

"Believe me…there are a lot of 'buts'…" The Kyoto-ben seemed to echo through her ear canal more than once. Still, she held her breaths waiting for the next move of the crimson-eyed girl, which followed instantly. "For example, I don't want to hurt Reito…but I will." Shizuru made one more step forward, and was now only inches away. "Because for every second I linger burns me to your side..." She slowly reached out to tug a strand of black hair behind Natsuki's ear. The action caused the serious girl to once more lock her eyes with the taller girl. "But I also can't tear myself away from these magnificent green eyes of yours that seem to look right through me…" Shizuru leaned forward, and Natsuki closed her eyes almost out of reflex while Shizuru plastered a soft kiss on the eyelids of the paralyzed girl. "I can't stay away from those cheeks that silently love to be teased by me…" Another kiss on the slightly warm cheeks followed shortly after. "And especially, I cannot stay away from these lips that send shivers down my spine and make my heart flutter every time they softly caress mine." The words were a mere whisper. Nothing more than a little breeze on a hot summer day, but it was enough to ignite a fire that was able to burn down paradise. Without a second thought, Natsuki's head shot up, closing the last remaining distance between them and getting them both caught in a fiery kiss. It was a wild mixture of sadness, anger, longing and passion but felt incredibly right. Nothing seemed to matter as they got entirely lost in the moment. They only broke away from each other for some air before their lips clashed together again. Another heated breath was inhaled from the Kyoto-girl as her tongue slowly caressed Natsuki's bottom lip. Every noise sounded so far away as if they were captured in a dream. The only thing they could hear was their heartbeats. At least until a loud bang, followed by a strong beam of light broke their reverie.

"Gotcha!" A male voice shouted triumphantly while blinding them with the flashlight. Their eyes weren't able to accommodate to the brightness but they both recognized the distinctive voice in the same second as they broke lip contact.

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><p><strong>AN: **It's been awhile. I am sorry this took so long, but life gets in the way ever so often lately. I also have a new beta (who will probably kill me now because I posted this without permission...mercy please). Writing and editing certainly takes some time, but finally here it is. My exams are over and I hope the next chapter will be out much sooner. I missed you guys and hope to hear your opinions, rants and cheers. Two more chapters to go.


	16. Quietness

"_**I guess darkness serves a purpose: to show us that there is redemption through chaos."**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**_**  
><strong>_

****Disclaimer: I don't own the Characters. Sunrise does.****

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><p><strong>Chapter 16 – Quietness<strong>

The bright cone of light from the torch was still glued on them for what seemed like an eternity. _'Gotcha' indeed…_Shizuru thought while she started to struggle free from the entwined position she and Natsuki were in. A low clicking sound resonated as the brightness finally died away under Takeda's hands. Being left in dark layers, the three figures stood perfectly still, but even the shadows couldn't conceal what was so obviously disturbing the silence. The supposedly victorious call from the boy still seemed to echo in the quietness of the villa. Shizuru wasn't sure though, if it maybe was only in the quietness of her head. Scanning the blackness around her, she was afraid of not being able to see the boy's face, but she was also relieved at the same time. There was no way she could talk herself out of the situation, at least this she was sure of.

"Wh… what is going on here?" The disbelief in Takeda's voice was so clearly audible that Shizuru's heart started hammering in fear. Only slowly, the realization that she had been caught kissing a girl, while being in a relationship, sank in. To make things worse it was not only a girl, but it was Takeda's girl. She had betrayed everyone, even herself, and now she had to face the consequences. The boy was Reito's best friend. There was no way he wouldn't tell him, but what then? She didn't want Reito to find out about her actions like that. She had to try and talk to Takeda to convince him that she would sort things out herself.

"Takeda, listen…" Shizuru started, but was instantly cut off.

"Were you just kissing her?" It didn't sound like a question at all, and for some reason Shizuru knew he wasn't expecting an answer for he already had seen it very well.

"It's not what you think it is." _And this just sounds so wrong…_ As expected a huffing could be heard from behind followed by a mumble. "Good to know." Probably, only Shizuru had been able to hear the comment, but it didn't help to solve the situation at all. If there was anything left to solve.

"Please, just let me explain this." She went on, ignoring Natsuki's displeasure about her earlier statement.

"What? What do you want to explain? That the two of you are fooling Reito and me all along? How long has this been going on? Does Reito know about any of this at all?" It wasn't rage. It was hurt and desperation. The same things she dreaded most when she thought about telling Reito.

"I was about to talk to him, but…"Shizuru's voice cracked.

"But? He is so worried about your relationship all the time. He's trying everything to make it work again, and what are you doing? Cheating behind his back… and mine, too. Not that it would matter to you anyway." She couldn't blame him for being so resentful. He had every right to, but still it stung to be directly confronted with the pain she was inflicting.

"I didn't mean to. Takeda, I am so sorry." Her voice was still shaky. It had lost its dignity and calmness due to the revelation. Despite the missing light, it was clearly audible that the boy was nervously shifting from one foot to the other. "So, what is it then? Are you in love with each other or what?"

"No, it's…" Cutting herself off, Shizuru already regretted her words. She really should do a lot more thinking before speaking, especially given the fact that Natsuki was still silently standing behind her. "Listen, I know I have to face Reito and talk to him. Our relationship can't go on like this." She knew the answer wouldn't please the raven-haired girl, but what else should she say to Takeda? It would only do more damage.

"And you!" Takeda said, suddenly addressing Natsuki. "You were playing with me right from the start, weren't you?"

Shizuru could only imagine that he was accusingly pointing his index finger at Natsuki into the darkness.

"I wasn't." Natsuki said in a low tone. Shizuru didn't know if it was regret or just guilt but it was very unusual for the tough girl.

"But you don't love me..." was the weak response that nearly broke Shizuru's heart. For the first time, the extent of what they were doing hit her completely.

"Love is a big word." For some reason, Natsuki's voice seemed a lot more certain than her own. Listening to the regular breathing behind her, she couldn't help but wonder how the raven-haired beauty could be so composed. Shizuru felt like her whole world was collapsing around her, while Natsuki stood there unmoved like a rock. When nobody was filling the silence, the serious girl finally tried to ease Takeda's mind a bit. "You do matter to me." It was an attempt, Shizuru thought. Although she knew it wouldn't really help him at all. She was sure that Natsuki had no bad intentions but they've surely made some very wrong choices.

"A big word you say…I see, but it seems sometimes it's not big enough." He was completely beaten and didn't even try to hide it. The Kyoto-woman knew she couldn't do anything to make him feel better, especially because she was the main reason behind all the trouble. The only thing she could do now was trying to shield Reito from such a cruel way of revelation.

"Takeda? Can you please do me the favor and let me talk to Reito about this." She knew it was rude, but there wasn't much left to say anyway. Things were set in motion and she had to move. It was like a basic survival instinct.

"Whatever." was all the boy managed to say before leaving the girls to themselves again. Shizuru wasn't sure if he'd go straight to Reito and tell him about the crushing experience right away or if he'd give her the chance to clear things up herself. "Damn it. I need to talk to Reito before he does." She hushed into the darkness, speaking more to herself than the raven-haired girl.

"And what are you going to tell him? That it was all a big mistake?" Natsuki's snarled when Shizuru finally turned around again.

"What? No!" She could see the emerald eyes glancing dangerously under her answer, and somehow she couldn't really blame her. It seemed as if Shizuru wasn't able to please anyone in that fight.

"Really? It sounded a tad different a second ago." The biker said, her tone unchanging. Shizuru reached out to cup the cheek of the angry girl, who instantly took a step backwards to avoid the body contact. The Kyoto-woman couldn't help but think that Natsuki somehow reminded her of a wounded animal. _I guess wolves like to lick their wounds in private._

"What did you expect me to say?" She said in a calm and loving voice after retracing her hand. The hope that her tone would have a soothing effect on her upset opposite was futile though.

"The truth!"

Shizuru took in a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second as if she needed to block out the current tension. "Did you want me to break his heart completely?" Trying to sound reasonable, she had to admit that she could somehow understand Natsuki's reaction.

"We've done this already! Your problem is that you don't know what the truth is." With hands clenched into fists, the emerald-eyed girl glared at her.

"And you do?" Shizuru raised her brow in amazement when Natsuki took a defensive position by crossing her arms. The gesture alone served as an answer and so Shizuru continued although she wasn't sure if she really wanted to know. "Good, then please enlighten me."

"You're too scared for any of this and I am done waiting." Without hesitating, Natsuki threw the response at her. It was clear that she was dying to have this talk, but Shizuru didn't feel like being insulted twice after she had just finished the conversation with Takeda. _First she let me handle all the odds of the current and now she's insulting me, too! How dare she? _Shizuru could feel the rage inside of her chest swirl. Deep down she knew it wasn't directed towards the raven-haired girl, but herself. Still, she couldn't stop it from breaking free. Her nerves were thin and stressed, ready to lash out on everyone. "Well, fine! Then you better hurry to do some damage control with Takeda!" She wanted to apologize but there was no need to since the expected reaction from Natsuki never came. There was no hurt glance or silent acceptation but a direct furious counter-attack. "Same to you. I am dying to hear about how you avoid talking turkey with Reito this time." After being speechless for a second, the chestnut-haired girl quickly tried to find her voice again. "You'd know how difficult this is if you would have given Takeda a real chance instead of just leading him on!"

"Leading him on?" The disbelief in her voice was only audible for a second before anger took its place again "Well, I suppose I should listen to someone who has mastered that art." Natsuki's last words were so deadly that Shizuru's jaw hung open. She thought very hard of something to say, something meaningful but nothing came to her blank mind. Luckily, the brooding silence was cut by a click that instantly illuminated the room. After blinking twice, the crimson eyes had adjusted to the brightness, immediately scanning the corners and the door for any evidence of other people but there were none. Figuring that the light has been switched on automatically in the whole villa, Shizuru walked to the door to check the hallway. A glance at the empty corridor made clear that the game was over. She could already hear the voices of Mai and Tate around the corner. With one last glance at Shizuru, Natsuki left the room wordlessly. There was nothing left to say at the moment. This became even more certain as she was faced with that glance full of raging emotion before she went after Natsuki into the hallway. It was no use talking to the raven-haired girl when she was that angry. She knew the girl needed to calm down first and she also knew she would have to face Reito first. Without that crucial talk, there would be no basis of discussion for her and Natsuki anyway.

After Mai and Tate had briefly informed her that the party was over because Takeda felt sick, Shizuru was quick to look for Reito. She inwardly panicked that Takeda might have filled him in or even worse, that Reito would take him home. When she arrived in the dining hall, Reito was sitting at the table though.

"Reito, I need to talk to you. Can we leave?" Shizuru couldn't hide the seriousness in her voice, and somehow she was glad._ It wouldn't be helpful at all to make him believe it's nothing important, right?_ Trying to calm herself down, she nervously started to fumble with the cuff of her blouse. Reito turned around with a smile, which lessened a bit when he saw the nervous state Shizuru was in.

"I'd say no problem but I have to stay at my parents tonight. I promised to visit them after dinner, remember? My father has some important business talk." Shizuru couldn't remember such an appointment. Furthermore, she couldn't afford any more delays. She had to get this over with.

"This really can't wait." Her tone was insisting but so was Reito's.

"It has to. I'll listen to you tomorrow, okay?" Locking her eyes with his amber ones, she didn't have the strength to fight over it right now. Her head was still occupied with the fight with Natsuki and the face-off with Takeda earlier. Maybe it was too much for one night. Maybe a little sleep before the big talk would do some good. Or maybe it's just another act of cowardice… She had to admit that she'd come to a point where she didn't know who she was really deceiving. Somehow it seemed like mostly herself.

"Okay…" She turned around and walked towards the door again as the boy jumped from the chair. "Come on, I'll at least take you home." He offered with his hand stretched out towards her. When Shizuru didn't take it, he slowly drew it back with a questioning look. "No, I want to take a walk for a bit." came the voice with the thick Kyoto-accent.

"Fine. But be careful, will you?" His voice was soft but also a tad distant.

"Always…"Shizuru was expecting him to give her goodbye-kiss. But it never came and so she just breathed a short 'bye' before she finally left, not bothering to bid goodbye to the others.

When she walked out the door, Natsuki's bike was nowhere to be seen. The crimson-eyed woman already regretted letting the biker go home like that. _One shouldn't drive angry…I can't just leave things like that, can I? I need to talk to her._ Determined to at least calm the waves with Natsuki, Shizuru took the next available cab to get as fast as possible to Natsuki's house. She had only been there once, but the memories of that one time were enough to bring a small smile to her lips despite tonight's events. After paying the cab driver, she hurried to get over to the door. When the knocking was unanswered for the third time, the Kyoto-girl started dialing Natsuki's number in worried anticipation. The beeping on the other end of the line made clear that either the biker didn't want to continue the conversation or that something might have happened. The idea of freaking out about uncertain facts somehow scared the chestnut-haired woman, and so she did her best to keep calm while she started to walk to the next bus station. _Great idea, spending my entire money to get here…_ A quick look at the schedule showed her that she had a long night ahead. The next bus would not come here until early morning. Thankfully, it was warm outside and therefore, she wouldn't freeze to death. Still, she would have preferred her bed. At least Natsuki's house was in eyesight, providing her the chance to see when the girl got home. _If she gets home…_

The hours ticked away without any sign of the raven-haired girl, and Shizuru had a hard fight with her paranoia throughout the countless episodes of slumbering. As the bus finally arrived at the station, she could barely keep her eyes open. The hours didn't appear too long for her mind was occupied with playing through different sequences of talking to Reito, Natsuki and even Takeda. In fact, the night wasn't even long enough to come to another big topic that was labeled 'friends and parents'. Dreading the unknown, she decided to get some rest before she would freak out and call Natsuki like a lunatic.

When Shizuru awoke after a mere four-hour sleep, she felt disoriented at first. Her bedroom looked foreign due to the veiled light seeping through the curtains. Thankfully, the soft blinking green dot of her cell phone helped her getting over the confusion quickly. She fiercely grabbed the device and read the message.

'Hope it wasn't too bad.' The message catalyzed the rush of all the atrabilious thoughts back in her brain before they made her heart heavy again. Nothing was solved. Nothing outside of Natsuki still being alive, which was at least something. Furious about the brusque message, Shizuru dialed the number with a wild beating heart. Her nerves were on the edge, and sure enough it was her fault, but the raven-haired girl wasn't really a big help at all.

'Hello?' Shizuru practically spat when the phone was finally answered for the first time after last night.

'Hey' Natsuki was as unreadable and one-syllabically as ever, leaving Shizuru to the static of the line.

'Where have you been the whole night?' Knowing that it might sound way too aggressive and accusative, Shizuru unintentionally bit her tongue afterwards. She could hear the other girl breathing through the telephone but decided that it would be better to wait for a response before spitting even more venom. She had no right to act that way but she also couldn't help it. Channeling her emotion had become hard to handle lately.

'Doing damage control just like you told me to.'

'You were with Takeda?' She didn't know why but somehow she hadn't expected such an answer, let alone thought of the opportunity of Natsuki spending the whole night with the poor boy.

'Would you open the door? I'm in front of your apartment anyways.' The chestnut-haired girl was baffled, but somehow she was also glad that she got the chance to talk to Natsuki in person. She hated discussing things with electric devices. Flipping the phone shut, she hurriedly put on a shirt and a boxer short before stamping over to the door. _Why was she with Takeda the whole night?_

When she opened the door, her defense mechanisms sharpened, but the stunning emerald eyes stared her rage down in an instant. She felt the urge to lunch forward to take Natsuki in her arms but she just stood still, staring back. After another second ticked away, she gestured her to come in, which Natsuki eventually did. She walked into the living room as if she was automatically drawn there, and Shizuru followed. Gazing at the back of her guest, the crimson-eyed girl slightly blushed as she remembered their last time together in that room. Her easel still displayed the image that very much resembled Natsuki. When the girl finally turned around, Shizuru had already fought down the hotness in her cheeks.

"You look tired." She finally managed to say. A response never came though, and so she went on. "So, you've been at Takeda's the whole night?" The mimic of the biker darkened under Shizuru's slightly annoyed voice. She didn't mean to sound that way but she was distressed. Thinking of Natsuki spending the night with Takeda didn't help much either.

"Well, you were with Reito, weren't you?" The biker countered instead of answering. By crossing her arms, Natsuki made clear that she wasn't here for chit-chat.

"No. I was in front of your house waiting for you."

"So, you still haven't talked to him?" Somehow Natsuki's attitude had managed to turn the conversation around, although Shizuru had felt a lot safer being in the accusative position.

"It's not what you think. He didn't have time last night, so…"

"Yeah…" Natsuki's sarcastic response cut Shizuru off before she could explain herself properly.

"I will talk to him, don't worry." She added in the hopes of calming the waves a little, but Natsuki's whole posture screamed displeasure.

"Sure…" The deep voice had become a mixture of indifference and annoyance. Her arms were still crossed while her fingers were impatiently drumming on her leather jacket. She brushed back her hair with a swing of her hand, but still didn't bother to look directly at Shizuru. Her eyes were drifting through the room as if she didn't want to talk to the Kyoto-girl any longer.

"Would you stop being such a gloomster?" Shizuru finally said, hoping that Natsuki would stop acting so stubborn. She could see the tensed girl relaxing a little bit. So, she continued speaking as she didn't want the conversation to die away completely. "How did you manage things with Takeda anyway? How is he?"

"Not too good." Letting out a sigh, the raven-haired girl let her arms fall to her sides.

"What did you tell him?" Shizuru took one step forward, while waiting for an answer. Hence the less dangerous posture of her opposite, she felt a lot safer now.

"We haven't talked much." Natsuki said at last.

"What did you do the whole night then?" Speaking before thinking, Shizuru covered her mouth with her right hand in shock. "Wait… No…" She whispered over the sudden realization. _That's why she's been all angry and defensive._

"I thought that's what you wanted me to do." Natsuki sounded like a little child who's got scolded, and in fact, that was what the chestnut-haired girl would love to do.

"No… I" Shizuru said with watery eyes. Her nerves were too thin for such things today. Although, the day might not be the reason as it was rather the fact that stung. "Was it…" She had a hard time breathing regularly. "How was it?" Her voice was cracked, but right now she couldn't care less how composed or not composed she sounded.

"Nothing like it feels with you." Natsuki sounded just as broken before continuing. "Besides, he broke up with me afterwards. He said it's too obvious I am not in love with him and he won't stand in my way…" Shizuru didn't know what to reply. On the one hand, she was glad this thing between Natsuki and Takeda was over but on the other she felt really sorry for the boy. The silence seemed to become louder than their breathing and suddenly the raven-haired girl reached out to touch Shizuru's arm. It was a small gesture, but it was enough to release some of the bottled-up tears. "How has if felt with Reito last time?" The girl continued before taking her arm back. "Wait I don't wanna know. I don't even want to think of it. It makes me sick." She braced herself for an answer, but Shizuru couldn't do or endure any more harm.

"You're jealous, aren't you?" She said, still lightly sobbing but on a good way to fight back the tears.

"Would it matter?" Her opposite stammered nervously. Shizuru took another deep breath, ready to release some her feelings. "I was an empty shell before you came here. There was a huge black hole in my chest that I didn't even know existed and it was filled up by you… filled up with you…" She locked her eyes with the emerald orbs and breathed out the next words carefully. "It's just hard." Instantly, Natsuki's gaze dropped back to the floor.

"It's not. If you don't want to be with me, I can understand. I know it would complicate your life. But then stop being such a coward and just tell me to leave, and I will." Her voice was serious and cold again, as if a switch has been flipped. It nearly broke Shizuru's heart and she could feel the knot in her throat tighten again.

"I don't know… it's not just Reito. It's everything. My friends, my parents…" Shizuru knew there was no need to explain her situation. Still, she wanted to justify her doubts, but somehow she really hadn't many reasons left that kept her from finally finding a solution.

"Do you really care so much for all of this? What about your heart?" The emerald eyes were back on her, swirling with emotions. With a dry mouth, Shizuru gulped lightly under the questions. She could feel her defense-mechanism kick in and immediately knew nothing good would come out of this reaction.

"It sure must be easy for you to say such things! You don't have anything to lose!" _Shoot!_ As soon as the words came out, she regretted each one of it. "I didn't mean to…" Trying to apologize, Shizuru held in as she got lost in the endless green of Natsuki's eyes. It was too late. The damage was done and there was nothing she could do to take it back. Natsuki had heard her clearly and Shizuru couldn't shake off the broken look in the girl's eyes the moment she had slapped her with those words. She knew Natsuki must be furious but the only thing Shizuru was able to decipher was hurt. She waited for some kind of reaction, but the quietness laid itself upon them like a veil. Silence was never a good thing, especially not when she could practically see the emotions boiling under the girls skin. Usually, the biker was one to make room for her anger, but this time the Kyoto-girl might have really screwed up. They were still quietly starring at each other though Shizuru was screaming apologies in all possible ways inside of her head, trying to deliver them to her opposite with her eyes only, and Natsuki surely got the message for her gaze softened a little. It was more than the chestnut-haired girl had hoped for. She knew, once said, it was that kind of thing you won't forget. Even if it wasn't meant as harsh as it sounded, some utterances would be remembered forever and Shizuru knew this had been one of them. After what felt like an eternity, Natsuki found the strength to gather some words.

"You know what's the saddest thing about this is?" Natsuki voice was calm though she couldn't fully hide the resentment. She sighed and closed her eyes as she turned her head to the side. A sad smile crossed her lips when she faced Shizuru again after two more seconds of composing herself. "You're right. That's why I am here making a fool of myself… because everything I've got lose is standing right in front of me. I've been here before. I've already lost everything and I'm afraid that I might take your happiness away with my selfishness. That's why I'm fighting every second against the urge to steal you simply away. I don't want to be the reason to shatter your perfect life. I've already stained you enough. But after all, I have put my heart on the line, and I still have my dignity to lose. Just like you. The difference between us was just that I was willing to take the fall along with risk because for me, it was worth it. I just want you to want me. That's all I am asking and have ever asked."

Shizuru couldn't stand still a second longer. Her body moved forward almost automatically and in one fierce movement she had the girl silenced with a kiss. It was painful to see the person you're madly in love suffering because of your personal stupidity and inconsequence. Natsuki deserved better and with every second the kiss lasted and deepened she was surer that she would be the one to make the girl in her arms as happy as she could. Her heart had been secretly whispering this all along but until now Shizuru felt as if she had deafened herself. She had known all the time that she wanted Natsuki. A small smile crossed her lips during the kiss, and somehow even Natsuki smiled into it. When Shizuru finally broke the kiss, she intensely looked into the emerald eyes of her opposite.

"Will you stop talking like this? I've never knew how incomplete I was before I met you. I've always felt only half alive but that was the only thing I knew, and therefore, I didn't mind. But you've changed all that. I didn't even know how thirsty I was for love until I got drunk on your lips. And yes, I am afraid of becoming an addict now."

Natsuki's face lightened up under her words and Shizuru was glad that finally her words seemed to hold some meaning. But just a moment later the sadness was back in the green eyes.

"Don't you believe any of this?" Shizuru said while cupping the cheek of Natsuki.

"I…I wish I could." The girl had her eyes averted once again, and Shizuru didn't like it all. She wanted Natsuki to look at her, to show her that she was stating the truth.

"Do you really think I would tell you these things if they weren't true?" Brushing her fingers lightly over the soft skin Natsuki's cheek, Shizuru was now merely whispering.

"Probably not…"

"So, what's the problem?" Finally, catching Natsuki's gaze again, she wasn't pleased to see the discomfort once more. She gave her a reassuring look, but the biker wasn't satisfied with mere words anymore. She probably wanted for Shizuru to step up finally.

"The problem is, Reito is still your boyfriend while I'm just a big mistake. I want to be more to you than just regret. I want to be your 'everything'." Natsuki's voice was strong and serious which seemed rather strange in comparison to her eyes that looked a lot more fragile at the moment. But Natsuki knew what she wanted and she was certain to fight for it. The longer Shizuru looked into the emerald orbs, the more she wanted just that. She knew what she had to do, and she would do it right away.

"Would you mind leaving me alone?" The question caught Natsuki off-guard and let her shrug back, only to be taken back into a tight embrace. "I will break up with Reito." Shizuru whispered into Natsuki's ear, who now hugged her back just as tightly.

After another long kiss, Natsuki made her way towards the door. Shizuru was standing in the doorframe, waving her goodbye. "Wait for me. I'll come back for you." The Kyoto-girl said with a dreamy gaze. Natsuki turned around once more, responding: "So thrive my soul." With a grin, the girl finally turned around and went down the stairs.

Shizuru remained with a smile. _So thrive my soul, huh?_ The Kyoto-girl wasn't sure if she had told Natsuki that this was one of her favorite quotes from Romeo and Juliet, but she still was impressed. She remembered reading it out to Reito once, but he wasn't too interested in the translation. It was from the famous balcony scene and Shizuru remembered the evening in the theatre when the quote was stated just before Romeo had to leave Juliet after their first meeting. She had silently mouthed the translation that evening, and somehow she found herself doing the same thing while leaning against the wood of the doorframe. _I'll be waiting…_

A cup of calming jasmine tea and a shower later, Shizuru had prepped herself to face Reito. She had invited him over to her place. The reasons were for one thing, to have the security of her home, and for another to give him the chance to leave at any time. The fear that Takeda might have already told him everything was still nagging on her to a point where she had to admit that she wouldn't know how to explain all of it in detail. She had simply planned to break up with him. After all, it wasn't a lie that her feelings had changed. So, why hurting him further by telling him they had changed directions completely. It was bad enough for him anyways.

While straying through her apartment overly nervous, Shizuru crossed the different rooms over and over. She couldn't just sit still. Too many thoughts and memories pulled on her nerves and kept her in motion. The pictures that were scattered over the walls drew her attention more than once and she felt her eyes avoiding the one particular image on her nightstand. It was taken a year ago on their summer vacation. It showed Reito and herself sitting on the shore smiling into the setting sun. At least Shizuru was doing so while Reito had been surprising her with a kiss on the cheek. It was somehow odd and cute to have the usually cool and composed boy act so sweet but it was kind of an untold fact between them that they both had their soft sides.

Suddenly standing still, Shizuru found her gaze fixated on the picture while her mind dove deep into the world of memories. Her head skipped randomly through all the years and moments she had experienced with the boy that was once supposed to marry her. The more she thought about the future plans they had made, the more afraid she became of the fact that she had, somehow, to tell her parents a convincing reason why she would break up with someone like Reito. She could feel her pulse speed up under the overwhelming pressure. _Breathe, Shizuru…Everything will be okay. Somehow…_Reaching out for the picture, she slowly turned it around. _Starring at the past won't help to solve the future in any way. I have to go through with this. Once and for all._ The doorbell rang the way it always did, although nothing else felt that way. _Here it comes…_Shizuru thought to herself before she went to open the door.

As soon as her eyes met Reito's amber one's she knew it would be much harder than she could have ever imagined. Having played through different arguments with Reito in her head was completely different from actually standing right in front of him. For a few seconds, they were just wordlessly starring at each other. The dark haired boy didn't even try to kiss her hello. He just walked in with a small nod and an indescribable look on his face after a while. Shizuru followed him silently into the living room. It seemed that room represented some kind of turning point in her life. After Reito had sat down on the couch, the Kyoto-girl tried to take a somewhat relaxed position across from him. Her gaze was searching the floor for questions and answers she would probably never find before Reito finally broke the unbearable silence.

"So?" He opened the conversation and therefore, giving a clear sign that he expected Shizuru to say something. But the chestnut-haired girl was unsure how to begin for she still didn't know if Takeda had spoken to Reito about his discovery. She tried to push her luck and hoped for the discretion of the spiky head.

"I'm sure you've figured out that I asked you to come over because we need to talk about something."

"And with something you mean us, I suppose."

"Yes. And I need you to hear me out this time." Having said that, Shizuru suddenly didn't have a clue how to explain that she didn't want to be with him anymore, that she wanted to throw away everything they've been through. She took a deep breath and decided that overthinking wouldn't solve anything. Without another second thought, she just spoke what came to her mind. "I've been trying to tell you for some time now that I don't think it's working between us anymore." She was a bit startled that her voice had become a mere whisper when she wanted to act confident and strong. Reito was looking at her blankly as if he had already anticipated her words.

"Because you don't want it to work." He responded just as silently. It was as if none of them believed this kind of conversation between them to be real. It had always been a certain fact that they would remain together. None of them had really thought of living a life without the other. Not necessarily because they were madly in love but because it worked. It all seemed perfect at all times, which somehow still wasn't enough…_ or maybe too much._

"I wanted it to work, believe me." Shizuru said, finally ready to lock her eyes with his.

"Why don't I see you trying then? What have I done wrong?" His tone wasn't friendly anymore. It was a weird mixture of accusing and desperate, both things that didn't fit the character of the boy at all.

"Nothing. It has nothing to do with you at all." It was true. It wasn't anyone's fault. At least, that was what Shizuru had told herself the whole time. Nobody was to blame that she had fallen in love with someone else. When she thought of Natsuki, she suddenly realized that Takeda must have kept quiet since Reito didn't seem to know about her true reason to break up with him.

"What's the problem then? I don't get it!" His voice was becoming louder with every word and who could blame him. It wasn't rational at all, but love is never rational.

"The problem is me or better said my feelings. They've changed." Shizuru had a hard time channeling her emotions. She needed to focus because she didn't want to lose face in front of him. This wasn't the time to be weak for Reito was the one who suffered the most. All of this was her doing and she knew it all too well.

"So, you don't love me anymore? Just like that?" The question caught her completely off-guard. She wasn't prepared to answer something so crucial so soon, but she didn't really have a choice now. He was practically holding a gun to her head.

"It's not 'just like that'." She stammered, a little unsure how to give an adequate respond.

"But you don't love me?" Not ready to let Shizuru get off the hook like that, Reito insisted to get an answer. His voice was still angry, but who could blame him. It sounded completely unreasonable as for him nothing was wrong between them.

"I'm sorry." was the only thing Shizuru managed to say. Her mouth was completely dry. Her body seemed to have sucked up all the liquid to her eyes, but she wouldn't be weak. The boy needed some time to swallow the truth. Despite all the signs, he was still hoping to turn the wheel around once more. This time it seemed to be real, though. His tone changed under the answer Shizuru had given. It was much harder now to control his feelings, knowing that the girl he had planned on spending his life with didn't want him anymore. "I don't want to hear you're sorry. I want to know what has happened to us." He knew hearing the reasons wouldn't help soothe the ache in his chest but he felt like he needed something to hold on to before completely losing his grip on reality.

"Life." The crimson-eyed girl breathed, unable to look at Reito a second longer. Her hands were clenching the couch while Reito tried to control his breathing. "Well, then I don't want this life." He finally said, after some seconds of dreadful silence.

"What's that supposed to mean? Don't talk like that." Shizuru's head snapped up for it sounded like he was about to do something stupid. But she knew the boy was stronger than this, and so she stopped assuming things.

"Are you really expecting me to act all cool on that? You're my life Shizuru. I love you." The words were like razorblades cutting her into pieces. She wanted to scream, to let all the hurt break free, but instead she remained quiet. Light sobs could be heard from the other side of the couch and she was too afraid to look. "I am really so sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen and I have no idea how to explain my feelings to you. But I can't act like everything's fine any longer. I need to stop making you unhappy." Shizuru's words couldn't do any good, she knew this, but not saying anything was just as bad.

"I wasn't unhappy until now." He said in a teary voice. Shizuru couldn't take this any longer. She would either completely break down now or she would end this right here. The only thing she could do was putting up her mask just long enough. It was a chance to make clear that she would go through with it this time.

"Right…Maybe you're right." She said with a voice which was suddenly so loud clear that Reito raised his head to look at her. "I was probably the one who was unhappy. Still, it doesn't change anything."

"Are you really sure about this?" He said, while focusing on her eyes as if he was trying to look right through her.

"I have no choice." But Shizuru wouldn't let her mask crack even a little. She was determined, and not even Reito could see through her facade this time.

"You always have a choice." His words already had the sound of defeat in them and she knew that it would be over soon.

"Fine. Then it's my choice to break up with you."

It was one of the most horrible feelings on earth to sit so close to somebody you once have shared everything with, and suddenly feeling miles away from that person. She could practically feel his heart breaking under her words, but there wasn't anything she could do right now to console him. She wasn't the person who should be there now since she was the reason for his sorrow. Afraid of having to ask Reito to leave the apartment, Shizuru was a little glad as he stood up to storm out of the door as tears had started to break free from his eyes. It was terrifying to see him cry. She couldn't remember one time where he had been crying. Still in shock, Shizuru rushed towards the door as if she wanted to stop him, but he was long gone and after another minute, she knew it was better this way. There was no sense in prolonging the pain for him. She wouldn't take back her words but despite her perception, she didn't feel freed from the heaviness inside her chest. The images of the pain in his eyes flashed through her mind over and over again. Unable to shut them out, Shizuru started trembling. It was as if the world inside of her was collapsing to eventually being born again.

The apartment felt empty after the door had fallen shut, almost as if Reito had taken everything with him that had connected them once. Not able to hold the weight on her shoulders any longer, Shizuru sank down to the floor. The oxygen in her lungs didn't seem to be enough to cover the need for air. The rapid breathing was only interrupted by heavy sobs that culminated in a flood of tears. She had to let it out, to let all the memories go before she would drown in them. It hurt. More than she would have ever thought. Giving up the life you've lived years and years onwards always sounds so pretty and simple in all the songs and movies, but in reality, it wasn't as easy and freeing. Her biggest enemy had always been herself and convincing yourself that you have done the right thing wasn't that painless, especially not when you jump into the unknown. It wasn't even Natsuki she was afraid of. Of course, nobody knows if the person you lose your heart to will hurt you in the end. Still, the most terrifying thing was the uncertainty if Shizuru herself would stay true to the decision she made when she let Reito walk out of her apartment and out of her life.

_So, that's what it feels like to give up everything…_ Sitting on the floor of the corridor, she slowly raised her head and turned her watery eyes towards the window in the living room. The sun stood high up in the sky as her world came crashing down. The canvas on the easel was bathed in the warm rays, letting the colors appear even more beautiful. The figure with dark waving hair was still standing at the edge in a blazing sunset. Her inner storm hadn't reached the world inside of picture. Shizuru kept starring as if it was the last thing to hold on to. _At least, the sun is still shining…_

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><p><strong>AN:** I'm back from my vacation. Sardinia is the most beautiful island in Europe. Okay, for the story...Oh my god, only one Chapter left. With this Chapter I've reached the 100.000 words mark...for the first time. Yay :D There will be some action in the last Chapter. Be prepared. Big thanks to my wonderful beta. Drop me a review if you have time. If not, I hope you enjoyed reading.


	17. Corona

"_**My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep. The more I give thee, the more I have. For both are infinite." ― William Shakespeare**_

**Beta: Ivy Rose Thorn**_**  
><strong>_

****Disclaimer: I don't own the Characters. Sunrise does.****

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><p><strong>Chapter 17 - Corona<strong>

Throughout the afternoon, slowly but steady the clouds had taken control over the blue sky. Shizuru had watched them move for hours as they were chasing the sun, until they finally ate the last rays away just before dusk. The missing sunset let nightfall come early. During those hours nothing had disturbed the peaceful silence in her head. No incoming phone call, no visitors, no more shouting and fighting, just pure quietness. She had to admit, she felt a little bit catatonic for she hadn't really moved an inch since Reito was gone. Seemingly unable to hold the pace of a world that spun much too fast, she just felt like sitting very still. She would have probably sat there the whole night if it hadn't been for the only thing that could make her move.

"Shizuru, are you in there? Open up!" The husky sound of the voice from the other side of the door was so distinctive that it made Shizuru snap out of her deep thoughts immediately. Unsure if she was ready to face anybody, the chestnut-haired girl took her time to walkover, although the door was only a few steps away. She leaned her head against the cold wood, slowly breathing in and out for a few more seconds before she finally turned the doorknob. Natsuki had patiently waited as if she knew that Shizuru would need the extra time. Somehow this situation exactly described the scheme of their relationship so far. Natsuki always had been the one waiting, but looking into these torn crimson eyes once more showed her that it had been worth it.

"Rough day, huh?" Natsuki said in a quiet voice as if she was afraid of breaking the fragile girl in front of her with any sort of loud sound. Shizuru didn't respond for the answer was already displayed in her eyes. "Come here." Unable to stand the broken look any longer, the raven-haired girl lunged forward to take her into a tight embrace. Shizuru instantly buried her face in the silky dark hair and allowed herself to be weak in the strong hold of Natsuki's arms. She didn't cry as she seemed to have already shed all of her tears earlier. But at least it felt like she could breathe again, for the first time after the door had closed hours ago. She didn't feel so heavy anymore as Natsuki magically seemed to take away some of the weight and pain that had been holding her to the ground earlier. After simply resting in each other's arms, Natsuki ordered Shizuru to lie down. The exhaustion became overwhelming as soon as the Kyoto-girl felt the comfort of the sheets around her. Natsuki silently sat on the edge of the bed, watching the swollen eyes slowly flutter shut. After the breathing of Shizuru had become regular, the raven-haired girl tried to rise as quiet as possible when a hand grabbed her wrist. With a light pull, she was dragged down to bed again. Though Shizuru's eyes were still closed, her mouth moved slightly. "Stay…" It was only a mumble, and Natsuki wasn't even sure if the girl was awake or asleep, but still, it was enough to make it impossible to leave. She took off her shoes and slid under the sheets next to the exhausted girl. She was listening to the regular breathing for a while before her eyelids got heavy.

Peacefully wrapped into each other's arms the girls were sleeping until early morning. It was Shizuru who woke up first. Blinking the sleep from her eyes, she needed some time to become aware of her surroundings. _I am at home in my bed. That's for sure. _Her gaze drifted to her right where Natsuki was still sound asleep. _So fragile while sleeping, so harsh when awake._ As soon as her mind started to work, the thoughts of yesterday hit her. The feeling of waking up and realizing that it wasn't just a bad dream felt like a punch in the face. Sleep had taken away her consciousness and worries, but now they were all back, haunting her down bit by bit. Her life was still turned upside down, and she alone had to face the consequences of the decisions she had made in the past weeks. Waking up and being faced with a shattered existence was certainly the most dreadful feeling in the world. How many days did she wake up feeling light headed or perfectly content? There was no reason to worry about her future as it was all set in stone. Her life was planned out flawlessly until she had willingly become the creator of her personal tragedy. Deliberating different scenarios of her new life, her gaze subconsciously fell back onto the sleeping figure next to her. Black strands covered most of the girl's face, swaying back and forth under the steady breathing. _After all, not everything is awful…_ The Kyoto-girl knew she had done all those things for a reason. Natsuki might have been a catalyst, but eventually Shizuru's old life would have probably driven her crazy at some point in the future. She had always tried to live up to the rules and standards. Not really caring about her desires or dreams, she had been able to fulfill all expectations. It was completely new to her to disappoint and shock the people around her. Of course, she was just as scared as Reito or her parents might be, but it was impossible to fight against something that was buried so deep inside of her. After all, love was an uncontrollable force that broke every last fragment of her resistance. Natsuki had shattered her walls so deeply, and after breaking up with Reito, Shizuru felt as if she had been tearing them down herself. Still, she didn't feel like facing the unknown. The fear of rejection had always been her biggest enemy, but fortunately it never really mattered because she was always loved and accepted by everyone. She knew things would change from now on, and if there would be away around it, she would rather not face it.

"Don't worry too much. It's not as hard as you think." The sleepy voice of Natsuki was completely different and a lot softer than the usual grumpy tone. It took Shizuru a second to realize that the girl must have woken up while she was deep in thoughts.

"How long have you been awake?" Shizuru tried to force a smile, but gave up as soon as Natsuki's hand reached out to cup her face. "Long enough to figure out that you are worried about what lies ahead." The gaze was so unfamiliarly soft that it made Shizuru ease up for a little within a blink of an eye. She was glad that the girl, who was so hard on the outside, had such a soft core. It helped a lot to share some of her worries and she felt as if her fears were safe with Natsuki. Right now, she needed something to hold on to, since nothing was certain anymore. "How could I not?" She took a strand of her chestnut-hair and started to twirl it around her finger as if being absent-mindedly while speaking. Natsuki could see the worry plastered on her face, and took Shizuru's occupied hand in hers. "Because it's going to be okay." She said with a light squeeze. The crimson-eyed girl couldn't help but smile a bit, since it sounded way too easy coming from the mouth of the loner.

"I hope you're right." The taller girl sighed while leaning forward to be closer to the warmth of her opposite. "Of course, I am." Right after Natsuki had finished the sentence with a light kiss on Shizuru's cheek, she felt a bit better.

The next two days they stayed inside the apartment because Shizuru didn't feel like facing the world already. Natsuki had only left occasionally to take care of Duran and get some new clothes. Most of the time they spend talking or simply enjoying each other's presence. Shizuru was still afraid, but the support of Natsuki was enough to keep her going. Every morning, Shizuru woke up early and enjoyed watching Natsuki sleep. She loved how the eyelids of the girl softly fluttered open before being completely disoriented. Each time, Shizuru bent down for a light kiss to remind the dark-haired girl that none of this was a dream. On the third morning, Natsuki was the one to wake up first, but it didn't take long until Shizuru was wide awake. They both sat up on the bed exchanging a long kiss when a loud banging snapped them out of their privacy.

"SHIZURU! Open the door! I know you're home!" It was unmistakably the voice of Reito, but only a lot louder and more aggressive than Shizuru had ever heard him. Her eyes automatically locked with Natsuki's. She could see the dark-haired girl tense under Reito's banging against the door. She lightly shook her head to make clear that she would handle it by herself as the biker made ready to stand up.

"Just give me a minute with him, will you?" Natsuki crossed her arms and responded with a huff only. Shizuru knew the girl wasn't happy about it but didn't deny her request. Hence, she silently rose from the bed and walked towards the door that was still tormented from the other side. When she opened it abruptly, she was faced with Reito's flustered face. The expression only lasted a moment though, as it was quickly replaced by something that Shizuru could only describe as resentment. The amber eyes focused sharply on her before he made his way inside the apartment, smashing the door shut. Shizuru was completely overwhelmed by the unusual rage. When Reito turned around to face her again, she couldn't help but shrug back. Trapped between the door and his presence, Shizuru had to admit that he was a bit threatening. She had never really given credit to his tallness before, but right now, she didn't like the size difference at all. Suddenly, the gaze of him softened as if he had noticed how uncomfortable he made Shizuru with his appearance. None of them spoke a word, and, for a while, they were just staring at each other.

"I still can't believe any of it when I look into your eyes…" The words came out a lot calmer than his entrance had suggested. "Shizuru…" Tears welled up in Reito's eyes as he carefully spoke her name. "Is it really true?" Shizuru knew exactly what he was referring to, but she wasn't prepared for this conversation at all. The pain his eyes emitted felt like razorblades on her skin.

"Reito, you have to believe me. I am so sorry." Her voice was trembling as she took a shaky step towards him. She had dreaded this moment for so long, but it was too late now. Takeda must have told him, and now he was here to confront her with all the things she had done. There was really nothing she could say. It was her fault and she knew it all too well. The ringing of a cell phone broke the thick and poisoned atmosphere for a moment before it got even more loaded. When Reito heard the husky voice answering the call, he turned around and sped towards the bedroom. Ripping the door open, he took a menacing pose as his eyes caught sight of the raven-haired girl sitting on the bed.

"He's already here…" Natsuki said before flipping the phone shut. She directly looked into Reito's eyes to demonstrate that she was ready for a confrontation. The reaction only seemed to infuriate the boy as his entire body tensed under the sight.

"I can't believe she's already in your bed! The sheets were barely cold after you kicked me out of it!" He snapped at Shizuru. "So Takeda was right. How long has this been going on?" His hands were trembling as he tried to control his anger.

"Reito, please. Can we talk about this another time?" The usual perfect flow of Shizuru's voice was distorted by the fear that seemed to suffocate her little by little. _Natsuki shouldn't be here… _was the only thought running through her head while she watched Reito's movements carefully. She didn't want to get the girl involved because it was herself, who needed to explain everything to Reito.

"No! I want to talk about it right here! Right now!" His voice, now matching his entrance from earlier, made her body rigid again. Natsuki had risen from the bed, staying just as taut as Reito.

"Fine…" Shizuru sighed. "Natsuki, would you mind leaving us alone." Her eyes were never leaving Reito as she wanted to be aware of his every movement.

"Yes. In fact, I would mind." With balled fist and an edgy look plastered upon her face, Natsuki stood firm. "He doesn't seem up for a reasonable conversation."

"How dare you! First, it's none of your business and second, there is nothing reasonable about this sick thing!" The use of the word 'sick' angered Shizuru more than she would have anticipated. It hurt that Reito would use such insulting terms after all the years they've spent together. "Reito!" Her voice much stronger now, she positioned herself closer to him. For one thing, she wanted to be ready if he lost his temper, and for another thing it gave her a better view on Natsuki.

"What?" He snapped. "I am done with being the nice guy and getting stabbed in my back." The words were spoken with so much venom that they stung even deeper. Shizuru knew she should have been honest, but it was too late now. There was nothing left to do, but to clear things up and suck up the hate. Indeed, Reito couldn't conceal the thoughts that must have been plaguing him since he was told the truth. "You broke my heart and you didn't even have the courage to tell me why!" The Kyoto-girl needed all her strength to stop herself from breaking down or simply running away. None of this felt real. _Maybe I am still asleep… _And suddenly, in all this chaos, her eyes found Natsuki's. The chestnut-haired girl was more than grateful to have at least one thing left to hold on to. The expression of the emerald orbs held a mixture of love and worry, and Shizuru knew by looking into them that Natsuki would stand by her side, even if the world around her would reject her. She turned her head back to face Reito again, and did her best to gain control over her voice. "I know. I am sorry. I tried to talk to you about it. But every time I wanted to say something, you tried to convince me that things are good between us." She didn't mean to blame anything on him, but to say she didn't try anything would be a blunt lie, too.

"Because they were! What happened that made you act like this?" Shizuru could feel both pairs of eyes on her under his question. She felt trapped, but maybe this was just what she needed. Perhaps, she had to be trapped first before finally breaking free.

"I don't know. It's just the way I feel. How am I to explain something like love?" Her respond seemed to be surprising for both of them. Reito's eyes got wide in disbelief for a second before he cracked.

"Love?" A bitter laugh left his throat before continuing. "This is complete bullshit." The insulting tone coming from the usual gentleman was still so utterly new to Shizuru that she had troubles in keeping her voice down. She didn't want to sound so cold, but she couldn't think of any other way of controlling her emotions. "I don't think you can judge my feelings." She said a little weaker than before.

"Maybe, but I can judge your sanity. If love really is the big issue then what about your love for me? You don't just stop loving somebody." The following silence spoke more than words ever could. The stiffness seemed to leave Reito's body bit by bit with every quiet second that ticked away. His eyes still held fury that didn't vanish though. He closed them for a few seconds and breathed in and out. After being ready to face reality again, he locked his gaze with Shizuru's. Under the weight of truth, he had troubles keeping composure. "You really want to sacrifice everything?" Again, silence took the place of the awaited answer. Unable to bear it any longer he balled his hands into fists. "And what for? For her? A girl you barely know!" He ruffled through his hair with one hand, a gesture Shizuru had never seen before. Directing his gaze towards Natsuki, Reito's voice became full of hate. "It's childish. I have no idea what this is all about, but for all I know you aren't like that." He accusingly pointed his finger at the raven-haired girl, who was still standing in front of the bed with arms akimbo.

"Like what?" came the instant respond from the bedroom, and it was clear that the biker didn't like the boy's attitude at all. Shizuru was afraid for the situation to escalate, and thought about possible ways of getting Natsuki out of Reito's range. Luckily, the ringing of the doorbell, accompanied by the voice of Takeda, cut through the opaque veil of wrath.

"Open the door, please!" Everyone, except Natsuki was flustered about the appearance of the boy out of the blue.

"Takeda, what are you doing here?" Shizuru asked after letting him in. Takeda clearly avoided Shizuru's eyes, and she couldn't blame him. She had betrayed his trust and also hurt his best friend deeply with her actions and lies. He made his way over to Reito's side. Shizuru was a bit startled at first, but soon followed.

"Natsuki asked me to come and I thought Reito might need some back up." Takeda finally explained emotionless. Shizuru turned to Natsuki with a questioning glance.

The green-eyed girl shrugged her shoulders as if inviting Takeda to the already tough conversation was something trivial. "I thought it would be better to have him here since he might be able to talk some sense into Reito."

"What do you mean…" Reito was back in fighting mode within a second. But Takeda was quick to grab his best friend by the arm as an attempt to calm him down.

"Cut it out, pal. You need to calm down first. You shouldn't have come here to begin with. I've told you before." The voice of the usual joyful and dorky boy sounded so mature in that moment that Shizuru could only stare in awe.

"Should I have sat down and waited until Shizuru would have decided to show mercy and let me off the hook by telling me truth?" He was talking to Takeda and not her, but it still felt like being shot with a gun. Knowing to have made a mistake was one thing, but hearing that Reito really thought so badly of her was another. It had never been her intention to keep him hooked or anything. Also Natsuki seemed to be a little startled about the realization that Shizuru hadn't told Reito anything about her true feelings. They had talked about the break-up but not in every detail. It didn't look like it at all, but Shizuru only wanted to avoid unnecessary discomfort. But now that she was standing in the debris of her good intentions, she regretted not to have talked turkey with everyone. Not really knowing what to say, the chestnut-haired girl searched Takeda's eyes for any sign of help. She knew he was probably the last person in the room to turn to, but he seemed to be the only one in this moment ready to face the situation. Takeda wasn't fond of the part, but he knew that Reito would probably only listen to him. "We should go." He grabbed Reito by the shoulder, but the tall boy wasn't ready to leave just now.

"Don't act like it doesn't involve you! You've been just as fooled as me." It was impossible for the enraged boy to keep his voice down. Takeda's presence hadn't been able to calm him after all.

"I know, but still, staying here and screaming at the girls doesn't solve anything." It was remarkable how well Takeda managed the bottled-up emotion of the situation. It was as if the last days had made him grow-up faster.

"Why did you have to bring her into our life? Everything was so perfect…" Reito's voice now held a tad of sorrow instead of pure hate. Shizuru couldn't tell if it was the way Takeda coped with the situation or if his strength just started to lessen under the constant pressure. Shizuru knew Takeda had done the best he could. It was on her to end this conversation. "It wasn't. If they were, Natsuki wouldn't have managed to get into my heart. Things between us had become more habit than love. You've been seeing Mai a lot more often lately, which also wasn't a good sign." The words let Reito step back in defense.

"There's nothing going on between her and me! Don't you dare turning tables on me! This is not my fault! It's yours alone! And hers!" Again, Reito pointed his finger towards Natsuki; a gesture Shizuru didn't like the slightest way.

"Stop insulting Natsuki! This is between us!" Her body moved into a more defensive position. Halfway shielding Natsuki from Reito's view, she felt obligated to stop Reito from spilling any more accusations. The protective behavior though, made him even more bitter.

"There is no us! Not anymore! It's only you and me and a lot more of you, since your ego is the only thing in the world you really care about!" Although Shizuru tried to get used to his shouting, the words still rung like thunder in her ears. It sounded so horrible, yet it was true. She was being egoistic. She had tried to fight her feelings, but in the end love had conquered her completely. By now, she could do nothing but to remind herself that it was worth it.

"You're right. I'll take the blame for all of this. I'll endure your rage and accusations." Every word seemed to be another failure. She could feel it herself. It just seemed to come out wrong. Maybe she shouldn't say anything at all.

"Oh, don't play the sacrifice, Shizuru. Like always you are the one who gets all you want. You weren't dumped or fooled or cheated. No, you're even rewarded with someone who loves you. No matter how sick it is. So, don't make it sound like you're the victim in this." Reito's rage had ebbed away a bit, but the hate didn't leave his eyes. Shizuru knew, he had every right to, still it felt weird to have the person who used to love you, suddenly hate you.

"I never meant to hurt you…" It sounded so pathetic and stale, but it was true. Although, it very much looked like she was carless, she had worried quite a lot. Her actions might have been wrong all along, but her intentions weren't bad. Her gaze wandered to Takeda for a second, but he was occupied focusing Natsuki. Shizuru knew that she had not only lost Reito in this war. After a second of silence, Reito took a crestfallen position.

"I really doubt that you know what you're doing. You're throwing everything we had away just for her? You don't even know her." His voice was barely audible. It was obvious that he couldn't take much more, but Shizuru knew that only the harsh truth could help him in the long run.

"I know that something was missing my entire life and right now, it feels like it was her." Shizuru saw in the corner of her eye that Natsuki head snapped up in surprise. _Did she really think she is just some experience to me?_ The Kyoto-girl turned around a bit to send a light smile towards the dark-haired beauty. The movement didn't go unnoticed and in combination with her words, it seemed to make Reito crack again.

"What? Are you nuts? She's just a crazy lesbian chick who fooled my best friend to get to you." Now everything happened real fast. Before Shizuru had a chance to react, Natsuki had gotten into a fighting pose. Reito's eyes fell upon her like he wanted to kill the girl right on the spot.

"Just give me a reason…" Reito said with a death glare before turning back towards Shizuru. "I really wish it would have been a guy so that I could at least punch someone in the face."

"Try me!" Inwardly, Natsuki lunged forward an inch, but was held back by Shizuru's hand on her arm. Unable to keep composure anymore, she shouted at Reito. "Stop it! Both of you! I am sick of this! I don't want anyone to fight over me. Didn't you just say I am not worth it?" She took a deep breath before focusing the raven-haired with her eyes. "And you… Don't you see that he's right? I am really not worth any of this…" It wasn't meant to sound pathetic, and the last thing she wanted was for anyone to feel sorry for her. It was just her being completely honest. After all she had done, she wasn't worth this entire ruckus.

"Yeah, well. I still don't like his guts." Without a second warning, Natsuki lunged out and landed a full hit right in Reito's his face. "That was for calling me a bitch, and for being completely annoying." At first, Shizuru wasn't able to comprehend what had just happened, but when Natsuki turned around with a content smile, she knew that at least one person in the room felt better after all.

"I'll kill you." With his face contorted in pain, Reito held his right cheek with one hand while the other was balled into a fist.

"Really? I'd like to see that." Natsuki made ready to block any possible attack. Before Reito could do anything though, he was held back by Takeda.

"Reito! Stop it!" Not wanting his best friend to lose it completely, the spiky-head couldn't do anything but building himself up between the beaten one and the girls. Reito clearly wasn't happy about the outcome of this conversation. Furthermore, he was shocked that Takeda wasn't on his side anymore.

"What are you cheering for the dykes now or what? Man, I really start to believe you're one of them. This chick completely humiliated you." The words still made Natsuki's body tense, but when Takeda responded, her body instantly lost all its strength. "I know, but I do still love her…" Takeda's words were barely a whisper, but everyone could clearly hear the sadness in his voice.

"You're such a sap." Reito said, not sane enough to feel sorry for anyone but himself at the moment. Shizuru was watching Takeda in awe. She never thought about how much it would hurt Takeda. She had been always busy worrying about Natsuki, Reito and herself, but seeing the poor guy right now, nearly broke her heart.

"No." He sighed. "I am just past the rage." It was somehow remarkable how calm his voice was under the given circumstances. _I wonder if Reito will ever think like this…_

"In time, you'll come to that point, too. You'll stop hating everything around you, and finally, you'll wish her the best." Takeda looked at Natsuki with loving eyes before taking her in for a tight embrace. Natsuki didn't resist the action. Seeing the gesture, she knew, she could never thank Takeda enough for what he did today. Quite the opposite, Reito was disgusted by the weak behavior of his best friend. He couldn't understand how he could simply forgive the girl for fooling him like that.

"The best? Are you kidding me?" He would not just stand there, pitied by the world. He was a fighter. He always got what he wanted; one way or another. Takeda only shook his head as he turned back to his best friend.

"Let's go, pal." He said as he laid his hands on Reito's shoulders. "There's nothing here for us anymore." The gesture somehow seemed to cool down the boiling emotions. The rage plastered upon Reito's face, visibly vanished and was eventually replaced by pure disbelief and desperation. "But… I can't just give up..." He stammered with now empty eyes. Takeda squeezed his shoulders lightly and gave him a reassuring smile. "It's not about giving up. It's about letting go. Believe me, the pain doesn't just go away, but you'll make room for it."

Reito once more turned to the chestnut-haired girl, who meanwhile had positioned herself close to Natsuki. "I love you, Shizuru…" Reito's words stung deeply for Shizuru knew she didn't feel like that anymore. Once again, she had to be honest and make clear that she was sure. She took Natsuki's hand in hers and looked Reito directly in the eyes. Knowing that she had to break this off completely, she tried to find strength in the physical contact. Indeed, the strong hold of Natsuki made her speak the final words once more.

"I'm sorry." She said in a low but resolute voice. There was nothing left to say. And so, Takeda dragged Reito out of the apartment for good, leaving the two girls to themselves.

A few hours later, Shizuru and Natsuki had made themselves comfortable on the couch. The room was only lit by a few candles that flickered softly, as if they were dancing to the music that was flooding the room. Exhausted but content, they hadn't talked much since the boys left the apartment. Cradled in the arms of the biker, the Kyoto-girl was listening to the steady beating heart beneath her. Despite all the chaos, it was the only place where she could breathe easy. She was observing the small flames absent-mindedly, while taking a strand of black hair to play with it.

"Takeda should have waited to telling Reito." She eventually said, while twirling the hair between her fingertips.

"You should have been the one to tell him the truth." came the instant respond. The tone was soft though. Much softer than expected, and Shizuru was glad that the girl wasn't mad anymore. Deep down she knew it was her fault, but she had hoped she could have spared Reito the details. Acknowledging her mistake, she breathed a silent 'I know', while cuddling closer into Natsuki's arms.

"Takeda was just trying to help. Reito was completely wrecked when he came to him, not knowing why on earth you would break up with him. He thought it was only fair to tell his best friend the truth." Natsuki squeezed the crimson-eyed girl lightly, and started stroking the chestnut hair. The affectionate gesture caused Shizuru's heart to skip a beat. "You're right. I just wish it would have been easier." Of course, there was no way it would have been easier. She knew that quite well, but hurting someone she had once loved wasn't something she enjoyed.

"Nothing is easy when love is involved." Natsuki finally said, after a small pause. She kissed Shizuru lightly on the temple, which made the girl lift her head for a more passionate kiss on the lips. When they broke the kiss, Shizuru stared deeply into the emerald eyes. "I don't deserve to have you…" She breathed upon the lips of her significant other. "Yeah, maybe you're right. Still… I love you all the more." The last words were swallowed by another fierce kiss that could only barely still the longing they both felt. The music swayed them away into a world where nothing could disturb them, while the candles burned away the night. Only the scent of the extinguished light remained, lulling the exhausted girls into a deep sleep.

As peaceful as the night had ended, as dreadful the morning had begun. A loud bashing against the apartment door had let Shizuru almost fall from the couch. After she had identified the following voice as her father's, she had hurriedly grabbed her clothes and got dressed. Natsuki had been just as alarmed and had hastily grabbed her things as well. She had shot Shizuru a worried glance as the girl looked too afraid to open the door. A reassuring nod later, Shizuru had been brave enough to open up. If she had known the consequences by then, she would rather have escaped with Natsuki silently. At least she would have tried, but it was too late now. Her parents had dragged her away in a mad rush, and practically imprisoned her as far away from Natsuki as possible. They had ripped her out of the life she had chosen; locking her away from the one thing that was kept her going. Now, Shizuru felt completely paralyzed. Still in complete disbelief about the action of her parents, she sat on her old bed in, what used to be, her room. For hours, she was staring at the ceiling. It felt odd to be in her children's room again. Not a lot had changed since she had left her home for Fuuka University. Her parents were either too nostalgic or too busy to really bother to redecorate the room. Figuring it probably was the latter, Shizuru eventually rose from the familiar bed with a sigh. She walked up and down the wooden floor, watching the barren walls around her. Her parents had always wanted her to keep the room clean and presentable for guests. Space for privacy or photographs wasn't very welcomed in the old Fujino mansion. So, her room always had given away a cold and fake atmosphere. When she thought about it now, it was no wonder she had left for University acting just like that. The more time she had spent away from home, the more she felt like becoming a person instead of the working-machine she was raised. Her apartment was utterly different from this sterile ambience, and so was she. Being here, felt like being trapped in the past. A past she didn't really like.

After the aimless up and down walk, she came to a stop in front of the window and begun to stare outside. Some birds were crossing the blue sky; free and careless, while she was imprisoned behind a wall of glass_. Behind a wall of rejection and intolerance._ Her thoughts were spinning around those words over and over again. She wasn't used to any of this. None of her so-called friends had contacted her so far. She couldn't say if her parents had something to do with it or if they really didn't care at all. The only thing she knew was that Reito must have told her mother and father. Probably as one last desperate try to win her back. The images of her mother dragging her outside while her father blocked the way for Natsuki flashed through her head once more. She didn't have an idea where Natsuki was or what she thought of the whole cretinism. As badly as she wanted to contact the raven-haired girl, she had no idea how. Her parents had taken her mobile phone plus they watched her every movement. With a sigh, she opened the door to her balcony and stepped outside to at least breathe in some of the fresh air. It wasn't freedom, but it was at least something. Standing on the balcony reminded her of the many times, she had sat here, reading Shakespeare and other classic literature like a maniac. Of course, only if she hadn't been busy painting her surroundings. Comparing her life back then to the way it was now, made her reconsider. The only thing that had changed was the circumstances. She was still the same person that loved to paint and read. Only now, it wasn't Reito on her side but Natsuki. How could her parents judge her by her feelings?

"Shizuru, darling, would you please come down? Your father and I would like to have a word with you." Shizuru didn't respond and her mother didn't call again. It was an unspoken rule that she would immediately come down without complaining. If her parents wanted something, Shizuru would obey. It had always been that way, and although she could feel that something was about to be different, now wasn't the right time to act up.

She walked down the round staircase and crossed the empty main hall until finally arriving in the office of her father; the place where all important talks were held, be it family business or not. Her mother was already sitting on the leather couch with her father, who gestured her to sit down. Just when she was about to ask what they wanted to discuss with her, a very familiar voice from behind made her hold her breath. It shouldn't be a surprise, but for him to really have the guts to face her after his betrayal made her blood boil.

"It's so good to have you here, Reito-san." Shizuru's mother said with a thick Kyoto accent, while her father only nodded. Shizuru didn't even turn around. She was so furious, and also didn't want for Reito to have his triumph. After all, she shouldn't forget that she had also made a lot of mistakes lately. Still, the reaction of her former boyfriend drove her crazy. _How dare he inform my parents without my consent!_ Her nails were digging into the leather of the couch, thereby making an ugly sound. All eyes flashed towards her.

"Won't you welcome, Reito?" Her father said in a stern voice. For a few seconds, her crimson eyes were just starring back into his dark ones. A battle of willpower, which Shizuru eventually lost. "Hello…" she muttered, more into the nothingness than into the room. Reito sat down wordlessly beside her; a small smile plastered on his lips. _How can he even smile in a situation like this?_

"Shizuru, your mother and I are very worried about the recent events in your life. Not only did you decline Reito's offer to move in with him, but far worse you broke up with him. Why so?"

"As if you don't already know that." Her voice was sarcastic. She wasn't in any mood to play hide and seek when everyone in the room already knew the deal.

"We're not here to discuss your latest experiments. We're here to discuss your future with Reito." _What? Did he really just completely ignore it?_ She couldn't afford to show signs of disbelief on her face. Being a master in hiding emotion, Shizuru was quick to put on a fighting mask. _I won't back down. Not this time ._Shizuru needed a second to keep her voice under control. Being overly dramatic wouldn't help her to solve this situation. "There is none." She simply said, trying not to sound too nonchalantly. Reito had made her angry, yes, but hurting him on purpose wasn't an option. She could already feel him tense under the comparable weak answer she had given her father.

"Honey, what happened with you?" Her mother was bending forward a little, searching her eyes with a worried gaze. Of course, Reito's action didn't go unnoticed. Her mother had closely watched his every movement. She had always liked him. It must be hard for her to see him suffer under Shizuru's seemingly cruel behavior. But despite all the pity Shizuru felt for him, she couldn't effort to be weak. She shouldn't even have to defend her feelings in front of her family. But here she was, fighting for something that should be natural.

"I just fell in love with someone else. It's not like I placed a bomb in the white house or something."

His father shot forward as well, causing Shizuru to shrug back. It almost looked like a perfect synchrony, although they were far from such a thing.

"Don't talk like that to your mother." He snapped. "Do you really think this is all just a joke? Our family business depends on this and Reito is the most suitable man for you." His gestures and voice made it clear that he was enraged. He had never talked to Shizuru this way before. He had always treated her like a little princess. Hearing him talking like that broke her heart more than she was willing to show. Feeling like a little child again, it became harder to keep composure. But there were things that she needed to get out. There was no going back.

"Even if he is. I think I've always felt myself drawn towards women." It were only words, yet, it felt like liberation to her.

"This is nonsense. You're not abnormal. That tomboyish biker is just fooling around with you." The use of the word 'abnormal' forced tears into her eyes. She had promised herself to be strong, and not to cry in front of her parents, but it was so hard. Hearing them talk like this, made her feel completely alone. Reito was watching her silently, probably deliberating if he should come to her aid. Or probably he wasn't. She wasn't sure about most things anymore, except one.

"Her name is Natsuki and I am in love with her." Her hands started trembling slightly, making her grab her skirt in order to calm down. The action must have looked pathetic, since her mother's voice suddenly sounded a lot softer.

"Darling, things like love come and go. Love is barely more than a chapter filled with frenzy in a book loaded with responsibilities."

Hearing her mother say this so carefree made her feel sorry. She'd always thought of her mother as being somewhat unhappy, but getting the confirmation, still, was kind of a shock.

"I am sorry that this might have been the case in your life, mother." Her hands stopped shaking and breathing became a little easier again. Seeing her mother like that only made her more certain that she was doing the right thing. "I am not going to live like this. I will live the life I chose." The face of the older woman turned into an enigma. Shizuru couldn't decipher if it was pure shock, anger or even appreciation. She gave her mother a light smile and to her surprise her mother smiled back. Moved by the silent understanding, the chestnut-haired girl hadn't given much credit to the opinion of her father. Only when he was abruptly interfering in the mother-daughter moment, she recognized him to still have a say in this conversation.

"You're really going to give up all your privileges and heritage for that girl?" His voice was sharp and deadly serious. Shizuru stared at the bottom, needing some moments to form an answer. When her head lifted, she was faced with the stern face of her father and the worried glance of her mother. She wasn't ready to drag Reito into this, since he had kept quiet anyway. He got his answer before and not even her parents would change her mind this time.

"No, but for myself." She let the sentence take effect for a second before continuing. "Are you really going to give up your daughter because she chooses her own path?" The words hung in the air, making it thick with consideration. After a few seconds, her father's still hadn't answered her question. Thinking that she maybe had triggered something that would make him reconsider, she went on. "The worth of a human being shouldn't be defined by the norm. It should be defined by their character, their doings and their behavior. Feelings do make us human. So either none of you have any, or you're just too stubborn to accept that this is still me. I am still your daughter." The body of her father tensed. She didn't know what to expect, but when the tall man stood up with eyes closed, it was obvious that he wasn't happy about his daughter's emancipation. With gritted teeth, he finally gave the awaited answer to Shizuru's monologue.

"No, you're a lesbian now and you're going to stay here as long as it takes to make up your mind." His voice was angry, but his eyes had changed. They were full of worry and disbelief. Still, Shizuru couldn't just swallow what he had said. The words stuck in her throat and she felt like choking. Unable to hold back her tears, she jumped to her feet and left the room wordlessly. Nobody was holding her back. Nobody was coming after her. This was it; the great liberation. She was freed from her inner prison but trapped inside the stubbornness of her parents.

After several minutes of pacing up and down her room in an attempt to fight her tears down, Shizuru let her body rest on the bed. It was silent in the villa. The voices from downstairs had died away a few minutes ago, after Reito had left without saying goodbye to her. She had seen his car driving down the street, fading away in the slowly setting sun. Her bed didn't give her much comfort as she tossed and turned. It felt empty and so felt she. Low footsteps drew her attention from the ceiling towards the door, which soon was knocked on from the other side.

"Shizuru, I'm coming in." Her mother's voice was quiet and soft. The chestnut-haired girl couldn't bring herself to face her after the conversation from before and so turned back to face the ceiling again. Her mother was standing in the doorframe for awhile as if not being sure if leaving or entering the privacy of her only child. Eventually, she decided to close the door and sat down on the bed next to the lying form of Shizuru. She watched the swollen eyes for awhile before she tenderly stroked her daughter's cheek. "Your father didn't mean what he said. He is just upset." Crimson eyes were staring straight ahead, when the quiet girl finally responded.

"I wouldn't be so sure." The weakness in the usual strong and confident voice of her daughter made the older woman crack.

"I know, honey… But maybe he needs time." After all, there wasn't much she could do. It wasn't clear if her husband would make up his mind, but for all she knew, she didn't want her daughter to suffer.

"Maybe not." Shizuru's voice was barely a whisper anymore, and her mother could hear the hope fading.

"I can't tell for sure…" The Kyoto-woman said more to herself than to Shizuru. Silence filled the room again and swallowed all the fresh blossomed hope in Shizuru's heart. Despite all her strength, she couldn't hold back her feelings anymore. She turned away from her mother, burying her head deep in the pillow. The expected gesture of comfort from her mother never came though. Instead, the woman wordlessly left the room. Shizuru listened to the fading footsteps. But before she had the chance to drown in the extreme loneliness, the steps became louder again and a few seconds later, her mother was back in the room with a small package. The word 'Homework' graced its side in capital letters.

"It's for you. It arrived here this morning. I suppose the university sent you the homework we have requested." The older woman placed the box on the nightstand. Shizuru shot an incredulous look.

"Thank you, mother." Her voice was cold as ice. To her surprise her mother winked at her.

"Don't be lazy, my beloved daughter." The Kyoto woman patted the box with a smile. And with that she walked out of the door, leaving back a flustered Shizuru.

When examining the package, she saw that it had already been opened. _They're such control freaks…_ Inside she found a book, labeled with 'English Literature'. _Right, I almost forgot about Mrs. Bradstone's class._ A sheet of paper with tasks and a small letter was attached to the book.

'Dear Shizuru-san,

Your classmate was so nice to mark the important passages in the book to help you complete the assignments. Get well soon.

D. Bradstone'

_Classmate…She can't mean…_ When Shizuru started flipping through the book, it didn't take long before she found the first marked passage.

'Disobedience, in the eyes of any one who has read history, is [hu]man's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion.'

― Oscar Wilde

A few pages later, another sentence was highlighted with a blue marker.

'Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice, then in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.'

― Robert Sexton

Page after page the book slowly came to life, sending her messages from a world outside that still existed; that still waited for her. Hungrily she indulged every word before she started working on the given tasks. She placed the paper sheets and the books back in the package with a light smile on her face. Of course, she had done some extra work that wasn't included in the assignment from Mrs. Bradstone. The words she wanted to say to the raven-haired girl still burned on her tongue, and expressing them with marked quotes couldn't really still the longing. Yet, it was better than nothing.

'We should meet in another life, we should meet in air, me and you.'

― Sylvia Plath

'I like you; your eyes are full of language.'

― Anne Sexton

Reading the highlighted passages once more, she took a deep breath and brought the box downstairs to one of the maids.

As days went by, she could feel something inside of her change. It wasn't only herself though, but also her mother, who brought the everyday package personally into her room. Her father still didn't talk to her much, but it felt as if he was at least trying to get used to it somehow. Sitting on the balcony, Shizuru was eagerly painting the tree in front of the house on a canvas when her mother brought her another package. She placed it on the table with a smile and regarded the painting for a while, before leaving her daughter to herself with an appreciative nod.

When her mother was gone, Shizuru put the paint brush away and unpacked the 'homework'.

There wasn't anything close to an assignment this time. Only a very old looking book, and given the smell, it must indeed be ancient. When she opened it, she instantly recognized the Old English words. It was one of the first printed editions of Shakespeare's Romeo & Juliet. Full of joy, Shizuru pressed the book against her chest with a smile. She felt like a six-year old again when she started skimming the pages. This time only two quotes were highlighted:

'Under love's heavy burden do I sink' and 'Then I defy you stars.'

It didn't seem much, but it was probably the best thing the crimson-eyed girl had ever gotten. Natsuki knew how to make her smile, even when everything seems futile.

Shizuru turned the last page and found a written sentence. 'Let's fight fate tonight.' It was obvious that Natsuki was up to something, and although Shizuru had no idea what it was, she had the feeling that she should be on the balcony after sundown.

When the sun had vanished beyond the horizon, the blue sky slowly turned to black. The chestnut-haired girl was enjoying the colorful play from the chair on her balcony. She didn't wear her nightgown by now since she still had the feeling that something was about to happen. And indeed, when the first stars became visible a roar could be heard in the distance. With time, the sound approached the mansion, accompanied by a headlight. Shizuru's heart started pounding heavily when she saw a black figure descending from the familiar bike. Against her anticipation, the biker didn't take the door but the nonexistent way over the ivy clad walls towards the balcony to get to her.

"That was quiet impressive." Shizuru noted, still in awe. Feeling like a little princess again, she lunged forward and took Natsuki in a tight hug. When she breathed in the missed scent, she was able to forget everything around her for a second. Suddenly, footsteps could be heard throughout the mansion, interrupting the perfect moment. Shizuru instantly froze, but Natsuki was quick to break the embrace, and to thereby bring the tensed girl back from the short daze.

"Come on. Let's get out of here." Natsuki said as she held out her hand towards Shizuru, who didn't hesitate a second. Both girls chuckled lightly as they sped down the main road, away from the mansion. Without a destination, they drove aimlessly for almost twenty minutes; simply enjoying each other's company. Shizuru was tightly holding on to Natsuki, and the pace was not the only reason for that. She enjoyed feeling the abdomen muscles tense and relaxed under the movement of her fingertips. The dark-haired girl was not complaining, but Shizuru bet that the girl had troubles concentrating on the drive. Natsuki eventually brought the bike to a stop on the side of a large corn field. The plants were not too high though, she could still overlook the area. While the raven-haired girl parked the bike, Shizuru was turning back for a second. It was very dark, only in the far away distance the lights of the city were brightening the night a little. Just enough to make out the splendid emeralds after Natsuki had taken off her helmet. Without a word, the girl made her way through the field, expecting Shizuru to follow, which she did without complaining. A few meters inside the field Natsuki started walking down some of the plants instead of avoiding them.

"So, Natsuki is responsible for the mysterious crop circles after all. I am extremely disillusioned now."

The raven-haired girl turned around with a smile on her lips before spreading a blanket on the ground. Shizuru got over and sat down. It was a little chilly outside, but much warmer than sitting on the bike. Her eyes had finally adjusted to the darkness. Now, she was able to take in the full features of the girl that was making herself comfortable next to her. For a moment, they just stared at each other. Shizuru still wasn't sure if she was having a crazy dream, or if it was really true. But the past had shown that most things concerning Natsuki were true.

"I guess the bike was too loud after all." The dark-haired girl joked, daring to break the silence. "Natsuki, should have planned this out more carefully. Knights usually come on horses." Lightly chuckling, Shizuru took the hand of her significant other in hers.

"Oi, and princesses usually don't complain about being rescued." The tone was still joking, although Natsuki made the cutest pouting face ever. It was unusual to see the girl so light-hearted, but Shizuru liked it a lot. _I should have teased her more often. Well, it's never too late for that._ "So, Natsuki thinks I am a princess." Using her seductive voice on the raven-haired girl luckily had the desired effect. A light blush was starting to form on the pale cheeks.

"Well, you live in a castle like building, and you're pretty…" Despite the coldness Natsuki usually radiated, the stuttering made her look quite adorable. As a result of the sudden insecurity, the blush deepened even more. But at least it made Shizuru stop the teasing attack. Feeling really flattered, she flashed Natsuki one of her real smiles. "That's very sweet of you." She breathed, before leaning in and plastering a light kiss on the biker's mouth. "Thank you, Natsuki. For saving me. The real me." Natsuki seemed completely taken aback as she did nothing but stare. Seeing her reflection in the deep green eyes, Shizuru had troubles on concentrating on what she had planned to say. The last days were filled with worrying what to say to Natsuki. And now, when she had the chance to let out all her thoughts, she was hypnotized by the mere presence of the girl. Only the thought, of not knowing when she will have the next chance to speak her feelings, made her snap out of the daze eventually. She took one more moment to regard the beauty of the raven-haired girl before she started speaking again.

"I've felt a sting in my heart when I heard you and Takeda would want to go all the way…but I ignored it. Just like I ignored everything concerning my feelings towards you, but now I feel brave enough." Natsuki's face brightened under the words and Shizuru's heart did the same. She had never been surer that she was finally doing the right thing. This girl had turned her world around and she loved the new direction she was heading. Her whole life she had felt like going down a path that wasn't hers to go and now. After all those years of functioning, she was slowly coming to life. Suddenly everything around her was real. The wind, the grass, the stars, all of it was real. This wasn't the planetarium that only had artificial stars. This night sky resembled her new reality. Now she knew it wasn't her feelings she had needed to change but her surroundings. All the words she had arranged in the last days seemed to have left her head. Her mind was lost in the chirping sound of the crickets, in the darkness around them and in the gaze of her opposite. The second Natsuki captured her lips she immediately knew her mouth didn't need a voice to speak her heart. She allowed herself to get lost in the moment, and the kiss soon deepened. When they broke it for some much needed air, the raven-haired girl held in for a second.

"You know we have to go back eventually." She whispered with a hint of sadness in her voice. The sight was heart wrenching and Shizuru already had troubles controlling the unsteady rhythm of hers.

"I know. But not tonight." She breathed, before hungrily reaching for Natsuki's lips again. They sunk down onto the blanket, unable to break away from each other again.

Shizuru soon found herself on the back panting erratically with a wild beating heart, while looking into the starlit night sky. Suddenly it wasn't chilly at all. She felt like her body could burn down this whole field. Under the shelter of night, the melodic chirping and the sound of the blowing wind soon mixed with their moans until daybreak slowly brought them back from their reverie.

As the horizon begun to turn from black to a deep red, Shizuru was comfortably resting in the strong hold of Natsuki's arms. Closely entangled, they were happily watching the sun coming up.

"You know…" Natsuki started, but paused a second when the first ray of sunlight touched her face. "I have a house and stuff. I'm sure we could make it somehow." Shizuru stared at the spectacle in the distance, and took a second before answering. "Is Natsuki trying to bribe me?" She could feel the dark-haired girl smile lightly, and pressed herself a little closer.

"Maybe…" She could hear the spur of disappointment in the husky voice, and she didn't want the girl to think for one more second that she would choose anyone or anything else than her. Shifting her position carefully, Shizuru was able to lock her gaze with the emerald-eyed beauty. The sunlight was already illuminating the stunning green. She could only smile as she was even surer of what her life would look like from now on.

"I would even stay with you if we would have nothing more than this…" She carefully traced her fingers down Natsuki's shoulder, along her collarbone, until resting them on the watch that was hanging around the girl's neck. Taking it in her hand, Shizuru looked at the small object for a second. The hands were still not moving; captured in a time of sorrow. With a soft smile still plastered on her face, her crimson eyes were searching for the emeralds, before she pushed the small button on the pocket watch with her index finger. "… because everything I've got to lose is right in front of me."

The low ticking sound the action had triggered was barely audible, but it was there. And although the moment around them seemed frozen, time began moving again.

**FIN**

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So…This is it! The end of my longest story. It's also the only story with a happy end. Yay, for good times^^ The paperback and ebook of the novel is now available as a newly edited and original version on Amazon, ITunes and Smashwords.

So, for the everlasting complaint about story pace… At first some were whining because it was too slow. Now it's too fast. Actually there's only one thing I have to say to this: That's life. Uncontrollable. Sometimes too fast, sometimes too slow. It's never perfect. Therefore, I have to say I am satisfied with the pace and the story itself. Let's see, what's left? First: A big thanks to all of my readers, reviewing or not, you guys kept this story going. It was a pleasure having so many people following up the ways of my cracked brain. I know I am such sucker for drama, but you know that already. Everyone was warned. There won't be a sequel. The tale is told and I have three new ideas in mind that I need to get out first. One is a NatNao (without Shizuru in it and from Nao's POV – and yes I can hear all the disappointed huffs, but I love Nao. So, suck it up :-P ). The other idea is a NatShizNao (yes, I came up with a plausible idea how Shizuru could actually take interest in Nao) and the last one is another ShizNat (of course drama and romance – it will probably be the one I am starting to write soon). You're welcome to tell me which of the ideas you prefer, but I can already guess, ShizNat will win this contest by far. I would also like to thank HollowPoint for being my beta in the beginning and a big big thanks to Ivy Rose who made an incredible good job in taking over the beta'ing and also in proof-reading all the already uploaded chapters and short stories of mine. She's the best beta I can imagine.

And some private words at the end: As I've pointed out several times, I have been living parts of this story in my life while writing it. Maybe it made the whole thing more real, who knows. It wasn't always easy but writing was a good way of venting and getting out all the bottled–up things. At first my life was slower than the story but somewhere in the middle events sped up until it outran it. In the end I think the story and my life are even. Of course, it didn't happen exactly like this, but I want to thank the girl who gave me the inspiration to write this with just her mere presence. I know times were rough ever since both of our relationships went to hell because we fell in love with each other. But after all I wouldn't have missed one second with you. Thank you for holding on all the time.

I love you, Anna.

Until next time

Yours

damn unique


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